Is paying the bar to take a girl out of the bar justified? Or just a scam?

[Equatorial]

1 hour ago, MalcolmB said:

A lot of the less inexperienced members were trying to say it wasn’t a thing at all.

 

Actually, they may actually be more experienced, rather then less. 

 

First, that may be based on their personal experience. 

 

Also, an obligation to give money to an "employer" (bar, in this case) upon leaving implies indentured labor. As far as I know, bar girls in Pattaya and Bangkok are not indentured, and they are free to go without any compensation to the bar. And they often do - they quit and go back upcountry, or they move to a different bar, etc. That includes the case when they decide to stop working bar and to stay with a farang. 

 

I don't doubt that some bars will request money, and the girl may be complicit, out of obligation, or because of other reasons. And, for the peace of mind, the farang may decide to pay a small amount.

 

But, ultimately, the bar has no recourse (legal or otherwise) against the girls who leave, for whatever reason. 

[actonion]

She can quit,  but  wont  because the Mamasan  is giving  her a cut  of the 50,000b  or so she believes, having received a cut,  and a returned  to Buriram for a week or two  I  fully expect her to return to the Bar when the boyfriend has gone home

[actonion]

23 hours ago, quake said:

 Come on now.

No porkies. have a look. 

On 6/19/2025 at 8:08 AM, frank83628 said:

Why on earth do you old guys think these girls like you

Because they always tell me I'm a "Sexy Man"

 

[MalcolmB]

18 minutes ago, actonion said:

She can quit,  but  wont  because the Mamasan  is giving  her a cut  of the 50,000b  or so she believes, having received a cut,  and a returned  to Buriram for a week or two  I  fully expect her to return to the Bar when the boyfriend has gone home

Those days are finished with international free video calls. 
 

[cdemundo]

I haven't experienced this particular problem but sometimes the mamasans really seem to have a lot of control over bargirls who seem to feel obligated. Like "She did so much for me."

 

I was barfining a girl in Pattaya who was like under the spell of the mamasan.

She thought the mamasan was always looking out for her and trusted and looked up to her.  Not my business so I didn't get involved but the mamasan was getting a cut of any money this girl made, more so than with other bargirls I had known. Trying to remember exactly what she was getting a cut of but I just remember thinking that I had never heard of the mamasan getting a cut of things this girl was paying.

 

Some bargirls seem to see the mamasans as I do - money grubbing parasites; but others seem to see them as if they were a revered older relative or something. Maybe a function of how long they have been in the bar scene. I suppose when a farmer girl starts out as a bargirl it seems like the mamasan is helping them. As your girl says "Mamasan gave her the job, accommodation, lent her money, bought her clothes etc".

 

Maybe the bargirls get some benefit from bribing the mamasan that I don't understand.  Actually, sometimes I see punters acting the same way and tipping the mamasan exorbitantly for no reason that is apparent to me.

In general I don't see any benefit to me from the mamasan.

[ThreeCardMonte]

12 hours ago, Patong2021 said:

 

Murder, incest,  spousal and child abuse have also been around just as long.  Your logic holds that we should turn a blind eye to it  as well. A wrongful act is a wrongful act.

 

The beneficiaries of bar fines are pimps. They make their living from the sale of men women, boys and girls for sexual acts. they are parasites.  The practice leaves emotionally damaged people. That is why the discussion of whether or not pay a pimp is disgusting

 

After you’re finished galloping through the farang district on your White Knight campaign will you proceed to the Thai on Thai districts?

 

I’m sure they will appreciate your noble cause.

 

 

[Maestro]

On 6/19/2025 at 3:27 AM, NanLaew said:

 

Porn has four letters but.

 

Only in some pronunciation guides for English speakers and in some lowly educated persons' own transcription of their name. Look at the name written in Thai and you will see no r (ร). Listen to the name being pronounced and you hear no r.

[NanLaew]

35 minutes ago, Maestro said:

 

Only in some pronunciation guides for English speakers and in some lowly educated persons' own transcription of their name. Look at the name written in Thai and you will see no r (ร). Listen to the name being pronounced and you hear no r.

 

Enough with this "lowly educated" nonsense already. This is the community farang pub after all.

 

Thai language doesn't follow the syllablic convention of the Roman language. When they say Porn, they say Paw-n, not Pon.

[Patong2021]

11 hours ago, ThreeCardMonte said:

After you’re finished galloping through the farang district on your White Knight campaign will you proceed to the Thai on Thai districts?

 

I’m sure they will appreciate your noble cause.

 

I have no desire to engage or save anyone. Nor is it about being your fictional white knight. It is just a very easy personal choice: Right or Wrong. There is no gray area, no blurring. It is a choice between good and evil. Your argument is for evil and to harm others. You seek a justification to pay a pimp for the opportunity to have sexual relations with another person, and as this thread shows, there are many who seek to justify their behaviour. The likelihood that Thai people do similar is a  weak excuse. One is responsible for one's own personal choices. At some point, the  deck of cards of moral justifications and excuses will collapse.  

If you are so certain of your position, please share with your family and your co-workers (if you work) that you support the use of prostitutes in Thailand. Be sure to share your opinions on costs and criteria for the selection of a Thai prostitute. 

 

[Equatorial]

15 hours ago, cdemundo said:

Some bargirls seem to see the mamasans as I do - money grubbing parasites; but others seem to see them as if they were a revered older relative or something.

 

I don't see a reason to demonize the mamasans. If we set aside moral judgements related to the profession involved, mamasans are no different than people in other management positions - they vary. From money grubbing parasites, all the way to helpful and caring. Most of them of course are somewhere in the middle.

 

15 hours ago, cdemundo said:

In general I don't see any benefit to me from the mamasan.

 

There certainly are (at least can be, with a good mamasan) many benefits to the girls, as is the case with any manager. A good mamasan can also benefit a punter - for example by alerting him that the "girl" he's buying drinks to is not really a girl. Also, mamasans do not get involved with the silly jealousy games that some bar girls love so much, and they can provide useful intel. I've seen things like that with my own eyes. Not often, but I have. 

[Celsius]

On 6/18/2025 at 8:02 PM, MalcolmB said:

She is damn hot, 26 from Burirum province. Friendly, speaks good English, 8 year old daughter lives in Burirum.

 

Those stretchmarks must be really sexy 

[hydraides]

If the girl is 9/10 as you say, she could clear all her 40,000 baht debt easily within a few days / up to week max

 

Unless you mean $40,000 , and if your friend is paying that, well he must be crazy in the head

 

So shes talking nonsense

 

 

[StandardIssue]

Let him get on with it. This way he will get used to paying and paying and paying and paying and then building a house and then getting booted.

[jts-khorat]

On 6/19/2025 at 3:27 AM, NanLaew said:

 

Porn has four letters but.

It actually only has two...

[mangkut70]

the "drinking friend" should get used to fork out larger sums for the girl anyway. 

I figure she - and more importantly her family - got accustomed to the money she can make from multiple customers (her bar salary plus all the STs, LTs, online Bfs sending money etc.)   while she is in the business.

 

If he indeed takes her out of the bar, he puts himself basically in the position of the only customer and gotta "take care" and pay up for everything. So, IMO paying the inflated farewell bar fine is not the problem because it's small money compared to the big permanent deal.

 

It’s a long time ago, call it a former life, I've met a gorgeous Agogo girl and we became special friends with benefits. GFE was the term. She kept working, i did not mind. Well,  I simply would not have been able to provide the amount she needed for her family. But it was amazing how many sources of income she had beside her daily activities. Several guys she previously met, online via email - all believed they would be the only one and sending money to keep her out of the bar-life. 

 

So, unless your drinking buddy can stay with the girl 24/7 and control the money flow and her activities, I guess he will be just one of the many.

Some of the girls want to get out, become a good wife, getting kids with her farang etc. but most would not. There is so much more money to be made in the business if you are young, hot and sexy.

 

 

 

[actonion]

23 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Those days are finished with international free video calls. 
 

who's talking about video calls

[cdemundo]

12 hours ago, Equatorial said:

 

I don't see a reason to demonize the mamasans. If we set aside moral judgements related to the profession involved, mamasans are no different than people in other management positions - they vary. From money grubbing parasites, all the way to helpful and caring. Most of them of course are somewhere in the middle.

 

 

There certainly are (at least can be, with a good mamasan) many benefits to the girls, as is the case with any manager. A good mamasan can also benefit a punter - for example by alerting him that the "girl" he's buying drinks to is not really a girl. Also, mamasans do not get involved with the silly jealousy games that some bar girls love so much, and they can provide useful intel. I've seen things like that with my own eyes. Not often, but I have. 

"I don't see a reason to demonize the mamasans. "

 

You are of course right that the mamasans have their place and serve a purpose.

 

I don't mean to attack all the mamasans. Some obviously take extreme advantage of the naive girls, and by that I mean they make them kick back more than is customary in the bar scene. But that is not really an issue that impacts me.

 

The ones I don't like are the mamasans who show up when I am buying drinks for a girl and try and squeeze drinks and tips out of me. I would almost never give them but sometimes the girls makes it clear it will be bad for them if I don't. 

That is the point where I feel the mamasan is doing nothing for me and expecting drinks and or tips.

[khunPer]

On 6/19/2025 at 2:02 AM, MalcolmB said:

Why can’t she just quit like at any other job? 

She can walk out, if she so wish. But, she might have obligations to the mama san – if what she say about money and getting started is true – and she might (also) get a split on the final bar-fine. It's not umcommon that there is a (kind of voluntary) sum to be paid, and prices might have increased to 50k baht...

 

Also worth to remember that a 58 year old man might not find love only from 26 year old stunning lade – even she is a single mom – she might first of all need for a stady provider for her and her 8 year old daughter, and also the lottery ticket for an upgraded better future. However, it can be win-win and work well – and love can grow in a benefitial relationship...

[cdemundo]

On 6/19/2025 at 8:08 AM, frank83628 said:

Why on earth do you old guys think these girls like you

Why on earth do they like you?

 

World wide women like men for different reasons, but underlying them all is money and prestige.

The payments may be structured differently but money (and other material things, jewelry, real estate) are always the foundation.

Materialism is clearly the basis of love and marriage in the US, (I can't speak for other countries), usually starting with the extravagant wedding, buying a house and paying the mortgage for 20 to 30 years and then doing the right thing and dying first so she can collect the life insurance.

[thesetat]

On 6/19/2025 at 7:06 AM, BritManToo said:

Because she's a scammer, trying to extort money.

Which gives the guy a good warning.

i would have to agree on this... the girl could and would if  she really wanted to, leave and never return. It is surely a scam to get more money from you. Either from the bar threatening her or her scamming you. The scam is surely there. The bar helps every single woman that enters there for work with the basics they need to keep their job. It was paid back with her work 100% sure. These are the incentives used by the bar to get you to leave your home and come there. The girl may feel threatened by the bar but there is no contract demanding she stay there for a certain amount of time so she can leave if she wants to. Just pack her few things and never return. Bar fine her one day and never allow her to return. 

It is a good possibility that the girl herself is scamming you as well. She is a bar girl though. Even if you end up giving the bar money there is about an 80% chance the bar will give it to her or a large portion of it. Beware. 

You are talking about dropping 90,000 baht on a woman you can not be sure will stay with you more than a month. Then return to work at the bar. I am sure she says she loves you and wants you always and is so sweet to you. But if she is doing her job well at the bar then she has learned how to do this anyway to get customers. You are the handsome man with a big wallet. 

 

[Thingamabob]

It's not a scam, it's an up front request for money. Not that unusual. If your drinking friend doesn't want to pay tell him to just walk away.

[Maestro]

17 hours ago, NanLaew said:

...Thai language doesn't follow the syllablic convention of the Roman language. When they say Porn, they say Paw-n, not Pon.

 

QED. Thank you for your confirmation 

[Jack Hammer]

On 6/19/2025 at 2:24 PM, grain said:

Mamasan gave her the job means nothing, pretty well every bar in Thailand is looking for fresh gals all the time. 

Accommodation means a folding mattress on the floor in an upstairs room with a fan and shared by 3,4,5 other gals. 

Lent her money, bought her clothes etc is pure BS, at the very most mamasan would have possibly paid for a couple of days grub until the gal got some cash through LDs or barfines. 

Of course she can quit and walk away at a moment's notice. As already pointed out here the only repercussion would be the gal would not be welcome back to work in that particular bar again should her relationship with the customer fail. But there are about 50 zillion other bars around the country she can go to. 

Is this standard? Yeah, pretty well, It's just the mamasan and bar owner trying to get a piece of the pie. 

In my opinion bar fines and paying the mamasan to allow  the person to leave  employment as a bar girl is human trafficking and modern slavery 

[jerrytr]

On 6/19/2025 at 8:51 AM, MalcolmB said:

Has anyone ever heard of anyone paying this before?

The bar seems to think it is standard process.

 

The girl is a 9 and the bars main attraction.

The other girls are sort of 6’s

Yup I heard infact am with one for 7 months & she walked. Her family is very proud of her, and no I don't support them. When we stop there I take everyone out to dinner because compared to home it's a bargain here. No regrets & everyone's happy so far. 

[michaellee]

On 6/19/2025 at 7:02 AM, MalcolmB said:

I have a “drinking friend” who lives in the UK who has found “true love” in the bar.

He is 58, divorced and seems fairly well off.

She is damn hot, 26 from Burirum province. Friendly, speaks good English, 8 year old daughter lives in Burirum.

He plans to come to Thailand 2-3 times per year. 
She claims to have about 40,000 in debts with crazy interest which is why she is working the bar.

He is going to pay these debts so she can go back to live with her kid in Burirum, and she can get a normal job and he will top up her salary if needed. 
Everyone happy.

 

Except now the bar is demanding 50,000 baht from him so she can go”retire” from the bar. 
And she is agreeing with the Mamasan. “Justified” because Mamasan gave her the job, accommodation, lent her money, bought her clothes etc

It is getting ugly.
He is refusing. Mamasan isn’t budging. 
 

Why can’t she just quit like at any other job? 
Interested to hear views from other bar owners.

Is this standard or are they taking the pi55?

 

 

 

 

[michaellee]

Run as fast as you can!!!  Shes a scammer and do not believe a word she says. In debt 40k DO NOT PAY A DIME!! Your friend will regret it its all BS shes in debt thats why shes working bar!  Shes a hardcore W been in the bar for atleast 5 years! She could just quit her job n go back to Buriram without paying anything. Shes scamming your friend along with mamasan, the W will get some cut from the mamasan. DO NOT PAY dont let your small head control over your big head RUN RUN RUN

[wensiensheng]

On 6/19/2025 at 7:02 AM, MalcolmB said:

I have a “drinking friend” who lives in the UK who has found “true love” in the bar.

He is 58, divorced and seems fairly well off.

She is damn hot, 26 from Burirum province. Friendly, speaks good English, 8 year old daughter lives in Burirum.

He plans to come to Thailand 2-3 times per year. 
She claims to have about 40,000 in debts with crazy interest which is why she is working the bar.

He is going to pay these debts so she can go back to live with her kid in Burirum, and she can get a normal job and he will top up her salary if needed. 
Everyone happy.

 

Except now the bar is demanding 50,000 baht from him so she can go”retire” from the bar. 
And she is agreeing with the Mamasan. “Justified” because Mamasan gave her the job, accommodation, lent her money, bought her clothes etc

It is getting ugly.
He is refusing. Mamasan isn’t budging. 
 

Why can’t she just quit like at any other job? 
Interested to hear views from other bar owners.

Is this standard or are they taking the pi55?

 

 

 

The price differs and 50k is very high, but yes, there seems to be a custom that the bar gets a pay off if a farang takes a girl out of the bar. Kind of a sin sot type of deal.

 

Of course, it’s not a legal requirement but the girl will want it paid in case the farang drops her and she has to go back to work.

[Andycoops]

Got to laugh at the idiocy of these people, he won't be the last to fall for it the Muppet.

 

Suggest he goes and has some therapy in a institution.

[KhaoHom]

1 She can quit. This is a scam older than she is. She's not an indentured sex slave lol. If she's hot she could tell them to F off and they would still take her back come high season

 

2 Barfine is real assuming the bar is paying girls 400 day. If not - scam. Usually the pay nothing but provide a float.

 

3 Drinks girls / semi freelancers. This is a scam. They draw no money from the bar so the quid pro quo is more like the bar girl pays the bar on proceeds of barfines and drinks to freelance in the bar. I'd call it a scam.

 

4 Staff are paid slave wages, but they are paid. Usually it's 300b day plus tips. Especially here the bar loses. Imagine if 6 of 10 staff were not serving customers. That's a problem.

 

 

 

Incidentally, many of the bars on soi 4 have booted all the grannies and many drinks girls. Of course, it's also low season - but the older women nagging 200b drinks to ask you standard questions about your hall-ee-day are gone

[hotsun]

Easy to find a 9 without kids and not working in a bar, just use your head. The big one