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No male Thai friends after years of living here? Help for the lonely farangs left out.

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6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've made several pals on AN, mostly dead now.

Bit tired of my pals dying on me.

It is an incredibly rude thing to do, and I always seem to resent my friends when they buy the farm and depart this world. 

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  • SAFETY FIRST
    SAFETY FIRST

    This guy Nailed it in the first minute.      Most of the foreigners here are too argumentative, not easy going and don't get along with other people.   Bingo 😂  

  • richard_smith237
    richard_smith237

    It’s a curious thing – I can’t imagine living in a country and not forming genuine friendships with the locals - but its not something that can be forced, building a friendship has to be an organic pr

  • Many of the regular posters here are either fake or suffering from some kind of mental imbalance. You don't ever see any kind of balance in their behaviour. It's almost always one sided. Like, fo

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've made several pals on AN, mostly dead now.

Bit tired of my pals dying on me.

Make friends with younger people.

1 hour ago, Atlantic0077 said:

Why would a decent Thai want to be friends with a farang? Seriously.

Lots of muay thai guys have farang friends 

1 hour ago, Atlantic0077 said:

Why would a decent Thai want to be friends with a farang? Seriously.

I'm good friends with a lawyer 

On 7/3/2025 at 1:29 PM, MalcolmB said:

A common theme on this forum is farangs who can’t make any male Thai friends. 

Considering how friendly Thais are you need to blame yourself, not the Thais.

So this self help video is for you. 

 

Don’t say “I don’t like Thai men anyway”. That’s just a natural reaction to being socially isolated.

 

Good luck.

 

 

If you live more or less in soi 6.......you won't want to have male friends there I suppose

On 7/3/2025 at 1:17 AM, richard_smith237 said:

It’s a curious thing – I can’t imagine living in a country and not forming genuine friendships with the locals - but its not something that can be forced, building a friendship has to be an organic process.

 

One of my closest friends of over 20 years is Thai.

I’ve played on Thai football teams, made strong friendships along the way, and spent countless nights out together. Later, when married, those nights turned into shared holidays – first as couples, and eventually with our families. Dinners, trips, everyday life... it all blended into something very natural and normal.

 

 

Many of my Western friends here have also built close relationships with Thai friends, and through them, there’s been a kind of social overlap – I've ended up becoming friends with their Thai mates too.

 

The majority of Westerners I know who've spent any meaningful amount of time here have integrated to a degree, forging authentic, everyday friendships.

 

A key factor, I’ve noticed, is having a similar socio-economic and educational background. When that alignment’s there, there's simply more common ground.... from language and humour to shared cultural references and values.

 

 

That said, I’m not likely to be knocking back Lao Khao and getting legless with the win-motorbike lads on the corner - I see Thai males from that 'different' demographic as being somewhat more risky especially when alcohol is included - I think many would say the same thing.

 

 

I remember one Westerner telling me he’s never met a Thai guy who didn’t want something from him – usually money. And while that might be his experience, I suspect it's more a reflection of crossing social strata than anything inherently cultural.

 

 

Then there are the added 'friendships' that a more like acquaintances through common ground, such as parents of children's school friends....  We've holidayed, had dinners etc and there is a lot of common ground though true friendships have not developed.

 

 

There is also an added facet to friendships, and I think it holds across all cultures and nationality - thats Age... Its far easier to develop friendships when younger. 

When older we are perhaps more cautious of new people, more guarded, and socialise less which reduces opportunity.

 

More likely the cultural and language barriers.  People make friends when they understand each other's culture and mutually adopt certain values from each other.  

On 7/3/2025 at 2:25 PM, Prubangboy said:

I just don’t get any feeling that they’re all that into me. 
 

That’s why I’m mostly hang out by myself.

 

At least I’m into me.

My experience is that when having a Thai friend, they eventually use the friendship to get something from you. Borrow money or help their family. The friendship is not real. 

On another note, the man in the video is clearly gay or ladyboy. Those types are outgoing and friendly to anyone and everyone. They are ignorant to a mans experience to make friends. 

The only true friend I have is the one I see in the mirror all the rest are acquaintances regardless of nationality 

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I was riding (motorcycle) with 3 Thai aquaintances a few years back when we stopped to pay the fee to enter a national park. The fee was 30 Baht per Thai and 300 Baht for a foreigner. When they heard this they were shocked and remonstrated with the guy that I had lived in Thailand for years and should pay only 30 Baht. They were pretty angry and started shouting at the man. He wouldn't budge. In the end they decided not to pay any fees and we went the long way to avoid cutting through the Park.

 

Now these guys weren't really my friends, we were just riding together, but they stuck up for me because I was part of their group. 

I have thai male friends, the secret to it is not associating with them constantly, same with non thai friends, I have found that problems generally arise when in constant contact when expectations become dominant. I have found that all of my wifes friends are very easy to get along with, we dont see them often and that makes meeting them a lot more enjoyable, even in Australia while I had many friends I wasnt in their pockets, I enjoy doing my own thing, I dont have to be around them all the time to feel included. 

Friendship is what you make it,  I treat others the way I expect to be treated, when I see my friends(thai/non thai) I have a big smile on my face and am very jovial around them, not seeing them all the time makes meeting them a lot more positive. Friendship doesnt mean having to be around them all the time, if you are unable to be happy  without being around others then the problem is with you, making friends is easy if you have the right attitude, really all depends if the ones you are trying to be friendly with want you around them. It is what you do or say, even expect that can cause problems, look at yourself before saying you cant make any friends, get a hobby or find something that you enjoy doing by yourself, dont just rely on others to make your life enjoyable.

One doesn't NEED friends! in the true sense of that word!  

 

Being friendly, never combative,  at all times towards others whoever they are and for them to be friendly in return is good for me.

 

I know many Thai people young and old and just about all of them are of the kind that echo my feelings!

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As soon as I saw the author, I realised the story was just BS...no friends Thai or farang.

On 7/3/2025 at 1:29 PM, MalcolmB said:

A common theme on this forum is farangs who can’t make any male Thai friends. 

Considering how friendly Thais are you need to blame yourself, not the Thais.

So this self help video is for you. 

 

Don’t say “I don’t like Thai men anyway”. That’s just a natural reaction to being socially isolated.

 

Good luck.

 

 

My best and most supportive friends here are Thai.  That includes my best female friends as well as my best male friends.  I do have many non-Thai acquaintances of both genders but the men and women I can count on are all Thai. 

I have a Thai guy who sets appointments for my maid and gardener to come. Does that count? We're in touch regularly on Whatsapp. 

1 minute ago, Aussie999 said:

As soon as I saw the author, I realised the story was just BS...no friends Thai or farang.

Yep, well spotted....................🤗

 

On 7/4/2025 at 2:39 PM, Harrisfan said:

Lots of muay thai guys have farang friends 

How do you know.......?  :ermm:

On 7/3/2025 at 3:40 PM, KhunLA said:

After about 20 yrs old, I really had no desire or need for male friends.  Not saying I didn't have any, by that time, or met new ones, especially last company I worked for, but didn't really spend much time with any males.

 

Not into sports, or talking about females conquests, so no real common interests.  Some good diving buddies, or a few to smoke doobies and sip few with, but nobody I'd see on even a weekly or monthly basis.

 

Not fluent in Thai, and most locals over 40 or 50 yrs old, aren't really fluent in English, so that language barrier is there.  Don't have too much in common with younger generation.

In all my years in Thailand I've had very limited friendships with Thai males, I think it boils down to not really having anything in common with them. The big exception are the musicians, I've had several pretty good friendships with Thai musos over the years. On the whole they're a nice bunch of guys and we had lots of things to discuss, common interests in music.

  • Author
1 hour ago, transam said:

Yep, well spotted....................🤗

 

Hi Scott

  • Author
1 minute ago, transam said:

Hi Rob.......:ninja:

Thanks for lol your posts on my thread.

But you still haven’t told us, do you have any thai mates?

Just now, MalcolmB said:

Thanks for lol your posts on my thread.

But you still haven’t told us, do you have any thai mates?

None of a weird blokes business..........:ermm:

How did the school watch go today, do you go in disguise......?   🤭

  • Author
1 minute ago, transam said:

None of a weird blokes business.

I didn’t think so. 
Loser

5 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

I didn’t think so. 
Loser

On here, a loser is one that continuously gets buried.

One also does not give any information to you, you keep files on us, you told us so...........:coffee1:

 

 

1 hour ago, transam said:

How do you know.......?  :ermm:

HF knows everything about everybody and everything, or so it believes!

I've been in Thailand for years with so-so Thai language ability and Just recently had one Thai guy that I would consider a friend in any real capacity.  Compared to my 2nd week living in Vietnam I made multiple "real" friends with local Vietnamese guys even with little in common interests, hobbies, time spent in the country or language ability with my non existent Vietnamese and their somewhat poor English ability.  They've gone out their way to help me out with favors with and without asking, take a genuine interest in me, who I can hang out like friends back home just chilling over a beer or two everyday/night.  They have refused to take money or expect anything in return the majority of time even when they done something valuable for me and rightly deserve something for it.  Anything I manage them to take they're very grateful and appreciate of and not ask for more or expect the next time.  This includes other nationalities like Russian, Mexican, Nigerian, Colombian, etc I've easily became good friends in a short period with during my travels and they would all be welcomed into my home and me into theres like family. 

 

Thai guys, who I absolutely no problem with and get along quite well with the vast majority I've come in contact with from all social standings (although mostly from lower to mid), the rudest thing or biggest conflict is sometimes being ignored or seeing them disinterested with interacting but majority of the time its big smiles and pleasantries.  I havent really been able to make a connection with or would be able to rely on them for something thats not some kind of transaction or reciprocal altruism.  Unless we have a common interest or activity like fitness, muay thai, motorcycles, we just dont seem to really click although I think the language barrier is still the biggest obstacle.  Theres other factors at play, I think thats just how it is.  Nothing against them personally no animosity.  I do like and admire their personality and disposition of Thai males. And of Thai people in general, some of my favorite people in the world, the ladies in particular of course.

35+ years of living in Thailand and farang and a Thai being mates are not workable, culture, language, taste, 

coming from completely two different worlds barriers will not make such friendship workable.

I have 4 Thai friends. They are city guys and very western in their outlook at least publicly. Not counting European mates with Thai passports

On 7/3/2025 at 1:29 PM, MalcolmB said:

A common theme on this forum is farangs who can’t make any male Thai friends. 

Considering how friendly Thais are you need to blame yourself, not the Thais.

So this self help video is for you. 

 

Don’t say “I don’t like Thai men anyway”. That’s just a natural reaction to being socially isolated.

 

Good luck.

 

 

Consider yourself fortunate that you don't have Thai male friends. If so, you would only be opening yourself up to trouble and grief. Loyalty and honesty are foreign words to them, generally speaking of course. The odds are not in your favor that anything good would come of such a relationship. 

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