The “Good Guy” Foreigner in Thailand: Is It Always Pure Altruism?

[SoCal1990]

Some foreigners in Thailand go out of their way to present themselves as the “good guy.” They distance themselves from tourists, sexpats, drunks, cheap charlies, and other long-stayers, proudly talking about how they’ve fully integrated. They support their Thai partner’s family, cover expenses, donate to temples, or “give back” to the community in other ways.

 

Maybe it’s all sincere. Maybe they’re genuinely trying to be respectful and do the right thing in a country that isn’t their own. But sometimes, it starts to seem performative. Like being the “good farang” becomes part of their identity and something they want others to recognize.

 

So where’s the line between doing good and just playing the role of the knight in shining armor? Does it actually help others, or is it just another way to feel morally superior to the rest?

[KhaoHom]

Does it matter?

[save the frogs]

11 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Does it actually help others, or is it just another way to feel morally superior to the rest?

 

I think some people have criticized Mother Theresa of doing her charity work to be morally superior.

 

I give 20 Baht to a disabled guy down the street every time I see him. He gets money for food. I don't think he will psychoanalyze my motivations. 

 

[Quentin Zen]

met a clown sexpat about.a decade ago and he was sooooo mad that my friend (farang) was going to the bars.  bringing back a different girl all the time.  very judgmental (It's great online, but in person it's much trickier) and blah, blah, blah...   well, over a decade ago I wouldn't mind going to the girlie dance bars.    

 

and guess who we see there????  if it isn't Mr. Judgy!!!  He sees us and runs out.   lol

 

 

[BritManToo]

Why do you think so much about other foreigners?

Is it only white western foreigners you think about or do you include Indians, Arabs, and Chinese foreigners in your thinking?

 

Quite frankly you seem a bit odd.

[novacova]

1 hour ago, SoCal1990 said:

Does it actually help others, or is it just another way to feel morally superior to the rest?

Again, nobody cares but you.
OMF by any chance? Quite the resemblance you got there.

[billd766]

2 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Some foreigners in Thailand go out of their way to present themselves as the “good guy.” They distance themselves from tourists, sexpats, drunks, cheap charlies, and other long-stayers, proudly talking about how they’ve fully integrated. They support their Thai partner’s family, cover expenses, donate to temples, or “give back” to the community in other ways.

 

Maybe it’s all sincere. Maybe they’re genuinely trying to be respectful and do the right thing in a country that isn’t their own. But sometimes, it starts to seem performative. Like being the “good farang” becomes part of their identity and something they want others to recognize.

 

So where’s the line between doing good and just playing the role of the knight in shining armor? Does it actually help others, or is it just another way to feel morally superior to the rest?

And your problem with that, is what exactly?

 

Most expats here are good guys.

 

They obey the laws of Thailand, do their 90 day reports and keep their current visa extension correct. They generally drive better than most Thais. They support their

 

Thai families as they would in their own countries, so what?

 

Don't you?

 

My wife's parents died a while ago, we have nothing to do with her elder brother, her younger brother, his wife and their son all have jobs, and we help each other out when necessary. Her middle brother lives with us as nobody else in the family wants him.

[0ffshore360]

2 hours ago, save the frogs said:

 

I think some people have criticized Mother Theresa of doing her charity work to be morally superior.

 

I give 20 Baht to a disabled guy down the street every time I see him. He gets money for food. I don't think he will psychoanalyze my motivations. 

 

If you took a look at why there is some negatives to Mother Theresa  it might not be much better than your 20 Bht  proclamation of some virtue in unexplained motivations.

I try to support where I estimate support is justified.

By that I mean I hesitate to be generous to those who have put themselves in apparent need rather than have been genuinely accidentily put in need.

However I think that those foreigners who have come with the mindset that has failed them in place of origin can too often overcompensate by "playing" Mr Nice Guy" while thinking Thai are so gullible and automatically ever so grateful.

There are many colors to social Face that foreigners fail to even try to comprehend most of the time.

Imported culturally indoctrinated cultural expectations  mostly fuel angst and depression ! From and for positive or negative outcome.

Be an amicable  witness !

 

 

BIG  mistake. 

 

 

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

We get points for it - 

 

you can use it towards your visa or a new set of clothes at your local tailor shop. 

[Harrisfan]

4 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Some foreigners in Thailand go out of their way to present themselves as the “good guy.” They distance themselves from tourists, sexpats, drunks, cheap charlies, and other long-stayers, proudly talking about how they’ve fully integrated. They support their Thai partner’s family, cover expenses, donate to temples, or “give back” to the community in other ways.

 

Maybe it’s all sincere. Maybe they’re genuinely trying to be respectful and do the right thing in a country that isn’t their own. But sometimes, it starts to seem performative. Like being the “good farang” becomes part of their identity and something they want others to recognize.

 

So where’s the line between doing good and just playing the role of the knight in shining armor? Does it actually help others, or is it just another way to feel morally superior to the rest?

Don't you have anything else to do?

[proton]

The OP seems like Lewie Light, here since June constantly posts pointless traffic fishing threads.

[Harrisfan]

2 minutes ago, proton said:

The OP seems like Lewie Light, here since June constantly posts pointless traffic fishing threads.

Sounds the same to me.

[atpeace]

My younger self did it for many reasons and at times it was to improve my status.  Now I do it because it makes me feel good and I try to do it semi anonymously.  My wife always knows but doesn't announce it.  Nothing too large because I'm not loaded but 7k for a new roof recently and paying for poor kids to have pizza or whatever at our place.  I probably should give more and I live near some very poor villages that are mostly Lao.  Maybe this year 🙂

 

Wife has her own money so I think people think she is paying.  Not sure about this - maybe they think it is me.    Don't have to deal with the uncomfortable meeting with the families.  That is probably the best part. I heard on the morning village loudspeakers  yesterday that my wife donated money for something and that is what I no longer need or want.   I probably in some sense want the family to know I contributed but prefer avoiding the uncomfortable meeting to thank me.

[Celsius]

Your AI is much better than Bob's

[atpeace]

Just now, Celsius said:

Your AI is much better than Bob's

Oh Celcius. How cute.  Having the normal bad angry day.  Cheer up 🙂

[short-Timer]

4 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Don't you have anything else to do?

Oh, look, it’s the site’s premier low-budget troll, clocking 16-hour shifts like a digital hermit, even skulking in the shadows when your posting privileges get yanked. You churn out endless streams of drivel, racking up thumbs-down like it’s an Olympic sport, yet you have the gall to ask if someone else has anything else to do? Your marathon sessions on this site scream one thing: you’ve got nothing going on. Ever considered reading a book, learning a skill, or even just stepping out of your mum's basement for a breath of fresh air?

[JAG]

Mind your own business.

 

Your constant attempts to probe into other people's lives are both weird and tedious.

[Dan747]

Most Foreign Expat's I know in Thailand are "GOOD GUYS!"

[Gaccha]

14 hours ago, save the frogs said:

I think some people have criticized Mother Theresa of doing her charity work to be morally superior.

 

She was evil. Allowing people to suffer horrifying pain in dying so they would feel closer to God. And yet for her death she made sure to receive all the desirable painkillers. 

 

[save the frogs]

11 hours ago, Gaccha said:

 

She was evil. Allowing people to suffer horrifying pain in dying so they would feel closer to God. And yet for her death she made sure to receive all the desirable painkillers. 

 

 

Christopher Hitchens is con man.

And what a crass book title. 

 

 

 

[likerdup]

16 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Some foreigners in Thailand go out of their way to present themselves as the “good guy.” They distance themselves from tourists, sexpats, drunks, cheap charlies, and other long-stayers, proudly talking about how they’ve fully integrated. They support their Thai partner’s family, cover expenses, donate to temples, or “give back” to the community in other ways.

 

Maybe it’s all sincere. Maybe they’re genuinely trying to be respectful and do the right thing in a country that isn’t their own. But sometimes, it starts to seem performative. Like being the “good farang” becomes part of their identity and something they want others to recognize.

 

So where’s the line between doing good and just playing the role of the knight in shining armor? Does it actually help others, or is it just another way to feel morally superior to the rest?

 

Maybe you're feeling guilty? There are a number of orphanages, street children centers and the like where one can do some good rather than wither away the hours in a beer bar.

 

If you'd like to help Thai people it's a good way to show respect and honor them.  Many expats have enjoyed the easy life rather than a tough one back in their western home country due to the hard work of many less than fortunate Thai people.

[Harrisfan]

17 hours ago, save the frogs said:

 

I think some people have criticized Mother Theresa of doing her charity work to be morally superior.

 

I give 20 Baht to a disabled guy down the street every time I see him. He gets money for food. I don't think he will psychoanalyze my motivations. 

 

World is full of narcs. I blame bad genes and explorer culture.

[Harrisfan]

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

 

Christopher Hitchens is con man.

And what a crass book title. 

 

 

 

He's dead.

[Felton Jarvis]

There is no such thing as "pure altruism".  I like the way I feel about myself when I do a good deed with no expectation of a return. Just human nature.

[VocalNeal]

 I like the way I feel about myself when I do a good deed with no expectation of a return. Just Hash House Harriers

[Felton Jarvis]

22 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

 I like the way I feel about myself when I do a good deed with no expectation of a return. Just Hash House Harriers

A truly bizarre non-sequitur. Get help.

[ravip]

So where’s the line between doing good and just playing the role of the knight in shining armor?

 

Just act normal. Extend a hand when you see help is needed. Don't make a drama of everything you do to help others - do it, and forget it.

 

Try not to analyze everything others do. Best is to mind your own business - if you don't like to help, just don't - avoid judging others acts that don't concern you.

 

"Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing" 

 

[FolkGuitar]

I’m always impressed by people who post:

”I attended a wonderful Charity function at ….”  rather than saying ‘ I attended a  wonderful function at…’
They have to tell us how charitable they are. 

[billd766]

5 hours ago, Dan747 said:

Most Foreign Expat's I know in Thailand are "GOOD GUYS!"

Plus 1 more.