So yesterday I popped over to me mate Simon’s flat in Pathumnak for a few cold bevvies, yeah. Just the usual, kickin’ back, natterin’ about all the rubbish in the world, the sun goin’ down outside, when I clocked it. Sitting there in the corner like some silent wizard, Simon’s bloody robo-vac. Now I’ve seen these units before, bangin' into everything, dumb as they come, but this… this was next level, mates.

 

I’m not jokin’. In one hour, this clever little bugger had mopped and vacuumed the entire 100 square metre flat, all in one session, without needing' to recharge or plowin’ into anyone's missus, and none of that daft retracing its own steps either. Nah, proper smart-like. And every ten minutes, mind you, it’d zip back to the base, wash the mop pads like a tiny OCD janitor, then two minutes later it’s back out again for another go, mop dry and ready, gettin’ every speck of dust like it had eyes in the back of its arse.

 

And when it finished? Back to the base again, dustbin emptied, mop pads scrubbed, battery recharged, and then for three hours the fans kept them mopheads spinnin’ dry. I’m tellin’ you, mate, I’ve seen a lot in me time, but watchin’ that little thing do it's business was poetry in motion, pure bloody wizardry. Honestly, I sat there with a pint in me hand thinkin’, how the feck did they cram all that genius into one tiny bit of plastic? Mental.

 

And the kicker, lads? The little sod wasn’t kickin’ about like it was doin’ much at all, but when you stepped back, the floor was cleaner than a bishop’s conscience on Sunday mornin’. And the noggin on this thing, honestly, it’s got the entire flat mapped in its head, knows exactly where it is at every moment, LIDR innit. Spins round every now and again just to check its bearings, and somehow, just somehow, it seems 10X smarter than that oversized orange geezer sleepin' in the White House. 

I'm sure he has the latest Xiaomi X20,  vaccum cleaner robot tucked away someplace. 

Cliffsnotes Version. 

 

You were blown away by Simon’s robot vacuum that cleaned his whole flat flawlessly, washing and drying its own mop pads, mapping the space with LiDAR, and leaving the place spotless like pure wizardry.

did you pick up the robo vac and see if it would suck your penis like an old school hoover ?

I am waiting for the 36-23-36 version, with extra suction.

6 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I am waiting for the 36-23-36 version, with extra suction.

you like big butts ?

2 hours ago, LL 2.0 said:

So yesterday I popped over to me mate Simon’s flat in Pathumnak for a few cold bevvies, yeah. Just the usual, kickin’ back, natterin’ about all the rubbish in the world, the sun goin’ down outside, when I clocked it. Sitting there in the corner like some silent wizard, Simon’s bloody robo-vac. Now I’ve seen these units before, bangin' into everything, dumb as they come, but this… this was next level, mates.

 

I’m not jokin’. In one hour, this clever little bugger had mopped and vacuumed the entire 100 square metre flat, all in one session, without needing' to recharge or plowin’ into anyone's missus, and none of that daft retracing its own steps either. Nah, proper smart-like. And every ten minutes, mind you, it’d zip back to the base, wash the mop pads like a tiny OCD janitor, then two minutes later it’s back out again for another go, mop dry and ready, gettin’ every speck of dust like it had eyes in the back of its arse.

 

And when it finished? Back to the base again, dustbin emptied, mop pads scrubbed, battery recharged, and then for three hours the fans kept them mopheads spinnin’ dry. I’m tellin’ you, mate, I’ve seen a lot in me time, but watchin’ that little thing do it's business was poetry in motion, pure bloody wizardry. Honestly, I sat there with a pint in me hand thinkin’, how the feck did they cram all that genius into one tiny bit of plastic? Mental.

 

And the kicker, lads? The little sod wasn’t kickin’ about like it was doin’ much at all, but when you stepped back, the floor was cleaner than a bishop’s conscience on Sunday mornin’. And the noggin on this thing, honestly, it’s got the entire flat mapped in its head, knows exactly where it is at every moment, LIDR innit. Spins round every now and again just to check its bearings, and somehow, just somehow, it seems 10X smarter than that oversized orange geezer sleepin' in the White House. 

It is quite easy to be many times smarter than the circus clown. Putin is. Macron is. Carney is. Xi is. Most of us are. 

 

 

Lewie! Too much realism. Where are the flights of fancy?  Bring them back, please!

On another note, where the hell can I buy a cleaner like this?  I'd like to give my wife a break.  Besides, they are a great indoor practice tool for Curling off-season.

 

5 hours ago, LL 2.0 said:

So yesterday I popped over to me mate Simon’s flat in Pathumnak for a few cold bevvies, yeah. Just the usual, kickin’ back, natterin’ about all the rubbish in the world, the sun goin’ down outside, when I clocked it. Sitting there in the corner like some silent wizard, Simon’s bloody robo-vac. Now I’ve seen these units before, bangin' into everything, dumb as they come, but this… this was next level, mates.

 

I’m not jokin’. In one hour, this clever little bugger had mopped and vacuumed the entire 100 square metre flat, all in one session, without needing' to recharge or plowin’ into anyone's missus, and none of that daft retracing its own steps either. Nah, proper smart-like. And every ten minutes, mind you, it’d zip back to the base, wash the mop pads like a tiny OCD janitor, then two minutes later it’s back out again for another go, mop dry and ready, gettin’ every speck of dust like it had eyes in the back of its arse.

 

And when it finished? Back to the base again, dustbin emptied, mop pads scrubbed, battery recharged, and then for three hours the fans kept them mopheads spinnin’ dry. I’m tellin’ you, mate, I’ve seen a lot in me time, but watchin’ that little thing do it's business was poetry in motion, pure bloody wizardry. Honestly, I sat there with a pint in me hand thinkin’, how the feck did they cram all that genius into one tiny bit of plastic? Mental.

 

And the kicker, lads? The little sod wasn’t kickin’ about like it was doin’ much at all, but when you stepped back, the floor was cleaner than a bishop’s conscience on Sunday mornin’. And the noggin on this thing, honestly, it’s got the entire flat mapped in its head, knows exactly where it is at every moment, LIDR innit. Spins round every now and again just to check its bearings, and somehow, just somehow, it seems 10X smarter than that oversized orange geezer sleepin' in the White House. 

Obviously a Joe Biden fan. I can therefore appreciate why you are quite taken with the little robot cleaner. At least the Robo-Vac is quite intelligent at a very bask level which is more than be said for Biden.

3 hours ago, Ralf001 said:

you like big butts ?

I cannot lie...

1 minute ago, NumbNut said:

I cannot lie...

only if she's 5'3".

9 hours ago, LL 2.0 said:

I’m tellin’ you, mate, I’ve seen a lot in me time

 

  "I’ve seen a lot in me time" ............. I am sure that you have Bob ---having 87 different personalities on ASEAN would help a lot with that.

 

But,  you struck it right this time Bob, just associate anything trivial with Trump and you bound to get the Haters all leap up and down and come and give you a star.

No Matter silly the comparison is. 

 

 

Oh look one even put a picture of him there....................  

4 hours ago, Ralf001 said:

4 hours ago, NumbNut said:

I cannot lie...

only if she's 5'3"

 

Even white boys got to shout.