Are Farangs Who Marriages Failed Lucky?

[kat]

Yikes! This thread has gone from bad to worse, eh? Venom rules!

What bugs me is being unfavorably compared to a hooker. It's like being accused of being less understanding than a therapist -- it's not my job to be that nice. I'd be really nice to you too, if you stood between me and a life of hard labor in the rice fields of Issan.

Well, at least you don't gender discriminate when you slam others. I find it interesting that you claim to be standing up for women and complain about how men do not respect them, but then you have written more degrading comments about Thai women than anyone else in this entire thread.

Do you really think that these young Thai women you refer to are not intelligent enough to make their own choices - that they merely run along mindlessly chasing a carrot on a stick?

While you admit to being willing to do that, if you made some of these insinuations to my Isaan wife, it would be advisable for you to take a step or two back. Not only is she seemingly (judging from your writings) a bit more intelligent than you, she would be very upset indeed if you challenged her decision to be with a man 30-years her senior.

Anyway, when you do finally make it over to Thailand, it may be worth your while to take advantage of the relatively inexpensive dental services here and have those fangs removed before you poison someone, eh?

Is it the comment about Thai hookers that has you so bent out of shape? Would you be happier if we referred to first-world hookers, or fat, bitter, old, alimony grubbing white women? Based on your postings here and what you choose to target as offensive, I suspect you would.

I am sorry that you did not understand my post - nor obviously read my previous post in this thread or anything else I have ever written on these forums. In fact if you take the time to read my earlier post, you will find that I said just the opposite. While I have had a few realtionships with 'western women' that did not last forever, I hold absolutely no prejudice against them, nor anyone else, and they remain some of my best friends, and friends of my current wife.

Having grown up with my Mum (my father didn't come back home from WWII) who even now at age 87 is one of the brightest (her IQ is still over double her age) and unprejudiced women I have ever known. Hence most of my closest friends are and have been women and I remain an advocate for their full equality (if not slight superiority).

For me, intelligence has less to do with education than how well we adapt ourselves to the realities of life. "Stupid is as stupid does" is a bit of a cliche but my view is that people who single out groups of people to diss, or spend their lives steeped in anger are demonstrating either a lack, or sad waste of, intelligence.

As I indicated in my post, if you are willing to read it again, degrading remarks also include ignoring the second half of these partnerships that you seem to judge. Vitriolic comments about 'sexpats' (who I do not support) go on and on about how disgusting/stupid/embarrassing they are while their Thai women are largely ignored - and being ignored or simply discounted can be the worst degradation of all. Thai women connect with men of their choice for as many reasons as there are people and they have that right, whether you agree with their decisions or not.

As for my misjudgment of intelligence, many on here are calling those they choose to judge stupid or disgusting but I have to suspect that many of the sexpats or whatever you call them as a group, are highly educated, perhaps even more so than their accusers.

You know what - I think objective reality may hold up a more complex assessment of intelligence other than someone who is willing to sleep or marry you.

Yeah, I get that - and it is simplistic rubbish. If "objective reality" to you gives you the right to trash people you don't even know, I would have to have some serious reservations about your intelligence as well. If there are groups of people you place into classes that you are not comfortable with, don't hang around with them or look the other way when you see them. I sure they would appreciate that far more than your judgmental comments and grimaces.

In over six years with this person who is 'willing to sleep and marry' me, I have never once heard her label any group nor say anything negative about the way individual people choose to live their lives as long as they are no threat to our own lives and how we choose to live.

As they say in Hawaii, "Get one life" - and keep your nose out of other's...

My second wife (deceased) was a Cambodian refugee.

Since I didn't understand a word of Thai or Cambo, I could easily have judged her as an ignorant peasant girl.

Surprise, surprise - she spoke fluent French and had a good convent education.

So we had excellent communication and she learned English quickly too.

Was I proud of her? Dunno, but I loved her dearly and miss her still.

Thanks for the breath of fresh air in this room full of foul fog, gwertz.

Mine left her family's home outside of Chiayaphum in Issan at age sixteen partly because they could not provide her with the education she wanted. During eight years of working at Central Dept Store then waitressing/cooking at a very nice restaurant on Phuket, she not only put herself through school but spent some fifteen years teaching herself English.

My initial impression was that she didn't have much education or knowledge of English because her pronunciation was not that great but it turned out that she just never had many people to practice on/with; but she reads and writes it nearly at my level and has a vocabulary that is nothing less than astounding. She even catches me making mistakes and asks (the <deleted>), "Isn't English your first language?" I reply, "No, I'm an American - I don't have a first language."

I also later discovered that two of her older sisters also put themselves through school, are both registered nurses and between the three of them (and with just a little help from me) have brought the rest of their family up out of the rice fields into what most would call a comfortable middle class existence.

Am I lucky? Proud? Odd terms that I cannot quite relate to but we are both thankful that we found one another and it really pisses me off when I hear bigots writing Thai women off as anything less than people who deserve as much respect as anyone else on this planet.

Prejudice of any kind is an ugly thing...

oh yes, I'm sure you are very oppressed, your Thai wife is a very beautiful, educated genius, who is only outmatched by your own superior and genetically endowed intellect the way nature intended (from your mama no less), who happened to meet a foreign man 30 years her senior, in a city teeming with foreign/Thai relationships with 30-40 year age gaps, and fell in love with him in a matter of seconds at first sight in the restaurant where she worked as a waitress. That is your story isn't it?

You seem to forget that I've been on this forum for awhile now, and have run into your self-victimization/bigotry tactics before. It is also readily available in your post history. If you are so concerned about the oppression of Thai women, why are you the biggest apologist for norms and customs which assure that single women with children have no other chances in this society other than to live outside the margins, or to find a safe, harmless, albeit slightly delusional farang with a pension? I mean, who can <deleted>' blame her - if I had the same dismal chances in life I'd probably do the same thing.

Observation and acknowledgment of a social pattern and norm is not the same as bigotry, but I can understand your need to deflect and make it so. As long as you can turn this around, and make it so that everyone else is disrespectful and bigoted, you never have to confront how your own kindhearted, indulgent, benevolence is really about your own interests, and your own comfort. I hope when your wife leaves on her extended "religious excursions" she finds some comfort of her own.

I almost actually started to feel sorry for you, and was going to leave you alone with your delusions, until you pissed me off. You are such the big defender of the "gentle, magical Thai people", and then promote threads about nudist excursions to Thai beaches. You have no qualms about screeching bigotry and discrimination, but will turn around and promote activities that are deeply offensive to Thai culture, as long as your self interests are satisfied. You are beyond even the worst cliches, and I don't want to waste any more time responding to you.

*edited for typo

Edited August 23, 2007 by kat

[mikethevigoman]

Yikes! This thread has gone from bad to worse, eh? Venom rules!

What bugs me is being unfavorably compared to a hooker. It's like being accused of being less understanding than a therapist -- it's not my job to be that nice. I'd be really nice to you too, if you stood between me and a life of hard labor in the rice fields of Issan.

Well, at least you don't gender discriminate when you slam others. I find it interesting that you claim to be standing up for women and complain about how men do not respect them, but then you have written more degrading comments about Thai women than anyone else in this entire thread.

Do you really think that these young Thai women you refer to are not intelligent enough to make their own choices - that they merely run along mindlessly chasing a carrot on a stick?

While you admit to being willing to do that, if you made some of these insinuations to my Isaan wife, it would be advisable for you to take a step or two back. Not only is she seemingly (judging from your writings) a bit more intelligent than you, she would be very upset indeed if you challenged her decision to be with a man 30-years her senior.

Anyway, when you do finally make it over to Thailand, it may be worth your while to take advantage of the relatively inexpensive dental services here and have those fangs removed before you poison someone, eh?

Is it the comment about Thai hookers that has you so bent out of shape? Would you be happier if we referred to first-world hookers, or fat, bitter, old, alimony grubbing white women? Based on your postings here and what you choose to target as offensive, I suspect you would.

I am sorry that you did not understand my post - nor obviously read my previous post in this thread or anything else I have ever written on these forums. In fact if you take the time to read my earlier post, you will find that I said just the opposite. While I have had a few realtionships with 'western women' that did not last forever, I hold absolutely no prejudice against them, nor anyone else, and they remain some of my best friends, and friends of my current wife.

Having grown up with my Mum (my father didn't come back home from WWII) who even now at age 87 is one of the brightest (her IQ is still over double her age) and unprejudiced women I have ever known. Hence most of my closest friends are and have been women and I remain an advocate for their full equality (if not slight superiority).

For me, intelligence has less to do with education than how well we adapt ourselves to the realities of life. "Stupid is as stupid does" is a bit of a cliche but my view is that people who single out groups of people to diss, or spend their lives steeped in anger are demonstrating either a lack, or sad waste of, intelligence.

As I indicated in my post, if you are willing to read it again, degrading remarks also include ignoring the second half of these partnerships that you seem to judge. Vitriolic comments about 'sexpats' (who I do not support) go on and on about how disgusting/stupid/embarrassing they are while their Thai women are largely ignored - and being ignored or simply discounted can be the worst degradation of all. Thai women connect with men of their choice for as many reasons as there are people and they have that right, whether you agree with their decisions or not.

As for my misjudgment of intelligence, many on here are calling those they choose to judge stupid or disgusting but I have to suspect that many of the sexpats or whatever you call them as a group, are highly educated, perhaps even more so than their accusers.

You know what - I think objective reality may hold up a more complex assessment of intelligence other than someone who is willing to sleep or marry you.

Yeah, I get that - and it is simplistic rubbish. If "objective reality" to you gives you the right to trash people you don't even know, I would have to have some serious reservations about your intelligence as well. If there are groups of people you place into classes that you are not comfortable with, don't hang around with them or look the other way when you see them. I sure they would appreciate that far more than your judgmental comments and grimaces.

In over six years with this person who is 'willing to sleep and marry' me, I have never once heard her label any group nor say anything negative about the way individual people choose to live their lives as long as they are no threat to our own lives and how we choose to live.

As they say in Hawaii, "Get one life" - and keep your nose out of other's...

My second wife (deceased) was a Cambodian refugee.

Since I didn't understand a word of Thai or Cambo, I could easily have judged her as an ignorant peasant girl.

Surprise, surprise - she spoke fluent French and had a good convent education.

So we had excellent communication and she learned English quickly too.

Was I proud of her? Dunno, but I loved her dearly and miss her still.

Thanks for the breath of fresh air in this room full of foul fog, gwertz.

Mine left her family's home outside of Chiayaphum in Issan at age sixteen partly because they could not provide her with the education she wanted. During eight years of working at Central Dept Store then waitressing/cooking at a very nice restaurant on Phuket, she not only put herself through school but spent some fifteen years teaching herself English.

My initial impression was that she didn't have much education or knowledge of English because her pronunciation was not that great but it turned out that she just never had many people to practice on/with; but she reads and writes it nearly at my level and has a vocabulary that is nothing less than astounding. She even catches me making mistakes and asks (the <deleted>), "Isn't English your first language?" I reply, "No, I'm an American - I don't have a first language."

I also later discovered that two of her older sisters also put themselves through school, are both registered nurses and between the three of them (and with just a little help from me) have brought the rest of their family up out of the rice fields into what most would call a comfortable middle class existence.

Am I lucky? Proud? Odd terms that I cannot quite relate to but we are both thankful that we found one another and it really pisses me off when I hear bigots writing Thai women off as anything less than people who deserve as much respect as anyone else on this planet.

Prejudice of any kind is an ugly thing...

oh yes, I'm sure you are very oppressed, your Thai wife is a very beautiful, educated genius, who is only outmatched by your own superior and genetically endowed intellect the way nature intended (from your mama no less), who happened to meet a foreign man 30 years her senior, in a city teeming with foreign/Thai relationships with 30-40 year age gaps, and fell in love with him in a matter of seconds at first sight in the restaurant where she worked as a waitress. That is your story isn't it?

You seem to forget that I've been on this forum for awhile now, and have run into your self-victimization/bigotry tactics before. It is also readily available in your post history. If you are so concerned about the oppression of Thai women, why are you the biggest apologist for norms and customs which assure that single women with children have no other chances in this society other than to live outside the margins, or to find a safe, harmless, albeit slightly delusional farang with a pension? I mean, who can <deleted>' blame her - if I had the same dismal chances in life I'd probably do the same thing.

Observation and acknowledgment of a social pattern and norm is not the same as bigotry, but I can understand your need to deflect and make it so. As long as you can turn this around, and make it so that everyone else is disrespectful and bigoted, you never have to confront how your own kindhearted, indulgent, benevolence is really about your own interests, and your own comfort. I hope when your wife leaves on her extended "religious excursions" she finds some comfort of her own.

I almost actually started to feel sorry for you, and was going to leave you alone with your delusions, until you pissed me off. You are such the big defender of the "gentle, magical Thai people", and then promote threads about nudist excursions to Thai beaches. You have no qualms about screeching bigotry and discrimination, but will turn around and promote activities that are deeply offensive to Thai culture, as long as your self interests are satisfied. You are beyond even the worse cliches, and I don't want to waste any more time responding to you.

*edited for typo

Are you a single woman ?

[anon345535]

apart from hello kitty and david beckham, what do you talk about to a 22 year old thai girl?

[canadiangirl]

(snipped something like 10 pages of text )

Are you a single woman ?

Do you know how to use a delete key? Sheesh.

[mikethevigoman]

(snipped something like 10 pages of text )

Are you a single woman ?

Do you know how to use a delete key? Sheesh.

No i dont, does this mean im banned ?

[mikethevigoman]

apart from hello kitty and david beckham, what do you talk about to a 22 year old thai girl?

Just persist with her, if you love her it will conquer all ,and dont let anyone put you down ,.

[tettyan]

Interestingly, of all the countries in the world, only America has the right of individual pursuit of happiness written into its constitution.

If what appears to be a total mismatch to you is at the same time legal and making two people relatively happy, leave 'em be; don't be so prissy all you bashers.

Incorrect. There is no right to "pursuit of happiness" written in the US Constitution. You're mixing it up with the Declaration of Independence. It's a common mistake that's worth clarifying, lest you embarass yourself again.

[canadiangirl]

Well, at least you don't gender discriminate when you slam others. I find it interesting that you claim to be standing up for women and complain about how men do not respect them, but then you have written more degrading comments about Thai women than anyone else in this entire thread.

Do you really think that these young Thai women you refer to are not intelligent enough to make their own choices - that they merely run along mindlessly chasing a carrot on a stick?

While you admit to being willing to do that, if you made some of these insinuations to my Isaan wife, it would be advisable for you to take a step or two back. Not only is she seemingly (judging from your writings) a bit more intelligent than you, she would be very upset indeed if you challenged her decision to be with a man 30-years her senior.

(Oh, what the heck, I wasn't going to bother anymore, but I can't resist this stupid thread any more than anyone else!)

It's funny how I am always careful to qualify my comments by saying "some women", "in some cases", or "some men" -- specifically to account for the fact that I am commenting on the general situation, not one person's specific relationship -- yet you seem too thick to grasp that.

If I say some Thai women are whores -- well, that's a documented fact. I've hardly called your wife a whore. How could I claim to know anything about your particular relationship? If you jump up and say "you called my wife a whore!" -- you've counted yourself among that number, not me. Deal with your own insecurities.

As for Thai women being intelligent enough to choose for themselves -- Thai women are no different than any other human being on earth -- they pick the best choice among those offered to them. Do you doubt that poor people have less choice than rich people? And yes, I am aware that not all Thais are poor. However, the average monthly salary in Thailand is around 7,800B. (Pay attention again, as I am not talking about whatever your wife's salary is in whatever job she has, but the average salary). Those choices hardly preclude love, but one can get an idea of the forces at play by noting that young beautiful women marrying men 30 years their senior are much rarer in the West.

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

[kat]

I would be really careful about using the "w" word. I don't even use it to describe commercial sex workers or marital prostitutes. It is too perjorative.

[sukanyacondo]

Allow me to restate your position suk. Thai women are flies attracted to defecation disguised as farangs.

Yup, sounds about right.

Apologies if I was too suttle for you, thats exactly what i meant

I should start mixing with a different crowd if i were you, unless of course you are happy there,.

Im anti social I dont mix with anybody Thai/Farang/World/Universe etc

[mikethevigoman]

I would be really careful about using the "w" word. I don't even use it to describe commercial sex workers or marital prostitutes. It is too perjorative.

She is beginning to sound spiteful isnt she ?, i think maybe a thai "w" stole her husband !

[canadiangirl]

Well, at least you don't gender discriminate when you slam others. I find it interesting that you claim to be standing up for women and complain about how men do not respect them, but then you have written more degrading comments about Thai women than anyone else in this entire thread.

Do you really think that these young Thai women you refer to are not intelligent enough to make their own choices - that they merely run along mindlessly chasing a carrot on a stick?

While you admit to being willing to do that, if you made some of these insinuations to my Isaan wife, it would be advisable for you to take a step or two back. Not only is she seemingly (judging from your writings) a bit more intelligent than you, she would be very upset indeed if you challenged her decision to be with a man 30-years her senior.

(Oh, what the heck, I wasn't going to bother anymore, but I can't resist this stupid thread any more than anyone else!)

It's funny how I am always careful to qualify my comments by saying "some women", "in some cases", or "some men" -- specifically to account for the fact that I am commenting on the general situation, not one person's specific relationship -- yet you seem too thick to grasp that.

If I say some Thai women are prostitutes -- well, that's a documented fact. I've hardly called your wife a prostitute. How could I claim to know anything about your particular relationship? If you jump up and say "you called my wife a prostitute!" -- you've counted yourself among that number, not me. Deal with your own insecurities.

As for Thai women being intelligent enough to choose for themselves -- Thai women are no different than any other human being on earth -- they pick the best choice among those offered to them. Do you doubt that poor people have less choice than rich people? And yes, I am aware that not all Thais are poor. However, the average monthly salary in Thailand is around 7,800B. (Pay attention again, as I am not talking about whatever your wife's salary is in whatever job she has, but the average salary). Those choices hardly preclude love, but one can get an idea of the forces at play by noting that young beautiful women marrying men 30 years their senior are much rarer in the West.

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

[canadiangirl]

I would be really careful about using the "w" word. I don't even use it to describe commercial sex workers or marital prostitutes. It is too perjorative.

Hey Kat,

it's all the same to me. I don't mind editing the post if "prostitute" is less inflamatory, but the board interface won't let me edit it! I've reposted it, with the word changed, if that helps at all.

My apologies if I've offended by my choice of words (my ideas and opinions stand). I didn't realize the word was more offensive than any other. I've done tons and tons of reading on sex work, I have friends who have done sex work and some who are sex worker activists -- I had always believed that this was the appropriate word to use, not considered offensive.

But if it helps people focus on the idea I tried to express rather than my choice of words, I don't mind changing it. Do you know how I can?

[canadiangirl]

I would be really careful about using the "w" word. I don't even use it to describe commercial sex workers or marital prostitutes. It is too perjorative.

She is beginning to sound spiteful isnt she ?, i think maybe a thai "w" stole her husband !

Husband? I thought all us feminists were supposed to be lesbians.

[chinthee]

I would be really careful about using the "w" word. I don't even use it to describe commercial sex workers or marital prostitutes. It is too perjorative.

She is beginning to sound spiteful isnt she ?, i think maybe a thai "w" stole her husband !

Husband? I thought all us feminists were supposed to be lesbians.

Can I watch?

[Andrew Hicks]

i, for one, think a mans brain is far more sexy than his six pack.

-Donna

And of course all the men here in LOS are here for brains too.

Is conjugating Latin verbs conjugal bliss?

My Thai wife is much younger than me but is in no way my intellectual inferior. She's simply had fewer opportunities than me. She's heard of Aristotle but doesn't know much about him and it hasn't threatened our relationship so far.

We don't discuss Kant over the som tam but even if the language gap allowed intellectual discussions, do husband and wife ever have the time? You just get bogged down in domesticity. If you need regular intellectual climaxes, does it necessarily have to be with your wife?

I wish I spoke Thai well enough to discuss local politics in depth with her, and that is a limitation. Nonetheless, I find our differences fascinating and living with her is a constant process of learning about her life and culture.

Marriage is surely about liking and respecting someone and above all companionship and following common goals... building that house, keeping the kids off the street and so on.

An age gap is not a fatal flaw in a friendship but it would drive me mad if my wife were preening and painting her face, smoking and drinking all the time and teetering precariously on high heels between the buffalo turds.

So who's really luckier? The lard arse with the slick bit of tottie or the one who's still stuck with the Mark I model? Well, it all depends who's actually achieved the elusive goal of happiness, doesn't it.

Butterflies may look happy but they don't live very long.

Andrew Hicks

[Cujobytes]

Wow, I've just skimmed this thread but it seems the women here are a tad bitter at an older guy finding happiness with a younger Thai woman. Can someone explain that.

It reminds me of a friend of mine, a South African accountant, happily single untill he was in his mid fifties, he swears his wife (who he'd known for many years) married him because she couldn't stand to see him single and happy.

Why are foreign women so down on men?

[kmart]

apart from hello kitty and david beckham, what do you talk about to a 22 year old thai girl?

Ring-tones and Nokia screensavers, perhaps? Who knows..?

[canadiangirl]

Why are foreign women so down on men?

Darling, once you spend a bit more time here, you'll see it's the other way around.

[siamamerican]

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

Ouch!

I've refrained from joining in on this post out of fear. Not sure I can match wits with yourself, Kat, Bendix, and others. I haven't got the sense that the ladies are bitter like some posters feel. Quite a few generalizations, but the womens' posts ring true.

Age disparities don't determine happiness, but a 58 year man marrying an 18 year old Thai is a little sick. I admit, I find 18 year olds attractive, but couldn't imagine falling in love, or for that matter, her loving me.

[duratanium]

This topic is brilliant.

Seem to have turned into.....

Bra Burning Terrorists V Macho Man

[bangsue]

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

Ouch!

I've refrained from joining in on this post out of fear. Not sure I can match wits with yourself, Kat, Bendix, and others. I haven't got the sense that the ladies are bitter like some posters feel. Quite a few generalizations, but the womens' posts ring true.

Age disparities don't determine happiness, but a 58 year man marrying an 18 year old Thai is a little sick. I admit, I find 18 year olds attractive, but couldn't imagine falling in love, or for that matter, her loving me.

could you a 28 year-old or a 38 year-old or a 48-year old?

[meemiathai]

^

Sorry, CP, I thought we were only generalising and speculating here.

Are you talking individual cases?.

It's always easy to generalize.

But yes, a page or so ago the OP has made a specific example (maybe just a bait) - of a 58 year old westerner deeply in love with his fiancee - a not yet 18 year old girl introduced to him by her father. According to the OP that man on his "pursuit for individual happiness" came to Thailand to find himself a "non-feminist" wife. The marriage date seems to be fixed now at her 18th birthday.

What exactly is the problem? the "not yet 18"?(is 19 ok then?), the "introduced to him by her father?",(by someone else ok?),

the "came to thailand?", the "find himself a "non-feminist wife"?", or is it because of the "58 year old"? or

maybe the "westerner"?(racist?)......

We are not living in paradise! Everyone is looking for something best for himself/herself! This includes you and me. When you are paying for a bowl of rice, do you think you have worked hard enough to compensate the hard work of the farmer to deserve it? Is that fair?

When is it we start a thread discussing that good-looking women should not marry ugly men?

[ColPyat]

oh yes, I'm sure you are very oppressed, your Thai wife is a very beautiful, educated genius, who is only outmatched by your own superior and genetically endowed intellect the way nature intended (from your mama no less), who happened to meet a foreign man 30 years her senior, in a city teeming with foreign/Thai relationships with 30-40 year age gaps, and fell in love with him in a matter of seconds at first sight in the restaurant where she worked as a waitress. That is your story isn't it?

You seem to forget that I've been on this forum for awhile now, and have run into your self-victimization/bigotry tactics before. It is also readily available in your post history. If you are so concerned about the oppression of Thai women, why are you the biggest apologist for norms and customs which assure that single women with children have no other chances in this society other than to live outside the margins, or to find a safe, harmless, albeit slightly delusional farang with a pension? I mean, who can <deleted>' blame her - if I had the same dismal chances in life I'd probably do the same thing.

Observation and acknowledgment of a social pattern and norm is not the same as bigotry, but I can understand your need to deflect and make it so. As long as you can turn this around, and make it so that everyone else is disrespectful and bigoted, you never have to confront how your own kindhearted, indulgent, benevolence is really about your own interests, and your own comfort. I hope when your wife leaves on her extended "religious excursions" she finds some comfort of her own.

I almost actually started to feel sorry for you, and was going to leave you alone with your delusions, until you pissed me off. You are such the big defender of the "gentle, magical Thai people", and then promote threads about nudist excursions to Thai beaches. You have no qualms about screeching bigotry and discrimination, but will turn around and promote activities that are deeply offensive to Thai culture, as long as your self interests are satisfied. You are beyond even the worst cliches, and I don't want to waste any more time responding to you.

*edited for typo

WOW, What a post.

The problem with your post is - that you are absolutely right.

It may be harshly formulated, but there is a lot of truth in your post. I am inspired by the views you expressed here, and it does make me examine me and my relationship as well.

Very well done!

[Dustoff]

oh yes, I'm sure you are very oppressed, your Thai wife is a very beautiful, educated genius, who is only outmatched by your own superior and genetically endowed intellect the way nature intended (from your mama no less), who happened to meet a foreign man 30 years her senior, in a city teeming with foreign/Thai relationships with 30-40 year age gaps, and fell in love with him in a matter of seconds at first sight in the restaurant where she worked as a waitress. That is your story isn't it?

Yawn.. No. This is your version, fueled by hatred.

Never said I was oppressed, did not say she is beautiful or a genius, said only that my English language skills may be a bit superior, we met in a village not a city, I was the one who fell in love at first sight and it took me months to win her heart..

Oh, good for you, you got one right - she was working as a waitress.

I hope when your wife leaves on her extended "religious excursions" she finds some comfort of her own.

As do I. She calls me 2-3 times a day from her family's home where she is with her son who also gets on the phone and confesses that he loves me. A truly great kid who just turned twelve, is doing very well indeed in a private school and we are very much looking forward to him returning back home next spring to begin attending another very good school here in Chiang Mai. Thank you for your concern, Kat.

I almost actually started to feel sorry for you, and was going to leave you alone with your delusions, until you pissed me off.

Oh-oh, now I've done it - I have gone and angered a bigot. What was I thinking?

You are such the big defender of the "gentle, magical Thai people", and then promote threads about nudist excursions to Thai beaches. You have no qualms about screeching bigotry and discrimination, but will turn around and promote activities that are deeply offensive to Thai culture, as long as your self interests are satisfied. You are beyond even the worst cliches, and I don't want to waste any more time responding to you.

That would be wonderful, Kat! You initiated this interchange between us, not I. You stepped into a post that was directed to someone else, I had never quoted anything you wrote nor mentioned you by name but you still chose to take personal offense. Not surprisingly however, given the your propensity for venting anger at people who have nothing whatsoever to do with your life.

Please don't waste any more of your time on me - your hallucinatory tantrams are not very interesting anyway and I certainly have no wish to anger anyone as kind-hearted as yourself.

The nudist thing was cute tho - yup, at 67 years old I am going to go around naked on a beach. Too funny. Once again you grab what you can use to rant and rage without really understanding, or caring to understand, what you have read. I have no problem with nudity in appropriate circumstances and do not think that Thai beaches are appropriate circumstances. I do however think that since Thailand pushes for European tourism, they are going to have to deal with topless women (and fat men) on beaches that these very tourists frequent; just as they have to learn to deal with all the rest of the idiosyncrasies of tourists from various cultures/countries.

I have actually mentioned to many people on Thai beaches that going topless is offensive to Thais and considered very rude. Some just had no clue and were gracious enough to cover up, a few told me to screw off, some simply blinked at me because they had no idea what I was saying.

I do however occasionally go naked in my own home so don't drop in without calling first, okay Kat?

Respectfully, Dustoff

[canadiangirl]

This topic is brilliant.

Seem to have turned into.....

Bra Burning Terrorists V Macho Man

This topic has turned into a guilty pleasure of sorts, I must confess. Ah, I haven't argued like this since university!

Burning bras?! Do you know how hard it is for a girl to find the perfect-fitting bra?

[meemiathai]

apart from hello kitty and david beckham, what do you talk about to a 22 year old thai girl?

This is exactly what they want you to believe. How do you think they manage to part you from your money? Behaving like a farang woman?

[siamamerican]

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

Ouch!

I've refrained from joining in on this post out of fear. Not sure I can match wits with yourself, Kat, Bendix, and others. I haven't got the sense that the ladies are bitter like some posters feel. Quite a few generalizations, but the womens' posts ring true.

Age disparities don't determine happiness, but a 58 year man marrying an 18 year old Thai is a little sick. I admit, I find 18 year olds attractive, but couldn't imagine falling in love, or for that matter, her loving me.

could you a 28 year-old or a 38 year-old or a 48-year old?

I'm 40 and my wife is 35. Probably could have fallen in love with someone 10 to 15 years younger. Never dated someone that much younger and assume their would be issues, but it could've happened. As for someone 10 years my senior, probably not.

[bangsue]

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

Ouch!

I've refrained from joining in on this post out of fear. Not sure I can match wits with yourself, Kat, Bendix, and others. I haven't got the sense that the ladies are bitter like some posters feel. Quite a few generalizations, but the womens' posts ring true.

Age disparities don't determine happiness, but a 58 year man marrying an 18 year old Thai is a little sick. I admit, I find 18 year olds attractive, but couldn't imagine falling in love, or for that matter, her loving me.

could you a 28 year-old or a 38 year-old or a 48-year old?

I'm 40 and my wife is 35. Probably could have fallen in love with someone 10 to 15 years younger. Never dated someone that much younger and assume their would be issues, but it could've happened. As for someone 10 years my senior, probably not.

yeah, 58 and 18 or 28 would look odd. can imagine 58 and 38 or 48 looking ok.

[Cujobytes]

Darling, once you spend a bit more time here, you'll see it's the other way around.

Don't call me darling, you don't know me well enough, its disrespectful.

I'm all for burning bras by the way.

....a 58 year man marrying an 18 year old Thai is a little sick.

There it is right there, it's not sick, a little unusual maybe, but not sick. But in the end, really, what do they have in common?

It's a marriage of convenience, he gets his bit of hot totty and she gets some financial security she'd otherwise never have.

He better be a secure type though and realize she WILL screw around on him, she's 18 after all, and I don't care how virile he is, at 58 he can't give her what she needs at 18. (don't tell him that though, he'll deny it.)

By the way, I'm a newbie so just so you all know where I'm coming from (and by way of introduction), I'm 50 and my wife's 31.