I’ve been thinking about this for a while and wasn’t sure how to word it without it sounding wrong, but here goes.

Living in Thailand has changed how I look at relationships. Not overnight, and not in some dramatic way, but gradually over time.

Back home, things felt more fixed. People settled into a certain pattern — similar age, similar background, similar expectations. Here, it feels different. The range of relationships you see is much wider, and the expectations don’t always line up the same way.

I’ve met guys who’ve been happily married for years, both to Western partners and Thai partners. I’ve also seen relationships fall apart, sometimes quickly, sometimes after a long time. Same as anywhere, really.

But I have noticed that some people seem to rethink what they want after living here for a while. That could be lifestyle, finances, age differences, or just a shift in priorities.

I’m not saying one way is right or wrong. Just that being here seems to open up different choices, and not everyone handles that the same way.

Curious what others think.

Have you found your views on relationships changed since living in Thailand?

Sounds like another thinly veiled rent versus own topic. Certainly not the first and definitely won't be the last.

No, still look at them the same. Here it's more about money, being a poorer country than the US. Less independence, more absent fathers where the women need a better provider. More and more looking to western men because of the lack of forced support after a child is born. Children largely forgotten after they reach age 10 or so, which leaves the women looking for themselves first, and any children still with them, a provider. Women are still women all over, but with this money thing, they're actions are different.

The more independent they are, the less they'll need a man for that cash. This makes their thinking different as far as how they look at men in general.

Being a Buddhist country, they are looked at more inferior than in much of the west, although misogyny is everywhere, but not as much as having that being a starting point when a girl is born with that thinking. Knowing they'll be subservient from the beginning, and seeing how western women are more independent, are looked at more equal in many cases, they also want that, and the only way that'll happen is with a western man.

Here the age difference is higher, which has many not able to relate to their partners, being from a different generation entirely. Communication being the most important thing after trust, and having that not happen because of the differences in ages, has the relationship becoming a caretaker one instead of a partnership, although not in all cases, depending on the individuals and age difference. The closer in ages the better, in all relationships between a man and woman.

I have a younger girlfriend, although she's in her 40's, so is not only intelligent, but has been around enough to know more about that age level, and what to expect from men. It's still in the provider stage, as I help her in her life when I see she needs it, rather than just giving her money for the hell of it. When I return to the west soon, if she doesn't eventually follow, I will again look for someone closer to my age, that has taken good care of herself all along, and is from the same generation so we can relate better, seeing the money won't be a factor nearly as much as here.

9 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I have a younger girlfriend, although she's in her 40's, so is not only intelligent, but has been around enough to know more about that age level, and what to expect from men. It's still in the provider stage, as I help her in her life when I see she needs it, rather than just giving her money for the hell of it. When I return to the west soon, if she doesn't eventually follow, I will again look for someone closer to my age, that has taken good care of herself all along, and is from the same generation so we can relate better, seeing the money won't be a factor nearly as much as here.

Here, money gives you access to a woman 30 years younger. There, forget it. Even with a bit of money, unless you have F-U money, you'll be hard pressed to find somebody, even your own age, in good shape who wants to be with you. You will spiral into incel life.

I think it is we who change as we get older. Some prefer the availability of young women, others like the comfort of being two, and some chase one or the other and never being satisfied whatever they do, and being economical set, helps wherever you are when it comes to women, what matters is the woman you find. Her feeling of value against your value. Not talking about pros, that's another League

6 minutes ago, BilllyGOAT said:

Here, money gives you access to a woman 30 years younger. There, forget it. Even with a bit of money, unless you have F-U money, you'll be hard pressed to find somebody, even your own age, in good shape who wants to be with you. You will spiral into incel life.

I'll be looking for a woman in her 50's, as there's a much better chance of her being in good shape than one my age of almost 70. She'll be old enough to understand our generation and likely had enough life experience to know she wants a decent man this time around, seeing she'll be single for a reason. Besides a widow of course.

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I'll be looking for a woman in her 50's, as there's a much better chance of her being in good shape than one my age of almost 70. She'll be old enough to understand our generation and likely had enough life experience to know she wants a decent man this time around, seeing she'll be single for a reason. Besides a widow of course.

I don't think I've ever bonked a woman that age. I'd be surprised if I could rise to the occasion, unless of course I viewed it as being some kind of kinky fetish. Like cougar porn. 😬🤣

Just now, BilllyGOAT said:

I don't think I've ever bonked a woman that age. I'd be surprised if I could rise to the occasion, unless of course I viewed it as being some kind of kinky fetish. Like cougar porn. 😬🤣

Lot of very pretty 50's women out there, and the single ones are either loons or had a bad partner and would appreciate one that would treat them well, and be faithful.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Lot of very pretty 50's women out there, and the single ones are either loons or had a bad partner and would appreciate one that would treat them well, and be faithful.

Damaged goods. Sounds wonderful. Send me a postcard from heaven. 🤣

Here is my mailing address:

69 Soi Nana, Bang-Kok, Thailand 10110

4 minutes ago, BilllyGOAT said:

Damaged goods. Sounds wonderful. Send me a postcard from heaven. 🤣

We're all damaged goods in one way or another. Either you started out damaged because of your parents, or you became damaged because of living with those types. Or you got lucky in your choice of partner and they were normal. Adjusting is the hard part. Hopefully it'll be a long time to send that postcard, as I have quite a lot to do beforehand.

I don't find any difference between TH or USA, dating or relationships, short or long.

A lot of it is economics, responsible people, or not, as plenty of single parent families in both USA & TH. Millionaires in USA & TH, get to have perks of being.

Here, some foreigners are millionaires, THB millionaires, but still millionaires to the average Thai gold digger or someone just appreciative of a better life. Same as USA, just need to work out which that person is. Eyes open, and it's easy.

Mine weren't for wife #3, but I didn't really care ... at first 🙄

All relationships fall under, childhood sweethearts, love at 1st sight, an acquired taste with tolerance, or mental, if not spoken arraingment.

I think we all weigh the pros & cons, when it goes beyond a certain point. IF clear thinking with the right head.

One thing for sure, for those who never had a proper relationship, or very few ones with good or horrible experiences, have a buffet of the same here! So of curse it changes someones mind for the better or worse. Nobody is the same, and everyone have to learn one way or the other, or not at all.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Hopefully it'll be a long time to send that postcard

I meant "heaven" figuratively as in send me a postcard when you are over there living with your 50-year-old granny of your dreams.

Anyway, I added my mailing address for you above, in case you get the urge.

7 minutes ago, BilllyGOAT said:

I meant "heaven" figuratively as in send me a postcard when you are over there living with your 50-year-old granny of your dreams.

Anyway, I added my mailing address for you above, in case you get the urge.

This is the kind of "granny" I'm talking about, just for one possible..

IMO all relationships are transactional, either here or in the West. However, there are key differences in attitudes.

In the West, it's a culture of equality and entitlement, brought about by family law division of assets equally when a relationship breaks down.

In Thailand, men are empowered by economic inequality. Defacto relationships are not recognized in Thai law.

In the West, sex is a negotiation. In Thailand, it's part of "taking care".

The divorce rate in Western women skyrockets after age 70, and it is mostly initiated by them. Too late, they realise the price of their freedom is loneliness, because men who have done the Asian pivot have much better options.