If your six,one, 220 pounds and have anything to do with a " thong", you're in the wrong forum mate.

Oops what a give away! Back to the closet it is then.

Did you know that in about 1848 the "Woman's Rights Movement" in America gave rise to the adoption of an attire for it's members somewhat resembling that of men. In the following year, 1849, Mrs Bloomer gave her name to a costume which consisted of a short jacket, a short skirt reaching just below the knee, and a pair of 'bloomers" made on the pattern of Turkish trousers. The courage necessary to adopt this form of apparel was found wanting in many, and only a few followed Mrs Bloomers advice.

That was then.

That it's never easy when you are the tooth fairy..................

Gawd help her children...

That it's never easy when you are the tooth fairy..................

Oh my word!!!

That it's never easy when you are the tooth fairy..................

Oh my word!!!

Don't get too many of those to the pound

.

ON THIS DAY

December 19

1154 - Henry II became King of England.

1843 - Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" was first published in England.

1887 - Jake Kilrain and Jim Smith fought in a bare knuckles fight which lasted 106 rounds and 2 hours and 30 minutes. The fight was ruled a draw and was halted due to darkness.

1918 - Robert Ripley began his "Believe It or Not" column in "The New York Globe".

1973 - Johnny Carson started a fake toilet-paper scare on the "Tonight Show."

The last Farthing was minted in 1956.

4 farthings to the penny

12 pence to the shilling

20 shillings to the pound

The English never made their arithmatic easy !

1 cow, 3 sheep, 4 chickens, 2 wood pidgeons and a pig for £10

1 cow, 3 sheep, 4 chickens, 2 wood pidgeons and a pig for £10

Are you selling these BJ ?

and if so does the pig come in it's own poke ?

Not at that price anymore ken. With inflation and all that.

In the days of the farthing, that's what you could of got. Alas, now for a tenner, you can only buy a Blue Tits giblets

It has always amazed me - the funny names given to pubs (especially irish flavoured ones).

The barrow & shovel.

The pick & clover.

The open & closed.

The bull's head.

etc.... but the one theat really got me was in Newcastle Australia.

"The Ducks Nuts"

No shit.

Did you know that the Christmas Cracker was invented by Tom Smith

http://www.absolutelycrackers.com/historynew.html

I did, funnily enough.

The Cracker is 160 years old this year.

Last night, incidentally, we had impromptu guests over, and it all got a bit drunk. Diggin out a box of crackers left over from last week-ends christmas dinner that we hosted, we proceeded to show this random spanish dude what a cracker was, and as a result, he asked about the history of the cracker.

So we looked it up.

Funny story.

The last Farthing was minted in 1956.

4 farthings to the penny

12 pence to the shilling

20 shillings to the pound

The English never made their arithmatic easy !

Tell me about it. Having gone through school in the fifties and sixties I was used to questions along the following lines:-

Farmer Giles harvested 7 Tons 3 cwt 3 Quarters and 1 stone of potatos from his north field. He equally divided the crop between his three sons Bill, Fred and Tarquinne who took them to different markets. Bill sold all of his quota for one shilling sixpence three farthing per pound. Fred sold all but one stone 12 pounds at a price 15% more than Bill. Tarquinne sold all but 3 quarters 11 pounds of his at a price 10% less than Fred. Rounding off all quantities and prices to the nearest base unit how much did farmer Giles get for his crop and what was the value of the unsold portion based on the average price? Assume in the calculation that Bill and Fred each had three pints in the Bull and Buttocks at 6 pence three farthing each and Tarquinne had two brandy and babyshams in the Shirtlifters Arms at two shillings and threpence each but left through the back door 3 pounds ten shillings and sixpence better off.

And we never had calculators to answer such questions.

And for an extra 15 points, was Tarquinne the product of a liaisonne dangeruesse between Mary, farmer Giles wife, and lord Ponsonby-Smythe of Little Ballsover manor and was he a poof?

Nowadays people in he UK are as bad as the Thais at mental arithmetic, if it wasn't for automatic tills they couldn't get you the right change for a tenner having bought three pints at two pounds seventy five each.

The last Farthing was minted in 1956.

4 farthings to the penny

12 pence to the shilling

20 shillings to the pound

The English never made their arithmatic easy !

Tell me about it. Having gone through school in the fifties and sixties I was used to questions along the following lines:-

Farmer Giles harvested 7 Tons 3 cwt 3 Quarters and 1 stone of potatos from his north field. He equally divided the crop between his three sons Bill, Fred and Tarquinne who took them to different markets. Bill sold all of his quota for one shilling sixpence three farthing per pound. Fred sold all but one stone 12 pounds at a price 15% more than Bill. Tarquinne sold all but 3 quarters 11 pounds of his at a price 10% less than Fred. Rounding off all quantities and prices to the nearest base unit how much did farmer Giles get for his crop and what was the value of the unsold portion based on the average price? Assume in the calculation that Bill and Fred each had three pints in the Bull and Buttocks at 6 pence three farthing each and Tarquinne had two brandy and babyshams in the Shirtlifters Arms at two shillings and threpence each but left through the back door 3 pounds ten shillings and sixpence better off.

And we never had calculators to answer such questions.

And for an extra 15 points, was Tarquinne the product of a liaisonne dangeruesse between Mary, farmer Giles wife, and lord Ponsonby-Smythe of Little Ballsover manor and was he a poof?

Nowadays people in he UK are as bad as the Thais at mental arithmetic, if it wasn't for automatic tills they couldn't get you the right change for a tenner having bought three pints at two pounds seventy five each.

Phil I loved your spiel and it was all so abso'bloody'lutely true, though you did leave out even loads more stuff as in

If potatoes were twopence three farthings each then how much for a dozen.

You forgot that Farner Giles' land was also in Rods, Poles and Perches, and then you had to know how many square yards there were in an acre to check how many seed potatoes you needed first.

Part of the crop came in Pecks & Bushells,

And in my day we had to measure how far it was from Mary's place to Lord Ponsonby-Smythe's arbor in miles, furlongs, chains, yards, feet and inches (Just so he could try a little arbor ).

I did, funnily enough.

The Cracker is 160 years old this year.

Last night, incidentally, we had impromptu guests over, and it all got a bit drunk. Diggin out a box of crackers left over from last week-ends christmas dinner that we hosted, we proceeded to show this random spanish dude what a cracker was, and as a result, he asked about the history of the cracker.

So we looked it up.

Funny story.

One of my favourite lines in a movie comes from "Snatch" when Bricktop Eddie threatens to cut off some-ones Jacobs. I always seem to have to explain this to non Brits.

Jacobs >> Jacobs Cream Crackers >> Knackers

Platypus are an egg-laying mammal, one of only two animals in the world that fit into the family of monotreme. The other is the echidna, of which there are two species, the long-beaked and the short-beaked. Platypus are covered with short, soft, dense fur and have a duck-like bill and webbed feet. The first specimens of platypus taken back to England were thought to be a fake, the combination of a duck and a rat sown together. It's an animal that has always intrigued.

Platypus are an egg-laying mammal, one of only two animals in the world that fit into the family of monotreme. The other is the echidna, of which there are two species, the long-beaked and the short-beaked. Platypus are covered with short, soft, dense fur and have a duck-like bill and webbed feet. The first specimens of platypus taken back to England were thought to be a fake, the combination of a duck and a rat sown together. It's an animal that has always intrigued.

You may wanna check up on the facts for me LK - but I do believe that the Platypus is also the only "poisonous" mammal as well.

Did You Know...

The most Poisonous Mammal in the world is the Asian woman scorned.

Platypus are an egg-laying mammal, one of only two animals in the world that fit into the family of monotreme. The other is the echidna, of which there are two species, the long-beaked and the short-beaked. Platypus are covered with short, soft, dense fur and have a duck-like bill and webbed feet. The first specimens of platypus taken back to England were thought to be a fake, the combination of a duck and a rat sown together. It's an animal that has always intrigued.

You may wanna check up on the facts for me LK - but I do believe that the Platypus is also the only "poisonous" mammal as well.

Hi Soundman, I'm sure the Platypus is not the only poisonous mammal but I am given to believe that it is the most poisonous. Would like to know more myself, one cute mammal I did find whilst doing a quick search was the slow loris, see below :-

>

If there were a contest for cutest venomous creature the slow loris would win hands down (or elbows out, as the case may be).

The slow loris secretes a toxin from sebaceous glands located in crooks of its elbows. When a loris is fixing to bite, it first coats its own teeth in the poison. If a mother slow loris has to leave her babies unattended she will slick them down with poison to protect them from predators in her absence.

Not a lot of people know all of the above.............................

Platypus are an egg-laying mammal, one of only two animals in the world that fit into the family of monotreme. The other is the echidna, of which there are two species, the long-beaked and the short-beaked. Platypus are covered with short, soft, dense fur and have a duck-like bill and webbed feet. The first specimens of platypus taken back to England were thought to be a fake, the combination of a duck and a rat sown together. It's an animal that has always intrigued.

You may wanna check up on the facts for me LK - but I do believe that the Platypus is also the only "poisonous" mammal as well.

Hi Soundman, I'm sure the Platypus is not the only poisonous mammal but I am given to believe that it is the most poisonous. Would like to know more myself, one cute mammal I did find whilst doing a quick search was the slow loris, see below :-

>

If there were a contest for cutest venomous creature the slow loris would win hands down (or elbows out, as the case may be).

The slow loris secretes a toxin from sebaceous glands located in crooks of its elbows. When a loris is fixing to bite, it first coats its own teeth in the poison. If a mother slow loris has to leave her babies unattended she will slick them down with poison to protect them from predators in her absence.

Well who says knowledge is useless. Those are the little buggers that the photgraph pedlars are currently pushing in the side sois in Pattaya. Just have to make sure the little critter doesn't bite or rub its glands on you.

Well who says knowledge is useless. Those are the little buggers that the photgraph pedlars are currently pushing in the side sois in Pattaya. Just have to make sure the little critter doesn't bite or rub its glands on you.

Are we still talking about the slow loris or some lady named Loris?

CB

Did you know Slade's "Merry Christmas Everybody", the UK's official favourite Xmas song of all time, was recorded in New York ?

In the next studio, some bloke on bail from Liverpool " John Lennon " ?................... Was recording " Mind Games ". Funny how the obvious influence of Slade does not get a mention on the no-name scousers record sleeve.

The cheek of some plagiarists.

Walter Hunt had no trouble thinking up new ideas. First he invented a machine to spin flax. Then he invented a fire engine gong, a forest saw, a stove that burned hard coal. His inventions worked, but he just did not have the knack for making money from them. One day in 1849 Walter Hunt wanted to pay a fifteen-dollar debt to a friend. So he decided to invent something new.

From a piece of brass wire about eight inches long, coiled at the center and shielded at one end, he made the first safety pin. He took out a patent on his invention, sold the rights to it for four hundred dollars, paid his friend back and had three hundred eighty-five dollars to spare.

Then he watched his latest brainstorm go on to become a million dollar money earner for someone else.....

What a great patent to own all I would want is 1 cent for every safety pin made.......

Walter Hunt had no trouble thinking up new ideas. First he invented a machine to spin flax. Then he invented a fire engine gong, a forest saw, a stove that burned hard coal. His inventions worked, but he just did not have the knack for making money from them. One day in 1849 Walter Hunt wanted to pay a fifteen-dollar debt to a friend. So he decided to invent something new.

From a piece of brass wire about eight inches long, coiled at the center and shielded at one end, he made the first safety pin. He took out a patent on his invention, sold the rights to it for four hundred dollars, paid his friend back and had three hundred eighty-five dollars to spare.

Then he watched his latest brainstorm go on to become a million dollar money earner for someone else.....

What a great patent to own all I would want is 1 cent for every safety pin made.......

$400? Are you sure? I didn't think they even had dollars in ancient Rome when the first safety pins were used!

Walter Hunt had no trouble thinking up new ideas. First he invented a machine to spin flax. Then he invented a fire engine gong, a forest saw, a stove that burned hard coal. His inventions worked, but he just did not have the knack for making money from them. One day in 1849 Walter Hunt wanted to pay a fifteen-dollar debt to a friend. So he decided to invent something new.

From a piece of brass wire about eight inches long, coiled at the center and shielded at one end, he made the first safety pin. He took out a patent on his invention, sold the rights to it for four hundred dollars, paid his friend back and had three hundred eighty-five dollars to spare.

Then he watched his latest brainstorm go on to become a million dollar money earner for someone else.....

What a great patent to own all I would want is 1 cent for every safety pin made.......

$400? Are you sure? I didn't think they even had dollars in ancient Rome when the first safety pins were used!

Whilst you are correct in saying that the earliest form of this pin was available

in ancient Greece & Rome , Hunt made it perfectly "Safe" by tucking the sharp point

away, thus must be credited with the invention. A Safety Pin. (He also made it springy)

Did you know that

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Equals nine squared and not a bit more

(12+144+20+3x4^.5)/7+5x11=9^2+0

Beer and ale volumes

4 gills = 1 pint

2 pints = 1 quart

4 quarts = 1 gallon

9 gallons = 1 firkin

2 firkins = 1 kilderkin

3 kilderkins = 1 hogshead

2 hogsheads = 1 butt

Who's for a firkin of beer then ?