Do You Have A Thai Wife Or Girlfriend?

[jayjayjayjay]

When I first got to Thailand I was as bad as the worst judgemental plicks.... I couldnt stand the site of a young woman with an older man. Now after gaining much wisdom and understanding I totally don't feel that way at all, although I still have a good chuckle when its obvious some poor guy is being taken for a ride by his scheming girlfriend. It isnt right to be alone, at any time in your life. If you have to move here to find happiness then so be it. I would do it and will do it if one day many years from now I feel completely unhappy and alone. But hopefully that wont be my situation in the future. Even in my young prime 20's I remember spending a year alone and feeling more miserable than I ever had... (YES it is THAT HARD to find a girlfriend in Canada sometimes... its freaking ridiculous) and if someone had told me there was a magical place I could easily find a girlfriend I would have jumped on a plane right away.

Damian

That was me in 1990........... guess what, still here, two beautiful daugthers I raise in "my" house without any help or input from the ex's family, traded the older model (she was 4 years older than me) for one half my age that makes me 10 times as happy ........ Every aspect of life is better... guess Damian's not going home either!!

[qwertz]

Being once divorced and twice widowed, I can only say that LOS not only breaks hearts, for some people it mends them.

I think the therapy there works better for men than for women though.

As for what people think of me for going there or consorting with Thai women - irrelevant.

[Smithson]

The treatment is worse in Thailand. We rent in suburban Bangkok, the neigbours look at us like <deleted>, I've got a car, but don't drive often, normally we ride a small bike. It's not just cause I'm farang, but also because I don't wear a suit, drive a BMW, rent etc.

It's easier in Pattaya, there's equality because everyone thinks the same thing about couples.

To all those talking about 'good' Thai girls, truth is in the eyes of a lot of Thais one of the things a 'good girl' doesn't do is marry or go out with farang. The hierarchical/elitist values over here are bad enough, but what worse is the farang who adopt them.

[Mosha]

I think it must depend on where you live. I live out in the sticks, the nearest Farang is about 17 miles away. He's German and doesn't speak English, so we have never met. We have absolutely no problems with anyone in the Amphoe. We get plenty of invites to weddings, of all class. Parties for new houses etc.. Also attend the merit making. The local school kids call for help with homework, or if they are given a project to talk to a Farang.

I need to talk to my friend Mark and ask about his experiences. He spends 6 months in Thailand and 6 months in the USA. His Thai time being split between here in Ranong where his wife's family are, and Bangkok where they have a town house off Sukhumvit.

Any one else from the sticks care to comment?

[garro]

I think it must depend on where you live. I live out in the sticks, the nearest Farang is about 17 miles away. He's German and doesn't speak English, so we have never met. We have absolutely no problems with anyone in the Amphoe. We get plenty of invites to weddings, of all class. Parties for new houses etc.. Also attend the merit making. The local school kids call for help with homework, or if they are given a project to talk to a Farang.

I need to talk to my friend Mark and ask about his experiences. He spends 6 months in Thailand and 6 months in the USA. His Thai time being split between here in Ranong where his wife's family are, and Bangkok where they have a town house off Sukhumvit.

Any one else from the sticks care to comment?

I live in a very similar set-up as yourself.

Our village is in the middle of nowhere with no other farang.

120 kms from the nearest big town.

I would say that we are treated very well by everyone.

I have taught in a couple of local schools and I think that has helped.

I also make an effort to socilalise with the locals.

Edited November 9, 2007 by garro

[t.s]

the very fact that you have all managed to discuss this for this many pages is a pretty fair indicator that the stereotype is both widespread and of considerable concern to many here.

[a2396]

I paid my dues in the West, worked hard, supported my 6 kids and a lazy wife, took lots of crap from bosses and customers at the job, played the game by the rules for decades, and deprived myself of the kind of sex I really wanted.

So, if I want to live here and have a Thai partner or three who wouldn't pass inspection down at the First Baptist Church in Texas, what do I care? I was well-traveled as an American before ever coming to Asia, and few Americans know what is possible here.

My buddy who's maybe in his early 50's (divorced, with enough money) finally tried dating a divorced American woman in her early 50's last month. Total disaster; the lady spent the entire date complaining about both her divorces, and her son's divorce! My other buddy in his late 50's hasn't gotten laid in decades, and there's nothing wrong with him except he's picky about finding the right woman.

It's your life; do what you want. Don't hurt others, but don't be swayed by some folks back home who wouldn't understand if you explained it ten times.

Oh, I just got an email from some guy in Mexico whose only comment about Thailand was that the girls are so good looking. And both my buddies in Texas would really like to find an Asian girl with old fashioned, obedient lifestyle.

My experiences with American women have been similar, at least within the last 20 years or so. The best American woman I knew were from my high school days (eons ago). Life and romance seemed much less complicated then. Many Thai wome are very beautiful in appearance, but it is a big challange here to weed out the money suckers and find a woman interested in you first and foremost for love. I am still searching after 3 years. I intend to stay in Thailand, so I have no care what they might think back home. My immediate family (back home) has no problem with my choices.

[WaiWai]

It isnt right to be alone, at any time in your life. If you have to move here to find happiness then so be it. I would do it and will do it if one day many years from now I feel completely unhappy and alone. But hopefully that wont be my situation in the future.

Happiness for all at any age, and especially hate to see old people lonely - who could disagree ?

The trouble is that many young Thais (and Thailand is, of course, not the only country to which this applies) are effectively sacrificing their own youths to provide this.

[Captain Chaos]

My wife has been mistaken for Chinese, Japanese and Philipino, The UK has changed so much in the last ten years, we just don't stand out anymore, we have a huge mix of Nationalitys and cultures;

My personal fave was when the immigration guy asked me if I spoke any Taiwanese?! No no, I replied, my wife's from Thailand. Yes he said, so can you speak Taiwanese? <deleted>?!

[a2396]

For all you drooling sex maniacs out there: you can be cured. Only $37,100 yankee dollars. Line forms on the left. Even a former U.S. President was one, or so said another former U.S. President. (See attached article)

[a2396]

For all you drooling sex maniacs out there: you can be cured. Only $37,100 yankee dollars. Line forms on the left. Even a former U.S. President was one, or so said another former U.S. President. (See attached article)

Another try to attach this file. My internet connection $hit as usual.

Addicted_to_love.rtf

[mattias33]

6 Pages, 134 replies and 2625 views in 2 days. I take it this is a subject of many peoples mind. . Agreement on op statement to just laugh it off. Most have been said already. Western people are jealous of us western people living here, in all aspects, and the ones that are not jealous is the ones that dont make the idiotic statements. People (like my mom for instans) who only say that i made good choises and seem to have a good life and that she also want to move here eventually and so on. Genuine people. Thats what counts. The other <deleted> can keep their miserable lives for themselves and if it make them less miserable to trow a little shit our way, hmmm, why not, lets agree, hang up, and laugh it off here in paradise.

[Oleg_Rus]

I got lots of questions like this, so to develop some kind of canned answer I say that:

"Yes, i met her at Hard Rock Cafe Bkk, she worked as part time waitress part time rock-n-roll singer, she doesn't speak english well, only basic burmese and thai lingo, she eats with her hands, enjoy climbing on trees and though she is converted christian, she came from rare tribe of "banana cult" back from the hills' jungles. And yes, I paid her family the price of 3 buffallows, bunch of chickens and fighting rooster"

It just works. No questions are asked and all are happy.

I beleive it is stupid to answer stupid questions sincere.

[oxymoron]

Oh, I just got an email from some guy in Mexico whose only comment about Thailand was that the girls are so good looking. And both my buddies in Texas would really like to find an Asian girl with old fashioned, obedient lifestyle.

PB tell them to forget about Thailand then. After 20 years with my Thai wife and her family I can assure you this is pure myth. The monument at Phuket of the Thai ladies with the big knives defending the place when the guys were not up to it is a better representation of Thai womanhood.

[garro]

The most successful Thai prostitutes I met all had career jobs.

None were "from a bar".

I would wager that 99% of blokes that do hook up with Thai girls who got up to extra-curricular activities to earn extra dosh will never know about it. And there are a lot out there!

The many Westerners I know who married so called 'good girls' or 'career girls' certainly have no idea of their backgrounds working in Japanese Men's clubs or freelancing in the evenings but ironically are happy to pontificate how they would never marry a bar girl etc.

Spot on Tud Couldn't say it better. How idiotic those guys can be ?!? Nobody lives in the bar 24/7 ! And Thailand is NOT the west, where hooker is full time job with pimps etc.. Go around town folks ! Thailand is a FREE country , you see plenty of nice girls in the evenings having fun for extra reward , and only a very small fraction is catering to foreigners ! Don't you know there are plenty of places nice thai guys can go for fun in & after hours.. & the gals never even talked to foreigner before !! Real Thai Rak Thai places .. Grow up boys.. Ignorance is : BLISS

In the same way as an alcoholic will notice bars everywhere so seedy people will see prostitutes everywhere.

You don't have to be seedy to notice the way things sometimes work in Thailand, but you do have to be intelligent, sorry.

I have no idea of what your definition of intelligence consists of, but I do not see prostitutes everywhere.

I commented on your intelligence (or evidently lack thereof) because I was not saying prostitutes are everywhere, although the profession certainly is more widespread and evident in Thailand than any other country I have ever been to.

I was merely saying some Thai good girls married to Westerners are not all they seem.

I don't feel the need to question your intelligence as I think it is self-evident from many of your previous posts on TV.

I also wouldn't put much faith in your ability to judge intelligence.

[Youbloodybeauty]

I put it down to a mixture of ignorance, racial stereotyping, jealousy and above all stupidity.

'ol petite Ting Tong from Little Britain didn't help our cause either! Sucky sucky Mr Dudley?

Cheers YBB

[blizzard]

again.

for u doubters! what do u tink single guys cum to thailnd for? the one s that pay their own munney to get here, not the working dudes. t hais know it, the world kows it yet the peeple here seem not to know it.

ps.

ps . did u guys get warnings for yr agressive posts, u r breaking the rules..........lol.

[coldcrush]

Live your life and ignore the muppets.

A topic that rises out the ashes every couple of months. BM answers in the best and most final way.

[wolfmanjack]

I would throw out a girl half my age age as quickly as possible!

Why? Would she then be too old for you ???

[thomo]

My wife isn't even born yet.

Far too many wet-dream cast girls to do over the next 25 yrs to want a stayer, why let one marry you?

Edited November 9, 2007 by thomo

[Choscura]

people who try to look down on you generally find out later on that they've been upside down.

and now on a more logical train of thought:

thai women are a mixed bag, just like women anywhere. the stereotype seems to be some 17-year-old bend-over-betty who goes after retired guys because thats who's most likely to have cash to blow on them. which makes the stereotype stupid straight out of the starting gate, the majority of thai women I come in contact with are in my age range or above. children are generally pretty sheltered here, all things considered, they aren't whored out at the first opportunity. of the people I regularly interract with- classmates, fellow workers, etc, only one has gone after a retired guy. and she's older herself (about 34). it's still a big age range, but I've picked up on the fact that she genuinely respects the guy she's with for her own reasons, and that said, she's got her own money anyway. she owns a tour boat agency in southern thailand that is run by her cousin and has a farm somewhere in the northeast, doing what I don't know. just going by the age she acts, it seems like it's a good match up, and this is the only- I repeat, the only- marriage I've ever seen with an age difference more than ten years that I think may possibly work, if both people want it to work.

for myself, I've only really had two girlfriends here. one was a year younger than me, and it was kind of a mutual breakup because it got to the point where we just wanted to be friends and not lose that (this came after considering marriage, which scared the key out of both of us), and the other was about 8 years older than me. neither one was a big money grabber- the older one actually spend somewhere in the range of 4 times as much on me as I spent on her. I only slept with one (the older one- so sue me, I was trying to be a good guy to the younger one and do things 'properly'), and that wasn't spectacular, at least not to start- it took a lot of coaching on both sides to get the sex life up to spec. things like "don't put your teeth there" and "make sure your hand is wet first" and so on. thats a pretty small sample, and it doesn't really show a trend for me in any way but that thai women aren't the legends in the sack that everybody thinks unless you've taught them what it is you like, or you don't know any better. after talking to some of them about this, it seems like it's a cultural thing to not talk about sex except with close friends, so I can see how the knowledge doesn't really get passed on, etc.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that the stereotype of thai women being whores only applies to thai women who *are* whores.

and now for some fun: what about reversing the stereotypes on the people that are trying to make fun of us? like the stereotype that if you have a western girlfriend, you're completely pussy-whipped, she's bitchy about everything, and if you try to stand up for yourself she'll sue you for everything, take the kids (if there are any), put you in prison and still make you pay child support, and then go on oprah (or the local equivelant) to be hailed as a hero for womankind? I don't mean any offense to anyone reading this, whatever the nationality, but that's a stereotype I'd kind of like to see, just because it would ruffle so many feathers.

[Acquiesce]

again.

for u doubters! what do u tink single guys cum to thailnd for? the one s that pay their own munney to get here, not the working dudes. t hais know it, the world kows it yet the peeple here seem not to know it.

ps.

ps . did u guys get warnings for yr agressive posts, u r breaking the rules..........lol.

English language is the only acceptable language on thaivisa.com, except of course in the Thai Language Forum where Thai is encouraged.

You won't be warned again.

[Shango1]

Hi.

Just want to say - it works for gays as well. I am a farang who is not too old yet (just 32) and have a thai boyfriend who is two years younger, we have been together (yes even live together) since SEVEN years.

Once we went along with some people to Pathpong - of all places, into one of these sex-show type establishments where the other guys, who visited from Australia, seeked entertainment. In there the mama-san tried to get both me and my BF to have a girl sitting beside us too (and have us pay them overly expensive drinks). So my BF, who is normally rather shy about it to strangers, told her to keep her girls because he and me are a couple. That wasn't a reason for her to stop bothering! She kept talking to him in Thai.

Later when we left that place he told me all about it - she had in lots of details explained to him "how to maximize his profit" from me, how to make sure i give him money and buy him jewelry, and what stories to invent for more of the same, such as the famous "mother needs an operation" story. Unfortunately for that b!tch i know my BF's parents well....

The other way 'round, when i mention to fellow Farangs that i have a thai BOYFRIEND they only hear "boy" - and the questions that are coming in rapid successions are:

- you have only ONE boy?

- is he a ladyboy or a man?

- which bar you got him from? (!!!)

- he is from Isan, right?

- does he pay his own food?

Sorry folks, he's born in Bangkok, original Thai (no Chinese in his ancestry, not that i would mind it), never worked in "the industry" and will never, a real guy who doesn't even act gay (unlike myself) and he has his own job and salary (he even has a couple of credit cards, which he rarely uses - i don't have that!). True he supports his family (his dad just died a few months ago) as most Thais do (and what i value about them!) so yes, i pay most of our things in Bangkok - but he has NEVER asked a single Baht from me, neither did anyone in his family! And we are seven years together and have no problems.

Best regards.....

Thanh

You lucky bastard does this guy have a sister?

[blizzard]

pretending to be moderator is a serious offense sir!

[Captain Chaos]

again.

for u doubters! what do u tink single guys cum to thailnd for? the one s that pay their own munney to get here, not the working dudes. t hais know it, the world kows it yet the peeple here seem not to know it.

ps.

ps . did u guys get warnings for yr agressive posts, u r breaking the rules..........lol.

English language is the only acceptable language on thaivisa.com, except of course in the Thai Language Forum where Thai is encouraged.

You won't be warned again.

Before you ban him, can you translate his post into English as I haven't got a clue what he's on about

[cdnvic]

pretending to be moderator is a serious offense sir!

Ah... so you can speak English when not trolling.

[rixalex]

again.

for u doubters! what do u tink single guys cum to thailnd for? the one s that pay their own munney to get here, not the working dudes. t hais know it, the world kows it yet the peeple here seem not to know it.

ps.

ps . did u guys get warnings for yr agressive posts, u r breaking the rules..........lol.

English language is the only acceptable language on thaivisa.com, except of course in the Thai Language Forum where Thai is encouraged.

You won't be warned again.

Before you ban him, can you translate his post into English as I haven't got a clue what he's on about

I wouldn't waste your time trying to figure it out. People who can't bring themselves to write proper English for fear of sounding "unhip", obviously have the mentality of a pre-pubescent schoolkid. Enuff sed.

[Manchester]

Let it not be said that racism is dead, it is unfortunately still here , throughout the world. Those who have the need to feel racially superior are at the least, inferior; they are the losers as history has shown countless times.

What has this thread got to do with racism? Can't you find another thread to pollute?

It's very much to do with race, if you don't see that then your a baffoon.

Hahahahhaha! Thats funny. You need to learn how to spell before you comment on BUFFOONS.

Classic !

[blizzard]

baffoon is korrect spelling sir!

[bino]

Live your life and ignore the muppets.

A topic that rises out the ashes every couple of months. BM answers in the best and most final way.

Yup- defiinitely a topic that comes up a few times a year. I loved a response in a previous thread. Can't remember who posted it (or find it again) to give credit where credit is due though.

When asked how much you paid for her;

"I don't remember exactly, but probably three times more than you paid for yours if quality and appearance are any indication!"

Britmaveric is right on too. Who cares what anyone thinks. <deleted> em.