Having Servants... It Doesn't Feel Weird?

[TonyLeung]

A couple of questions about having servants in your home.

1. Doesn't it feel weird to have a non family member in your home and personal areas and spending large amounts of time around your family?

2. Doesn't it feel weird to order someone around and have them below you? To be honest, I feel strange just going into a restaurant and spending 5000 baht when I know the person serving me makes that in a month and will never be able to afford dining in the same restaurant. I guess that is the nature of the world and I am not going to pay 5000 baht for him to eat dinner with me, but that constant reminder of how bad some people have it that would come with having servants living with you... it seems like that would get depressing.

This brings me to a third question. I am only 22 so maybe I have more learning to do but....

Whenever I go to stores or restaurants or just walk down the street and see people doing minimum wage type jobs, or the types of jobs a monkey could do, or the type of job you wake up and go to for 40 hours a week until you die, the types of jobs that 90% of the people on earth do it depresses me. I don't know these people do it everyday. So, I am sort of cynical towards them like "What is wrong with you that you can come here everyday and do this?"

Edited December 13, 2007 by TonyLeung

[Jingthing]

All kinds of work bring more dignity than not working. The really depressing part is so many people on earth have no realistic way of working out of desperate circumstances.

[DirkGently]

Wow! A post from jingthing that does not mention his visa status.

Edited December 13, 2007 by DirkGently

[Jingthing]

Wow! A post from jingthing that does not mention his visa status.

O vey

I should not talk about visas on Thai visa?

Sorry, Tony, you have a good topic. Servant hiring guilt.

Edited December 13, 2007 by Jingthing

[paulsmithson]

I am shagging the maid. Shagging the cook. shagging t next door neighbours wife.

Tenneee cheewit dee mahk

[TonyLeung]

so youre shagging everyone but your wife?

[Pepe']

I am shagging the maid. Shagging the cook. shagging t next door neighbours wife.

Tenneee cheewit dee mahk

_______________________

My long time buddy that's been in LOS since 1967 always said one of the rules of living in LOS was

"Never shag the main because then she'll want a maid too."

PS My x - mother in law was ripped off for money and jewelry on several different occasions that I know of by maids and nannies.

They were then escorted "back to the rice fields" by her son who is a local cop...

[chicowoodduck]

A couple of questions about having servants in your home.

1. Doesn't it feel weird to have a non family member in your home and personal areas and spending large amounts of time around your family?

2. Doesn't it feel weird to order someone around and have them below you? To be honest, I feel strange just going into a restaurant and spending 5000 baht when I know the person serving me makes that in a month and will never be able to afford dining in the same restaurant. I guess that is the nature of the world and I am not going to pay 5000 baht for him to eat dinner with me, but that constant reminder of how bad some people have it that would come with having servants living with you... it seems like that would get depressing.

This brings me to a third question. I am only 22 so maybe I have more learning to do but....

Whenever I go to stores or restaurants or just walk down the street and see people doing minimum wage type jobs, or the types of jobs a monkey could do, or the type of job you wake up and go to for 40 hours a week until you die, the types of jobs that 90% of the people on earth do it depresses me. I don't know these people do it everyday. So, I am sort of cynical towards them like "What is wrong with you that you can come here everyday and do this?"

It felt weird for about a nano second and than I got over it! After all, I had my my brothers and sister doing most of my home chores while growing-up anyway. Just enjoying the family extention now.

[SoCal]

For one, I never looked at my maid, nanny or driver as a servant. They are employees. Did have to educate the wife on that a bit however.

To answer your questions:

1) No it doesn't feel wierd to have a non-family member hanging around. There are lines, but in many ways these people become extensions of the family if they are with you long enough.

2) I don't see it as ordering people around. You define their job role, they have a job to perform, and they are compensated for doing their job. I guess you have never been a manager in a company, or an employee for that matter. How is the maid in my house any different than the cleaner of my office?

3) Not everyone has the pleasure to sit around and philosophize like you. They need to feed themselves and their families. Just because these people lack the resources to make themselves a better life does not make them any less. Rather pompous of you, but I guess you have lived some charmed life.

PS- Jobs a monkey can do? You must have a rather high estimation of monkeys.

[Wolfie]

so youre shagging everyone but your wife?

Looks like it, but dont worry... i make sure his wife is kept happy in the bedroom department

[LinkPopularity]

well, I get the point ... I don't have servants in the house for that specific reason. (the stranger in the house, not the guilt part)

My girlfriend gets annoyed with me sometimes, as she does all the cleaning, but then again ... she also doesn't want a stranger in the house ...

[Furbie]

A couple of questions about having servants in your home.

1. Doesn't it feel weird to have a non family member in your home and personal areas and spending large amounts of time around your family?

2. Doesn't it feel weird to order someone around and have them below you? To be honest, I feel strange just going into a restaurant and spending 5000 baht when I know the person serving me makes that in a month and will never be able to afford dining in the same restaurant. I guess that is the nature of the world and I am not going to pay 5000 baht for him to eat dinner with me, but that constant reminder of how bad some people have it that would come with having servants living with you... it seems like that would get depressing.

This brings me to a third question. I am only 22 so maybe I have more learning to do but....

Whenever I go to stores or restaurants or just walk down the street and see people doing minimum wage type jobs, or the types of jobs a monkey could do, or the type of job you wake up and go to for 40 hours a week until you die, the types of jobs that 90% of the people on earth do it depresses me. I don't know these people do it everyday. So, I am sort of cynical towards them like "What is wrong with you that you can come here everyday and do this?"

Question 1) When I had a live-in, it was just too strange having her patter around the house at all hours. Not to mention I could not feel comfortable on the coach in my underwear, and dates always felt uncomfortable having the maid there if they were spending the night.

Question 2) Not at all, its called management. I do it at work, I do it at home.

As to your further statement - I have no problems spending the money I earn. I went to Uni, took out loans, worked hard at an entry level job, got promoted above my peers, moved to a better job....No one came along and said here you go, live it up. Even when I got to Thailand, I spent many a hour (100s to be truthful) in Thai language class so I could improve my circumstances, while buddies where out having a good time. Why should I feel guilty about enjoying what I have achieved? My TV alone is worth more than my maid makes in 18 months, belive me, I still smile everytime I turn it on.

[PhilHarries]

This brings me to a third question. I am only 22 so maybe I have more learning to do but....

Whenever I go to stores or restaurants or just walk down the street and see people doing minimum wage type jobs, or the types of jobs a monkey could do, or the type of job you wake up and go to for 40 hours a week until you die, the types of jobs that 90% of the people on earth do it depresses me. I don't know these people do it everyday. So, I am sort of cynical towards them like "What is wrong with you that you can come here everyday and do this?"

Can't comment on the maid bit as I've never had one. The missus always took care of the domestic with a little help from me as she wasn't the sort to be cleaning the house while I read the paper and drank a beer.

I don't have any feelings of superiority over people doing low class work. I just thank God they are willing to do it that I may be spared the experience of slaving my life away for a pittance. I also feel a deep sorrow for them in that, no matter how hard or diligently they work, they will NEVER rise up from that position of servitude. Next time the garbage truck comes and your trash is taken away think to yourself "what would I do if nobody did that job for me?".

I have always worked in this part of the world on a very comfortable expat deal but try not to rub it in the faces of the locals I work with. It galls me when I hear colleagues saying things like "How much was it? Ten dollars US? Ppppfffftttt! Peanuts, mere buttons". Ten dollars is a lot of money to the majority of the world's population. Every one of us should set aside a brief moment in each day to reflect on our situation and appreciate the little people a bit more.

As for TonyLeung, remember the golden rule : "Never sh@g the crew". It creates imbalances within the social structure of the workplace, but I think you were just joking anyway. You were weren't you?

[mrtoad]

This brings me to a third question. I am only 22 so maybe I have more learning to do but....

I think I'll take most of what you say with a pinch of salt. Last week you claimed you were 45 years old.

[maccaroni man]

This brings me to a third question. I am only 22 so maybe I have more learning to do but....

I think I'll take most of what you say with a pinch of salt. Last week you claimed you were 45 years old.

Correct, this OP "troll" is the guy who wrote that he went to boarding school, is rich and ......still can not form a correct sentence.

[Chang_paarp]

If you see the people who work with you as servants you will find it hard to develop a positive relationship with them.

If you see them as employees who are doing a worth while job, saving you time to concentrate on things to improve you life. They free you from have to do things you may not enjoy, OK they do not earn a lot by your standards, but the have honourable work. The positive self image that it builds in these people can not be dismissed, also it gives them the opportunity to educate their kids so the kids have the opportunity to improve their lot in life.

So stop thinking of them as feudal serfs, but part of the team that makes your life in LOS much better than it could be in many other parts of the world.

If having someone around all the time disturbs you, get a maid who does not live in. You can do as a friend of mine does, give the maid a 5 day working week most of the time, thus giving yourself some privacy for 2 days a week, this way you walk around naked, bring home an assortment of "friends", all at once if you like and not upset the sensibilities of your maid just the neighbours who will give the maid and your significant other a full report the next time they see them.

[markwhite]

I guess that is the nature of the world and I am not going to pay 5000 baht for him to eat dinner with me

Well you could change the way that works. But it's up to you - not the world.

I don't know these people do it everyday. So, I am sort of cynical towards them like "What is wrong with you that you can come here everyday and do this?"

Everybody is at a different stage of personal development as a result of all of the influences they've experienced whilst maturing - social, education, peers, etc.

My wife recently gave the example of her sister who had a minimal education and has always lived in a small village, rarely leaving it at all. She's recently bought a washing machine and we were talking about why she doesn't do laundry for others to supplement her income. My wife said she probably would have no concept that people pay for this as she's never seen it done and has only just made the move from washing by hand to a washing machine, and doesn't have the mental skills to figure out how to do something that she has no existing concept of. That sounds harsh but I'm struggling for more appropriate words.

You appear to have had an education encouraging you to question stuff (you said this in a previous post about people bringing up kids in Thailand), you've used this either to generate a significant income or funds for yourself (in another post I think you said you were 'rich', and here you say you would pay 5000 baht on a meal which is not something poor people do) or you've come into money through some other means. I don't think it's unfair to assume you've had more life experience in some ways than, say, my wife's sister - you've seen other ways of living and can use that knowledge to compare different ways of living and maybe learn from them. Which is what you're asking here.

But as you've pointed out, you are 22 and you have a lifetime of maturing in front of you. Not that I'm singleing (sp?) you out as I'm 39 and also have a lifetime of maturing in front of me, and I think everyone is in the same boat and learns at different rates, or sometimes not at all.

I found that with maturity I am losing that cynicism but there are some things I still feel confused about, or get angry or a little depressed about. I don't blame people for not knowing what I know, but then I don't think that knowing what I know makes me anything out of the ordinary. Ultimately we are all just people trying to find the best path in life and making mistakes as we go as a part of learning what is 'best' for us. Some people have a head start because of their upbringing; others don't. Some learn everything they can and continue living there lives in a way which confuses others, so appearances can often mean nothing.

I found this interesting as one (of many) explanations about the stages people go through as they develop. It won't suit everyone's viewpoint, but that's just how it is:

http://www.cook-greuter.com/9%20levels%20o...te%201%2007.pdf

[Prakanong]

I was very uncomfortable in Thailand with "Servants" coming from a very working class north east England mining town - we had a maid and 3 houseboy's

This has gone some way to stopping me getting a maid in Singapore.

I will get a part time maid after Chinese New Year though just for 2 sessions a month.

[MrSquigle]

I sometimes fell a little guilty when the maid is cutting the grass with the hand shears blade by blade almost.

But then I see the finished job and it looks wondeful and no greenhouse gases burnt.

[tolsti]

TonyLeung....What a total load of utter pretentious drivel. Go get a job and stop worrying your little head about things you can never hope to understand.... and just hope that you are treated as an employee and not a servant.

[naka]

No problem at all ... Just another employee ! They just work in/around my house

instead of the factory.

Oh, and the OP is a dill.

Naka.

Edited December 14, 2007 by naka

[JacknDanny]

No problem at all ... Just another employee ! They just work in/around my house

instead of the factory.

Oh, and the OP is a dill.

Naka.

Agreed on ALL points

[Dakhar]

No problem at all ... Just another employee ! They just work in/around my house

instead of the factory.

Oh, and the OP is a dill.

Naka.

AMEN

[JetsetBkk]

so youre shagging everyone but your wife?

Looks like it, but dont worry... i make sure his wife is kept happy in the bedroom department

So you're going to take her to a furniture shop and buy her something for the bedroom?

[Gary A]

I have no idea. Never had one, never wanted one and never will have one.

[bina]

don't have any feelings of superiority over people doing low class work.

i dont see any work as low class. work is the proper means to put food on the table and kids through school. wheeling and dealing and lying and manipulating, well, THAT IS LOW CLASS. manual labour is good honest labour . (i've been on kibbutz 22 yrs so socialist ideals have stuck ).

never had a maid, never could stand the thought of someone in my house (only allowed this year on kibbutz as was seen as bourgeois til now) ; in my eyes, a corporate manager of an international company gets the same treatment from me as does the russians that work on the garbage truck in th morning (they make more money then me too! so does the plumber for that matter. ).

or the type of job you wake up and go to for 40 hours a week until you die, the types of jobs that 90% of the people on earth do it depresses me. I don't know these people do it everyday. So, I am sort of cynical towards them like "What is wrong with you that you can come here everyday and do this?"

whats wrong with them?? its called sending the kid to school, paying for doctor's bills, putting food on the table, buying clothes, maybe having a hobby (if they are in the bracket that does hobbies adn such) so that the boring work week gives them time to do interesting things in their lives and not everyone is fortunate to become a doctor or lawyer or internet specialist whether its cause they lack the intelligence, or the money to educate themselves, or the ambition (in my case) or the luck (need that too) or they are lazy, or whatever,........

lets see how long u would last working for me scooping out goat and donkey yards w/o having half a brain and a good understanding of animals.... and physical endurance rain shine heat cold wind

and u know what, if the kibbbutz falls apart, i may find myself cleaning villas in the nearby area; cleaning ladies make large amounts of money per hour.... i just dont do windows....

dont be depressed tony, go out and get a job, son....

bina

israel

[ignoramus]

This is the second time tonight I find you irresistible Tone baby. I think I am attracted to you in some weird kind of way, and it's concerning....

You know the feeling - you see a face you just want to punch. No talk, no discussion, just a punch.

You read a post and you just want to go phaww, yawn, then go to beddy-byes.

A dill? Yes, that's relatively close to what I had in mind. Tonight's reading of your posts stirred a memory of previous posts of yours...I'm getting close to the answer...but if you don't mind could you post another feeble troll before I go to bed? Just so's I can get a proper handle...On the other hand I could just ignore everything you say from here on out..yeah, this sounds wise.

I'm thinking sicko...but it's not quite what I want...do you harbour a secret desire to write sci-fi maybe?

I'm thinking total fantasy-world stuff.

Are you frustrated, did you shame yourself back home...were you unloved...is payback the go maybe...at society that is...did she do you wrong...mummy that is? Or you just a nasty piece of work, and loving it?

I am impressed though, as some posters actually you seriously, and that's got to give you a mini rush.

Amazing how some posters completely miss the drift.

Don't believe for a nanosecond that U R 22 wiv dough. Reckon you are a sad one though.

If you do in fact have dough - as per your other post tonight - resist the impulse to discuss or hint at it. Try not to lower the tone here. Most of us are people. You don't give the impression of being 'people'. Most of us want the locals to accept us, or at least tolerate us. Reckon you don't care, and that can't be good.

[cm-happy]

Just another under achieiving, insecure, little man that likes to TROLL, worthy of the ignore button. TV membership is wising up about the OP! Next post 0 replies, 0 reads! except for maybe the noobs.

Fancies himself to the Manor born, watched too many episodes of "Upstairs, Downstairs" Tony?

Curious thread, however, from someone who may have been in service himself.

Edited December 14, 2007 by cm-happy

[jetjock]

No problem at all ... Just another employee ! They just work in/around my house

instead of the factory.

Oh, and the OP is a dill.

Naka.

Thanks to you posters, I am always learning new British type slang here on TV. Had to look that one up and got the definition 'fool or idiot'. I like that word 'dill' as it sounds more polite than the definition !

[yorkman]

Just another under achieiving, insecure, little man that likes to TROLL, worthy of the ignore button. TV membership is wising up about the OP! Next post 0 replies, 0 reads! except for maybe the noobs.

and still they fall for it see here http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=158649

Honestly, its about time the mods kicked him out, funny as it may be to see how many can be "trolled", "hooked" or whatever