I've Finally Found Her...

[The Gentleman Scamp]

DAY 31

BkkMadness, some very very good points.

She's not here now BTW, she's - you guessed it, asleep.

What I will say, she hasn't or doesn't look down on those who work in 7-Eleven but she is just lazy to do all that work for such rubbish money and because she used to get money so easily that probably doesn't help toward her laziness.

She hasn't worked for a year and doesn't want to go back to working in a bar, even if it meant more money for us - and besides, I couldn't handle her working like that again having known and cared about her-let alone while we were still together.

We would have to be starving, and just over a week ago we were starving but we survived and she did have pride, enough pride to not eat toilet roll and water and enough pride to give me a slap when I suggested it.

She's got a lot of pride although I think a lot of it is just a refusal to lose face.

She did show interest in finding a job when we first got here but it soon waned and it's probably due to the fact she'll only be here for another three weeks so it's not really worth it in her opinion, not for three weeks - still, an extra 1,000 a week is not to be sniffed at.

I should have put a post on the local forum asking where she could work. She never wanted a job for money but just to make friends and occupy her time, but not in 7-Eleven!

Head Snake (Great avatar btw) - you want to hear more from her?

I'll ask.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I have no bias toward how people make their money GS, but you are the one who is whingeing about how lazy she is. Have you showed her those postsyou made. It is very easy to shoot down any argument against her and blame it on some 'hate of bargirls'.(especially if a causian female dares to give a view). The majority of young Thai women earn less than 10,000 baht a month. Why is she different? And have you asked to meet her father? Of course she loves her father! No one has suggested differently. I can't imagine why she had to tell us that. Have you asked her what she wants her life to be like? Sleeping all day and watching movies all night? That is not healthy. I think she meant she could earn 100,000 baht a month with her electronics degree. Why doesn't she? Also, any young woman in the world, anywhere, can earn ten times what she earns in an ordinary job, by becoming a prostitute. Young women working at the equivalent of 7-11 in the west, earn a pittance, but they do it.

For what it's worth I do believe she has a father in Ireland.

She's always going on about Lynette - her Irish stepmum and their daughter who is her half Thai half Irish baby stepsister.

I did have dooubts when she first mentioned him and a money transfer so I more than understand if others are rubbing their chins but the way she goes on about her family combined with her utter frankness, honesty and think it/say it attitude she's had from day 1 - convince me that it's true.

That's not to say that she's never had a fling with a handsome young Irish guy or that she never will again, which she has also mentioned - and three months is a long time to be away.

But Polly I couldn't agree more than laziness and TV is not healthy - untidy room/untidy brain I always say.

She still thinks that life will be easy and she'll fall on her feet and she can work in Ireland, make lots of money and come back and run a bar.

I wish life was that easy.

P.S. Both Ning and I wrongly assumed you were a Hi-So Thai girl. Sorry.

[Polly]

She hasn't worked for a yearQUOTE]Someone really ought to tell her that most people don't want to work, but unfortunately it is a fact of life that if you want to eat, you must work.

and she did have pride, enough pride to not eat toilet roll and water and enough pride to give me a slap when I suggested it.

That is pride? You have a strange definition of pride.

Can you ask Ning what is so terrible about 7-11? The thing she does not like about it is that she could get a job there.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

and she did have pride, enough pride to not eat toilet roll and water and enough pride to give me a slap when I suggested it.

That is pride? You have a strange definition of pride.

Can you ask Ning what is so terrible about 7-11? The thing she does not like about it is that she could get a job there.

It's a strange definition of pride, granted, but it's all I could think of at the time.

For example, she didn't want to tell the sewing machine lady that I could not afford to pick up my re-tailored shirts (That were previously too big) until the end of the month because she would 'lose face' - aside from being a little petty and rediculous, isn't losing face the same as having too much pride?

Silly I know, considering her past life but then we're thinking along farang lines, the only lines we know.

No matter how skint I was in the U.K... I never resorted to working in a McDonalds - possibly for the same reason ing doesn't want to work in a 7.

I had worked in McDonalds when I was 16 and briefly again out of desperation when I was 19 and vowed never to do so again... Too much pride? ...Or simply refusal to succumb to being a corporate slave knowing that I could do so much better and therefore trying my best to do so.

A few weeks later I was selling mobile phones.

[IamMaiC]

What's the big deal so she don't want to work at a 7 11 but sounds to me she wouldn't think twice about going to the old racket again 100000 baht to 5000 baht a month

dosen't sound good scamp

[The Gentleman Scamp]

What's the big deal so she don't want to work at a 7 11 but sounds to me she wouldn't think twice about going to the old racket again 100000 baht to 5000 baht a month

dosen't sound good scamp

Twice?

She's thought about it several times since she quit in July 2003 but has decided it isn't worth it - otherwise I'm sure she'd be doing it now, especially now of all times.

[Polly]

I really don't care what her past life was. It is in the past, but this is the present. I am not trying to be unkind to her. I fully believe she has an Irish family. That is hardly the point. The point is that she would rather have nothing to eat than work. Are 7-11's and prostitution the only choices of a job for girls in Thailand who have a university degree? Of course they aren't! It is a fair point that she is going away soon, so does not want to look for a job at the moment, but what about the previous eleven months?

I think you will find that she thinks she has been working. Just a fill in job until she goes to Ireland.

[stroll]

I had similar issues with my gf, but when it came to it, I wasn't happy for her to do some menial work 6 days a week for less than 1/10 the money I'd make without much stress. She does take pride in doing most of the housework instead, though.

But Ning will only be there another 3 weeks, no point pushing her to work now or wanting her to change.

Better enjoy the time together now the way you are!

[The Gentleman Scamp]

but what about the previous eleven months?

Polly - Spending her 'winnings' - she made and saved a lot which she lived on for a year without working.

Unless you call working playing pool for money against farang in her friends bar.

Stroll - good point, there's no reason why she couldn't do a bit more around the home but having said that I don't want a maid - nor do I want to sound like a chauvenist.

[donx]

I've been enjoying this thread from the beginning. Everyday I look to see what's the latest with Scampy and Ning. I've only posted once very early in this thread. The reason I'm commenting again now is that ever since I heard Ning has been planning to leave for Ireland, the same thought that Polly just expressed has been in my mind. As for the last year, I would assume being with the Swedish boyfriend would explain why she didn't hold an actual job.

[IamMaiC]

What's the big deal so she don't want to work at a 7 11  but sounds to me she wouldn't think twice about going to the old racket again  100000 baht to 5000 baht  a month 

dosen't sound good scamp

Twice?

She's thought about it several times since she quit in July 2003 but has decided it isn't worth it - otherwise I'm sure she'd be doing it now, especially now of all times.

I live in the states scamp I was watching a talk show and the man on the program had a family he had a geat job making tons of money then he got laid off he was only looking for the money job and didn't even consider getting a job to pay the bills, at least now the bills have doubled and probably even tripled by now and he still does not have a job his family is suffering in my opinion, hey i don't have the greatest job actually i have two jobs

well i don't know how many times your gf has thought about it doing that job again, i was just saying twice. but say she works at 7-11 she is still making money?? true? I would rather make some money at a job i don't like too well than sit at home making no money.

My wife who is Thai is now waiting for her visa being issued to her She has an interview on Nov 2 All she talks about is getting a job in the US She has been not working for a year now. I could not stand just sitting at home doing nothing , even if i was rich i would still probably work.

[Narachon]

I had worked in McDonalds when I was 16 and briefly again out of desperation when I was 19 and vowed never to do so again... Too much pride? ...Or simply refusal to succumb to being a corporate slave knowing that I could do so much better and therefore trying my best to do so.

A few weeks later I was selling mobile phones.

McDonalds was my very first job as a teen before I went off to College, the Money was crap,and it is really not a long term career goal. Lots of things go on in the back that customers don't know about and don't what to know..... For example, I once dropped a bunch of frozen hamburger paddies on the floor by accident, and when I was going to throw them out, the manager yelled at me, saying that they are still good, just wash them off...

I was getting paid only $3.75 an hour in 1986 dollars, I can only imagine what the wages are for Macdonald's employees in Thailand in 2004 baht...

Sorry, off Topic! Back to the Scampy and Ning show....

( BTW, This may have been answered before here, but just how much is the average salary for a regular 7-11 employee in Thailand? )

[bkkmadness]

I think she meant she could earn 100,000 baht a month with her electronics degree.

If that's the case fair enough but I don't think it's possible for her to earn that kind of cash with the electronics degree, and definately not straight away, that's a large wage for a Thai, very large. I think she's definately meaning to work in a bar. If I'm wrong here Scamp, let us know.

We would have to be starving, and just over a week ago we were starving but we survived and she did have pride, enough pride to not eat toilet roll and water and enough pride to give me a slap when I suggested it.

For what it's worth I do believe she has a father in Ireland.

She's always going on about Lynette - her Irish stepmum and their daughter who is her half Thai half Irish baby stepsister.

I did have dooubts when she first mentioned him and a money transfer so I more than understand if others are rubbing their chins but the way she goes on about her family combined with her utter frankness, honesty and think it/say it attitude she's had from day 1 - convince me that it's true.

Of course it could easily be true, it is easy for us to be over cynical.

She's got a lot of pride although I think a lot of it is just a refusal to lose face.

Think it's just sheer laziness and the lose face thing is just an excuse.

For example, she didn't want to tell the sewing machine lady that I could not afford to pick up my re-tailored shirts (That were previously too big) until the end of the month because she would 'lose face' - aside from being a little petty and rediculous, isn't losing face the same as having too much pride?

Silly I know, considering her past life but then we're thinking along farang lines, the only lines we know.

I think farang lines and thai lines are not as different than you think, loss of face is the same in the west as it is here, but it's named differently, still comes down to pride and often too much of it. In Europe people who have no money often don't want to show they have no money, same thing. She's got pride but not in the right way about many things, and she takes no responsibilty over it. She is too proud to lose face by looking skint, but not proud enough to get a job and help you both out. I'd admire the girl a lot more if she worked a hard days graft for a s.h.i.t wage than just sleeping at home, watching you struggle to bring in enough money. I'd admire the girl more if she instead of not eating toilet roll when you are both starving to work and help put food in your mouths.

( BTW, This may have been answered before here, but just how much is the average salary for a regular 7-11 employee in Thailand?  )

Not sure Narachon, you looking for a job? I think Mac Donalds is about 28 baht an hour, not much, but two hours work is filling two starving stomachs.

As for the last year, I would assume being with the Swedish boyfriend would explain why she didn't hold an actual job.

And I would assume having Scamp for the last month would explain why she's not worked for the last month.

I think you will find that she thinks she has been working. Just a fill in job until she goes to Ireland.

Sounds harsh, but I have to agree with Polly, she calls it how she see's it. Scamp, think about your pride, don't be the fill in job.

[nogutsnoapplepie]

7 years in Asia and I think it's time to go home.Dublin,Ireland here I come.

[stroll]

"Sounds harsh, but I have to agree with Polly, she calls it how she see's it. Scamp, think about your pride, don't be the fill in job."

I don't think this is a fair comment. There is not much money to be extracted from GS, if she had money on her mind, she wouldn't be with him. Looks like she just enjoys his company? Everything else is unfounded speculation.

[bkkmadness]

Stroll, fair point, and I don't think we should specualte too much either. I don't think extracting money from Scamp is her job, but let's face it, she's got a roof to live under, food in stomach, few beers and a bit of pool. It's an easy bed to doss in until she goes to Ireland.

I do think Polly made a good point, and to be honest I agree with her, but your quite right, we shouldn't let our speculation run wild, let's keep it to the facts.

[alleypanda]

Bkkmadness,I totally agree with you.Thank god that not all girls turn to be a bar girl instead of working in 7 11 or low paying job .

GScamp, have you seen her visa to Ireland in her passport?

[stroll]

Presumably she'll go with her father to the embassy in Bkk?

Suspense is mounting, will Scampy be able to verify the identity of the mysterious stranger? The trip to Dublin, fact or fiction, and with whom? For how long had she really known about this before revealing her plan to GS?

Read all about it in future posts in this very thread!

[Coffee Dude]

It will be over soon enough though.

Yep

Coffee!!!

[nogutsnoapplepie]

Presumably she'll go with her father to the embassy in Bkk?

Suspense is mounting, will Scampy be able to verify the identity of the mysterious stranger? The trip to Dublin, fact or fiction, and with whom? For how long had she really known about this before revealing her plan to GS?

Read all about it in future posts in this very thread!

Maybe Ning and I could be on the same flight!!! Is there still a pic of here so I can look out for her?

Luck of the Irish.

[alleypanda]

Is that easy to get a Uk tourist visa for a young girl who has no regular job? Even you have a father there! I will stay tune, very exciting.

the current waiting period for non-settlement application interviews is 6-7 weeks and the current waiting period for settlement application interviews is 12 weeks.

When she going to leave for Ireland, again? 15 th oct? 3 weeks from now.

[nogutsnoapplepie]

Travelling to Ireland as a tourist

If you are a Visa-required national and you would like to visit Ireland for a short period (less than 3 months) you should present the following documents with your visa application:

A letter from the person(s) inviting you to Ireland. This letter should include contact details of the person(s), proposed dates for your stay and details of where you will be staying.

OR

Confirmation of a hotel booking containing the dates of your proposed stay.

Evidence that you have sufficient funds to maintain yourself during your stay in Ireland. This should be in the form of a bank/building society statement or equivalent document.

OR

A Letter from the person(s) undertaking to support you financially during your stay in Ireland. The Reference may be requested to show that they have sufficient funds to do this (e.g. a bank statement).

Evidence that you are obliged to return to your country of residence. This can take the form of a letter from your employer detailing when you are expected to return to work or a letter from a college specifying the date on which your course of study re-commences. If you do not work or study a letter from a person in authority may be sufficient.

Three recent passport sized photographs

Returning flight details/itinerary. However, do not purchase an air-ticket or confirm your flight until your application is approved.

Applicant's original passport

Visa fee of THB 3,320 (per person) for single entry visa and THB 5,440 for multiple entry visa.

The fee is not refundable whether the visa is approved or not.

For faxing and photocopying, the communication cost is THB 400 (per person)

The standard processing time for a tourist visa application takes approximately 3 weeks. However, if the application is to be referred to Dublin, it can take up to 4 to 6 weeks.

Please ensure that everything is in order and all documentation is submitted in full.

http://www.irelandinthailand.com/touristvisa.html

[The Gentleman Scamp]

If what she used to earn in the past is anything to go by then maybe from her POV I have saved 93,000 bht by being with her for 31 nights?

Just kidding.

BTW: She says she had been single over a year when we met.

[IamMaiC]

If what she used to earn in the past is anything to go by then maybe from her POV I have saved 93,000 bht by being with her for 31 nights?

Just kidding.

BTW: She says she had been single over a year when we met.

Scamp How long were you single before you met Ning?

[stroll]

By her standards or his?

[IamMaiC]

By her standards or his?

His Stroll

[Pablo H]

GS, been reading this thread with interest as I have not long come out of a relationship which sounds very similar to the one you are in now. My advice to you is get out. Let this woman go to Ireland to meet another unfortunate guy.

When you talk of pride, in my opinion most bargirls or former bargirls just dont grasp the concept, as for trust, is there a word in the Thai language for it. In the time I have spent there I havent seen much of this, even among the general population nevermind bargirls.

"you too good for me", the alarm bells should have been ringing when she first said this to you. Its probably one of the true things she has said to you though, so give her some credit for that.

Cut your losses and let her go, remember the good times, remember the bad times and find another gf. You should listen to your friends advice and try and meet a "normal" girl through introductions from other friends, Really there is very little hope of a sustaining a long term relationship with a bar girl.

I have not long came out of a relationship with a bargirl, took her from the bar, pushed her into real work, tried to explain the meaning of pride and trust. Two years we stayed together, like any normal couple we had our ups and downs. I had to go and work in a neighbouring country for a short while, before leaving she swore her undying love for me. Found out within a week of me leaving she had already slept with two other guys. Now that is after two years away from the bar. Man, it hurt like ###### when I found out but there is only one way forward.

You are lucky, you are young and you have got potential to do something with your life. Get the "waster" out of your life and find a woman who is good enough for you.

good luck mate

[Head Snake]

GS, Yes, I'd like to hear more from Ning. We need to setup some questions for her.

What is her future plans (5 years, 10 years) ? Or is it day to day?

What is her opinion about how Thai people view falangs? Are falangs considered to be wretched lascivious men in general? Does she find the falang way better/worse compared to normal Thai life?

My thai gf thinks in 10-15 years, the falang influence will lessen thai culture. Does she think Thais would rather have less falang tourists and less business with falang companies in their country?

It sounds like she is a good looking woman. Does she feel this helps her or hinders her?

Ask her to tell some funny stories about your relationship. What makes her attracted to the Scamp?

Thanks,

Snake

[skydiver77]

Who is this guy. Maybe he should stop flogging the bishop and extract his head from out of his butt.

But if it`s true, then good luck.

Her past life has got nothing to do with him. It`s the here and now he should concentrate on.

There are some super ladies out there. I regard myself as very fortunate to have shared in the life of an amazing lady for over 25yrs. She was just a girl heading for BKK from Surin, trying to make a better life.

Our stunner daughter, in the UK, speaks great Thai. I`m still stuck on basic stuff.

Time to stop rambling.

[Polly]

I don't think this is a fair comment. There is not much money to be extracted from GS, if she had money on her mind, she wouldn't be with him. Looks like she just enjoys his company? Everything else is unfounded speculation.

She has just had to find somewhere to live until she sets out on her next adventure. He is the one who posted all her negative qualities. He now says that she lived for one year on her 'winnings' (his quote) from her bargirl activities. Obviously she had gone though it all when she met him. Why else would they be starving? I can't imaging why he is so stuck on a girl, whom he obviously doesn't like that much (see his middle postings).