From Leno.......last Friday

---Last night John Kerry held a midnight rally in Ohio right after the Republican Convention...John Kerry giving a speech at midnight - how hard was it to stay awake at that?

---Today John Kerry campaigned in 3 states. Anger, denial, and indecision.

---The response to Dick Cheney’s speech was given by John Edwards. You see that, proving once again, wherever there’s a guy in an ambulance, a trial lawyer can’t be far behind.

---There’s the difference between the Democratic and the Republican Convention. You know you’re at the Republican Convention when the largest breasts in the room belong to Michael Moore.

---Earlier in the day, yesterday, President Bush was also in Queens, New York. I think this is where President Bush gets a little confused. Like he told the residents of Queens that while he respects their lifestyle, he’s still against them getting married.

---They said the problem with President Clinton, what was happening was not enough blood was getting to his heart. Gee, I wonder where it was going?

---Anyway, they’re going to bypass his heart. So this could turn him into a Republican.

---You know what’s sad? Clinton was supposed to go on a tour of upstate New York this weekend with Hillary, now he has to spend it in bed with a bunch of nurses around. Ruined his weekend.

( And I don't usually find Jay Leno that funny..... )