If Your Daughter's Boyfriend Beat Her Up?

[dee123]

Invite him over, drug him, cut his brain out and serve it up to him.

What, a geriatric welsh actor..??

[dee123]

Unlike most of the posters here,

a. It actually happened. My daughter was 18 and about six months pregnant with their first child, about to graduate from high school, very much in love, and confused. He punched her in the lower abdomen, hard.

b. We are Christians, nonviolent, pacifist, peace-makers, and I taught her to love the enemy. If I had not passed this test, I would have had a miserable relationship with my son-in-law forever.

My wife called me at work, and I immediately left work after calling the work place of the boy's father, leaving word that he had a family emergency of the highest priority and must go home at once.

I went home, put my daughter on the back of my Yamaha 550, and we went to the boyfriend's house, where his grief-stricken parents met us in the living room with a very repentant, remorseful young man.

We talked at length, with the father making it clear that he had never taught the boy to hit a woman, and the boy promised to never do it again. We decided to trust him. He never hit her again (the deal was he would not get a second forgiveness if he hit her again). He has spent the last 24 years at home, taking care of the three children, cooking and cleaning (his family is Mexican-American and he's a real man).

Oh, and back to the day we discovered she was pregnant. National Honor Society officer, straight A student, etc. Her boyfriend came rushing into the hospital (he knew she was pregnant, and an abortion or adoption was out of the question). When I entered the hospital room and he saw me, he was afraid I would harm him, seriously. I said, "I forgive you, and I love you." We hugged and when we had the later conversation about hitting my daughter, he knew I did not hate him.

Hate kills. Love saves. I prefer loving my enemies. You really should try it. Love works.

good on you peace blondie ....credit where credits due...

[onethailand]

Nice one PB.

My parents were missionaries. so I grew up trying to be different.

While I agree with what you did - in my case I would still kick the boy's ass.

[Pepe']

I never could fathom the concept of "putting my hands on a woman" or anyone who is weaker than myself.

Bloody lip, black eye. Sorry I don't think love is the answer.

Maybe a good talking to first.

Depending on the response, maybe a bloody lip or black eye later.

Ask your daughter. Did she cheat on him? Did she provoke him? Not that either justifies his actions but their may be mitigating circumstances.

Like maybe she was doing his best friend and got caught...

[ade100]

Unlike most of the posters here,

a. It actually happened. My daughter was 18 and about six months pregnant with their first child, about to graduate from high school, very much in love, and confused. He punched her in the lower abdomen, hard.

b. We are Christians, nonviolent, pacifist, peace-makers, and I taught her to love the enemy. If I had not passed this test, I would have had a miserable relationship with my son-in-law forever.

My wife called me at work, and I immediately left work after calling the work place of the boy's father, leaving word that he had a family emergency of the highest priority and must go home at once.

I went home, put my daughter on the back of my Yamaha 550, and we went to the boyfriend's house, where his grief-stricken parents met us in the living room with a very repentant, remorseful young man.

We talked at length, with the father making it clear that he had never taught the boy to hit a woman, and the boy promised to never do it again. We decided to trust him. He never hit her again (the deal was he would not get a second forgiveness if he hit her again). He has spent the last 24 years at home, taking care of the three children, cooking and cleaning (his family is Mexican-American and he's a real man).

Oh, and back to the day we discovered she was pregnant. National Honor Society officer, straight A student, etc. Her boyfriend came rushing into the hospital (he knew she was pregnant, and an abortion or adoption was out of the question). When I entered the hospital room and he saw me, he was afraid I would harm him, seriously. I said, "I forgive you, and I love you." We hugged and when we had the later conversation about hitting my daughter, he knew I did not hate him.

Hate kills. Love saves. I prefer loving my enemies. You really should try it. Love works.

I was just about to make a little quip along the lines of "This is Thailand, just be glad he didn't shoot her" until I read the post above. Look, just do what this guy says and forget about all the other posts.

[haybilly]

Regardless of who the bf's family were - end the relationship and file charges with the police - which would be pressed to court.

However, both our daughter and our son are a way off 18 yet, but they are being taught the limits of the behaviour to accept from others and the limit of their behaviour too others.

Abuse is not something we are leaving to be dealt with on the day if/when it occurs.

Not to denegrate your , usually sound, answer, sometimes these things happen before one has had the time/luxury to have 'covered' it before--I am a stepfather to 3 mature parents [ nowadays] in UK and, as I say, sometimes unpleasant situations can come right out of the blue.

[haybilly]

Unlike most of the posters here,

a. It actually happened. My daughter was 18 and about six months pregnant with their first child, about to graduate from high school, very much in love, and confused. He punched her in the lower abdomen, hard.

b. We are Christians, nonviolent, pacifist, peace-makers, and I taught her to love the enemy. If I had not passed this test, I would have had a miserable relationship with my son-in-law forever.

My wife called me at work, and I immediately left work after calling the work place of the boy's father, leaving word that he had a family emergency of the highest priority and must go home at once.

I went home, put my daughter on the back of my Yamaha 550, and we went to the boyfriend's house, where his grief-stricken parents met us in the living room with a very repentant, remorseful young man.

We talked at length, with the father making it clear that he had never taught the boy to hit a woman, and the boy promised to never do it again. We decided to trust him. He never hit her again (the deal was he would not get a second forgiveness if he hit her again). He has spent the last 24 years at home, taking care of the three children, cooking and cleaning (his family is Mexican-American and he's a real man).

Oh, and back to the day we discovered she was pregnant. National Honor Society officer, straight A student, etc. Her boyfriend came rushing into the hospital (he knew she was pregnant, and an abortion or adoption was out of the question). When I entered the hospital room and he saw me, he was afraid I would harm him, seriously. I said, "I forgive you, and I love you." We hugged and when we had the later conversation about hitting my daughter, he knew I did not hate him.

Hate kills. Love saves. I prefer loving my enemies. You really should try it. Love works.

Well, that is probably the best answer to a topic I have read--unfortunately, as is often the case born out of very unpleasant circumstances-- I salute you PB, I only wish I was half the person you obviously are as, I'm afraid, my response would probably not have been so evenhanded--and, as an afterthought, in this 'Thailand 'I wonder how your incredibly good intentions would be received?

[TheDon]

[Pepe']

Unlike most of the posters here,

a. It actually happened. My daughter was 18 and about six months pregnant with their first child, about to graduate from high school, very much in love, and confused. He punched her in the lower abdomen, hard.

b. We are Christians, nonviolent, pacifist, peace-makers, and I taught her to love the enemy. If I had not passed this test, I would have had a miserable relationship with my son-in-law forever.

My wife called me at work, and I immediately left work after calling the work place of the boy's father, leaving word that he had a family emergency of the highest priority and must go home at once.

I went home, put my daughter on the back of my Yamaha 550, and we went to the boyfriend's house, where his grief-stricken parents met us in the living room with a very repentant, remorseful young man.

We talked at length, with the father making it clear that he had never taught the boy to hit a woman, and the boy promised to never do it again. We decided to trust him. He never hit her again (the deal was he would not get a second forgiveness if he hit her again). He has spent the last 24 years at home, taking care of the three children, cooking and cleaning (his family is Mexican-American and he's a real man).

Oh, and back to the day we discovered she was pregnant. National Honor Society officer, straight A student, etc. Her boyfriend came rushing into the hospital (he knew she was pregnant, and an abortion or adoption was out of the question). When I entered the hospital room and he saw me, he was afraid I would harm him, seriously. I said, "I forgive you, and I love you." We hugged and when we had the later conversation about hitting my daughter, he knew I did not hate him.

Hate kills. Love saves. I prefer loving my enemies. You really should try it. Love works.

--------------------

Just hypothetically of course. I walk up to to bash you in the face and you have another stroke. You would love this enemy?

I don't buy it...

[TheDon]

loving your enemy is BS, If someone came up and punched you in the face for no reason you would do nothing?

Destroy your enemy!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pepe']

In general violence is the lowest form of human consciousness.

When defending children, the very old or other wise weak violence is an appropriate response.

If you're really against violence try to stop eating dead rotting carcasses first...

[TheDon]

Violence solved problems.

Someone hit you you hit them back

Someone hits someone in your family you hit them back

You kids mess up and pain in the asses, you hit them

Violence IMO is also like medicine, you can beat the stupidness out of people

[Pepe']

Unfortunately here in the US if a parent threatens to hit their kid, most of them threaten to call CPS Child protection services.

We got the sht beat out of us when we were kids, definitely deserved most of it. Loved my old man and glad he had the vision to beat some sense into me...

[PeaceBlondie]

Just hypothetically of course. I walk up to to bash you in the face and you have another stroke. You would love this enemy?

I don't buy it...

Yes, Pepe, I already love my enemies and my friends. My faith says I have to obey my Master. Obedience is not just some convenient, occasional indulgence. It has worked for Amish, Mennonites, Hutterite, and countless other Christians for almost 2,000 years. Also, because pacifists never have the alternative to hate and kill their enemies, they are far less likely to make enemies. You know, it agrees with the imperative, "First, do no harm."

[TheDon]

Just hypothetically of course. I walk up to to bash you in the face and you have another stroke. You would love this enemy?

I don't buy it...

Yes, Pepe, I already love my enemies and my friends. My faith says I have to obey my Master. Obedience is not just some convenient, occasional indulgence. It has worked for Amish, Mennonites, Hutterite, and countless other Christians for almost 2,000 years. Also, because pacifists never have the alternative to hate and kill their enemies, they are far less likely to make enemies. You know, it agrees with the imperative, "First, do no harm."

Not sure, but that sounds alittle SOFT to me.

[PadThaiGuy]

Anybody smacking around a girl will have big problems if I am nearby.

[PeaceBlondie]

Just hypothetically of course. I walk up to to bash you in the face and you have another stroke. You would love this enemy?

I don't buy it...

Yes, Pepe, I already love my enemies and my friends. My faith says I have to obey my Master. Obedience is not just some convenient, occasional indulgence. It has worked for Amish, Mennonites, Hutterite, and countless other Christians for almost 2,000 years. Also, because pacifists never have the alternative to hate and kill their enemies, they are far less likely to make enemies. You know, it agrees with the imperative, "First, do no harm."

Not sure, but that sounds a little SOFT to me.

Yes, softer than punching a guy in the face. The founder of a major world's religion was soft, not striking back when the high priest or the Roman soldiers hit him. Was the Lord Buddha a Muay Thai boxer or a street fighter during his enlightened period?

[donna]

i dated a thai guy a few years ago. one day he hit me hard with a back hand forearm across my ear and jaw. nearly knocked me off my chair. man did that hurt.

that was the last time i laid eyes on the prick.

i told his family what happened, and they still love me like a daughter. his aunt is one of my best thai friends in bangkok. his family lost a lot of respect for him after that incident, and i believe it wasnt the first, nor the last, of such from this a$$hole.

my advice to any father, parent, friend etc who has a loved one in that situation is to get them out of it as soon as possible. the first time will NOT be the last time in MOST cases.

[Pepe']

Just hypothetically of course. I walk up to to bash you in the face and you have another stroke. You would love this enemy?

I don't buy it...

Yes, Pepe, I already love my enemies and my friends. My faith says I have to obey my Master. Obedience is not just some convenient, occasional indulgence. It has worked for Amish, Mennonites, Hutterite, and countless other Christians for almost 2,000 years. Also, because pacifists never have the alternative to hate and kill their enemies, they are far less likely to make enemies. You know, it agrees with the imperative, "First, do no harm."

-------------------

I hope we can at least agree to disagree. In my profession yes "First do no harm" is imperative and I do practice that way, Although in the field we both know it doesn't mean much to many doctors.

I'm old now. But I used to like to fight I was trained and competed and was pretty good at it. Those days are gone now.

However if I see a man beating and blooding a woman I will stick my neck out and kick their qss. We can't all be the same. So let's keep profession and religion separate.

I understand your position but just don't agree with it.

The world would certainly be a much better place if everyone, that is every single person believed as you do.

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way here...

[Beardog]

He would of course be subject to a beating.

it is Turkish custom to stab below the arse.

What if hes got no legs?

He'd be spasticated and Paul Mcartney would marry him.

Not sure if Paul would marry him after his recent lawsuit ---that cost him an arm & a LEG

[Cuban]

>...it is Turkish custom to stab below the arse.

Stabbing above the waist is considered attempted murder.

Just aim for the femoral artery?

[TokyoT]

How about hiring a group of ladyboys to rape the prick.

On a more serious note – my main concern would be attempting to get her out of that relationship for good, and avoiding getting into similar relationships in the future. Then there would be a call to the local authorities as well.

[Neeranam]

He would of course be subject to a beating.

it is Turkish custom to stab below the arse.

What if hes got no legs?

He'd be spasticated and Paul Mcartney would marry him.

Not sure if Paul would marry him after his recent lawsuit ---that cost him an arm & a LEG

In an interview about his failed marriage, Sir Paul McCartney

was asked if he would ever go down on one knee again

In response he said, "I'd prefer it if you called her Heather."

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present

that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg

for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a

plane but then he gave her a Ladyshave for the other leg.

[PeaceBlondie]

I do not recommend any person, male or female, Thai or farang, staying in a relationship where they are being beaten.

I would like to ask, though, on the basis of what the posters here have already recommended (and forget the when it is right after a suggestion to kill or maim) - which recommendations on this topic so far, are in accord with the ethical imperatives given in Scripture by the Buddha or the Christ?

[a2396]

These battered women seem to have a tough time untangling themselves from such relationships. I had one friend who attempted suicide over her arrogant jerk of a boyfriend and went right back to him for more abuse later. Still with him, as far as I know.

[Pepe']

I do not recommend any person, male or female, Thai or farang, staying in a relationship where they are being beaten.

I would like to ask, though, on the basis of what the posters here have already recommended (and forget the when it is right after a suggestion to kill or maim) - which recommendations on this topic so far, are in accord with the ethical imperatives given in Scripture by the Buddha or the Christ?

--------------

I never suggested to kill or maim. However a good Qss kicking is sometimes in order.

More over and more seriously this discussion is not governed by the imperatives given in scriptures that you may hold sacred.

Like I said, if I bashed your face in and you had another stroke your ensuing love and forgiveness of me sounds like BS.

Just My opinion.

If I'm wrong then I stand corrected...

[Neeranam]

If my daughter was beaten up by an 18 year old boy, I would probably beat him up.

I know what Buddha and Christ would do, but I'm not them yet.

Maybe in 10 years I'll be able to control myself but now I probably couldn't.

Golden rules where I come from - never hit a woman or grass on your friends - I've been brought up to punish those who do. It hard, but not impossible for a leopard to change it's spots.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

He would of course be subject to a beating.

it is Turkish custom to stab below the arse.

What if hes got no legs?

He'd be spasticated and Paul Mcartney would marry him.

He wouldn't have a leg to stand on

[girlx]

i know of a couple of (farang) girls who were beaten pretty badly by their (thai) boyfriends, and the parents were just like "whatever you want to do with your life is up to you honey"... i was pretty shocked at that. i don't have kids but i imagine if i did i would kill the mofo who hurt them.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

He would of course be subject to a beating.

it is Turkish custom to stab below the arse.

What if hes got no legs?

He'd be spasticated and Paul Mcartney would marry him.

Not sure if Paul would marry him after his recent lawsuit ---that cost him an arm & a LEG

In an interview about his failed marriage, Sir Paul McCartney

was asked if he would ever go down on one knee again

In response he said, "I'd prefer it if you called her Heather."

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present

that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg

for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a

plane but then he gave her a Ladyshave for the other leg.

I thought that her name was really Eileen.