Oh dear!

Oh dear!

And that was the clean version...............

Oh dear!

And that was the clean version...............

yeah & it was also done without my very poorly done accents

The Ashes 2010: Australia v England, second Test,

Second Test, day five:

England (620-5 declared) beat Australia (245 & 304) by an innings and 71 runs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3sMZbsWLkA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvOtbSqeejg&feature=related

Not that I have watched the cricket much in the last few years - but what an bleating bleep of a disaster! How the bleepin bleep bleep could that bleeping happen?

Not that I have watched the cricket much in the last few years - but what an bleating bleep of a disaster! How the bleepin bleep bleep could that bleeping happen?

Ohhh crud.....<deleted> poms......guess they eventually have to win sometime though

ps: it aint over until the fat lady sings (the series, not the match)

Not that I have watched the cricket much in the last few years - but what an bleating bleep of a disaster! How the bleepin bleep bleep could that bleeping happen?

Ohhh crud.....<deleted> poms......guess they eventually have to win sometime though

ps: it aint over until the fat lady sings (the series, not the match)

Wll, I hope the Brits (well, there are some there) don't go into their shell and just look for three draws now.

Keep up the same standard as the first two matches and Australia will have to put in some hard work and make it into a really great series. I like a contest, not a walk-over.

O.M.G.........

Struth, blimey..................

The Black Caps will have the Baggy Greens, challenging them for cricket's wooden spoon soon.

Not that I have watched the cricket much in the last few years - but what an bleating bleep of a disaster! How the bleepin bleep bleep could that bleeping happen?

Ohhh crud.....<deleted> poms......guess they eventually have to win sometime though

ps: it aint over until the fat lady sings (the series, not the match)

Wll, I hope the Brits (well, there are some there) don't go into their shell and just look for three draws now.

Keep up the same standard as the first two matches and Australia will have to put in some hard work and make it into a really great series. I like a contest, not a walk-over.

Maybe the Aussies need to roll out a few of histories greats, such as David Boon, Dennis Lillee, warnie, steve roach or sterlo & a few others

Tee Heee I think it's all jolly funny really.

Tee Heee I think it's all jolly funny really.

Fark you mate & fark the horse you rode in on

I must admit, that some folk take sports very very seriously, meanwhile the rest of us just enjoy it for what it is. As B bear said, at least this puts a bit of excitment back into the game, nobody really enjoys a walk over & the Aussies have had no shortages of wins over the years.

Gunna make the holidays more interesting.

Sportwise, anyway, less zzzzzs.......

But now come on, you didn't just lose did you.......... It was a bit more than that ( smirk ,chortle )

But now come on, you didn't just lose did you.......... It was a bit more than that ( smirk ,chortle )

sure, tit twas an asss whipping, but its the first one in a very long time, unlike the poms, i mean they cop that sort of treatment quite regularly, dont they?

From the first day in public school mate...........

55555

yeah and imagine coming from that crummy cold <deleted> of a place, errr, i'd rather be an aussie, even when me krikket team is losin

From the first day in public school mate...........

Suiging - remember our septic cousins.

For you lot 'Public school' means 'Private school' of the higher order - Eton, Harrow, Winchester, Perse and so on.

Further down the scale come the Grammar schools (some private, some state run)

Then the hoi polloi in the Comprehensive school system (never touched it, meself) (I'd left skool by then)

Back to the cricket and bad-loser day .......

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/theashes/8190559/The-Ashes-2010-England-batsman-Kevin-Pietersen-handed-speeding-fine-ahead-of-third-Test-with-Australia.html

The Ashes 2010: England batsman Kevin Pietersen handed speeding fine ahead of third Test with Australia

Kevin Pietersen has been fined A$239 (£150) after the England batsman was caught speeding in Melbourne on Thursday while driving a borrowed yellow Lamborghini sports car.

By Nick Hoult 7:41AM GMT 09 Dec 2010

The car, worth around £300,000, was loaned to Pietersen by a local car dealership in a deal organised by Shane Warne.

Pietersen was given the day off on Thursday while his team-mates trained at the Melbourne Cricket Ground in preparation for their three-day match against Victoria which starts on Friday.

Pietersen spent the day driving the Great Ocean Road, one of the most picturesque motorways in the world, outside Melbourne and tweeted pictures of his trip.

But his day turned sour on the return journey when he was pulled over on the Geelong ring road by a police car and fined for travelling 121kph in a 100kph zone.

Pietersen was relaxing after his man-of-the-match performance during England's innings victory over Australia in the second Ashes Test at the Adelaide Oval. Pietersen scored 227, his highest Test score, and took the crucial wicket of Michael Clarke with his left-arm spin as Australia suffered their heaviest Ashes defeat in Australia for 40 years.

A spokesman for the England & Wales Cricket Board confirmed Pietersen had been fined. A statement from Victoria Police said: "The vehicle was detected travelling 121 in a 100kph zone. The driver was issued with a penalty notice for speeding, incurring a loss of three demerit points."

The Pietersen incident was not the only motorised scrape for the England team. The team bus hit a car park barrier when leaving the MCG today.

Speed limits are strictly enforced in Australia and earlier this year Lewis Hamilton, the Formula One driver, was fined $310 for driving offences on Victoria's roads.

OK, so Victoria police are hot on speeding. Should chase crim's, not drivers.

Lets put this in perspective - KP was driving at 74 mph on a road that would have had a 70 mph limit in UK (alright 110 kph). He would not have been looked at by a UK copper, except that he was driving a flying daffodil. (In Norfolk it'd 've been a Colman's Quickie)

Sour grapes, that's what I call it. And fancy Warney giving the old bill a tip-off.

The Aussies are calling for Warne to play again and some bloke called Len Hutton, who they've promised to give a passport if he'll turn out for them ?

Desperate or what.................

Things are getting nasty as Auistralia comes to terms with their new status.

Ian Chappell and Ian "Beefy" Botham came to blows in the car park after the match. It was the first time they've had any contact since their bar brawl about 30 years ago. (The last time England won in Oz)

Luckily for the 67 yo Chappell they were separated before any damage was done.

Talking about speeding fines, did you hear about the Brit whose last two fines were about 3 years apart and in different countries. England and New Zealand.

The same copper got him both times! He had migrated to NZ and joined the force there.

The Aussies are calling for Warne to play again and some bloke called Len Hutton, who they've promised to give a passport if he'll turn out for them ?

Desperate or what.................

I remember a time when England were copping a hiding from Lillee and Thompson and they called up an old, fat, retired bloke called Colin Cowdrey. He waddled out to the pitch covered head to toe in cricket pads and from what I recall got more runs than anyone else.

Warnie still rolls his arm over in India for the big bucks every year, and is better than any of the clowns who call themselves spin bowlers in Australia these days.

He would have been a great captain, head and shoulders above Waugh, Ponting and Clarke, if only he hadn't been a complete <deleted> in his private life.

The Aussies are calling for Warne to play again and some bloke called Len Hutton, who they've promised to give a passport if he'll turn out for them ?

Desperate or what.................

I remember a time when England were copping a hiding from Lillee and Thompson and they called up an old, fat, retired bloke called Colin Cowdrey. He waddled out to the pitch covered head to toe in cricket pads and from what I recall got more runs than anyone else.

Warnie still rolls his arm over in India for the big bucks every year, and is better than any of the clowns who call themselves spin bowlers in Australia these days.

He would have been a great captain, head and shoulders above Waugh, Ponting and Clarke, if only he hadn't been a complete <deleted> in his private life.

All true. Waugh on Channel 9 made a complete cock of himself, slagging off his own team........ Dick

Talking about speeding fines, did you hear about the Brit whose last two fines were about 3 years apart and in different countries. England and New Zealand.

The same copper got him both times! He had migrated to NZ and joined the force there.

Maybe the guy (driver) feels a little paranoid.

(While the copper feels a larger sheep)

Read this headline - thought it was Maggie Beer !!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/australia/8193246/The-Ashes-2010-with-no-Shane-Warne-to-call-on-Australia-turn-to-Michael-Beer-for-third-Test.html

The Ashes 2010 :

with no Shane Warne to call on, Australia turn to Michael Beer for third Test

The name SK Warne was missing from the media release revealing the 12-man Australia squad for the third Ashes Test in Perth but his influence was glaringly obvious.

By Nick Hoult 7:25AM GMT 10 Dec 2010

The beleaguered Australia selectors decided against gambling on the old Warne to be the new Warne by picking Michael Beer, a left-arm spinner who has played only four Sheffield Shield matches for Western Australia, taking 11 wickets for nearly 40 runs each.

If he makes the final 11, Beer will become the tenth spinner selected in Test cricket by Australia since Warne’s retirement four years ago. He replaced the latest to try and fail, Xavier Doherty, who was dropped after two Tests and looks set to live with a bowling average of 102.

Just like Doherty, Beer has emerged from obscurity to be named in an Ashes squad as Australia’s selectors made four changes in an effort to find a workable combination.

Nathan Hauritz, Australia’s main spin bowler until before this series, was left out of the squad again while Marcus North and Doug Bollinger were dropped. Steven Smith, the New South Wales leg-spinner and batsman, replaced North in the 13 and Phillip Hughes will open in place of the injured Simon Katich.

Beer’s selection is a major surprise and the only time he has been linked with a Test call-up was when Warne floated the suggestion in his Daily Telegraph column earlier this week.

“I'm in a state of shock,” said Allan Border, the former Australia captain and selector. “I have seen him (Beer) play a couple of one-day games but look it’s a huge surprise."

Judging by the comments from Andrew Hilditch, the Australia chairman of selectors, he seems certain to make his Test debut on his home ground next Thursday.

“Michael is a left-arm orthodox spinner who has been very impressive at domestic level this year,” said Hilditch. “He took wickets against England in the tour match earlier this summer and we expect he will bowl very well against the English on his home ground."

England may beg to differ with the view of his bowling last month. He conceded runs at five an over as England eased to victory. He did take a five-wicket haul but it cost 207 runs and he bowled only four maiden overs as he failed to fulfil a spin bowler’s primary job in Australia, bowl tidily to exert pressure.

One of his wickets was Kevin Pietersen, who fell attempting a reverse sweep, sparking yet more concerns about his fallibility to left-arm spinners, questions he comfortably answered when he faced Doherty in Brisbane and Adelaide.

Beer delivers the ball from a different trajectory to Doherty whose point of release is above his head. Beer therefore more closely recreates the angle that most often causes Pietersen problems from left-armers. Beer did also make another impression. He sledged Pietersen throughout his innings, a spiky show of confidence for a player appearing in only his third first-class match.

It is a leap of faith by Hilditch to suggest Beer’s knowledge of the conditions at the Waca will help. He only moved to Western Australia earlier this year after failing to earn a state contract with Victoria and has played just three first-class matches at the Waca.

Beer played for Warne’s club side in Melbourne, St Kilda, and was the leading wicket-taker in the Victoria premier division last year. His remarkable rise from weekend club cricket to an Ashes Test shows the dearth of spin bowling talent in Australia at the moment.

It looks as if Beer, Smith and Ben Hilfenhaus will contest the final spot in the team with Mitchell Johnson set to return to the side. If the pitch looks dry Australia may decide to select both spinners with Brad Haddin, who has been in excellent form throughout the Ashes series, taking North’s place in the order at number six.

Hughes has played one Test since he was dropped during the Ashes series in England last year. He has struggled for form in state cricket and has an average of 28.14 from seven Sheffield Shield innings this season. England will test out his weakness against the short ball, the reason why he lost his place last year, although the absence of Stuart Broad will give Hughes an easier ride.

“I will back him over any other player in Australian cricket,” Justin Langer, the Australia batting coach said. "I hope England keep taunting him."

"When the pressure is on and he absolutely has to score runs, he does. He is a little fighter. It's fine for them to say they have these plans (for Hughes) but they've still got to execute them."

Australia squad: Shane Watson, Phillip Hughes, Ricky Ponting (capt), Michael Clarke, Michael Hussey, Brad Haddin (wk), Steven Smith, Mitchell Johnson, Ryan Harris, Peter Siddle, Michael Beer, Ben Hilfenhaus

(For those who don't watch Aussie TV - Maggie Beere is a celebrity cook (not chef) who has parlayed her time on TV into a provisions business of gourmet foods, was Australian Senior Citizen of the year a couple of years ago and lives in Barrossa Valley among all the vineyards. A very successful woman, but no left-arm spin bowler.

(Wonder if Michael Beer is anything like a left-arm spin bowler?)

Talkin of warnie, see he's in the spotlight again.......seems little shane's got him in trouble again half his luck.

I applaud any side that takes beer out to the middle...........that's my kind of Cricket ( rugby, football, rounders, well anything really )

I was told that the next test is in Perth.

I thought the snow was extra heavy, extra early in Scotland this year.

Ah well, the red ball should show up against the 30cm snow layer. Creases will be a problem though.

And it's being played at the Whacker. That was my old headmaster's weapon - but he's long gone by now. Wonder where the whacker is?

Talkin of warnie, see he's in the spotlight again.......seems little shane's got him in trouble again half his luck.

Banging Liz Hurley is one thing, but getting divorced over that scrubber is reeeedikerlouse. (Maybe he'll have to sell the Lambo now?)

Young Liz is certainly not " Divine" when it comes to certain aspects..............

Young Liz is certainly not " Divine" when it comes to certain aspects..............

Are you telling us you would rather 'play cricket' with warnie?

Liz is alright, she'd look alright swingin off the end of it in the moonlight. Plenty of cash too, makes her even more attractive (I'sure thats how it works in these parts)