Football

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 09:49:34 +0000

The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen and hopefully win Liverpool the title.

One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20 mins left.

The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 mins and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

Hello mum, guess what?" he say's. " I played for 20 mins today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mum, " Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed, beaten and then interfered with and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time."

The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"