You Know You Are In Thailand When....

[toybits]

crinkle cut fries - RIGHT?

Replying to You Know You Are In Thailand When....

...reflexes the insufficiency to understand, let alone, living the Thai Ways.

[bonobo]

You know you are in Thailand when the bloke sat on his own at the bar tells you he used to be SAS...

Not all. Some were Navy SEALS.

[bonobo]

When you watch television and someone on the screen has a smoking cigarette in his hand. As he raises it to his mouth to take a puff, it magically disappears in a blob of blur!

[grantbkk]

You know you're in Thailand: If you are not 100% sure it's going to be a fart don't take the chance.

[t.s]

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts

" What we have here is failure to communicate" substitute 'Uni' for 'school' and all ambiguity is eliminated

Even if his gf was 18 and still in "school" it would not make him a pedophile. That term should be reserved for prepubescents.

you know you are in thailand when forum posters endlessly discuss the nuances of pedophilia

[HorseDoctor]

.....When women with breasts the size of bee stings are binding their chests with an inch of molded propylene foam, wire and nylon bras in 30 degree heat,

And women with breasts the size of pendulating watermelons are strolling around topless.

[HorseDoctor]

When you watch television and someone on the screen has a smoking cigarette in his hand. As he raises it to his mouth to take a puff, it magically disappears in a blob of blur!

Yeah, cigarette in mouth BAD! Dead, mangled body, OK !!

[polecat]

When you watch television and someone on the screen has a smoking cigarette in his hand. As he raises it to his mouth to take a puff, it magically disappears in a blob of blur!

Oh, this is nothing to do with Thailand. It's part of Maigo6's world domination strategy.

[lazygourmet]

When October is coming; and you do not have to think anymore about ordering a truck, to fill up your house (central heating) fuel tank...

[loong]

You know etc etc

When tables, chairs, ironing boards and even microwave ovens have tatty bits of polythene sheet hanging off them where they've been covered before assembly.

It's impossible to get rid of unless you take the thing totally apart.

[Birdman]

You know etc etc

When tables, chairs, ironing boards and even microwave ovens have tatty bits of polythene sheet hanging off them where they've been covered before assembly.

It's impossible to get rid of unless you take the thing totally apart.

...so, many people do not take it of.

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when your minibus driver is driving and plucking his facial hair with 2 satang coins.....

You know youare in Thailand when stop signs and stop lights are just a suggestion....

[Tod Daniels]

When your internet connection goes down and you call your ISP only to hear in broken thai-engrish, "Internet in world down now..."

or

when you call because your speed is 20% of what you pay for and they say, "Internet A-me-li-ka busy today alot."

Edited February 26, 2009 by tod-daniels

[eek]

You know you are in Thailand when you start finding most western food bland and you get a craving for rice for breakfast.

[Birdman]

You know you are in Thailand when you start finding most western food bland and you get a craving for rice for breakfast.

Add chilli powder. Back home for holidays a chili shaker was always in the inner pocket of my jacket.

[BigSnake]

You carry toilet tissue in your pocket, because you darn you don't want to be caught empty handed done number two in the toilet. If you forget your tissue a quick stop to buy a Thai Newspaper will work, a little on the backside but it is better than nothing.

[eek]

^ you still use tissue?! SOoooo much cleaner the "Thai" way

[Birdman]

^ you still use tissue?! SOoooo much cleaner the "Thai" way

some people squat on a Western toilet bowl, some people seat on a Thai toilet. I have seen that accidentally on a ferry to Samui once.

[NewLifeNY]

When your internet connection goes down and you call your ISP only to hear in broken thai-engrish, "Internet in world down now..."

or

when you call because your speed is 20% of what you pay for and they say, "Internet A-me-li-ka busy today alot."

Also....you know you are in Thailand when...You stand up for a national anthem in a movie theater.....

[polecat]

^ you still use tissue?! SOoooo much cleaner the "Thai" way

Absolutely! Spray dirty water all over your bum and up inside you, dig around with your fingers, then let a bit of tissue disintegrate over your wet skin and get lost up your clunge. Oh, and leave water that has been sprayed all over your dirty ar$e on the toilet seat for the next person to deal with.

SOooo much cleaner

Crikey...

You know you're in Thailand when you engage in pasisonate debates about the best way to clean your bum!

[bonobo]

You know etc etc

When tables, chairs, ironing boards and even microwave ovens have tatty bits of polythene sheet hanging off them where they've been covered before assembly.

It's impossible to get rid of unless you take the thing totally apart.

...so, many people do not take it of.

Like me!

[bonobo]

When your internet connection goes down and you call your ISP only to hear in broken thai-engrish, "Internet in world down now..."

or

when you call because your speed is 20% of what you pay for and they say, "Internet A-me-li-ka busy today alot."

True! Unfortunately so, but true none-the-less.

[t.s]

^ you still use tissue?! SOoooo much cleaner the "Thai" way

Absolutely! Spray dirty water all over your bum and up inside you, dig around with your fingers, then let a bit of tissue disintegrate over your wet skin and get lost up your clunge. Oh, and leave water that has been sprayed all over your dirty ar$e on the toilet seat for the next person to deal with.

SOooo much cleaner

Crikey...

You know you're in Thailand when you engage in pasisonate debates about the best way to clean your bum!

sounds like you need some practice.

[t.s]

You know you are in Thailand when you start finding most western food bland and you get a craving for rice for breakfast.

You know you are in Thailand when you start finding most western food bland and you get a craving for rice for breakfast.

Add chilli powder. Back home for holidays a chili shaker was always in the inner pocket of my jacket.

You carry toilet tissue in your pocket, because you darn you don't want to be caught empty handed done number two in the toilet. If you forget your tissue a quick stop to buy a Thai Newspaper will work, a little on the backside but it is better than nothing.

^ you still use tissue?! SOoooo much cleaner the "Thai" way

you know youare in thailand when people try to one up each other on going native

[NewLifeNY]

^ you still use tissue?! SOoooo much cleaner the "Thai" way

Wouldnt crap also get stuck on your nails etc??? nasty!

[polecat]

sounds like you need some practice.

"you know youare in thailand when people try to one up each other on going native"

[Birdman]

You know you are in Thailand when you start finding most western food bland and you get a craving for rice for breakfast.

You know you are in Thailand when you start finding most western food bland and you get a craving for rice for breakfast.

Add chilli powder. Back home for holidays a chili shaker was always in the inner pocket of my jacket.

^ you still use tissue?! SOoooo much cleaner the "Thai" way

you know youare in thailand when people try to one up each other on going native

wrong guess, t.s.

[loong]

You know............

when you see people love and play with a puppy only to hand it over when it's put on some weight for other people to eat!

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thaliand when you want to sue your friend because he cheated on a " Thai lady,business friend" of your wife.... after six months!

[eek]

No automatic desire to go "native". Ive lived in different countries since i was 16, so Thailand isnt my only experience of adapting to a new and different culture. I find that often people usually automatically start taking on some typical local behaviour over a period of time when they move somewhere (unless, i guess, you keep to yourself or your own countrymen). I think when you spend time with people from the country you are living in, then even when something at first seems strange, after a while it seems normal. I dont hold onto traditions from my childhood tooth and nail, i like to try to adjust and try out new things. Im not "native" by any stretch of the imagination, I could never be Thai, or wish to be. But I enjoy trying to learn about the culture and traditions of a country I live in, in doing so i find i automatically soak up a little of it.

Dont really see why making funny observations or talking about things that you feel have changed about yourself often brings on the 'one-upmanship' comment.

Maybe some people do feel the need to go on about how "native" they are, but I think thats a bit silly.

Sorry, rambling, bad day.

_________

You know are in Thailand when some Western men look at you with contempt, purely because you are a white Western female (sorry, but thats true). (But, at the same time, i know some really lovely Western men who are real gentlemen..and have had some nice simple interactions, such as men holding open a door for me. Always return the gesture with a smile and a thank you. )