no 18 year old is sexually attracted to a 45 year old man unless he's Johnny Depp

Thanks SBK, comments appreciated and roughly what I expected. You guessed right that I am in my 40s but only look it in harsh lighting or flash photography, the rest of the time I could claim to be in my 30s and few would argue. I'm no Johnny Depp, I'm closer to Micheal J Fox, in both looks and build, I got a bit of a cute thing going on.

All the reasons you stated for a younger girl to be attracted to an older man are correct, but there is also another possibility. For that I need to fill in a few blanks.

As I said in the OP, since the total breakdown of relations with my wife, I haven't actively been looking for a new GF for the reasons I stated in that post, plus all the potentials that have been introduced to me have come with way to much baggage for my liking.

So I am not actively looking.

After the psycho incident I needed to find a new bar for a late drink if I fancied one (the ex-pat place is dead by 9pm) A mate of mine called Steve told me that a new place had opened up just round the corner and suggested we go there, which we did. (it's call The Garden Bar Restaurant btw)

We sat down and ordered a couple of beers, which were delivered to the table by Gow, she looks at me and hits me with her best smile and *blam* I'm a gibbering wreck. Now I know that a smile in Thailand can mean many different things but when coupled with her attentiveness towards me I'm fairly certain that this one means one thing.

Ok, this goes on for a few nights and I'm way to shy to take it any further and I thought 'no, not with an 18 year old, no' .... as I said in a previous post it was a chap called Tony who broke the ice and I found out that she did want to go out with me.

At the end of that evening, on my way back from the toilet, the lady that owns 'The Garden' named June was behind the bar, so I stopped for a little chat, I asked her if she had a problem with me taking out one of her staff for a meal (she knew immediately which one) she told me that it wasn't a problem at all, but for three months it could only be food, it was her that informed me that Gow was a virgin, and then she hit me with the big one ...... did I want LT or ST? ..... whoa thinks I, this isn't that sort of place.

I'll have to finish this tonight, I need to go and do my DJ thing on the radio now.

So, lemme get this clear..she is selling her virginity? Or what?

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no 18 year old is sexually attracted to a 45 year old man

Why not? the basics are all there.

Frequency of sexual intercourse isn't the only thing a woman looks for I'm sure, which is what you're suggesting.

Men in their forties are usually physically as strong and often fitter than many younger men. Maturity counts for something surely?

What your saying is that it is more socially acceptable to have a partner your own age, peer group pressure plays a major part in choice.

Not in Thailand.

I didnt get from sbk's post that she ment frequency of sexual intercourse. Just general attraction. If an 18 yr old girl from any country had the choice of being with another 18 or so year old guy who had money, and a much older man.. she is likely to want the younger man. Now, an older man may represent security, but even so, for an 18 year old, even in Thai society, they want fun. Two 18 year olds going out having fun together is quite different from an 18 yr old and 40 yr old (even though they may still have fun together). Granted some women in their 20's want to settle down and have more security so may be attracted to an older man for those (and other) reasons, but teenagers ..thats stretching it a bit. Also, going on what i have read and been told first hand, some of the younger women who are with older men, also go out and date young Thai men of a similar age. So, if they were truly satisfied and loved and respected the older gentleman they were with, why go out with other younger men?

No, I am thnking like a woman, no 18 year old is sexually attracted to a 45 year old man (unless he's Johnny Depp, of course). If she is entering into anything it is financially based. Financial doesn't necessarily involve rich, but it does involve security.

If you are fooling yourself into thinking she is overcome with lust at the sight of your body then you are will be sadly mistaken to realize that it is purely a pragmatic arrangement.

***edit, I just need to add, I have lived here for 20 years, I am well aware of how Thai women and girls think. Considering my place in my community, and the fact that I speak the local dialect, Thai women tell me things you will never hear***

it would of course be different if Thad had the body of a Klingon...

Also, going on what i have read and been told first hand, some of the younger women who are with older men, also go out and date young Thai men of a similar age.

Oh foul and iniquitous slander, the level of the untruthfulness here is beyond measurement.

How could you suggest such a thing eek?

Oh calumny, oh defamation, oh vilest character assassination of fine young women.....

You should be ashamed of yourself eek.

:D

Ok well, never mind. You don't have to believe me if you don't want to. I can't see how my advice is so different from anything any of the men have posted but perhaps its just because the reasons I state are less palatable than theirs.

So, lemme get this clear..she is selling her virginity? Or what?

In the studio right now, so can't type much..... but in answer to that question, I have no doubt that that is Junes intention, if Gow is aware of it I don't know yet, but I am going to find out.

No, I am thnking like a woman, no 18 year old is sexually attracted to a 45 year old man (unless he's Johnny Depp, of course). If she is entering into anything it is financially based. Financial doesn't necessarily involve rich, but it does involve security.

If you are fooling yourself into thinking she is overcome with lust at the sight of your body then you are will be sadly mistaken to realize that it is purely a pragmatic arrangement.

***edit, I just need to add, I have lived here for 20 years, I am well aware of how Thai women and girls think. Considering my place in my community, and the fact that I speak the local dialect, Thai women tell me things you will never hear***

it would of course be different if Thad had the body of a Klingon...

:D Post of the day!

Ok well, never mind. You don't have to believe me if you don't want to. I can't see how my advice is so different from anything any of the men have posted but perhaps its just because the reasons I state are less palatable than theirs.

sbk, a quote for you:

"for every person who expresses their disapproval of me or my ways, there are a thousand people who do not speak up. In my eyes, that can only mean I have a 1000 - 1 approval rating."

Just woke up.

If i was in Thad's shoes (and hopefully i am not) - what the hel_l are yu doing? I am sure that you would far rather be with an older wiser woman than a poor girl who "just wants to get it over and done with" sort of.

Just had a shower and put on the rare, but virginal, white Kitty panties on....

It's two pm in Geneva... Honestly Patsy.... On a Sunday too! You should be ashamed of yourself. Now... GET TO CHURCH AND DO YOUR PENANCE!

Just had a shower and put on the rare, but virginal, white Kitty panties on....

Just had a shower and put on the rare, but virginal, white Kitty panties on....

Got to be honest I was distracted for a second.... but if you two are going to start talking like that please start your own thread .... and, please, no pictures

Oki, where where we? ..... need to speed thing up a bit... and I need to introduce two new characters.

The first one is Gai, Steves wife, who indecently is 35 his junior and they have been together for fifteen years, doesn't make mine and Gows age gap pale into insignificance, but it does cast a shadow of doubt on those that say it never works, she was 18 when she met him.

Mai pben rai.

The first lunch date got canceled, Gow said that she had a bad stomach..... so we met up later and re-arranged for the next day.

The next day got canceled, because her sister was going out for the afternoon and didn't want her to leave the house alone ...... <deleted> .... what sister? .... next character ... sister Jai who also works in the same place.

Went to 'The Garden' that night and I'm all smiles for Gow, but nothing but scowls for Jai.... got a call from Gai the next morning (they had been exchanging numbers obviously) saying that Jai was only trying to protect her sister and she wanted to make sure that I wasn't the sort of chap that was just going to use her and then throw her away.....

The furthest thing from my mind.... and since sister got included in this menage a cinq... we rearranged lunch for tomorrow, as I have been working today on the radio..

Gai got a call from Jai a little earlier, well, quite a bit earlier saying that they had both been sacked with no explanation, and could Steve and I go there after we had finished playing pool ..... this we did .... the only words we could get out of June was "Jai not like you" ....... so, that's perfectly rational isn't it.

You don't need to read between the lines to come up with the same conclusion that Steve, Gai and I did...... June was never going to be able to sell either one of them, at which point they became surplus stock.

Lunch is still on for tomorrow, or later today depending on your time zone..... I'll report back when I have something to say.

(P.S. in Isaan, family is everything for most, but there are the few individuals that would sell their own grandmother for a profit..... and that sickens me)

Oh dear... The plot is thickening, and you are now becoming involved in their lives. Involved past the "event horizon" - line of no return.

I'm staying tuned to this one...

All the best Thads.

Just as I suspected, getting involved with a teenager brings with it teenager like problems & dramas

You must be really bored out in the sticks if you are getting involved in this nonesense.

Blue kitty knickers...

Hokkani boro, also called hakk'ni panki is a term in the Romani language for "the great trick." Hokkani boro is often practiced by Romani people, or Gypsies, and is used to gain a client's trust and then his or her money.

Wow never knew that and there was me thinking they just did cr@p tarmacing jobs and left litter for councils to clean up.

My dear Thad

I wish you well and thanks for sharing this with us good folks.

Be careful out there,mate

Dave

Just as I suspected, getting involved with a teenager brings with it teenager like problems & dramas

You must be really bored out in the sticks if you are getting involved in this nonesense.

Welcome to another episode of Buriram (hang a right) 90210

Just as I suspected, getting involved with a teenager brings with it teenager like problems & dramas

You must be really bored out in the sticks if you are getting involved in this nonesense.

Well, I gave up on Airfix and Lego a long time ago, what's left.... knitting?

I've had a really nice day out today, no dramas, no simpering that I could see, there may have been a moment of petulance, but I could be mistaken.

We talked and talked for hours about what she wanted to do with her life, with more than a little help from Gai.

Guess what ..... she's still a virgin.... and she's going back to school.

Happy now?

Blue kitty knickers...

Still in the wrapper or used? ...... possibly the only item that goes up in price when the seal is broken

Why would I be happy or not? Like I said, if she wants to sleep with you it's her business. I have no vested interest beyond what you have posted for all to see & comment on but I only gave opinion based on how the situation was presented, by you.

I'm not going to sugar coat the truth of teenage girls either, you can beleive what you want but I was one not so long ago & have several neices of similar ages in both Thailand & UK so know how they tick & they aren't different on either continent. Sorry if that offends.

Sorry if that offends.

It doesn't offend at all.

I don't feel offended, I don't feel honourable by the action I have taken in the end.... but answer me this.

This is Thailand right, not some part of East Chiswick or Rickmansworth or wherever..... what happens if I discover in 12 months time that she has been to college, got knocked up by some pretty Thai boy ner do well and then dumped...... do you think I would feel good then?

Don't say it doesn't happen that often, because it does..... this is Isaan, I live here and I've seen it happen countless times.

So what are you saying... by you not sleeping with her she might do it with a someone else & manage to fuc_k up her life & that it will somehow your fault? lol. She must be really stupid & need you to save her, huh?

How about his scenario, she goes to college, meets a guy she really loves, get married, has babies & lives happily ever after. Also happens quite often too. Maybe she will, maybe she wont.

But regardless, my posts were never about you sleeping with her or not, they were about the reality of a man of your age having a relationship with an 18 year old teenager. 18 year old girls act like teenagers cause they are teenagers & they should be acting like teenagers imo.

The question for me was always "can you seriously see yourself managing to have a relationship with a teenager?". She may be sweet & even mature for her age but she is still a teenager. Maintaining a relationship with someone that age comes with a special set of problems for someone of your age.

The fact that she was possibly being pimped out was of course a worry but one that I hoped you would be wise to & not so low as to become part of, which you haven't.

what the backslapping boys opinion is,

I never was one for back slapping

Because if you are one of those fat ugly overweight over 60 buggers -

Nope, he ain't one of those

"for every person who expresses their disapproval of me or my ways, there are a thousand people who do not speak up. In my eyes, that can only mean I have a 1000 - 1 approval rating."

Nope, just a Silent Majority

My only advice Thad, is to paddle your own canoe, but there are some fairly unseemly rapids out there,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

But for a personal response, I wouldn't and I would like to think you wouldn't too.

Good Luck

Moss

My only advice Thad, is to paddle your own canoe...

strange thinking Moss. there's an 18 year old eager to pop her cherry and you advise Thad to masturbate?

How about his scenario, she goes to college, meets a guy she really loves, get married, has babies & lives happily ever after. Also happens quite often too. Maybe she will, maybe she wont.

I hope she does.

The question for me was always "can you seriously see yourself managing to have a relationship with a teenager?".

No I can't, but the fact that a teenager may want a relationship with me was seriously flattering at the time.

As a long term and usually nonjudgmental observer of human nature I can't help noticing how, almost without exception, normally cool calm and collected middle aged Farang ladies lose the plot when it comes to discussing older men and young Asian women.

Would it really have mattered if Thad had thrown a lustful leg over the young Miss?

If some dark complexioned West Indian lad does the deed on an aging Manchester matron is there any harm done?

Or is that "different"?

Using people for whatever reason is, IMO, pathetic. Regardless of the age involved. The fact is women know what its like to be a teenage girl and men do not. Please do not lecture me or Boo or any other woman here on our supposedly hysterical reaction.

And if I lost the plot in telling him that there is no way she would prefer a middle aged man over a boy her own age, then I guess I did. But again, I am speaking from an experience you cannot possibly understand. I, for one, get heartily tired of men telling me that I do not understand Thai women cause "they are different". They aren't as different as you would like to believe. Trust me on this one.

And since it seems Thad has decided to think with his big head instead of his little one, which I am glad to see, I bow out of this conversation.

**edit, I would just like to add that I also can't help but notice that normally calm and collected middle aged men lose the plot over the idea that an 18 year old girl would like to lose her virginity to an older man. Every man's fantasy and frankly, it sounds like something out of a sad porno flick. Perhaps that is the appeal after all.

Ahh... point taken

I'll withdraw from the discussion.

I think its fine to be a nonjudgmental observer, but when you get to know a person over time, its hard not to offer some advice if you think they are not thinking clearly. At times I think its even our duty to have concern for a fellow human being. Its one thing to sit back and let someone do as they wish, another thing if you think you see a potential train-wreck of a situation. Granted advice when its not sugar coated is a bitter pill to swallow, but I am sure none of the opinions stated on here were done so out of meanness. (If we had all just read this without comment or advice, and Thad had decided to be with the girl, how comfortable would any of us feel if (as is the likely scenario) he ended up in a big mess of a situation? )

I dont think anyone is losing the plot at all, its just different advice from different people. In the end it is always Thads own choice.