I'm gonna throw my 2 pence worth in now, for what it's worth.

The main problem here with this discussion is that Men and Women think totally differently about this situation.

While I respect and see the logic behind SBK's and Boo's posts, myself and most other men on this planet can not agree (it's hardwired). It's a worldwide thing with men... it's part of a older mans fantasy to get propositioned by a university student (or a woman of similar age), good looking unblemished skin, in the prime of womanhood (in looks if nothing else).

Men are quite aware of the problems with dating a younger woman, but he is prepared to overlook the problems, endure the problems, in order that he can fulfill the the criteria that his brain is telling him.

This is prevalent worldwide.. look at the 'dumb blonde' syndrome. A man is drawn to a woman with fake oversized boobs, the odd bit of plastic surgery.. or the cute blonde, blue eyed bombshell who hasn't got a clue about anything apart from beauty tips.

It's totally irrational really, the rational thing to do would be to find a woman not based on looks, or age.. but one who is good company, intelligent and capable of stimulating conversation.

I was watching Thai TV the other day and they carried out a survey with men about the women the would choose to date. I think it was something like 80% of the males questioned replied they would go for the cute, slim girl with a nose job or other plastic surgery, but who wasn't that intelligent, over the normal everyday looking woman with intelligence. That perfectly explains the males mind when it comes to picking a partner.

In conclusion... if I were in the same circumstances as Thaddy I would be taking the girl out for lunch, and I probably would be thinking along the lines of relationship... even though I know it could be difficult. However.. actually being in the same situation for real presents different variables.. so I cannot say for sure what I would do.

IMO she knows what she is entering into also, I doubt she is an unintelligent girl .. there is also probably plenty of advice for her in the background

Men and Women will never agree when it comes to this.. we just can't - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus !

Sorry if I rambled, my brain gets ahead of my typing...

Totster

IMO she knows what she is entering into also, I doubt she is an unintelligent girl .. there is also probably plenty of advice for her in the background

Oh I think that she is getting plenty of advice from Gai, Jai and her husband, but just like me she is perfectly capable of making her own mind up. She is definitely not unintelligent, the other day I asked her what she wanted to do when she finished college, you ask most of the students here that and they either don't know or the want to work in a hotel, but not sure about doing what. With Gow, she has no doubts, she wants to be an accountant, I don't know why, but I find that seriously sexy, not just the chosen profession, but the fact that she knows what she wants to do.

You may have noticed that some posts I made on this topic today were in the early hours of the morning, that's because we all met up again last night for a few beers and pool, we eventually ended up in a karaoke bar (and I hate those places) Gow was seriously squiffy after just three bottle of Spy, so I took her home while everyone else carried on partying ...... and it would have been oh so easy to take advantage, but I didn't.

I'm actually quite proud of myself for that.

Blue kitty knickers...

Still in the wrapper or used? ...... possibly the only item that goes up in price when the seal is broken

Nice one Thad, take it slow, see where it goes.

I just want to address some other comments made, about using and virginity. I can't see an evidence in this thread that Thaddy was entering into this with a thought to using anyone... and that the virginity thing has had any bearing on what has happened.

Also, I DO believe that Thai women (and quite possibly Asian women in general) are different in so much as taking a different approach to selecting a partner than a western woman. With them a lot more importance is placed on security than things that western women may place high in importance. They are more willing to fore go certain qualities such as age and looks for security

I see it here on a daily basis, and I'm not just talking farang guys with Thai women, but I see plenty of older Thai men with younger wives. There is a very wealthy Thai guy in his 70's here in the village married to a woman in her early 30's, they have a nice house and 2 lovely daughters.

I think age difference is more of a western concern. I can't think I have ever seen a bad look from a Thai woman when seeing an old man with a younger girl, yet it seems to bring a negative reaction when western women encounter it (and not just in Thailand).

I think my point is this.. yes women are going to know what makes a women tick, but on the other hand one must admit that there is a slightly different thought process going on when it comes to a Thai woman selecting a partner.. it's a cultural thing, not a female thing.

By the way, this is not meant to be insulting to the female posts in this thread, which raise some important points, nor do I want it to seem like I'm teaching anyone to suck eggs, it's just my observation

totster

My only advice Thad, is to paddle your own canoe...

strange thinking Moss. there's an 18 year old eager to pop her cherry and you advise Thad to masturbate?

Any advice needed on the paddles.............Tiggs is your man.

As a long term and usually nonjudgmental observer of human nature I can't help noticing how, almost without exception, normally cool calm and collected middle aged Farang ladies lose the plot when it comes to discussing older men and young Asian women.

I'm 33 years old, far from middle aged so you can keep your attempt at an insult & shove it. You clearly want to beleive that an 18 year old girl would be interested in an older man the same way she would be in a boy her own age, up to you but as a women who was an 18 year old girl not too many years ago, I can tell you that it is highly unlikely

But you're clearly reading what you want & not what has been written;

But regardless, my posts were never about you sleeping with her or not,

She's old enough to make her own mind up but you seem to missed the whole section of posts by thad where it was clear this girl was being pimped out or someone was trying to manipulate her into sleeping with him for financial gain. (and not for her benefit either)

"Losing the plot" lol get over yourself.

I think my point is this.. yes women are going to know what makes a women tick, but on the other hand one must admit that there is a slightly different thought process going on when it comes to a Thai woman selecting a partner.. it's a cultural thing, not a female thing.

I think you are missing the point that even though it may be culturally acceptable for a girl to enter into a relatonship with an older man, given the choice or if you were to be privvy to who she really wanted then many of you probably wouldn't like the answer.

But I'll say it again for the hard of hearing, the sex part is not an issue, she is over the age of consent but my posts are questioning the actual relalities of having a relationship with someone that young, which Thad has already addressed.

I dont usually concern myself with other peoples relationships, only if someone is opening it up for discussion. If a man is with a younger woman and vice versa, thats their business. However, when you see a VAST gap in age difference, its hard not to judge it a little. 10 years, even 20 years difference isnt something Id personally think about. Depends on the ages though. Ie: 40 year old woman with 60 year old man. Both have some life experience. But, say a 60 year old man with a 20 year old girly barbie type...well yeh..sorry..but it would make me wonder. Also, if the age is very young, ie: 16 -18 year old, and they dating someone even only 5-10 years older, well, the experience level of the teenager is much much lower. If I was a parent of a girl who was 25 and she was interested in a 40 year old, id be a little concerned but not overly worried..depends on the level of maturity (in both parties!). But if my daughter was 18 and interested in a 40 year old..well i would be concerned.

Yes ok, this is Thailand, and i am a western female, but even so I believe my viewpoints are flexible. But, some things, even if considered acceptable within a society, doesnt mean they are particularly good for either party.

That is just my humble opinion.

Btw..Thad, i do really wish you the best of luck in your life and hope you find someone who makes you happy. In the mean time, have fun, but please may i suggest to not play with fire!

I think you are missing the point that even though it may be culturally acceptable for a girl to enter into a relatonship with an older man, given the choice or if you were to be privvy to who she really wanted then many of you probably wouldn't like the answer.

C'mon boo, do you think that the men involved are so naive as to think a woman is maybe not more attracted to a young handsome thai male (normally with a womans hairstyle) that will most probably be off with all his giks for half the time..... but that attraction is physical.. the realities of the world lead them to choose a partner more suitable (financially or whatever) , whether it be farang or Thai. Life is full of unfair choices.. for everyone.

You make it sound like these women don't have free choice.. well I disagree. I think younger Thai women who chase after the older guys know exactly what they are doing (and let's not forget that the young lady in question here is educated and wants to be an accountant)... sometimes I wonder who is at the advantage ...

Totster

But, some things, even if considered acceptable within a society, doesnt mean they are particularly good for either party.

Actually eek, I agree with this. IMO most marriages or relationships between Farang and Thai fail due to a large age gap. Sometimes lives just aren't compatible, the younger wants to go dancing, drinking, sanook... the elder is happier with the quiet life.

Not saying all relationships in this category fail, because I know they don't... I think as long as you enter this kind of relationship knowing the pitfalls, and you have a good trusting relationship then the problems can be overcome IMMHO.

Totster

No I don't say men are naive but from I read on thaivisa sometimes you have to wonder.....

If you are in a relationship with a vastly younger women then be aware there is probably other motives beyond her finding you to be a sexy piece. I'm not saying they are bad reasons (from her point of view) only that the man involved can fool himself all he wants, it doesn't detract from the reality that she is making a descision based on much more practical & cynical reasons rather than following her hearts desire. That's not to say it wont make a good & fullfilling relationship for both involved but please, don't try to teach me to suck eggs.

I know women, I know what I is like to be a young girl & she may even have a crush on thad, I hear he is quite cute , but it doesn't mean that he has to take her up on it.

In this case it was apparant from Thads first post that someone was making a financial play involving this girl. She is no longer in that situation (afaik) but my view is still that being with an 18 year old brings all kinds of hassles & dramas specific to 18 year olds in general.

she may even have a crush on thad, I hear he is quite cute

One of the cutest things on the planet hon, plus I have been told many times (by the locals) that I have a smile that could stop a charging elephant in its tracks, in the village they used to call me 'the smiling man' .... it's completely natural and totally automatic. And for some reason that I have never been able to work out, for my entire adult life I have brought out the mothering instinct in most women I have ever met.

It can be a drag being this charming sometimes

If you are in a relationship with a vastly younger women then be aware there is probably other motives beyond her finding you to be a sexy piece. I'm not saying they are bad reasons (from her point of view) only that the man involved can fool himself all he wants, it doesn't detract from the reality that she is making a descision based on much more practical & cynical reasons rather than following her hearts desire.

Practical yes, cynical, not too sure about that one.

Let me fill in some other blanks.

Jai and Gow are originally from Sa Keaw, it's about 100km from here and that's where their parents still live. Jai is here because this is where her husband comes from. She saw a "Staff Wanted" sign in 'The Garden' got a job for herself and for Gow so that she could earn some money to pay for some college fees, books etc.

So that's why they are both in Ban Kruat.

Gows college is in Sa Keaw, and she really wants to go to this college, so that is where she will be off to next month.

She wants to be able to concentrate on her college work, she will be living with her parents, that she doesn't really get on with apparently, so keeping her mind focused shouldn't be a problem.

Now, this is the offer that was made yesterday, I can, if I want to, go and see her the occasional weekends and between terms and other breaks she will come back here. I was asked if I could live with that situation for three years. She is a very practical young lady and sensible way beyond her years.

Well, can I live with that?

The truth is right now that I just don't know, I'm still in the smitten stage, but we have just over a month for us both to think about it and to get to know each other better. We had lunch again today (and Jai paid, which nearly caused me to fall off the chair)

I really should start reading some other threads now

My only advice Thad, is to paddle your own canoe...

strange thinking Moss. there's an 18 year old eager to pop her cherry and you advise Thad to masturbate?

I know Klingon is a peculiar language to me, but on planet Zog where I usually reside, Paddling your own canoe means something entirely different, coupled with that, I rarely use crude or boorish language, so I would hesitate to suggest I did not allude to the afforesaid statement.

I believe in your language, you might say this to Thad

*rom*Daq SoHtaHvIS Doch Huqbogh *rom*nganpu' yIHuq.

Moss

Hey Thaddy...if you'll be passing through Kabin Buri on your way to Sa Kaew there's a certain mid 30s independent professional lady there who I'm sure would love to meet a cute and articulate gentleman. She loves spaghetti straps and mini skirts and has a body which would put a 20 year old to shame. She currently has the hots for me, but I'm married and don't need more complications. You'd be doing me a great favour as I'm running out of excuses and ways to avoid her.

Gawd, poor thaddy, the choices he has to make

Never, not in my Little Kitty knickers...

I thought you were Snow White, but it appears you drifted.

Moss

Gawd, poor thaddy, the choices he has to make

Well it beats being bored.

Latest update.

Went out for lunch again today (som tam, fried fish, very nice) Gow has been trying to find some casual work here but to no avail, for me that was not unexpected, so it came as no surprise when she said that she would be returning to Sa Keaw on Monday (she has been getting hassle from her mother to return home too) I have had my ear bent for the last few days by Steve the Scouser telling me to pay the daily rate to keep her here..... this is not an option as far as I am concerned, I neither need or want a maid, that would be a really bad way to start off a fledgling relationship, Gow said that she would if I wanted her to, but when I explained (with a little help) why I didn't think that would be a good idea, she agreed.

So the plan as of 4pm this afternoon was, she goes back home on Saturday, and I go visit her in her real home on Monday.

That changed at around 8pm tonight, I'm driving her home tomorrow .... and I get to meet Mom and Pop .... oh crap ..... string alert, string alert, string alert.

I'm driving her home tomorrow

Were you Langers when you agreed to this Thad

.... and I get to meet Mom and Pop

Run Thaddy Run

O the bricks they will bleed and the rain it will weep

And the damp Lagan fog lull the city to sleep;

It's to H_ell with the Future and live on the past:

May the Lord in all his Mercy be kind to Thad

Good Luck

Moss

Steve the Scouser might be on to something. After all, she wants money. Say it ain't so...

Steve the Scouser might be on to something. After all, she wants money. Say it ain't so...

Read it again mate.

She wants a part time job, Steve suggested I offered her one, I don't want to do that, and she doesn't want me to either.

Run Thaddy Run

Depending on Mom and Pops expectations, I will be doing just that, don't you worry.

Deary deary deary.

When will you all learn? Even m as a big fat farang lass learnt.

Got caught in my weeks colours - pink? na

Well it's friday for you guys - so Patsy goes for the red kitty knickers.

Have a good weekend thaddy, we shall all be thinking about you.

Well it's friday for you guys - so Patsy goes for the red kitty knickers.

Have a good weekend thaddy, we shall all be thinking about you.

Your good self and your knickers will be thinking about me all weekend?...... I feel suitably honoured.

Full, maybe not complete, report tomorrow...... it's been a long day.

God, i'm not gonna wear my red knickers all weekend. Yuck.

You havent't gone have you Thaddy? I can see your name up above!

Cold feet?

That time of the month again, is it Patsy?

Thads, Chok Dii my friend.

Menopause, dear

and us girlywirls do not wear the same panties all weekend.

I pack a bag myself...

You may have noticed that i have been quite quiet on this topic for a few days, it's because I have been suss of something, but I didn't get it confirmed until a few hours ago. I'm doing the DJ thing at the moment so Have no time..... I'll tell more later.

What a dangler... !

totster