Politeness And Open Doors

[dragonfly94]

[quote

I do go out everyday and I dare say that I have seen similar things to the things that you say you have seen.

I guess we have to determine what being polite is. If being polite is bassed on non verbal simple physical actions, then I have to concede that Thailand fails in that department. Have you noticed that banks, medical clinics and post offices have recently introduced a ticket system to handle the queues (lines) Thais do like to cut in front, I perosnally speak to them in their own language and they soon get back in line.

The point I was struggling to make was that if you actually speak Thai and speak Thai with Thai people you will be shocked by the politeness of the language. It is a language built on respect ( written language developed by a past king of Thailand) . Every person is considered to part of a big family within the vast rich fabric of Thai society. They do have a very polite way of speaking and interacting here.

But if you are just a newbie Farang walking fromn your condo to Big C I guess to be honest you wouldn't have have a Danny.

I do understand what you say and Thai's can say what they like, but it does not have much to do with the way the behave. Speaking Thai will not stop them pushing in, slamming doors in your face or shoving you aside to get on the number 40

[simon43]

and I put the message on his windshield...

Perhaps next time you could try fixing the message to one of his car tyres with a knife....

... or maybe attach it to a horse's head that you leave on the bonnet....

Simon

[G54]

and I put the message on his windshield...

Perhaps next time you could try fixing the message to one of his car tyres with a knife....

... or maybe attach it to a horse's head that you leave on the bonnet....

Simon

[Texpat]

Two weeks ago I bought dinner and drinks for six Thai adults, about 5K.

Only one thank you -- from my wife.

Is rudeness part of the mystical Thai charm?

Edited May 4, 2009 by Texpat

[Geekfreaklover]

Two weeks ago I bought dinner and drinks for six adults.

Only one thank you -- from my wife.

Is rudeness part of the mystical Thai charm?

I noticed the same thing when I was with the ex. The ex was not from the higher class of Thais. They never said Thank you. You are paying, That is that.

Having met a different class of Thai people over the last year. They always bring a bottle of something when they visit and when we go to resturant the bill is always split.

[Geekfreaklover]

I think the Thai people are the most polite race that I have ever come across having travelled and lived in many obscure places around the globe. It is a different type of politeness. They will not hold the door open for you but they will sit smiling at you when they completly disagree with what you are saying. - This is in my opinion a form of the highest level of politeness and only works if you speak Thai.

You should get out more and see some of the things I do. Daily I see Thais pushing in ahead of others to get served, pushing their way on and off public transport with no regard for the old or infirmed. Last week I saw a crowd pushing to get on a bus when a blind man with a stick was being helped off by the conductor, they just pushed the guy aside. Being Thai I imagined this guy could speak it! Do those who say 'when in Rome' do the same? Thais are some of the rudest people in the world and worst when they are in a group, confront them about it though and they are usually gutless and just look at you as if you are the crazy one.

Absolutely! Was just talking about this over the weekend. It's that bewildered angry look you receive when they bumble into you, like you've intentionally stepped into their path and purposely caused them to stumble! I've noticed 9/10 times it is Thai females that exhibit this behavior.

Thai females are instructed from a young age by thei family how to walk carefully and gracefully, the teaching practice is quite complex and I can't explain it here in this message.

I am sorry to presume that you are awkward Farangs bumping into local people and then blaming them for bumping into you.

Ten years in Thailand I never bumped into anyone. But then again I am always conscience of where I am going.

[TonySoprano]

but I will say that if Im walking in a busy area and someone stands on the back of my shoe its a farang everytime, I had an arab do it three times a little while back and when he walked past he turned and scowled at me, I impulsively said <deleted> you and he exploded, told me to have some manners, I said I wasnt the one that stood on my shoes three times and couldnt apologize and he stormed off

Was it Osama Bin Laden?

[Heng]

Yeah, sometimes it's a class thing, not always of course. It's not black and white as there are plenty of rude people from the upper classes. At the same time though, I don't expect someone from the 'har chao gin kam' group to serve soup before salad either though.

[Geekfreaklover]

but I will say that if Im walking in a busy area and someone stands on the back of my shoe its a farang everytime, I had an arab do it three times a little while back and when he walked past he turned and scowled at me, I impulsively said <deleted> you and he exploded, told me to have some manners, I said I wasnt the one that stood on my shoes three times and couldnt apologize and he stormed off

Was it Osama Bin Laden?

shit that made me laugh.

[dsprtliving]

I think the Thai people are the most polite race that I have ever come across having travelled and lived in many obscure places around the globe. It is a different type of politeness. They will not hold the door open for you but they will sit smiling at you when they completly disagree with what you are saying. - This is in my opinion a form of the highest level of politeness and only works if you speak Thai.

You should get out more and see some of the things I do. Daily I see Thais pushing in ahead of others to get served, pushing their way on and off public transport with no regard for the old or infirmed. Last week I saw a crowd pushing to get on a bus when a blind man with a stick was being helped off by the conductor, they just pushed the guy aside. Being Thai I imagined this guy could speak it! Do those who say 'when in Rome' do the same? Thais are some of the rudest people in the world and worst when they are in a group, confront them about it though and they are usually gutless and just look at you as if you are the crazy one.

Absolutely! Was just talking about this over the weekend. It's that bewildered angry look you receive when they bumble into you, like you've intentionally stepped into their path and purposely caused them to stumble! I've noticed 9/10 times it is Thai females that exhibit this behavior.

Thai females are instructed from a young age by thei family how to walk carefully and gracefully, the teaching practice is quite complex and I can't explain it here in this message.

I am sorry to presume that you are awkward Farangs bumping into local people and then blaming them for bumping into you.

Ten years in Thailand I never bumped into anyone. But then again I am always conscience of where I am going.

I've been in Thailand for 9 years, but i suppose that 1 extra year you've got on me makes all the difference. Further, one should never "presume" anything about anyone...especially on the internet. I find that one has to constantly be aware of where one is going in Thailand as footpaths, shopping centers, and most any free space is a minefield of potholes, cracks, and uneven pavement so if anything I'd say i'm more conscious of where i'm going here than I'd ever be at home. Awkward....never and there is no blame intended in my previous post. As i stated...i usually tense up and pause slightly and allow the blundering male or female to go ahead and walk into me when I'm tired of weaving and dodging oncoming foot traffic.

As far as "walking carefully and gracefully?" I was going to originally scoff at idea of a Somchai's Finishing School for Young Ladies, but now that i think about it....it absolutely MUST take a tremendous amount of balance and grace to traverse BTS steps wearing 5-6 inch heals every day.

Edited May 4, 2009 by dsprtliving

[Geekfreaklover]

[

I've been in Thailand for 9 years, but i suppose that 1 extra year you've got on me makes all the difference. Further, one should never "presume" anything about anyone...especially on the internet. I find that one has to constantly be aware of where one is going in Thailand as footpaths, shopping centers, and most any free space is a minefield of potholes, cracks, and uneven pavement so if anything I'd say i'm more conscious of where i'm going here than I'd ever be at home. Awkward....never and there is no blame intended in my previous post. As i stated...i usually tense up and pause slightly and allow the blundering male or female to go ahead and walk into me when I'm tired of weaving and dodging oncoming foot traffic.

As far as "walking carefully and gracefully?" I was going to originally scoff at idea of a Somchai's Finishing School for Young Ladies, but now that i think about it....it absolutely MUST take a tremendous amount of balance and grace to traverse BTS steps wearing 5-6 inch heals every day.

The extra year makes no difference whatsoever. What makes the difference is that I am able to navigate the city of Bangkok without bumping into people and then moaning about it on an internet forum. That is the difference.Plus I am honest about the length of time I have spent in this magical Kingdom.

Assumptions that every Thai women is a working lady (high heels up the BTS) does not lend your message any more WEIGHT at all. And to use the phrase 'Somchai's finishing school' pins you down as the bitter and twisted farang English teacher that we all know you are.

Sorry it is late, and you got a rise outa me.

Cheers,

GFL :

Edited May 4, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[MSingh]

On average someone is holding the door open for me 5-6 times a day. Usually bank guards, but also regular folks too, both Thai and foreign.

On the one hand, it might be politeness, and on the other hand, it might just be that it's just being 'fake.'

It's like when you see a farang picking up trash in front of a bar or club because he/she wants to set an 'example.' It's quite possible that they don't ever pick up trash otherwise from the way they get all disgusted by the slime they find on the trash. In the west, IMO a lot of times holding the door open for someone is the equivalent of when Thais give you a fake smile with no feeling behind it. I've seen plenty of folks hold the door open for good looking sorority gals but then when the gal looks like she might be on the wrestling team, no joy.

Heng, you are completely entitled to your own opinion on this & i appreciate it, but what an awful outlook on this topic...

You're Thai i presume then Heng ??

Do you honestly feel that genuine manners, something that personally speaking, was drilled into me from as long as i can remember, would only be used by people who want to be seen to be doing something good by others IE the Trash example you said, or because a Girl is good looking you'd hold a Door, but if she isn't you wouldn't ??

Heng, i'm sorry but that's an INCREDIBLY shallow way of thinking & it might be a " Thai " way of thinking, i don't know, but even if it is, it doesn't make it right in the slightest...

[Moonrakers]

The strongest and most appalling display of disregard for others that I have seen here is those who are unwilling to move or wait for an ambulance on emergency.

They could stop to let the ambulance through but NO, getting home is far more important than any person who is seriously hurt and needs help.

It is not often that I Thai bash but this is one thing that that they should be ashamed of themselves for.

[dsprtliving]

Bitter and twisted farang English teacher?? Geez, rude much? Your assumption about my career here in Thailand is incorrect and besides, I'm honestly not moaning at all...and love living here just as much as you profess to do. Perhaps i should have added more context to my message, eh? Probably doesn't help that I spend to much of my free time on the weekends around Siam. Can't really help bumping into really due to the large crowds. Finally, I added the "Somchai's finishing school" as a joke, and sorry if I offended.

[TonySoprano]

So, are there rude people in your home countries? I'm not sure I understand the point of all these posts. Of the 66 million Thais, some are not polite and others are polite. Wow, shocker! Call the press.

[TonySoprano]

Probably doesn't help that I spend to much of my free time on the weekends around Siam.

Are you one of those middle aged guys who is really into photography, where in, the focal point of all his photographs usually seem to have a scantily clad teenage Thai girl in front of, to the side of, etc? I caught one of these guys the other day, doing the "Oh, let me get a shot of this BTS staircase... Oh, are those girls wearing miniskirts?"... Maybe there is a reason you get bumped into so often...

Edited May 4, 2009 by TonySoprano

[dsprtliving]

Probably doesn't help that I spend to much of my free time on the weekends around Siam.

Are you one of those middle aged guys who is really into photography, where in, the focal point of all his photographs usually seem to have a scantily clad teenage Thai girl in front of, to the side of, etc? I caught one of these guys the other day, doing the "Oh, let me get a shot of this BTS staircase... Oh, are those girls wearing miniskirts?"... Maybe there is a reason you get bumped into so often...

Lord no! hahaha! I should probably add that i'm gay! That probably adds to my aversion to being bumped into by females.

Edited May 4, 2009 by dsprtliving

[Geekfreaklover]

Bitter and twisted farang English teacher?? Geez, rude much? Your assumption about my career here in Thailand is incorrect and besides, I'm honestly not moaning at all...and love living here just as much as you profess to do. Perhaps i should have added more context to my message, eh? Probably doesn't help that I spend to much of my free time on the weekends around Siam. Can't really help bumping into really due to the large crowds. Finally, I added the "Somchai's finishing school" as a joke, and sorry if I offended.

I retreat. No offence intended, as if being an English teacher is an offensive comment . But why get all uptight? If you are living in one of the most exciting cities in the world, it's a good place to unwind..

I can only compare Bangkok city to London where I worked for some time, and I prefer the Skytrain to the tube any day the week.

[Geekfreaklover]

Probably doesn't help that I spend to much of my free time on the weekends around Siam.

Are you one of those middle aged guys who is really into photography, where in, the focal point of all his photographs usually seem to have a scantily clad teenage Thai girl in front of, to the side of, etc? I caught one of these guys the other day, doing the "Oh, let me get a shot of this BTS staircase... Oh, are those girls wearing miniskirts?"... Maybe there is a reason you get bumped into so often...

Lord no! hahaha! I should probably add that i'm gay! That probably adds to my aversion to being bumped into by females.

The case is rested.

[Heng]

On average someone is holding the door open for me 5-6 times a day. Usually bank guards, but also regular folks too, both Thai and foreign.

On the one hand, it might be politeness, and on the other hand, it might just be that it's just being 'fake.'

It's like when you see a farang picking up trash in front of a bar or club because he/she wants to set an 'example.' It's quite possible that they don't ever pick up trash otherwise from the way they get all disgusted by the slime they find on the trash. In the west, IMO a lot of times holding the door open for someone is the equivalent of when Thais give you a fake smile with no feeling behind it. I've seen plenty of folks hold the door open for good looking sorority gals but then when the gal looks like she might be on the wrestling team, no joy.

Heng, you are completely entitled to your own opinion on this & i appreciate it, but what an awful outlook on this topic...

You're Thai i presume then Heng ??

Do you honestly feel that genuine manners, something that personally speaking, was drilled into me from as long as i can remember, would only be used by people who want to be seen to be doing something good by others IE the Trash example you said, or because a Girl is good looking you'd hold a Door, but if she isn't you wouldn't ??

Heng, i'm sorry but that's an INCREDIBLY shallow way of thinking & it might be a " Thai " way of thinking, i don't know, but even if it is, it doesn't make it right in the slightest...

I'm not saying it's right OR wrong. I'm saying that it exists, both ways. And yes, when it appears that someone is doing something just for show, but don't do the same when they don't believe anyone is looking, then it is what it is. A pretense. Fake.

[sbk]

Its interesting to see how many people assume that certain behaviors considered "good manners" in the their own countries would automatically translate to "good manners" elsewhere.

What is "good manners" changes from culture to culture and generation to generation. Your great grandparents would probably find your manners appalling because you no longer get out of the car first and go open the door for the woman to get out. Or you no longer tip your hat to a woman.

[MSingh]

Its interesting to see how many people assume that certain behaviors considered "good manners" in the their own countries would automatically translate to "good manners" elsewhere.

What is "good manners" changes from culture to culture and generation to generation. Your great grandparents would probably find your manners appalling because you no longer get out of the car first and go open the door for the woman to get out. Or you no longer tip your hat to a woman.

Very, very true sbk & i for one am admittedly naive at times to think that my manners should be the same for those of a person with a different Cultural, amongst other things, background however manners are ways of behaving with reference to polite standards & that never has or will never change, no matter what the culture or generation..

It's just how different people perceive those polite standards that gives us the different kinds of manners that there are in the World today..