Girlfriend's Ex Is A Policeman

[elektrified]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

Completely agreed. Best answer by far. But intriguing nonetheless to get a view of the mindset of some fellow forum members. If it is a troll then it was well worth it.

Can someone tell me how easy it is for a policeman to transfer from one area to another

You are focusing on the wrong thing.

[thirdeyedmt]

if she is still in contact with him, maybe she has no tightened up her deal with you as much as she would like......a monkey does not let go of one branch untill it has another one securely in its hand

[Chaimai]

Can someone tell me how easy it is for a policeman to transfer from one area to another

EASY, very easy - now move on.

[LifeConvo]

Troll post. Not rocket science is it.

[Pierrot]

Maybe you should post your dental records here, just in case ...

By the way, do you own anything of value that good friends would be willing to keep as souvenir ? Only for sentimental reasons of course ...

[richard_smith237]

Troll post. Not rocket science is it.

Neither would be responding with intelligence.. A 5 year old can accuse someone of being a Troll simply because some topic doesn't fit in their 'box'....

With so many Police officers in Thailand its more likely than not that at some point a westerner dates an ex of a Policeman.

Jealous men anywhere can be capable of anything, as can a jealous woman. I can't see how being a Police makes such a difference.

There are too many paranoid people on this forum.

IF you have first hand experience of something and the response is gloomy then fair enough. But come on, so many of the replies are from experts who have no first hand experience of anything like this and are pretty much suggesting the 'Hollywood' response that the Op is due for a huge fall if he doesn't tuck his tail between his legs, give up on his girl and run....

My tuppence worth to the Op. A lot of this is down to how your Girlfriend deals with her Ex. Don't get into an angry confrontation yourself. If you are sure of your position, stand firm and support her.

[cmdream]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

Completely agreed. Best answer by far. But intriguing nonetheless to get a view of the mindset of some fellow forum members. If it is a troll then it was well worth it.

C'mon guys , this is Thailand, lets get real ! A divorcee and a jealous Thai cop ! Only one end to this story. Best he go to Pattaya for a week to think it over :-) He just might find the answer there. Chok Dee

[venturalaw]

There are basically 2 issues that have been addressed. Whether or not your girlfriend still has a relationship with her ex, and whether or not you are safe if a policeman in Thailand desires to cause you harm.

Regarding the girlfriend issue, this is universal (not charged to Thailand exclusively) - if she is still communicating with him, and there is no reason for said communication (ie - they share child(ren)), then you have a problem that most likely will lead to the demise of your relationship (I am using the term relationship loosely because a relationship based upon a lie is no relationship).

Regarding the theory of a policeman's potential to abuse power absent consequences, in Thailand it is a virtually certainty. At best, it is not worth the risk.

[isanb]

tell him that now ur moving south thailand meaby a muslim will solve ur problem

[cm96]

Why are you so focused on how difficult it is for a policeman to be transferred? Do you really think it can be that difficult?

Even if he's not officially transferred, if he wants to come looking for you in Chiang Mai or anywhere else in Thailand, he will.

Your head is in the wrong place. Snap out of it before its too late.

[BigSnake]

Stalking is my first thought! Do Thailand have a Anti-Stalking Law, my guess is no. You/she should make a police report(to his superiors) or you or one of your good Thai Buddies could fix his up with a pretty sweet young thing(maybe two) and the dude would be to tried to stalk anybody. By all mean if it's over she should cut all contact with the guy.

[patklang]

I have red most of the posts on here,and call me a coward but she would be history by now.Why get involved with a copper,most of them are trouble.He has stated the cop is getting a pain in the neck so move away quick.

[G54]

Troll or not.....

Be it a policeman, or not also, if there is a jealous husband on the prowl and following his wife's movements to that degree, he is going to be a problem. Same would go for a jealous wife.

To be jealous he has to be in love with, or obsessed with her and that can drive any normal man to do things he would not normally do.

Transfer to another location? Should not be a hard thing to do.

And if you think you can hide, think again. As has been mentioned, visas, ID cards. 1 traffic stop or incident with a ticket written out or your personal details needed and your location is noted. Same for her.

Common sense has to rule here.

Is he actually jealous?

Or has she done some dirty deed that he wants revenge for?

Could be either or neither, especially considering the Thai propensity for bending the truth to suit their needs or any given situation.

Personally, I would dig a little deeper for the truth if i had a lot of feelings for her or leave if it is as you have said.

[givenall]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

Be careful, I have heard many time the gal and bf work together like this to scare frang and cash out. Dump her

[getgoin]

1st, 2nd or 3rd wife for the cop? And he's probably still shagging her and she's using you for cash. Women that like cops have some sort of power thing going on. They never leave the cop till they find another cop.

[highlander76]

Do you really need this hassle remember this is Thailand life is very cheap here

[Datsun240Z]

I met a divorced Thai lady last year. She was married to a Thai Policeman. We now have moved to Chang Mai. He now has told her he will transfer from Bangkok to Chang Mai. Can he transfer as easy as that. He is very jealous and is becoming a pain in the neck. Appreciate any advise given

Posts: 3 =

Well you never now in Thailand, if she is right or lying. I hope the best for you mate.

[MSingh]

Safety first especially in a Country where Life is so terribly cheap..

See Ya Tilak....

[kjhbigv]

Troll post. Not rocket science is it.

Agreed, 3 posts and joined yesterday and has NEVER had any need to post anything during/brfore his relationship. Seriously, I am becoming a bit disillusioned with TV. Seems there are too many so called 'trolls' on this site. It should be an informative and helpful site for ex-pats in Thailand!

Why is this happening so much? Just wasting everyone's time, what is the point?

Let's all discuss some fictional character amongst ourselves...making us look like a bunch of muppets!

[elektrified]

Troll post. Not rocket science is it.

Neither would be responding with intelligence.. A 5 year old can accuse someone of being a Troll simply because some topic doesn't fit in their 'box'....

With so many Police officers in Thailand its more likely than not that at some point a westerner dates an ex of a Policeman.

Jealous men anywhere can be capable of anything, as can a jealous woman. I can't see how being a Police makes such a difference.

There are too many paranoid people on this forum.

IF you have first hand experience of something and the response is gloomy then fair enough. But come on, so many of the replies are from experts who have no first hand experience of anything like this and are pretty much suggesting the 'Hollywood' response that the Op is due for a huge fall if he doesn't tuck his tail between his legs, give up on his girl and run....

My tuppence worth to the Op. A lot of this is down to how your Girlfriend deals with her Ex. Don't get into an angry confrontation yourself. If you are sure of your position, stand firm and support her.

That is foolish advice IMHO. After all, we are talking about a jealous cop here. The OP's life could be in danger. Just move on before things escalate. There are plenty of unattached fish in the sea.

[elektrified]

Stalking is my first thought! Do Thailand have a Anti-Stalking Law, my guess is no. You/she should make a police report(to his superiors) or you or one of your good Thai Buddies could fix his up with a pretty sweet young thing(maybe two) and the dude would be to tried to stalk anybody. By all mean if it's over she should cut all contact with the guy.

I respectfully disagree 100%. That will only make things worse. He should just move on and cut his losses.

[sanook2me]

Troll post. Not rocket science is it.

Agreed, 3 posts and joined yesterday and has NEVER had any need to post anything during/brfore his relationship. Seriously, I am becoming a bit disillusioned with TV. Seems there are too many so called 'trolls' on this site. It should be an informative and helpful site for ex-pats in Thailand!

Why is this happening so much? Just wasting everyone's time, what is the point?

Let's all discuss some fictional character amongst ourselves...making us look like a bunch of muppets!

Agreed, trolls are idjuts who for some reason feel the need to write negative statements about Thailand using a fictional character created from their Thai alter ego.

Bad things do happen in this country and people should write about their experiences on here so people can be warned about such things.

But the troll monsters write junk such as "TL Police still stop & search" creating a negative post people jump on to attack other posters maybe there are not enough people posting on here so it becomes a little cramped and people feel the need to lash out.

There are posters on here like "laughing man" who never adds anything constructive from his experience just likes to attack other posts and posters. Whats the point?

You can spot the genuine posters because they normally add a believable experience too add weight to their posts and every post is not some cr@p about how bad Thailand is.

This posting & the other is a classic. Now we are to imagine that all Thai Policeman are bad and are on the edge of stalking farangs and then who knows what!

Who you going to call when you do need a Policeman a troll from TV to save you?

[venturalaw]

Stalking is my first thought! Do Thailand have a Anti-Stalking Law, my guess is no. You/she should make a police report(to his superiors) or you or one of your good Thai Buddies could fix his up with a pretty sweet young thing(maybe two) and the dude would be to tried to stalk anybody. By all mean if it's over she should cut all contact with the guy.

I respectfully disagree 100%. That will only make things worse. He should just move on and cut his losses.

Make a police report?? Are you for kidding? Why not just paint a big target on your back? Or you think this perhaps would result in a disciplinary proceeding against the offending officer, he would leaarn his lesson and move on. Really funny!

[Jonny B]

mate the majority of advice your going to get on here is a bunch of scared farang that live here everyday believing everything negative about this country, that everybody is out to get them and their money and at the slightest hint of a problem will tell you to just run away but have not had any actual experience with the problem you ask/write about. if u like/love this girl enough to stay with her through any problems then this is just one of those, im sure you have some common sense. if you are that scared/worried about him then i can only imagine the best thing to do is get her to change her name, number, maybe even physical appearance and move somewhere else and definately cut all contact with him. If as another poster mentioned she is still in contact with him then the problem is with her. good luck

[oldsparrow]

Change her mobile phone no is a good idea but don't expect the ex won't find out the new No. and new address, there are a lot of channel through relatives, friends. However, it will indicate the stalking degree..

In Thai family system the girl don't have no more tie with the man family. She can ask they to calm him down. Cut all contact is almost impossible not because the ex is a cop but because there are too many contacts when one was a Thai in law in Thailand.

So, if the ex do ugly advance in CM. Ask your GF to file complain at the police station. They will record it in daily logbook. They will practically do nothing about this but the record will help you if trouble occur later. Then chill out afterward, aviod the confrontation is the best way, explain or reasoning the situation with him by yourself is useless.

[venturalaw]

mate the majority of advice your going to get on here is a bunch of scared farang that live here everyday believing everything negative about this country, that everybody is out to get them and their money and at the slightest hint of a problem will tell you to just run away but have not had any actual experience with the problem you ask/write about. if u like/love this girl enough to stay with her through any problems then this is just one of those, im sure you have some common sense. if you are that scared/worried about him then i can only imagine the best thing to do is get her to change her name, number, maybe even physical appearance and move somewhere else and definately cut all contact with him. If as another poster mentioned she is still in contact with him then the problem is with her. good luck

If you sincerely believe that caution regarding Thai police officers equates to paranoia and believing Thailand is out to get my money (where did you come up with that one?) then the word naive does not begin to approach being an apt description of your mindset. I love this country, but caution regarding the police (and I have had some experience with police) just makes sense. Of course, for those with little to no sense, what I just stated is folly. Fine. Many go through life managing to stay out of harms way while not having a care in the world. But I assure you if a policeman in Thailand is willing to relocate to continue a relationship that ended in divorce, then to treat concern as paranoia on the part of the new mate is beyond foolishness.

[Gungapan]

Thanks for the majority of forum members for there advise. I will think about things and probably finish the relationship. The warning signs are there Many thanks

[justanothercybertosser]

Thanks for the majority of forum members for there advise. I will think about things and probably finish the relationship. The warning signs are there Many thanks

Consider though that most of these posts here are complete rubbish, and deciding upon decisions affecting your life based on advice given by anonymous posters on an internet forum is not exactly advisable.

As one poster has stated, it is indeed very difficult to disappear in Thailand. If somebody wants to find somebody, he will.

It is not that easy for a police officer to transfer. If, for example, you move away from Chiangmai, it will be take a long while before this officer can be transferred again. The next important question regarding the ex of you girlfriend is which rank is he, and what influence does he have. A normal patrol officer is nothing one should be overly worried about, at least not more than any other jealous stalking ex-husband.

If he is a Colonel or General that is seriously pissed off with you, then you should think about relocating to another country quickly, unless you have close friends in the forces with equal or superior rank and influence.

And then, of course, you have said nothing whatsoever about your personal position. Do you speak Thai? Do you have Thai friends? Are you employed by a company of influence? Have you been here long? etc.

Maybe, before making a decision, it might be a good idea to find out what the ex wants by calling him and asking him directly.

[venturalaw]

Thanks for the majority of forum members for there advise. I will think about things and probably finish the relationship. The warning signs are there Many thanks

Consider though that most of these posts here are complete rubbish, and deciding upon decisions affecting your life based on advice given by anonymous posters on an internet forum is not exactly advisable.

As one poster has stated, it is indeed very difficult to disappear in Thailand. If somebody wants to find somebody, he will.

It is not that easy for a police officer to transfer. If, for example, you move away from Chiangmai, it will be take a long while before this officer can be transferred again. The next important question regarding the ex of you girlfriend is which rank is he, and what influence does he have. A normal patrol officer is nothing one should be overly worried about, at least not more than any other jealous stalking ex-husband.

If he is a Colonel or General that is seriously pissed off with you, then you should think about relocating to another country quickly, unless you have close friends in the forces with equal or superior rank and influence.

And then, of course, you have said nothing whatsoever about your personal position. Do you speak Thai? Do you have Thai friends? Are you employed by a company of influence? Have you been here long? etc.

Maybe, before making a decision, it might be a good idea to find out what the ex wants by calling him and asking him directly.

Sage advise.

[scorecard]

It is possible to get a court order which states that the ex cannot make contact, cannot follow, cannot harrass, etc. And the judges are not frightened of the police.

If there are children involved, again, get a court order which spells out who has primary custody, and when / where the ex husband can make contact with the children.

If your intention is to get into a serious relationship with this lady, and she does have kids, then you need to accept that the kids must be allowed to have contact with their patenal father. (Unless of course there's actual evidence of violence etc.)

The poster said the x cop is trying to get a transfer to CM - maybe he wants to be near his children.

Thailand does have comprehensive and well written family law.