Ok, few beers in now, so bear with me.

I live in an area that that is getting more popular with farang everyday, so I see a lot more of them, and I find when I see them its' the old 'look up and down', a face to shoes jobby, trying to figure out what they do here as they try to figure out what I do here, are they tourists/ peadophiles/ boiler rooms boys/ teachers/pure sex pats/ work for the inter co.s/ none of the above? .

I have to admit I'm not a very sociable person, and I don't like most people I meet, but I'm always polite when chatted to. One of the reasons I live in Thailand is because the Thais will not ignore me as I walk down the street and I can be alone even in a big city, unlike back home where I grew up on a council estate and from 200 yds I gotta size up the guy coming towards me so as not to 'lose face' and look weak. Sad I know, but that's life in the UK, at least in certain parts.

So always comes that time when you come across a farang in a lift, or in a non thai area and they checking you and you're checking them and I just check and move on, ###### em really, but I noticed some farangs wanna chat and be friendly and consider you a mate coz your a farang in Thailand too, same as them, so got something in common. I understand why farang do this and I'm not complaining about them coz it's a nice thing to do, but I wanna avoid, avoid, avoid.

When I read about TV memebers here meeting up I kinda think, yeah, that's nice but shudder to be a part of it. The TV forum is good for me coz I can chat with people, (and I am interested in expats here) and not show everything about me. I can choose what you see, which is impossible in real life.

So when you meet farang in your lift, your local market, or the local bus on the way out of Bangkok how do you react? Are you a chatter or a 'look up and downer'?

As my old school teacher said after he also spoke a load of <deleted>, DISCUSS!!

Again, I apologise for the drunken crappy topics that I am providing here.

Last night I had a dream that Brittany Spears and Celine Dion ( I think) were dead and were laid on top of each other for the funeral in a lesbian pose, believe me, it could get a lot of worse, be thankful I haven't touched the whiskey before I post.

Hmm want to avoid contact? Well its amazing how a mobile will solve this problem.

I met a group of about a dozen TV'ers (vs TV's) last year. All very nice folks, and an enjoyable evening...

That's pretty much as far as it went, and I was okay with that. I'm very private, too, and I don't like lots of folks hanging around, and frankly, I don't care for most farangs much, anyway. I enjoy the company of Thais more, but my usual preference is to be left alone. I come here because I like being supportive of others, but at arm's length in the case of most of the farangs here...Online discussions can be very interesting, at times. And if things get too weird, all one needs to do is change the channel, and a new show emerges...

In public, I feel approachable, and in my travels, I'm quite sensitive to travelers who look lost, or are having some kind of problem. In such cases, I'll stop and check if they need any help. Then I return back to my private world...

hi'

well, I like to meet people even if I'm often disapointed, not because of them, but more because of what I was waiting from these meetings, life's like this ...

meet a lot keep a few

tv meetings were nice, I met some nice people there, I have to say that I was quite happy to see all these members cahtting with each-other with pleasure.

when it comes to me, I'm a bit personal too for various reasons, I have seen quite a few expats around and it seems to me that they have something in common, ( not all of them but some), some facts of mine : nationality groups, superior expat mentality, none of them are RICH, often talk wrong about Thai's(if not badly), well this is only a bit ... sad though

nationality groups : germans enjoy to be together, as Britts do too, as Aussies too ...

superior expat mentality: "they(Thai's) don't know", "if we were not here", "look the way they work" and so on ...

none of them are rich : most of those who I met, were wealthy but far to be close to middle class Thai ... strange for so called "succesful move" .. and the show off comes with, gold and car, house ... must look like we have ...

often talks badly : sorry, I won't repeat what I heard ... but we all know this as we may have heard this kind of ####.

and the last but not the least, so many are very close to be alcoholic if they aren't already.

BUT

there are a lot of nice people among expat, some nice people to meet and spend sometime with, that's why one have to go out, meet, talk and in time will find nice people and enjoy to meet them from time to time ... life

francois

In all fairness, Francois was an exception to the rule, in my experience... Nice guy, nice family. And, best of all, no bullshit.

After three years, I have formed the opinion that most expats in Thailand are not really interested in making friends among other farangs and while we are all polite, perhaps friendly, we are never familiar.

I am a loner at heart and do not like social gatherings that number more that one other couple. I am an introvert by definition and testing so that might have something to do with it.

I wonder if it is a common trait among those that can be happy as an expat, that they live away from their own country as a function of being loners?

superior expat mentality: "they(Thai's) don't know", "if we were not here", "look the way they work" and so on ...

D'arghhh...

and the last but not the least, so many are very close to be alcoholic if they aren't already.

That might be me, but I'm a nice expat!

I'm a social person, but I find the average Bangkok expat very unsociable - apart from the people I work with. Maybe it's my age, as everybody else I've met is always 30 or above.

In the 3 years so far I've been here, I've met around 5 people I could regard as good (but not close) friends. ThaiVisa meetings also seem to bring out the best people, which is always a good breath of fresh air.

The teachers I know through a teacher friend are decent, down-to-earth people, but afraid they're in the minority compared to teachers that have bumped into in various bars - who seem follow the mentality francois stated above.

Really hope this doesn't sound elitist - it really is from experience, and I consider myself to be open and honest.

Regardless, I'm more than happy with the small selection of expat and Thai friends I have here

I used to be a bit of a party animal I suppose.Maybe old age is catching up with me..who knows.

Most of the expats that i have met here seem ok, but I am not a regular in the Pub scene in LOS.

The only time that I would go out on a regular basis would be when the Tri-nations rugby is on. The U.N Irish Pub has a bunch of expats that seem like nice folk and a great satalite for sport!.

I have a close friend that lives in BKK and we tend to get togeather every couple of months to blow a few cobwebs out.

I believe what Francois says about the Alcaholics. I'm probably what you call a selective alkie..If I have a drink once a month, I tend to make up for all the other nights that I have been on the wagon.

I'll always say gidday to somebody though.

When I first came to LoS I made friends with someone. I opened up to this person and ended up getting hurt and embarrased. It was a good lesson not to be too trusting. I now have one good mate from TV that I catch up with regularly, he and his wife visit my wife even when I am not there so I find that he is a family friend. There is also another gent on this forum that I consider a friend, although we do not meet up as often as I might like to, but that is ok.

As for the farang I meet down the street? well I do not see too many of those but when I do I would like to nod and say g'day but I am not really too fussed, I have my group of family and friends and I am very happy with that.

Mind you I do not live in BKK or PTY so it is fairly rare to come across another farang.

When I first came to LoS I made friends with someone. I opened up to this person and ended up getting hurt and embarrased. It was a good lesson not to be too trusting. I now have one good mate from TV that I catch up with regularly, he and his wife visit my wife even when I am not there so I find that he is a family friend. There is also another gent on this forum that I consider a friend, although we do not meet up as often as I might like to, but that is ok.

As for the farang I meet down the street? well I do not see too many of those but when I do I would like to nod and say g'day but I am not really too fussed, I have my group of family and friends and I am very happy with that.

Mind you I do not live in BKK or PTY so it is fairly rare to come across another farang.

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Interesting point tukyleith about trusting other farang.My mate who lives in BKK gave me some advice when I first came here.He said don't trust any farang untill you've been here for at least two years...and even then be carefull.

Folks come here for all sorts of reasons chuchok, good idea not to take too many on face value

I'm fortunate or unfortunate depending on your point of view - that I'm the only Farang for miles in my little mooban.

The better to improve my Thai!

hi'

it's a bit easier when you live far away in any country side, no one around, so you deal with your own Thai or "lao" language and local people where you can find that a part of them are very similar to the western people you don't like

and you are alone there, sometime you may think that you miss some western contact ... may be if it was usual for you to socialize a lot ...

when I came back to Chiang Mai after Isaan, I found my "old" Thai friends and time was easier, then came TV forum ...

and I met more people, I have to say that along the road, I met a few nice people, and they are still friends for me

they know who they are ... [hi' mates ]

but it's always a personal attitude that guides you, the way you are.

you could be a bear with a nice heart, and you'll meet people like you, just have to go out of the cavern a bit ...

a bear meeting is nice

I don't like to have many many "friends", more true and frank people with whom I can have a real exchange and share, and even if I enjoy to meet a lot of people, I keep close relationship with a few only ... life

one thing I keep in mind, a lot of expat live in their own little world and so, don't like sooo much to be disturb by anyone, except very close friends(meaning not a lot), and it's easily undestandable, some have decided not to give their postal address for example, email, mobile phone only, we have to respect this.

for many a new life goes with more privacy.

one can see a lot of them out by friday or saturday evenings ...rarely on weekdays.

most of them have a job, a family, and a life to protect (in their way of thinking).

"may I say?" : a lot don't want to "mix" with Thai's. as I say why before, for a lot of reasons that belong to them.

one may think that it must be not so common ... Wrong!

it takes a little time to see them as they are, as so many are the only people who talk to you, they probably need to share their point of view.

if you have a nice living without any problem, you'll find that strange ...

if you had some bad experiences, you'll agree and may become like them

yes, be careful, but meet people, talk, share, keep yourself inline, don't oppose yourself to things you undestand with your western values, keep it cool, time is on your side and works for you.

you are in Asia

anything takes time in life, here one need to be a bit more patient

francois

No matter in which country you live if you're the new kid on the block you'll be targetted immediately by the leeches and con-artists. The only way to differentiate between them and the 'genuines' is to be friendly, chat and never offer money or help. Not for a while, anyway.

Most Friday evenings, a mate (farang) and I go out to sample the delights of Thai/Khmer sing-a-song bars. We have, over the months, focused on two or three that we prefer, resulting in knowing most of the staff, "artists" and some regulars. Some time ago we noticed a newcomer (farang) in one of the bars, a heavy set guy that would be referred to in U.K. as a "bruiser". After a couple more *chang*, I said "bugger it, I'm going to go say hello". I wandered over and said hello to who I now know is one of the nicest guys I've met in Thailand.

And he's French!

I'm very suspicious of farang I haven't met or been introduced to by others here in Thailand- see, I'm becoming more Victorian in every way!! I have a good circle of fairly reliable friends, and if I don't meet through them, there is very little chance I'll ever go out of my way to talk to a farang here- *except* [major exception] occasionally someone from the forums I'm on here will impress me enough that I'll take the risk of meeting them. Generally takes awhile before I feel like I know them well enough online to risk a face-to-face, though.

"Steven"

I live quite a lonely life here as well - I don't feel the need to have people around me just for the sake of it, I like to choose my friends carefully, Thai or farang alike. Also, I don't want to get into the same drinking circle I got into in Bangkok - it gets very tiring after a while that every social occasion has to involve getting drunk. I am not into the bar girl scene or single-nationality expat group thing either, which seriously narrows down my options.

Chiang Mai has so many foreigners anyway that it would feel weird to walk up to somebody and talk to them just because they are not Thai. I would probably feel different if I lived in the countryside somewhere.

I am not a chatter but I will always be friendly to anyone who wants to have a talk or ask something, I guess thats the of the main reasons we all come on this website. I was very pleasantly surprised when I attended the Bangkok bash, mainly about how much of a good looking bunch we all were! I sort of expected a pasty skinned, ill looking bunch but all the lads were handsome and the lasses were lurvely. That was one of the funniest nights I have had in Bangkok. I sort of kept in touch with a couple of people I met that night and regulally see one of them, I always enjoy reading the posts from all the others who attended and sorely miss a few who seem to have dissapeared for one reason or another. I guess my point is BKK, you never know till you try so give it a shot we arn't all wierdo's...well not completely anyway

Interesting topic which has always baffled me in my years in Thailand.

I never used to talk to other farang unlesss I was pissed.

When I was new here, I didn't like being the new guy and being told the ropes by others, well mostly.

When I see people now, I tend to say hello, and to be honest show off my Thai language skills and some other knowledge, although far from fluent.

I hate it when I get into conversation with some Brit who happens to have just arrived and starts slagging off the thais and their culture. I am scared i meet the exact people I left the UK to get away from.

What I do now is look the guy in the eyes and if he looks away, fair enough. If he looks back a nod is fine. If I see the guy again, I will say something.

I was away in Nong Kai today and saw a guy getting on the Udon/NK bus. We never spoke, and sat apart. On arriving at the immigration, he was there and we spoke. he was from a part of Scotland I knew, and a very decent bloke. He was 30 years older than me but we had a lot in common. He was staying in NK the night and I came back to Khon Kaen. If I had spoken to him on the way up we would have had a good chat and gone halfs on the trip to the Immigration.

How many others have there been that have passed by?

In future I will make the effort to speak to the farang, unless they are the obvious idiot(unlike me who is not obvious).

Interesting posts and topic.

I am chatty, but to make friends properly is about 6 - 12 months for me. Sure I will go and be sociable, but I have been let down by so many over the last few years.

Right, theres a proper moody looking farang guy that's moved into my appartment building. From the moody looking face and attitude looks like a fellow English man to me but I think half that attitude comes from the fact that he's not having a great time in Bangkok.

My friend from my old neighbourhood back home lives in the same block as me and he said the guy looks unapproachable as well. But he's a newbie in Bangkok by the looks of things, all the signs are there, can't speak thai, not much cash and teaching, and well he's got the 'I've been here 6 months and Thailand's not as fun as when I was holiday' look if you know what I mean.

Me and my mate have both thought about saying hello coz he's the same age as us and don't seem to know anyone but he always looks too miserable.

I will try an approach this week if I catch him in the lift or down the gym and fill you in on 'first contact'.

Yeah, I am, off into the centre of Khon Kaen today.

Today is the "cheer up the miserable looking farang day"

Say hi to the guy that sits in the same place with his beer chang every day.

(doesn't look like much fun, but you never know)

We all have our off days or weeks.

Right, theres a proper moody looking farang guy that's moved into my appartment building.  From the moody looking face and attitude looks like a fellow English man to me   but I think half that attitude comes from the fact that he's not having a great time in Bangkok. 

My friend from my old neighbourhood back home lives in the same block as me and he said the guy looks unapproachable as well.  But he's a newbie in Bangkok by the looks of things, all the signs are there, can't speak thai, not much cash and teaching, and well he's got the 'I've been here 6 months and  Thailand's not as fun as when I was holiday' look    if you know what I mean.

  Me and my mate have both thought about saying hello coz he's the same age as us and don't seem to know anyone but he always looks too miserable. 

I will try an approach this week if I catch him in the lift or down the gym and fill you in on 'first contact'.

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Once he hits the suds he'll probably be fine up until he turns really violent

What I do now is look the guy in the eyes and if he looks away, fair enough. If he looks back a nod is fine. If I see the guy again, I will say something.

I do the same... however if someone approaches me first with a question, I will always answer as comprehensively and honestly as I can.

Unless of course they're an obvious "fat white plonker of a sex tourist".. I'm not at all interested in associating with them.

Maybe I'm shy as I'm usually suspicious of falung here in Thailand (unless of course they're work buddies) and the reasons/motives for being here unless they've been introduced to me by another friend or acquaintance.

I am yet to meet anyone from TV forum, although I have been PM'd by one member in particular and discovered we live close to each other, have similar interests, have some shared acquaintances, and we are planning to meet up fairly soon. Viewing members posts is one good way to get the "feel" of a person, without opening up too much of yourself or alternatively exposing yourself to a situation that you may not really want.

Having said that, I have learnt also that some peoples physical appearances belie their true nature... as have some other posters here.

This is not something I am proud to say, but it is a gut reaction: Whenever I come back to a place where I used to be the only farang, and I see other farang there, it gives me a bad feeling.

I hate this in myself but I cant shake the feeling.

Guess it has to do with the fact that the places where I see this happen often proceed to go downhill quite quickly. Word of mouth sometimes feels like a curse.

There it is, personal confession, probably makes me look a right &lt;deleted&gt;...

I think sweatball touched some point about common tendency. many people being in a foreigner country have similar feeling and aslo seems like avoid other fellow foreigners. sort of - mind their own biz perhaps.

personally I never had probs in comunicating with other farangs. in my neighbourhood when I come accross one who wanna talk - I do so. those who don't want talking - I don't.

I think sweatball touched some point about common tendency. many people being in a foreigner  country have similar feeling and aslo seems like avoid other fellow foreigners. sort of - mind their own biz perhaps.

personally I never had probs in comunicating with other farangs. in my neighbourhood when I come accross one who wanna talk - I do so. those who don't want talking - I don't.

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That sounds pretty normal to me

realy? cool then. thks for approval ! may I fart now ? D)

realy? cool then. thks for approval ! may I fart now ? D)

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It may be better if you just got your medication into you.

realy? cool then. thks for approval ! may I fart now ? D)

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It may be better if you just got your medication into you.

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Hmmm yes.Three pills before bed.make sure you have something to eat first..wouldn't want to upset your tummy now