How Did My Fellow Farang Make Friends In Los?

[HalfSquat]

I've been here (Bangkok) a month now with my Mrs. She has made friends from her job and we socialise with them but I wouldnt mind getting some of my own mates to go for a beer with or whatever.

How did you go about it?

I don't really want to drink loads so haven't been sitting in bars looking for guys to chat to.

I started going to a sports club but that didn't really lead to much although it is early days yet.

I'm not really into the backpacker crowd, or the sex-pat crowd, not sure what I'm after really!

Got any tips?

Cheers.

[BlueSmurf]

I can understand as we can all do with a bit of good chat in our own lingo as you might say. Do you have any hobbies? We if not just try to get fit.Go for a swim , the gym and maybe cycle. You will meet someone sometime I'am sure.Myself learned to speak Thai so can go anywhere and speak to anyone.You say you do not want to drink loads well thats up to you, but I find a varied circle of friends or aquaintences is better and you do not have to drink in the day.They say big cities can be lonely places but its up to you..There will never be a set place to meet people but keep a open mind.Have met some really good people in bars yes backpackers too who have been become good friends.

Sorry I don't live in Bangkok but it sounds like you need a couple of wild nights out so go for it..Other than that watch tele or play on the net! Best of luck Dave from the NORTH!!

[richard_smith237]

I have friends who have met friends at 'Bangkok young professionals' events which may be a suitable route for you.

[teddy_bare]

Most of my friends are Thai, and I made them by learning to speak and read Thai. I used to sit in coffee shops/ by the pool at the gym and read my Thai school books. Staff and other customers would often help me with pronouncation and sounding out the words, vowels etc. If they didnt offer, I would politely ask. Trying to learn a language like this (I found) was an excellent way of breaking down inhabitions and social barriers.

This lead to me having a fairly large circle of friends.

I actually married one of them!!!

[glegolo]

Most of my friends are Thai, and I made them by learning to speak and read Thai. I used to sit in coffee shops/ by the pool at the gym and read my Thai school books. Staff and other customers would often help me with pronouncation and sounding out the words, vowels etc. If they didnt offer, I would politely ask. Trying to learn a language like this (I found) was an excellent way of breaking down inhabitions and social barriers.

This lead to me having a fairly large circle of friends.

I actually married one of them!!!

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unless you are a Thai yourself, dont forget,, if you are a falang you will always be a falang and therefore number 3-4 in order....

no matter what you think.... friendship down here is not like our kind of friendship. I know of course that we all have experienced bad shit friendships in west. but the general idea of having a friend, is not the same here. So plse dont put all you eggs in the same basket.

Glegolo

[HalfSquat]

I go to the gym at my apartment and use the pool there. I know people here but they are people I've met through my girlfriend as they work together. Nothing wrong with that, just wouldn't mind my own pals.

I am planning/trying to learn Thai but didn't think of it in the social aspect. What do you mean about always being 3-4?

I guess I need to join some clubs or something. Do you find people (farangs) here to be more accepting to new comers than back home?

[glegolo]

I go to the gym at my apartment and use the pool there. I know people here but they are people I've met through my girlfriend as they work together. Nothing wrong with that, just wouldn't mind my own pals.

I am planning/trying to learn Thai but didn't think of it in the social aspect. What do you mean about always being 3-4?

I guess I need to join some clubs or something. Do you find people (farangs) here to be more accepting to new comers than back home?

-----------------------------

You seemed to be a nice guy and sorry if I came on strong to you. What I meant was, that if you are a falang, you will always be a falang no matter if you learn whatever down here.

It is really good to know the language of course! But remember socialy you can meet people, but the concept of a friend is NOT the same here. you know being there for each other.... I got the impression myself that the family is the big number one and after that is more or less nothing. Correct me if I am wrong here. So being surrounded by ONLY thais, take care as usual.

What regards farangs being more welcoming here than back home.... Hmmmmm both yhes and no.... I have never met so many different people as down here I must say. I have met mostly fantastic nice people, and I have met boaring silent shy, dont want to talk, dont want this and that people here. It is just to try, most of us falangs is a great bunch and I like them myself.

Glegolo

Edited September 15, 2009 by glegolo

[jfchandler]

By 3-4, I believe the prior poster meant...as a falang...if you have a friendship or relationship with a Thai, you'll always be 3rd or 4th in order of priority for that person... behind...I suppose...their mom and dad... siblings, Thai friends... etc etc...

I'm not espousing or endorsing that view... Just adding a bit of clarification to what I believe the other poster meant....since the OP asked...

[HalfSquat]

I see. I wasnt really expecting to befriend any Thais, not that I'd mind, just don't see many Thai/Farangs walking about (apart from man/woman couples).

[Prudent_rabbit]

When I came here 5 years ago, I made friends by attending quiz nights, met some really good people, also I took up golf and joined the Londoners Golf Society, now have a very large and eclectic group of friends

[HalfSquat]

Sounds good. Did you play golf before joining? I want to do some tennis, perhaps there is a similar thing?

[Prudent_rabbit]

Sounds good. Did you play golf before joining? I want to do some tennis, perhaps there is a similar thing?

Yes had played a bit (well walked round a course hitting things!) but in reality any golfing society would expect that you will already have some ability to play golf, have a grasp of the Rules, have played on golf courses before and understand golfing etiquette.

[samran]

soccer, touch rugby, aussie rules clubs here, great way to meet people.

[p_brownstone]

By 3-4, I believe the prior poster meant...as a falang...if you have a friendship or relationship with a Thai, you'll always be 3rd or 4th in order of priority for that person... behind...I suppose...their mom and dad... siblings, Thai friends... etc etc...

I'm not espousing or endorsing that view... Just adding a bit of clarification to what I believe the other poster meant....since the OP asked...

Do you / did you have friends in “the West” who would put your friendship before immediate family members?

I know I never did, nor did I expect it.

If you approach any potential friend with the idea already fixed in your mind that as a foreigner Thais, or (insert any other Nationality here) will always undervalue your friendship, you have already put up the wall, don't blame anyone else.

Patrick

[HalfSquat]

soccer, touch rugby, aussie rules clubs here, great way to meet people.

Good idea! I suck at team sports of this type though! Wish I could play soccer/football but rubbish at it.

Anyone know of a friendly, sociably muay thai school/classes?

[samran]

soccer, touch rugby, aussie rules clubs here, great way to meet people.

Good idea! I suck at team sports of this type though! Wish I could play soccer/football but rubbish at it.

Anyone know of a friendly, sociably muay thai school/classes?

Skill is not a pre-requisite, which is why it is a great way to meet people. I met my wife that way.

[OxfordWill]

Its tough, just dont lower your standards out of lonliness, will lead to trouble (as has done for many of us).

[IanForbes]

It helps a lot to have an outside interest or hobby. Depending on where you live there might be difficulties finding people with similar interests. That is one problem with living in rural areas of Thailand. It might be environmentally beautiful with lovely weather, but you have to find something to actually DO. I am a writer so I joined a writing group in Chiang Mai. I also like to fish, so I have friends with similar interests. Having your own transportation goes a long way in making things simpler. I've come to realize that we only have time for a very few friends if we have our own interests.

[stormstereo]

Interesting subject!

I lived in BKK a few years ago and might again in the future. As I've found, there are usually organizations for expats, from various countries, who wants to socialize. Since being Swedish, I know most about options for Scandinavians. I'm just going to list a bunch of things/activities/organizations that I know about. Maybe there's the equivalent things for the region you're from. Google your options my friend.

* "Scandinavian Society Siam" (Parties, events, get togethers, trips and more.)

* "Scandmedia" (Danish owned media production company, has a lot of connections throughout SE Asia.)

* "SWEA Bangkok" (Swedish Women’s Educational Association Inc. A global network for Swedish women abroad.)

* Any kind of "young professionals club".

* There used to be a monthly meet and dine business gathering at The Huntsman Pub located in The Landmark Hotel in Sukhumvit.

* The Swedish Church (Have some events and get togethers. Certainly knows a lot about scandinavian activities in BKK.)

* Pick up Archery.

* Scuba diving?

* At somtam dot com you'll find the international soccer league for expats.

* Become member at a real gym.

* Take some language classes or find any class/club/organization catering to your interests.

* Learn how to cook thai food at a well established place for expats.

* Find your favorite restaurants and befriend the owners, thai or expats.

* Get to know the others in your building.

* Do you play any instrument? Start a band!

If you start in one place, it usually leads to several others.

Best/Tommy

[HalfSquat]

Cheers Tommy, definitely a good list of things to look into.

[stormstereo]

Cheers Tommy, definitely a good list of things to look into.

Anytime. Oh, and two more things:

* If you're working with any media production or journalism, you can look up "The Foreign Correspondents Club".

* The Swedish church usually have a monthly "Pea soup with shots of Punsch" for guys only. Not religious at all, but a good time with the lads, with some traditional Swedish food on the table. Maybe something similar i going on in "your" church. Everyone is usually welcome, no matter how much of a believer they are (myself being the ultimate atheist). In any case, it'll probably give you a few leads.

Best/Tommy

[BlackArtemis]

I met friends via a study abroad trip and then when I moved back to Thailand I started to Date and then married and grew my own friendships off my wife's circle of friends. Once my Thai was good enough I started making my own friends, such as a mechanic friend when i started to modify a Honda Chaly and he was doing the same etc etc.

Subsequently the vast majority of my friends in Thailand were Thai. Don't listen to all of this nonsense about being put on the back burner due to your nationality. Plenty of times I would go out with just my friends and not with my wife along.

I had some friends at work, but I really never socialized with them outside of work. I found my Thai friends to be true and more understanding than any others I met. And no they were not my friends because I paid bills (often times they refused to even let me chip in), nor because my wife was Thai or any other reason that can be concocted.

If you present yourself in a true manner you will make friends no matter the nationalities, sex, religion, etc either of you are.

In fact since moving back to the US I am finding myself hanging out with Thais more often than Americans.

On a last note, don't let others tell you who to be friends with. If all of your friends are other expats that doesn't make you any worse than someone who only has Thai friends ( and vis versa).

[bkkjames]

Cheers Tommy, definitely a good list of things to look into.

I tend to agree. If you have a hobby or interest, join a group - Thai or Farang, you will share the same thing and un-surprisingly are great equalisers and barrier breakers.

Mine happens to be beer.

[HalfSquat]

I'm rubbish at most sports though!