Marriage Dowry

[Thaihog]

Is it still customary to pay a dowry to a Thai bride if she is marrying for the second time?

Cheers

[2008bangkok]

I didnt get my dowry the 1st time

[Thongkorn]

NO ,

[thaitot]

No

[thalassa2006]

hi

first time i pay 50,000 baht but you don't have to pay for second time or you payed for not losing face and you get back the money after

good luck

[neverdie]

Ohhh goodie another sin sot thread. Imagine if people did a thai visa search before posting a new one, sorry OP but these threads turn up almost daily

[Latindancer]

Thaihog, I started a thread about exactly this situation just 4 weeks ago.

Go here : http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Yeah-Sin-Sot...in-t314952.html

I'm meeting her parents this weekend and can't help but feel a sense of dread. I feel that she, her father AND myself are going to end up being offended by our upcoming "little conversation" about sin sot. She seems to think that her father wants it. But I don't want to pay it for various reasons :

....She was married previously for 5 years, and sin sot was paid by her previous husband.

....She is still in debt to the government of about 90,000 baht, being for her higher education loan. I will have to help her pay this off.

.....I don't WANT to pay it......it offends me that money is being asked for when MY cultural tradition says that people starting out in marriage are helped by the parents.

If you look at the reasons behind sin sot, it seems that it is not applicable the second time, particularly for a foreigner. The parents have already been compensated for their financial outlay during her upbringing.

Edited December 16, 2009 by Latindancer

[kurnell]

Ohhh goodie another sin sot thread. Imagine if people did a thai visa search before posting a new one, sorry OP but these threads turn up almost daily

Almost as boring as people who feel the need to comment that this subject has been done to death!

[johnbarpic]

has anyone ever tried standing their ground & reverting to the culture & country they come from & not paying a dowry?

obviously if you are marrying a girl from Thailand & she is marrying a guy from where ever, there has to be consideration for all cultures!! you are both mixing cultures by marrying so why not try the good old idea of marrying the girl or guy of your dreams just because you love him or her?

I most interested to hear the comments! by the way I am marrid to an english girl living in Thailand & if i had been asked for a Dowry or prenuptual I would never have got married 24 years doen the line will are still in love & happily married. (marry in haste repent at lesuire(

J BP

[Geekfreaklover]

No.

[2008bangkok]

has anyone ever tried standing their ground & reverting to the culture & country they come from & not paying a dowry?

obviously if you are marrying a girl from Thailand & she is marrying a guy from where ever, there has to be consideration for all cultures!! you are both mixing cultures by marrying so why not try the good old idea of marrying the girl or guy of your dreams just because you love him or her?

I most interested to hear the comments! by the way I am marrid to an english girl living in Thailand & if i had been asked for a Dowry or prenuptual I would never have got married 24 years doen the line will are still in love & happily married. (marry in haste repent at lesuire(

J BP

Jokin apart I didn't pay a dowry when i married my wife nor did he family even expect one, dont even contribute to hetr family unless its desperate my attitude is i have a dad at hom ewho is on the sick and if they is any spare cash then he gets it and not somebody who i barley know.

On the other hand a thai male is still expected to pay a dowry but it will not be anywhere near what a farang would pay.

Edited December 16, 2009 by 2008bangkok

[TAWP]

Never ever pay for a second-hand wife unless she truly is something special above anything else. (Which begs the question, how did you land her?)

Observe the money-grabbing-talk before marriage as a clue as to how far away to settle down after you marry.

My parents in law offered to build us a house and never mentioned sin sod. We now live right next to them.

[neverdie]

Ohhh goodie another sin sot thread. Imagine if people did a thai visa search before posting a new one, sorry OP but these threads turn up almost daily

Almost as boring as people who feel the need to comment that this subject has been done to death!

Okay Kurnell, how do you suggest that it is suggested to people to do a thai visa search before posting, mental telepathy?

[torrenova]

..... My parents in law offered to build us a house and never mentioned sin sod. We now live right next to them.

That is perhaps the one situation when I might just consider paying sinsot, just to avoid living anywhere near them

[cognos]

Ohhh goodie another sin sot thread. Imagine if people did a thai visa search before posting a new one, sorry OP but these threads turn up almost daily

Almost as boring as people who feel the need to comment that this subject has been done to death!

Okay Kurnell, how do you suggest that it is suggested to people to do a thai visa search before posting, mental telepathy?

well I'm physique, I mean physics, I mean physic, I mean..never mind, I can't spell..signed: good guesser

[Wossnext]

Well plenty of others have given their opinion here, even those who complain loudly about having given it many times before? why do you people even bother posting when it obviously pisses you off so much. Anyway here is my 2 cents worth. I married my wife 3 years ago, first time for her, met the parents + family + extended family went to restaurant paid for everything, we seemed to get on well enough, they gave their approval we agreed the dowry using my wife as mediator, maybe that is not the best idea, I flew back home and then 6 months later flew her to NZ for a holiday, after she flew back I started sending money to her for deposits on reception flowers and all that stuff. And the whole time I was shitting myself thinking that she might be laughing at me whilst sat in Central World with her Thai boyfriend eating and spending up large on my hard earned savings.

But no she turned out to be my soul mate I chose well. I did pay a dowry of 100,000 which my Mum was pissed about!! she is old and only knows what she reads in the paper, so according to Mum I was going to arrive in Thailand give her family money and then be hacked to death with machete's and served up in a roadside wok!! so I pretty much expected her not to understand. Anyway I have to confess I was still worried about our future together right up until we took our vows, her parents and relatives still did not appear to like me much, even at the reception. I felt like saying to em' all if you dont like me or trust me even now on our wedding day then stop eating my food and drinking my whisky and fuc_k off

We moved to NZ a month later and lived there for 3 years. We returned again 8 weeks ago to live, her dad shook my hand and thanked me for taking such good care of his daughter and promptly poured me a whisky, we get on great now even with the language difficulty. She has also been on holiday recently to the UK and my Family loved her to bits as they had not met her before, she was a great Ambassador for Thailand and it's people. So what is the point of my story.....I dunno! just thought it might entertain you for a couple of minutes

Oh! sorry....shoulda' said, if it had of been my Wife's second time around then hel_l no! a dowry would be out of the question, having said that, at that stage in my life of knowing squat about Thai traditions I may well have paid something so as not to offend, so good on ya' for taking the time to ask people in the know. Hopefully it has saved you some cash and a potential headache

Edited January 6, 2010 by Wossnext

[highlander76]

No

[473geo]

Reminds me of the guy who sold a top quality pedigree homing pigeon.........16 times......

[RAZZELL]

I would have thought that most women on their second marriage wouldn't warrant a sin sod...

But every woman, family, relationship is different. And so is the amount!

I also have no major issues with the concept.

Some people get all "uptight" about it....why? It's only money...

Especially when I look at what some people spend on "their big day" in the UK which I find frankly obscene

But then again I've never been married

As ever "Up to you!"

RAZZ

[SantiSuk]

Ohhh goodie another sin sot thread. Imagine if people did a thai visa search before posting a new one, sorry OP but these threads turn up almost daily

Almost as boring as people who feel the need to comment that this subject has been done to death!

Yes - but look at all the senior and platinum members still piling in. It gives the old fogies something to do!

[LuckyLew]

has anyone ever tried standing their ground & reverting to the culture & country they come from & not paying a dowry?

obviously if you are marrying a girl from Thailand & she is marrying a guy from where ever, there has to be consideration for all cultures!! you are both mixing cultures by marrying so why not try the good old idea of marrying the girl or guy of your dreams just because you love him or her?

I most interested to hear the comments! by the way I am marrid to an english girl living in Thailand & if i had been asked for a Dowry or prenuptual I would never have got married 24 years doen the line will are still in love & happily married. (marry in haste repent at lesuire(

J BP

I stood my ground and paid zero dowry

I help support parent inlaws grand son while thet contribute nothing

We got amrried at Amphur 3.5 years ago.

They used to talk about us have traditional marriage ... I balked on that as well

Kept sating "We are married already, why spend money feeding entire city

when we can use money for building a house"

Over this past Christmas holidays father in law didn't talk much to me while we

were visiting. Right when we were leaving he was being all nice and sweet.

I didn't bite. Finally he came out and asked for money ..

Answer "farang no money"

If you do not want to pay wory ... stand your ground

[jdfmail]

I would say no to 2nd marriage but if marrying a Thai woman and it's her first you should understand a bit about their customs. To refuse to follow the tradition of sinsot if it's considered important to her and her family is quite selfish as this action makes your bride to be look really bad. She looses major 'face' and will be very embarrassed. I would hate to put someone that I love enough to marry in a situation like that.

[inzman]

No!

[sinplyred]

Do not pay, in fact why marry, what are the benifits to you? You can just live together with no big mess to sort out if it all goes pear shaped. A dowry is payable only once.

[Tod Daniels]

Ohhh goodie another sin sot thread. Imagine if people did a thai visa search before posting a new one, sorry OP but these threads turn up almost daily

You know at first I thought these threads were kinda cute in a moronic mindless sock puppet foreigner wanna-b-thai and embrace his inner thai-ness kind of way.

Now they're just frickin’ pathetic to even read.

The short answer as evidenced by people who answered this post is NO. It is my observation from talking to thai men that a "gently-used" and/or "second-hand" thai woman (especially with ANY rug-rats in tow) is worth not a single satang in sinsod.

Even if marrying for the first time, the sinsod paid by a foreigner for their (in all likelihood) 3 grade drop-out, rice farmer’s daughter from Nakhon Nowhere is likely to be way out of line from what a thai would pay.

Please don’t believe for a second the old line of “you must understand and respect thai culture”. It is plain and simple B/S pawned off by the thais, even more so where a foreigner is concerned.

You're a foreigner, you can't lose face, only thais think like that..

[britmaveric]

No and its debatable even the first time.