..or at least quite a number of TV forumers lol.

Do You Have Friends Like These?

Abrasive personalities 101: Are you friends with people that constantly drain your energy, in both obvious and subtle ways? Several types of people will exhaust you or deter you from your path of extreme self-care. The people with abrasive personalities will slowly but surely suck the life out of you. So watch out!

The Blamer.

This abrasive person consistently blames you and/or everyone else for his problems. Nothing ever seems to be his fault. The world and the people in it always seem to create havoc for this person, and instead of taking responsibility for his life, he would rather blame others. Nothing goes well for this person- or if ever something good does- he'll just shelve it and wait for the next big problem.

The Complainer.

The complainer likes to hear his own voice. He constantly complains about what isn't working in his life and yet gets energy from complaining and dumping his frustrations on you. You are updated on his family woes, financial woes and all other problems he might encounter. Bad vibes all the time. This type of abrasive personality's greatest conversation is one with himself but he always likes to have an audience- and sadly that's you.

The Drainer.

So you start your day with the biggest smile on your face, then you run across your abrasive friend who just sucks the life out of you. This is the needy person who calls to ask for your guidance, support, information, advice, or whatever she needs to feel better in the moment. Because of his neediness, the conversation often revolves around his, and you can almost feel the life being sucked out of you during the conversation. This becomes a problem since this abrasive personality never takes into consideration the effect his being too needy has on you.

The Shamer.

A friend should be your biggest fan. The shamer can be hazardous to your health. The shamer may cut you off, put you down, reprimand you, or make fun of your or your ideas in front of others. He often ignores your boundaries and may try to convince you that his criticism is for you own good. The is the kind of abrasive person who make you question your own sanity before his.

The Discounter.

This type of abrasive personality often, if not all the time. discounts or challenges everything you say. Often, he has a strong need to be right and can find fault with any position. It can be exhausting to have a conversation with the discounter, so eventually you end up giving in and deciding to just listen.

The Gossip.

People talk about other people during conversations to avoid talking about themselves. That's exactly what this abrasive personality does. The gossip gets energy from relaying stories, opinions, and the latest "scoop." By gossiping about others, he creates a lack of safety in her relationships, whether he realizes it or not. After all, if he'll talk about someone else, he'll talk about you.

There are a thousand and one reasons why you're sticking it out with your so-called friend. Either way, if you decide to keep your friend with an abrasive personality- just make sure that you know how to handle them. And don't let them rule your life. After all, you can only take so much- and you can only be a friend for so long.

I can't stand gossipers.

In fact it bugged me so much because of the damage that it can cause that I once made it an office policy that gossip was not allowed under any circumstances.

The thing is though, especially after a few drinks, I can slip into having a good ole gossip about somebody myself. I do stop when I catch myself doing it though.

Definitely in my top ten of pet hates is people who start a sentence/conversation with: "Well I'm not one to gossip, but......"

(Would this make me a complainer on that list)

Dont worry Moonrakers, I would say doesnt make you a complainer at all. I personally believe its more a case of everything in moderation. I think its normal to occasionally gossip a bit (of course also depends on what kind of gossip. I mean, there can be people who are malicious and mean...then there is the close friend to close friend kind of "hey..did you hear that maybe x y z "..etc..but without malice). Normal, imo, to occasionally rant or complain about something too..and probably just about everything on that list. Like if you just got a promotion, then sure you are gonna be a bit "me, me, me" for the day. Its those who dont let up, who cant stop complaining or draining another persons energy that is the problem. Im sure those that are guilty of it probably would never realise they were doing it either (which again, discounts you!)

where was

' The one that always buys the first round at the pub after work ' ?

I have several "first out of the taxi, last into the pub" type friends, how does one counter this mysterious affliction?

I generally make them aware of the situation, it solves the problem one way or another.

Although if I know they are under 'pressure' on occasion, I will step in and undertake their round quietly, knowing I will have it reciprocated in the future.

How about the 'rose-colored glasses' types. Are we going to complain about them too?

Dont think they are a problem UG ..? Well unless they just go on and on and on..?

I dont mind being an ear for people, but I find quite a few people seem to like the sound of their own voices and never let you get a word in, or when you do speak it may as well be words wafting in the air, because they carry on with their own seminar. Likely because they have no real interesting in what anyone else has to say unless it directly involves them. I dont mind not being the main speaker, but i do like a 'conversation', not just being an audience for someone who wants to only talk about themselves and their experiences.

Well, I used to be conceited, but now I know I am not.

So there......

Yeah, well I'm just perfect!

When i go for a coffee, i often meet a "perfect" person or two, who Ioves to disturb my book reading or study to speaI about just how perfect they are... and just how imperfect everything eIse is.

Yeah, well I'm just perfect!

When i go for a coffee, i often meet a "perfect" person or two, who Ioves to disturb my book reading or study to speaI about just how perfect they are... and just how imperfect everything eIse is.

I'm wid tiggs...when yer perfect ye don't haveta talk about it...

(gonna make sum nice potato salad this afternoon...PERFECT potato salad...)

Do You Have Friends Like These?

Abrasive personalities 101: Are you friends with people that constantly drain your energy, in both obvious and subtle ways? Several types of people will exhaust you or deter you from your path of extreme self-care. The people with abrasive personalities will slowly but surely suck the life out of you. So watch out!

The Blamer.

This abrasive person consistently blames you and/or everyone else for his problems. Nothing ever seems to be his fault. The world and the people in it always seem to create havoc for this person, and instead of taking responsibility for his life, he would rather blame others. Nothing goes well for this person- or if ever something good does- he'll just shelve it and wait for the next big problem.

I hate it when people are right

The Complainer.

The complainer likes to hear his own voice. He constantly complains about what isn't working in his life and yet gets energy from complaining and dumping his frustrations on you. You are updated on his family woes, financial woes and all other problems he might encounter. Bad vibes all the time. This type of abrasive personality's greatest conversation is one with himself but he always likes to have an audience- and sadly that's you.

My wife says the same dam_n thing

The Drainer.

So you start your day with the biggest smile on your face, then you run across your abrasive friend who just sucks the life out of you. This is the needy person who calls to ask for your guidance, support, information, advice, or whatever she needs to feel better in the moment. Because of his neediness, the conversation often revolves around his, and you can almost feel the life being sucked out of you during the conversation. This becomes a problem since this abrasive personality never takes into consideration the effect his being too needy has on you.

Listen, if I got hear about your complaining about this and that, the least you can do is be quiet once and awhile.

The Shamer.

A friend should be your biggest fan. The shamer can be hazardous to your health. The shamer may cut you off, put you down, reprimand you, or make fun of your or your ideas in front of others. He often ignores your boundaries and may try to convince you that his criticism is for you own good. The is the kind of abrasive person who make you question your own sanity before his.

Better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid is what I always say to others.

The Discounter.

This type of abrasive personality often, if not all the time. discounts or challenges everything you say. Often, he has a strong need to be right and can find fault with any position. It can be exhausting to have a conversation with the discounter, so eventually you end up giving in and deciding to just listen.

If you weren't wrong all the time I wouldn't have to be right.

The Gossip.

People talk about other people during conversations to avoid talking about themselves. That's exactly what this abrasive personality does. The gossip gets energy from relaying stories, opinions, and the latest "scoop." By gossiping about others, he creates a lack of safety in her relationships, whether he realizes it or not. After all, if he'll talk about someone else, he'll talk about you.

It's far more fun to make fun of others when they are not listening.

There are a thousand and one reasons why you're sticking it out with your so-called friend. Either way, if you decide to keep your friend with an abrasive personality- just make sure that you know how to handle them. And don't let them rule your life. After all, you can only take so much- and you can only be a friend for so long.

Who needs you anyway!!

The type I can't stand are the ones who tend to talk down to people. They are the ones I would sack if I was their employer (no amount of retraining can help them, because they don't accept that there is anything wrong with their attitude). Call me sexist, but it seems to be a trait that is over represented in the fairer sex, in my experience - though some blokes are guilty of it. You see them in various situations:

- as shop attendants; treating customers as simpletons

- as flight attendants; treating passengers as inconveniences

- as hospital staff; talking to the elderly as they would talk to a child

- as restaurant/bar staff; either ignoring customers or being short with them

- as government employees; usually, there is a correlation between how junior they are in their role and how officious they are in their interactions with the public. However, some of this type of person can actually carry their arrogance through to quite senior levels.

We've all seen this type. Sometimes, we will know people who have a friend of this personality type - they try to dominate the conversation, turn discussions around to talking about themselves, and always know the correct answer/approach to any situation (it's pointless trying to argue actual facts with these types). They must wonder why others in the group all suddenly have other things they have to go and do.

I avoid all the people I dislike. This means I always know when to go out, when I'm ready, where to go, wherever I like, who's round it is, mine, what time to go home, when I've had enough, and who pays for the taxi, me.

The conversation isn't sparkling but I never get into an arguement.

- as restaurant/bar staff; either ignoring customers

Yeah, what is it with these types? You can stand at a bar with an empty glass waving a wad of money and these cretins will manage to look everywhere in the establishment except for that little blind spot, right in front of them about two feet away.