I have a male friend who always puts the lid down. One night i got up to pee and accidentaly (spelt spelled wrong) sat and peed on the lid of the comode. That was slightly embarrassing.

Patsy, why are you mopping the toilet floor at 4 am?

Patsy, as I mentioned, lazy wimmin dun look........ hehehe.

Reminds of when Glad wrap first came on the market.

Some brite sparks would cover the earthenmare part of the dunny, put the seat down and wait.

Both sexes were caught out....... so funny.

Cleaning up NOT so funny..........LOL.......PMPLMAO

Earthernmare ???

That's a fertility goddess, surely?

How embarrassing.

Good pickup, Humph.........LOL

Some sort of horse?

a ceramic one.

Solution:

Remove "The Seat"

^And put springs on the lid so that it bounces back up when someone is not sitting on it (interesting statement of grounds for divorce, though).

I have this flash Korean toilet in my bathroom, the seat has to be down for it to blinkin work.

I tried to get the bumgun part working for ages, then realised it needed a pressure switch tripped for the elctrics to work. Good thing to cos the bumgun is a little spout that moves out and sprays upwards hehehe.

Thankfully the seat is heated.

I used the loo in the Busan airport once a few years ago, the toilet seat when activated (ie when pressure is applied) started making bird whistling noises, I think in attempt to help once embarrassment factor whilst choking a darkie, suprisingly after the birds sang it went off on some speil about "Welcome to Busan. Koreas port city etc etc"

"choking a darkie"???? I haven't heard that one before, and I have to admit I find it a bit disturbing....but not disturbing enough for me to not adopt it

Why do some people sneeze as if the top of their head was going to blow off? Didn't they learn that spreading their germs hither and non is kinda disgusting?

"Sneezing" in your hands is disgusting as well.

Better than sneezing on me

Why do snakes not fall in love?

Oh, thats easy meadish. Cause they are cold blooded b@stards!

^^Love's not something to which they asp-ire? Lady snakes have hissy fits? Male snakes talk with forked tongues? Hmm, I don't know Meadish - you've got me rattled.

^^Love's not something to which they asp-ire? Lady snakes have hissy fits? Male snakes talk with forked tongues? Hmm, I don't know Meadish - you've got me rattled.

Love requires the right adder-tude.

"Sneezing" in your hands is disgusting as well.

Yes it is, that's what handkerchiefs are for

Why do some people sneeze as if the top of their head was going to blow off? Didn't they learn that spreading their germs hither and non is kinda disgusting?

I go as far as to say they are ignorant, stupid bastards

"Sneezing" in your hands is disgusting as well.

Yes it is, that's what handkerchiefs are for

Summun mention hankies?

Ya see the movie, "Préparez vos mouchoirs," waaay back.

Depardieu was priceless even so long ago.

.......who cares, and why......hehe?

Why do some people sneeze as if the top of their head was going to blow off? Didn't they learn that spreading their germs hither and non is kinda disgusting?

I go as far as to say they are ignorant, stupid bastards

hehe, I've been saying that about my brother-in-law for years, but it wasn't because he's got a sneeze as loud as sonic boom

Why is it that the intensity of the diarrhea is directly proportional to the lack of tissue in a public toilet?

Why is it that the intensity of the diarrhea is directly proportional to the lack of tissue in a public toilet?

This is very important.

I would also like an explanation for the magnetic affect that always draws the afflicted to the cubicle with no tissue, when the thrones either side are resplendent.

( edited for the question "does a bowel movement make your arse magnetic, and is there an evil genius somewhere who places attracting magnets in cubicles with no tissue ?" )

Or the fact that the only cubicle with a working lock is the Thai squat one whereas all the western style ones are broken.

Why is it that the intensity of the diarrhea is directly proportional to the lack of tissue in a public toilet?

Why when you have to go, the urgency increases the closer you get to the cubicle door. By the time you grab the handle it's preparing to explode out of you.

God forbid if they're ever all occupied

That happened to me once in TukCom Khon Kaen. I can laugh now but at the time I had the horrific mental scenario of shitting myself in a chock a block public mall and how on earth was I going to get home "soiled" as it were. Sincere apologies to the Thai bloke I practically knocked over as he exited the cubicle. The next dilemma faced being was I going to start shitting as my arse approached the toilet seat or would the gods smile on me and actually allow me to sit down.

Wonderful stuff.

They have good facilities at the Jung Ceylon shopping centre in Patong - but it is strictly BYO paper (for both ladies and gents). Unbelievable.

Whenever out shopping, in fact out of doors in LOS, roll of bog paper in backpack the first priority.

Why do some people sneeze as if the top of their head was going to blow off? Didn't they learn that spreading their germs hither and non is kinda disgusting?

I go as far as to say they are ignorant, stupid bastards

hehe, I've been saying that about my brother-in-law for years, but it wasn't because he's got a sneeze as loud as sonic boom

Why is it, no matter how hard I may try I simply cannot sneeze quietly?

Why can others sneeze like an air kiss yet mine are like a sonic boom? I just can't help it.

(however, knowing this I always sneeze into either a tissue or as close to the ground as possible)

Why are those Ghost Hunter type programs still running after several seasons?

It is akin a Fishing Show where the host never catches a fish...

Why oh why did my dearly loved deceased father tell me that burping is good for you? The louder the better?

I don't do it in public. But once burped in my kitchen and a friend swears that it ricocheted around my apartment. And he had to "duck".

My sister is worse. Drives mother up the wall...

Why are those Ghost Hunter type programs still running after several seasons?

It is akin a Fishing Show where the host never catches a fish...

Excellent question and observation, Tuky. I watched one of them when one particular series was first televised. There was a group of these ghost stalkers wandering around passageways, waiting in cellars and placing equipment in various rooms. Every now and then, one of them would let a startled yelp and asked if anyone had touched them - because something had brushed against them. Then there would be a noise, and they would ask each other if any of them had (1) heard the noise (2) made the noise. This went on for half an hour (or was it an hour) - it seemed to drag on forever. I cannot fathom how this sort of tripe can possibly rate. It's as intellectual as watching Jerry Springer and as exciting as watching a golf tournament.

And of course the usual EVP stuff.

EVP: Uunrhgurgh....

Presenter to haunted house owner: What do you think that sounds like?

HHO: I dunno.

Presenter: Well we think it sounds like " I was an infantryman who fell at the Battle of Gettysburg. My name is John Smith."

HHO: Oh yeah. When you listen again I can hear that quite distinctly"

<deleted>?