Yeah, Harcourt, but then if you allow such advanced physics, you have to start asking why we haven't *already* been contacted- and then I guess at that point we hear from the people who insist we have... and at that point I find my attention beginning to wane...

I watched "The day the Earth stood still" recently, when Keanu Reeves appeared my attention began to wane.

Yeah, Harcourt, but then if you allow such advanced physics, you have to start asking why we haven't *already* been contacted- and then I guess at that point we hear from the people who insist we have... and at that point I find my attention beginning to wane...

I watched "The day the Earth stood still" recently, when Keanu Reeves appeared my attention began to wane.

But it was good when the US Sec of State said to him "Why have you come to our planet". To wit he replied "Your Planet?"

Yeah, Harcourt, but then if you allow such advanced physics, you have to start asking why we haven't *already* been contacted- and then I guess at that point we hear from the people who insist we have... and at that point I find my attention beginning to wane...

I watched "The day the Earth stood still" recently, when Keanu Reeves appeared my attention began to wane.

yeah...an' whaddabout Invaders from Mars, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Thing an' The Village of the Damned?

sheesh...I wouldn't wanna meet any ob dem guys, no way

But then again, they might be little Spielberg-type ET's - running around getting pished and searching for phone booths. In any event, no extraterrestrial could be any worse than some of the pests we already have here on Earth; time share touts and tuk tuk drivers come to mind. Or maybe they'll be like many of the BiB - sling them a couple of hundred baht and they won't zap you with their ray guns - they'll let you off with a singeing ...

- they'll let you off with a singeing ...

Karaoke aliens? We are indeed doomed.

^Perhaps some Vogon poetry?

Greetings people from Earth. My name is Tiwkcid and I come from the great planet of Srekcofyzarc in the Orion Nebula (which, I understand, cat lovers know as Orion's Belt). We have lost contact with our advance party led by one of our infiltrator brethren who took the name of Arnold Blackknackers. We have been traveling for millions of your Earth years just to get here, after one of our local legends, Professor Squawkybox, said that we if we travel close to the speed of light, we'd get here in next to no time. (Unfortunately, someone misread his instructions and with the accelerator pedal to the metal, our 'Model X' deluxe supercharged sodium bicarbonate rocket could barely manage the speed of sound. Thank the stars it was an automatic.)

An early report from Arnie said your planet was ripe for pillaging the women and raping the lands, but we also received information that your planet was destroyed to make way for a galactic superhighway and that one of your god entities, by the name of Soundman, was trying to destroy the mice that were responsible for building your planet in the first place. It just goes to show that you cannot believe everything you read.

Well, since we are here now, you'd better take us to your leader - hopefully your planet only has one of them. We'd like to sit down with this person in some place that has a bit of a view - someone mentioned Afghanistan.

Oh, and by the way - we come in peace.

Silly alien Srekcofyzarcians. They should be raping the women and pillaging the land instead of the other way around.....but what can you expect from a civiliasation that only has baking powder propulsion.

I wonder where they get their vinegar?

I think they stole that idea from Kelloggs