Thailands Most Embarrassing Moments

[iwad2010]

My next-door-neighbour had a party.

It was nice; loads of food and, of course, a variety of whisky, brandy etc etc.

She had a couple of girlfriends staying over. She had a small bed, so I suggested that she use my room as I had a huge bed.

I would sleep in her room.

Needless-to-say, I had a few too many drinks and stumbled into bed at some stage during the night/early morning.

I woke up,without any sheets over me, hot, groggy, and, with an incredibly itchy ar*shole. Thinking I was alone, in the privacy of my own room, I gave it a good old scratch.

I was suddenly brought to the shudderingly embarrassing realisation that it was not my room and that a person was in the room, probably watching my every, filthy move!!!!! I put the cover over myself and pretended I was asleep!

I don't think I spoke to my neighbour for a good few weeks.

Maybe she never saw a thing!

Maybe she is telling this story right now.

I can laugh now, but at the time......I wanted to crawl in a hole (no pun) and die....

[ukrules]

I'm sure you will live through it, scratching your arse is hardly that embarrassing.

Were you wearing any clothes at all at the time ?

[onnut]

Eh! I thought I was drunk.

[iwad2010]

I'm sure you will live through it, scratching your arse is hardly that embarrassing.

Were you wearing any clothes at all at the time ?

No, I was nud_e.

Practically fingering myself...

[tgw]

the best is the smell of the fingers after that.

[tuky]

Smelling the finger afterwards would make this an embarassing moment.

[CarlBkk]

It could have been more embarrassing. You could have decided to have a wanq.

[iwad2010]

Smelling the finger afterwards would make this an embarassing moment.

I have caught my wife with that one a couple of times.

[tuky]

Smelling the finger afterwards would make this an embarassing moment.

I have caught my wife with that one a couple of times.

Hmm, woke up naked with an itchy @rse...

I have three questions for you my man...

How drunk were you?

Do you remember the last thing you did before you went to sleep?

Were there any other naked Men in the room?

hehehe

[iwad2010]

Smelling the finger afterwards would make this an embarassing moment.

I have caught my wife with that one a couple of times.

Hmm, woke up naked with an itchy @rse...

I have three questions for you my man...

How drunk were you?

Do you remember the last thing you did before you went to sleep?

Hey. I'm never tat drunk!!!!

I said itchy a-se, not sore @rse.!!!!

Were there any other naked Men in the room?

hehehe

[tuky]

Smelling the finger afterwards would make this an embarassing moment.

I have caught my wife with that one a couple of times.

Hmm, woke up naked with an itchy @rse...

I have three questions for you my man...

How drunk were you?

Do you remember the last thing you did before you went to sleep?

Hey. I'm never tat drunk!!!!

I said itchy a-se, not sore @rse.!!!!

Were there any other naked Men in the room?

hehehe

Gotta have a laugh this early in the morning mate.

:)

[seri thai]

Thailands most embarrassing moments? From a fahrang perspective:

PAD Airport Sit-In

Prosecution of Lese-Majeste

A certain recent TV show in Australia-allegedly

Everytime the Foreign Minister speaks in public

Red Shirt protest at Pattaya ASEAN meeting

Treatment of Rohingya and Hmong refugees

MP Thaksin Shinawatra found guilty of corrupt practices

Allowed by judiciary to become Prime Minister anyway

Tak Bai

2006 Military Coup

Thai Prime Minister found guilty of corrupt practices (again..), flees country

Every time the alleged sex industry and alleged police corruption are erm..alleged

Watch this space.. the world is. Lucky it has a short attention span

[Naam]

Smelling the finger afterwards would make this an embarassing moment.

I have caught my wife with that one a couple of times.

Hmm, woke up naked with an itchy @rse...

I have three questions for you my man...

How drunk were you?

Do you remember the last thing you did before you went to sleep?

Were there any other naked Men in the room?

hehehe

or a "Lady" with boobs and a pecker?

[Thakkar]

I'm sure you will live through it, scratching your arse is hardly that embarrassing.

Were you wearing any clothes at all at the time ?

No, I was nud_e.

Practically fingering myself...

Ugh. I did not need to know that.

And I really, really did not need to know this:

Smelling the finger afterwards...

I have caught my wife with that one a couple of times.

On a related note, I have found to my delight that the bum spray found in all Thai toilets is ideal for but scratching. Provided you use it to spray water at the itchy area instead of using the implement directly.

As for embarrassing Thai moment, a minor one: I drove to Honda complaining that my car lock remote didn't work. The nice man cracked open the remote and showed me that the battery needed changing.

The MIL was staying with me to help look after the kids and dogs while Mrs.T was on a trip to HK. I walked in on MIL while she was stark naked exiting the shower. When she came out still blushing, I thought I'd ease the situation by joking whether I'd now have to marry her. It just made things worse.

[Koh_Falang]

I'm sure you will live through it, scratching your arse is hardly that embarrassing.

Were you wearing any clothes at all at the time ?

No, I was nud_e.

Practically fingering myself...

Ugh. I did not need to know that.

And I really, really did not need to know this:

Smelling the finger afterwards...

I have caught my wife with that one a couple of times.

On a related note, I have found to my delight that the bum spray found in all Thai toilets is ideal for but scratching. Provided you use it to spray water at the itchy area instead of using the implement directly.

As for embarrassing Thai moment, a minor one: I drove to Honda complaining that my car lock remote didn't work. The nice man cracked open the remote and showed me that the battery needed changing.

The MIL was staying with me to help look after the kids and dogs while Mrs.T was on a trip to HK. I walked in on MIL while she was stark naked exiting the shower. When she came out still blushing, I thought I'd ease the situation by joking whether I'd now have to marry her. It just made things worse.

ohhh crap i think i pooed my pants from laughing so hard.... haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Takeo]

i was looking at this post, thinking i wish i had a great story for this post, something must have happend while i was here that others would find amusing. Nope i had nothing......until i remembered.

It was a few years back and i was at a bar, its a bit out of the way and you dont see too many tourists there. So anyways i was with some of my thai mates. One of my mates girlfriends mates had taken a liking to me.

So after an enjoyable time at the bar, it was time to leave. She asked me back, all was going well.

We ended up back at her apartment, not too far away, again no problems here. Then it got a bit more heated. Anyways, being the young man i was, i wasnt really thinking i was going to get lucky and hadnt brought any rubber.

Being Thailand thank God there was a 7eleven on the corner. So i put my shirt on said no problem ill go get some, ran down the road, got them fine. Had her small key for the main door, ran up the stairs.... then i had the thought what floor, at this point i was standing on the 3rd floor condoms in hand, with a confused security guard who had been doing his rounds. I though its got to be the 4th floor, so headed up, security guard following slowly. Get up there and again what room, i tried the door i was sure of.

At this point the guard is at the end of his corridor with his flash light as im banging on the door praying it opens. Thank God it opened, only it wasnt who i was expecting, where i had left a young 20 something, this was a women who was pushing her 60s. What a picture my face must have looked.

Id only gone and got the wrong door, i apologised as best i could, and then proceeded with banging on the next door (probably not the best idea to gamble on doors in a building with many).

So i was standing there knocking on a door, with a guard pointing his flashlight at me, it opens, its the right one, ive never dived through a smaller opening. I was in a panic, she was looking at me oblivious to it all. all well that ends well

[Koh_Falang]

i was looking at this post, thinking i wish i had a great story for this post, something must have happend while i was here that others would find amusing. Nope i had nothing......until i remembered.

It was a few years back and i was at a bar, its a bit out of the way and you dont see too many tourists there. So anyways i was with some of my thai mates. One of my mates girlfriends mates had taken a liking to me.

So after an enjoyable time at the bar, it was time to leave. She asked me back, all was going well.

We ended up back at her apartment, not too far away, again no problems here. Then it got a bit more heated. Anyways, being the young man i was, i wasnt really thinking i was going to get lucky and hadnt brought any rubber.

Being Thailand thank God there was a 7eleven on the corner. So i put my shirt on said no problem ill go get some, ran down the road, got them fine. Had her small key for the main door, ran up the stairs.... then i had the thought what floor, at this point i was standing on the 3rd floor condoms in hand, with a confused security guard who had been doing his rounds. I though its got to be the 4th floor, so headed up, security guard following slowly. Get up there and again what room, i tried the door i was sure of.

At this point the guard is at the end of his corridor with his flash light as im banging on the door praying it opens. Thank God it opened, only it wasnt who i was expecting, where i had left a young 20 something, this was a women who was pushing her 60s. What a picture my face must have looked.

Id only gone and got the wrong door, i apologised as best i could, and then proceeded with banging on the next door (probably not the best idea to gamble on doors in a building with many).

So i was standing there knocking on a door, with a guard pointing his flashlight at me, it opens, its the right one, ive never dived through a smaller opening. I was in a panic, she was looking at me oblivious to it all. all well that ends well

did you bonk her silly and accidently go the wrong hole or what? is that the story??

[iwad2010]

i was looking at this post, thinking i wish i had a great story for this post, something must have happend while i was here that others would find amusing. Nope i had nothing......until i remembered.

It was a few years back and i was at a bar, its a bit out of the way and you dont see too many tourists there. So anyways i was with some of my thai mates. One of my mates girlfriends mates had taken a liking to me.

So after an enjoyable time at the bar, it was time to leave. She asked me back, all was going well.

We ended up back at her apartment, not too far away, again no problems here. Then it got a bit more heated. Anyways, being the young man i was, i wasnt really thinking i was going to get lucky and hadnt brought any rubber.

Being Thailand thank God there was a 7eleven on the corner. So i put my shirt on said no problem ill go get some, ran down the road, got them fine. Had her small key for the main door, ran up the stairs.... then i had the thought what floor, at this point i was standing on the 3rd floor condoms in hand, with a confused security guard who had been doing his rounds. I though its got to be the 4th floor, so headed up, security guard following slowly. Get up there and again what room, i tried the door i was sure of.

At this point the guard is at the end of his corridor with his flash light as im banging on the door praying it opens. Thank God it opened, only it wasnt who i was expecting, where i had left a young 20 something, this was a women who was pushing her 60s. What a picture my face must have looked.

Id only gone and got the wrong door, i apologised as best i could, and then proceeded with banging on the next door (probably not the best idea to gamble on doors in a building with many).

So i was standing there knocking on a door, with a guard pointing his flashlight at me, it opens, its the right one, ive never dived through a smaller opening. I was in a panic, she was looking at me oblivious to it all. all well that ends well

Yeah, ive dived into a few small openings

[galvheim]

Picking your teeth in a public place still seems to be most embarrassing thing for a thai... Swinging your ass in a gogo-pole - not so...

I my case I was on one of my early dates with my girlfriend and as we sat there she introduced me to a couple of her own friends. I had just had a cold and still had a bad cough and sore troat. So we got a few beers there, and I decided to take a cigarette. This made my throat more itchy. I took a big sip of my can (with beer) and suddenly it went into my wrong throat (so to speak) and I just automatically sprayed down her and her friends (in public) by coughing my beer on them with great force. I went everywhere and they where allmost dripping. They not made any effort by easing the situation, joking about it or saying something like "this can happen to everybody", but instead sitting there very emberrassed, muted and regretting they ever sat down there. I did some effort to stop coughing while trying to get them a towel or tissue.... I wish I had brought my invicible coat with me that day. But luckily there was more beer at hand and I really had to drink a few to stop thinking about it.

[Sunbelt Asia]

It's pretty amazing what people post about themselves for the world to read.

First time, meeting up... Hey weren't you the guy with the itchy bumhole?

Nice one!

[iwad2010]

Picking your teeth in a public place still seems to be most embarrassing thing for a thai... Swinging your ass in a gogo-pole - not so...

I my case I was on one of my early dates with my girlfriend and as we sat there she introduced me to a couple of her own friends. I had just had a cold and still had a bad cough and sore troat. So we got a few beers there, and I decided to take a cigarette. This made my throat more itchy. I took a big sip of my can (with beer) and suddenly it went into my wrong throat (so to speak) and I just automatically sprayed down her and her friends (in public) by coughing my beer on them with great force. I went everywhere and they where allmost dripping. They not made any effort by easing the situation, joking about it or saying something like "this can happen to everybody", but instead sitting there very emberrassed, muted and regretting they ever sat down there. I did some effort to stop coughing while trying to get them a towel or tissue.... I wish I had brought my invicible coat with me that day. But luckily there was more beer at hand and I really had to drink a few to stop thinking about it.

Hmm, not a good experience. The best option is always to have another beer.

[toptuan]

Didn't happen to me, but borrowed from a friend, a university instructor...

"I should have anticipated this happening long ago. I mean, what are the odds?

"I go to step on the songtaew this morning, it's fairly empty, a few girls seated and 2 young men standing on the extended platform at the back edge. But just as I put one foot on the step and shift my weight forward, the goober takes off. I flail my arms reaching for the bars that the two boys are standing between. That's when it happened. In my desperation, I frantically grabbed for anything to keep from tumbling over backwards. In this case it was a wild grab that landed right between the one kid's legs. Spot on. Couldn't have placed it better if I had been intentionally going for the gold. A direct hit right to the kahoonas. Willy Mays in his finest moment couldn't have made a more accurate snag.

"What to say? What do you do? Does Emily Post offer a proper response in such circumstances? Does Hallmark make a card for these occasions? Do you say, "Sorry I accosted your manhood?" Or a more flip "Oops, terribly sorry, thought that was the pole." Or do you do like I do, and pretend you are totally unaware of what has transpired?

"I effuse apologies and pardon me's but the truth is, there are simply no words to excuse this kind of behavior. Not in Thailand, anyway. I stared at my feet for the rest of the trip and prayed to God I never see this kid again for the rest of my life. It's not like I can hope to fade into the crowd. Is it any wonder they think we Americans are all a bit peculiar?

"Some days I'd just like to hide under a rock."

[iwad2010]

Didn't happen to me, but borrowed from a friend, a university instructor...

"I should have anticipated this happening long ago. I mean, what are the odds?

"I go to step on the songtaew this morning, it's fairly empty, a few girls seated and 2 young men standing on the extended platform at the back edge. But just as I put one foot on the step and shift my weight forward, the goober takes off. I flail my arms reaching for the bars that the two boys are standing between. That's when it happened. In my desperation, I frantically grabbed for anything to keep from tumbling over backwards. In this case it was a wild grab that landed right between the one kid's legs. Spot on. Couldn't have placed it better if I had been intentionally going for the gold. A direct hit right to the kahoonas. Willy Mays in his finest moment couldn't have made a more accurate snag.

"What to say? What do you do? Does Emily Post offer a proper response in such circumstances? Does Hallmark make a card for these occasions? Do you say, "Sorry I accosted your manhood?" Or a more flip "Oops, terribly sorry, thought that was the pole." Or do you do like I do, and pretend you are totally unaware of what has transpired?

"I effuse apologies and pardon me's but the truth is, there are simply no words to excuse this kind of behavior. Not in Thailand, anyway. I stared at my feet for the rest of the trip and prayed to God I never see this kid again for the rest of my life. It's not like I can hope to fade into the crowd. Is it any wonder they think we Americans are all a bit peculiar?

"Some days I'd just like to hide under a rock."

I once saw a rather large lady hang onto an old London Bus (routemaster) as it was pulling away. She couldn't keep up, but she didn't let go. She was dragged on her gut for aprox 80yds. I don't know what made her hang on for so long. I watched with horror, but chuckled a bit when she got up and brushed herself down.

[sbk]

Goodness, mine are pretty tame then.

I talk to myself, sometimes out loud, and if no one is around then I like to get into a nice little rant. So, here I am, in the kitchen ranting away at myself over something, rather loudly. Suddenly, something made me turn around and there is my neighbor lady in the back door looking at me like a lunatic escaped from the asylum.. I smiled and asked her in Thai what she needed.

I am sure that she gave me a really wide berth for months after that

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

After a massage on Samui the sheet that I had covering my bottom half suddenly blew open thanks to a gust of rogue wind, revealing my crown jewels to about 5 masseuses and a chunky lass lying on her back!

I swiveled 180 degrees and tried to wrestle the sheet with both hands (obviously showing them my backside, not much of a better sight)... the sheet then proceeded to loosen enough around my waist as to almost tumble to ground. I just grabbed as much of it as I could with both hands, covering as much as my modesty as possible and legged it the short distance to the changing rooms, pretty much butt naked!

Whilst getting changed I could clearly hear the loud shouts of laughter coming from the women... I hadn't yet paid and had to face them after pulling on my shorts and tee shirt.

Hugely embarrassing at the time - I'd only been in Thailand (28 y.o.) a few weeks... if it happened now, to this "6 year veteran", I'd probably just let it all hang out and laugh with them!

[mmushr00m]

Not really embarrassing but my 1st encounter with the washroom massager.

Was in a hotel up in chiang mai, there I was taking a piss when a complete stranger put his arms on my shoulder. I immediately swivelled and elbowed the pervert/molester/rapist in the head while spraying the guy next to me with a stream of piss. Then with my willy still sticking out I proceeded to stomp on the guy. Basically I started a brawl in a 4* hotel washroom

Also had to pay the guy B1000 for the damages inflicted and apologise profusely to everyone.

[mca]

Didn't happen to me, but borrowed from a friend, a university instructor...

"I should have anticipated this happening long ago. I mean, what are the odds?

"I go to step on the songtaew this morning, it's fairly empty, a few girls seated and 2 young men standing on the extended platform at the back edge. But just as I put one foot on the step and shift my weight forward, the goober takes off. I flail my arms reaching for the bars that the two boys are standing between. That's when it happened. In my desperation, I frantically grabbed for anything to keep from tumbling over backwards. In this case it was a wild grab that landed right between the one kid's legs. Spot on. Couldn't have placed it better if I had been intentionally going for the gold. A direct hit right to the kahoonas. Willy Mays in his finest moment couldn't have made a more accurate snag.

"What to say? What do you do? Does Emily Post offer a proper response in such circumstances? Does Hallmark make a card for these occasions? Do you say, "Sorry I accosted your manhood?" Or a more flip "Oops, terribly sorry, thought that was the pole." Or do you do like I do, and pretend you are totally unaware of what has transpired?

"I effuse apologies and pardon me's but the truth is, there are simply no words to excuse this kind of behavior. Not in Thailand, anyway. I stared at my feet for the rest of the trip and prayed to God I never see this kid again for the rest of my life. It's not like I can hope to fade into the crowd. Is it any wonder they think we Americans are all a bit peculiar?

"Some days I'd just like to hide under a rock."

I was in a crowded lift in TukCom Khon Kaen ( and anybody who's been there knows how crap they are) and it shuddered to a stop between floors. Being caught off guard my hand flew out to steady myself straight onto one of the boobs of a severe looking 30 something bank worker woman.

I certainly perfected my " grovelling apology" wai in the following seconds after that.

[Charger770]

Rather than mention a moment from the past, I thought I'd mention one I'm about to have..

Last nite I ate a mango and went to bed with a tingle in my top lip. Didn't think much of it.

This morning my top lip has swelled to 2 or 3 times it's size and I look nothing short of ridiculous.

I look like an mbuti tribesman.

The minute I step outside I'm conviced people are going to pizz themselves laughing. I can't even keep a straight face when looking in the mirror...

(My research tell me it's a reaction to Mango tree sap.)