<deleted>, I had wriiten a whole spiel and one touch of the wrong key and it was all deleted. Crap.....I am so angry that there is no undo button....

ok, let me start again, but I am sure it will not be as eloquent as my original.

I have recently been trying to figure out what went wrong in my marriage.

I was pretty much brought up by a man who was a war orphan, he taught me that the worth of a man is in his handshake, a woman's role in the family is taking care of the house, children should be seen and not heard etc etc.

I took all that on board, but in my formulative years I added new lessons and new outlooks.

I would hope I am a well rounded individual when it comes to the home life.

I am sure I am not however, so I have been looking into things and trying to keep an open mind.

Today I read this article that I found not only enlightning for myself, but perhaps relevant to many who live in Asia.

It is a blog taken from an Aussie news network at http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/index.php/n..._women_so_much/

and the particular post I wish to quote is...

First of all OP, in the sense of fairness, let’s not forget some of the female posters on here are just as bad with their “men-bashing”. Also, bear in mind that we have absolutely no idea of the real sex of any poster, except what they claim to be.

Now if I could just expand on what you’ve said Mahhrat:

Essentially there is no such thing as gender equality. Men and women are too different to ever be truly equal - at least in the sense where one sex is completely content with their standing in regard to the opposite sex. Usually when we talk about “equality” we are referring to jobs - that a woman can work any job a man can, and be paid the same amount for it. This is quite fair to ask, but it’s where all the trouble has started (in terms of modern man’s dissatisfaction with women).

Hark back to the dawn of humankind. Back then, men used their superior physicality to dominate women. Since the average women could not match the raw physical power of the average man, they needed to resort to other tactics - they had to rely on their intellect and/or sexuality to get what they want. Over the centuries, these tactics have barely changed. If a man seeks to one-up a woman, instinctively he will resort to physical means - grabbing/pushing her, hitting her, choking her i.e. violence (or even the threat of violence). It can be seen as a man taking advantage of the inherent “weakness” in women (their physical stature). In the case of a woman seeking dominance over a man, she will resort to manipulation (usually sexual or emotional) i.e. taking advantage of the inherent “weakness” in men - commonly perceived as “stupidity”, it is actually the inability to resist baser, natural instincts (the urge to mate).

Of course, the opposite sex has sought to diffuse or counter these tactics, and we still see the results in common arguments against the opposite sex:

Women: “Why is it, if a man sleeps with many different woman, he is labeled a ‘stud’[positive], while the female equivalent is called a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’[negative]?” Cast aside the semantics that ‘stud’ has exactly the same meaning when it comes to livestock, and that being a ‘whore’ was once a respected career for a woman - it’s because men are ware of the power women have over them sexually, hence any woman displaying overt sexuality must be ‘cast down’ in their eyes, in an attempt to neutralize this power.

Men: “Why is it, for all their talk of equality, that if a women strikes a man, or goads him in equal measure, it is still frowned upon for a man to strike her back?” Again, vestiges of the Victorian era aside, and ignoring any legal foibles (let’s claim ‘self-defence’) - the taboo of a man hitting a woman, and being a lessar man for it, has existed for centuries - most likely instigated by a clever woman exploiting the fragile male ego! This ‘shaming’ of men counters their natural physical dominance, attempting to neutralize that advantage.

Fast forward to today. In our (Western) society, violence (or threat thereof) towards women (or anybody for that matter) is illegal. Man’s “tactic” against women has been neutralized. So now, unless he can compete with her on an intellectual level, the man feels powerless in any conflict/competition with a woman (the men who can’t handle this resort to the old ways, and domestic abuse/assault is the result). However, in legal terms, a woman is free to use her sexuality as a weapon or bargaining tool i.e. a women is still allowed to use her “advantage” against men. Arguably, violence as an action is much more heinous than sexual manipulation - but when the result may be the same (one person left powerless, feeling abused, psychologically/physically damaged), are we just arguing semantics?

Now back to women and jobs. The centuries-long-traditional role of men as breadwinners/hunters/pack-leaders has been usurped, and is all but irrelevant nowadays. Not only can men work with women, but for women as well. And as the last election would indicate, we aren’t very far from a female President of the USA - widely regarded as the most powerful position in the entire world. All within the last 50 years or so. Combine this with the fact that society denies you the use of your “tactical advantage”, is it any surprise that some men these days are intimidated/threatened/resentful of women?

I’ve ignored strong psychological damage that may result in a misplaced hatred of a particular gender because I don’t think that’s what the OP meant in her questioning.

OP and other women: if you truly wish to change this attitude, then stop with the “mind games”. Resolve disputes with rationality and compromise, not by withholding sexual favours or resorting to emotional blackmail. Just as I’d advise a woman to leave a physically abusive relationship, I’d say the same thing to a man suffering from emotional/sexual blackmail. Essentially, it’s one sex using a natural advantage over the other, which is unfair.

This comes with the disclaimer that I have been talking in general terms. Of course there are women who would not consider the use sexual manipulation, there are men who would not even think of striking a woman, there are women who fight back, there are men who will not succumb to sexual temptation, there are women who physically abuse men, there are men you emotionally blackmail women etc. And I acknowledge their existence. But I think you’ll find, these are exceptions to the rules, not disqualifiers of them.

I wish my original post had not been deleted as it spoke what I truly wanted to say, what I have said here is a poor copy of my original reason to post this topic.

Anyway, perhaps this can still create some debate and perhaps one or two pearls of wisdom that those of us willing will take onboard.

Thanks for listening.

BTW, sorry about the formatting...cut n paste doesn't always work out.

I like this one...

Could that have anything to do with the ‘90s trend of axe-wielding feminists who tried to change the spelling of “woman” to “womin” and “women” to “wimmin” because it was sexist to have the word “man” represented in a word that described someone of the female sex?

You can’t say wo(man).

You can’t say wo(men).

You can’t say fe(male).

You can’t say lady because it sounds like you want to open doors for them and that’s just not cricket.

What the hel_l are we supposed to call you people?

I (hope) am most certainly not woman bashing here, I am just very interested in this topic as I guess my past experiences have left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

So, I hope with all my heart that I am taken in the correct pretence, I am just trying to learn and perhaps better myself.

BTW, yes I have been drinking.

I am in Bali at the moment, and coincidence has led me to spend a day with my Mum and Dad, Sister and Nephew. This is also the first meeting of my GF, my daughter and her Aussie outlaws, today was such a good day that I was led to try and learn as much about relationships as I could so perhaps I have a chance to repeat my parents 40+ years marriage.

Apologies to those who see this as a rant or anything other than it really is.

Bali is always a nice place to spend a few days.

Bali is always a nice place to spend a few days.

Sure is mate...my first time too...

Did I put this across poorly?

Nevermind, I am guilty of much worse here on TV.

I honestly think it is only men who think about this stuff too much. If you have met someone who suits you & who you can have a relationship with in whatever role or guise, then forget about the rest, or what other people tell you women or men should do or not. Just be.

I really hate it when I hear "oh he must be sick of that nagging cow" or other similar disparaging remarks against someone elses partner, just cause you wouldn't have a relationship with that person doesn't mean that someone else wont find their qualities suitable for them.

All this "men & womens roles" blah blah blah quite honestly gets my goat.

Get over it, the world has changed, men aren't cave men anymore & women dont need to resort to manipulation & ego stroking to achieve things that were previous denied them. Really just get over it & accept the differences.

I honestly think it is only men who think about this stuff too much. If you have met someone who suits you & who you can have a relationship with in whatever role or guise, then forget about the rest, or what other people tell you women or men should do or not. Just be.

I really hate it when I hear "oh he must be sick of that nagging cow" or other similar disparaging remarks against someone elses partner, just cause you wouldn't have a relationship with that person doesn't mean that someone else wont find their qualities suitable for them.

All this "men & womens roles" blah blah blah quite honestly gets my goat.

Get over it, the world has changed, men aren't cave men anymore & women dont need to resort to manipulation & ego stroking to achieve things that were previous denied them. Really just get over it & accept the differences.

I think he IS accepting the fact of the differences......but has seen those differences in a different light.

I have for a long time held the belief that sexual equality is a silly thing to try to achieve. Sexual equivalancy, however, should be sought.

I like the insight of the quoted text....it's something I am sure many men have felt but have not quite vocalised. I have expressed it, and heard it expressed, as "since women's lib, the pendulum has swung too far." The blogger has put his (her?) finger on it though.

Then we must have read two different posts. I read it as he found someone who agreed with his own views on male/female roles issues in the world but tbh when I read;

is it any surprise that some men these days are intimidated/threatened/resentful of women?

In relation to women being afforded some level of equality in jobs & salaries, then I do have an issue.

Is it really so threatening that a women might be your boss, or that a women might earn more than you or that you might be expected to do housework or childcare. ?

The posts tuky quoted seemed to be aimed at a women poster on another forum & I figure the reply was from a man, cause it was (as tends to be when men talk about what women are doing "wrong") blaming women for mens insecurities. Something I also find ridiculous cause imo, if you can't sort your own shit out then why expect that others should pander to you?

My main example is this;

OP and other women: if you truly wish to change this attitude, then stop with the “mind games”. Resolve disputes with rationality and compromise, not by withholding sexual favours or resorting to emotional blackmail. Just as I’d advise a woman to leave a physically abusive relationship, I’d say the same thing to a man suffering from emotional/sexual blackmail. Essentially, it’s one sex using a natural advantage over the other, which is unfair.

It's a bit like the old, if a women is being harsh, she is called a bitch where as a man is called honest or forthright. If a man is being bested by a women then she must be using mind games, emotional blackmail or sexual manipulation & that rationality & compromise play no part. Plenty of women don't use these tactics as is mentioned in a later part of the quote but I find it interesting that this person has placed "blame" on all other women for the ones who do & it is some sort of argument for why some men might have an issue with other women as a result.

OP and other women: if you truly wish to change this attitude, then stop with the

Some people will have no problem with this & the myriad of other so called "gender" roles getting mixed around & some people will. My point is you find whoever agrees or suits your ideas & don't give a stuff about what anyone else chooses.

I doubt very much that tuky could last 5 minutes with a women like me, I hold my husband up as a capable man in all fields, I would never deny him his chance to do what he wants, be that cooking, golfing, looking after his son, working in his chosen profession or anything else he saw fit to take on but in the same vien I wont live with someone who ignores or refuses to take part in his marital & familial duties too so I found a man who matched my outlook on family & life.

Some women I suppose might have a problem with his earning less than me in the job he loves or that his cooking skills well surpass mine, some men might be threatened by my higher earning ability or that I do all the driving & that he actually enjoys cooking & washing up or that I expect him to take care of his sons needs in equal measures, some women might get annoyed that I take on the majority of the housework & some men might might find it sexist that I never do DIY as I consider it a "man job". The list of so called "traditional roles" that we contradict is endless.

The point is, we (mr boo & me) don't follow some cookie cutter of what men & women are supposed to be, I find no one does but some people are forced into it by upbringing & social education. The happiest people imo are the ones who can break free of these "learned" expectations.

I work in the construction industry, on the site side usually, building things or digging bloody great holes.

This life means working in a dictatorship, as it is impossible to run any site as a cooperative or democratic industry. What the boss says, goes.

And so far the boss has always been a man.

When I started there were very few women in the industry - now there is a fair leavening, but in the lower positions in most cases - on the current site most of the rebar fixers are women, who are more adept at tying the bars together. Outside on the streets it is the women who place the pebbles carefully in the holes in the road. Again, more adept.

In Singapore, on the other hand, there are women at all levels in industry, but I do not know of any women site managers.

Most of my working life has been spent in the Middle East, on oil & gas and power plants, so maybe my experience is limited in this respect.

My three marriages have given me some experience of women, but I still don't understand them, or their thoughts. Will be embarking on my fourth marriage later this year. Hope it lasts longer and is better than the others. (The last one, in Thailand, was a disaster - absolutely no common understanding - even though it lasted ten years)

I like this one...

Could that have anything to do with the ‘90s trend of axe-wielding feminists who tried to change the spelling of “woman” to “womin” and “women” to “wimmin” because it was sexist to have the word “man” represented in a word that described someone of the female sex?

You can’t say wo(man).

You can’t say wo(men).

You can’t say fe(male).

You can’t say lady because it sounds like you want to open doors for them and that’s just not cricket.

What the hel_l are we supposed to call you people?

and this one is so far out of the reality of any women I know that it amazes me guys still feel the need to bring up this kind of crap (cause thats what it is) that has zero relevance to most women. any excuse I suspect.

I have a friend who blames her ex for all her troubles today. the guy was a cokehead and went through all her savings. Fact was, she picked the guy, she allowed him to use and abuse her. Fact is, the only person responsible for her continuing to make extremely poor choices as far as men go is herself.

There comes a time in every adult's life (or there should) when they understand that the ONLY person responsible for the way their lives are is themselves. If you are adult enough to make choices then you are adult enough to own up to the stupid and wrong ones you made.

You're not suggesting that common sense should play a role in the human reproductive process are you?

But then I suppose it would do wonders for the gene pool.

Then we must have read two different posts. I read it as he found someone who agreed with his own views on male/female roles issues in the world but tbh when I read;

is it any surprise that some men these days are intimidated/threatened/resentful of women?

In relation to women being afforded some level of equality in jobs & salaries, then I do have an issue.

Is it really so threatening that a women might be your boss, or that a women might earn more than you or that you might be expected to do housework or childcare. ?

The posts tuky quoted seemed to be aimed at a women poster on another forum & I figure the reply was from a man, cause it was (as tends to be when men talk about what women are doing "wrong") blaming women for mens insecurities. Something I also find ridiculous cause imo, if you can't sort your own shit out then why expect that others should pander to you?

My main example is this;

OP and other women: if you truly wish to change this attitude, then stop with the "mind games". Resolve disputes with rationality and compromise, not by withholding sexual favours or resorting to emotional blackmail. Just as I'd advise a woman to leave a physically abusive relationship, I'd say the same thing to a man suffering from emotional/sexual blackmail. Essentially, it's one sex using a natural advantage over the other, which is unfair.

It's a bit like the old, if a women is being harsh, she is called a bitch where as a man is called honest or forthright. If a man is being bested by a women then she must be using mind games, emotional blackmail or sexual manipulation & that rationality & compromise play no part. Plenty of women don't use these tactics as is mentioned in a later part of the quote but I find it interesting that this person has placed "blame" on all other women for the ones who do & it is some sort of argument for why some men might have an issue with other women as a result.

OP and other women: if you truly wish to change this attitude, then stop with the

Some people will have no problem with this & the myriad of other so called "gender" roles getting mixed around & some people will. My point is you find whoever agrees or suits your ideas & don't give a stuff about what anyone else chooses.

I doubt very much that tuky could last 5 minutes with a women like me, I hold my husband up as a capable man in all fields, I would never deny him his chance to do what he wants, be that cooking, golfing, looking after his son, working in his chosen profession or anything else he saw fit to take on but in the same vien I wont live with someone who ignores or refuses to take part in his marital & familial duties too so I found a man who matched my outlook on family & life.

Some women I suppose might have a problem with his earning less than me in the job he loves or that his cooking skills well surpass mine, some men might be threatened by my higher earning ability or that I do all the driving & that he actually enjoys cooking & washing up or that I expect him to take care of his sons needs in equal measures, some women might get annoyed that I take on the majority of the housework & some men might might find it sexist that I never do DIY as I consider it a "man job". The list of so called "traditional roles" that we contradict is endless.

The point is, we (mr boo & me) don't follow some cookie cutter of what men & women are supposed to be, I find no one does but some people are forced into it by upbringing & social education. The happiest people imo are the ones who can break free of these "learned" expectations.

I didn't pick up on the "cookie cutter traditional roles" aspect. I have a very simmilar attitude as you to that, and as a man, I'm proud of Mr Boo for being what I call a "real man", and happy for you. Mr Boo sounds like the kind of guy that gives us men a good name....heaven knows there's more than enough that give us a bad rep.

Personally, I would LOVE it if my partner earned more than me, and I have no problem with a female boss. The only domestic duty I avoid is ironing....but I avoid the "man's job" of painting too....I find both jobs to be mundane.

I do not hold with "traditional roles" per se....but lets face it, if I am more suited to heavy work in the garden, it would be silly of me to insist that my partner do her fair share of it for the sake of equality. Far better to have equivalancy whereby she would NOT do her share of heavy garden work, rather she might do more household chores than I.

What I did pick up from the OP was a view of a bigger picture of unfairness. Men have reined in their primordial advantage (albeit not from choice but by social and legal decree....but it has become "normal" now, so much so that men do not consider the legal or social aspects; it's just the done thing to not use your physical dominance.) whereas women still use their natural advantages.

You're not suggesting that common sense should play a role in the human reproductive process are you?

But then I suppose it would do wonders for the gene pool.

An OTB subject: selective breeding and the other side of that coin; eugenics.

I'm a proponant of both.

Having stated that....I confess to being ruled by my heart or loins rather than my brain when it comes to women.

Much to my own misfortune.......but SBK is right; it is all my own fault.

I'm glad I'm queer

Great reply, Endure!! Kiss to you!!!

I'm glad I'm queer

I am not the only guy, at a time of deep melancholy over a woman, that has said, "Maybe I should just be gay".

And this is quite pertinant to the topic at hand: the insecurities and feelings of being hit while your hands are tied, at the hands of (some) women.

And a scary thought.....talking about "sexual security in Bedlam......

I'm glad I'm queer

I am not the only guy, at a time of deep melancholy over a woman, that has said, "Maybe I should just be gay".

'Maybe I should just be gay' You have no f*cking idea...

Good post Tuky, well said and a very interesting and highly relevant topic.

I just find it interesting, and perhaps a little funny.

But in the big picture, whether we believe it or not these kinds of things do factor in our lives.

Well, whatever anyone thinks or feels about gender issues, the OP sure got a few words in reply.

OK, how about from the other side of the coin? interested guys? Curious at all at what women go through or is it just easier to sit there and wring your hands and talk about how you are victimized by women?

Somehow I don't think you have any idea what its like to be a woman. The intimidation by alot of men as you walk down the street, getting stripped naked by someone's eyes on a regular basis, the catcalls. Its not that pleasant and not always welcome. And sometimes downright threatening. But then, if we dont' appreciate it we are hostile bitches and if we reciprocate with a smile we are either cockteases or welcoming further advances.

Or the guys who treat us like idiots because we are women? I recall one telling incident at the garage when I took my car in, guy at the counter talking to man in line in front of me has a normal conversation. Its my turn and he starts talking to me at the top of his voice. "Hello, I can hear you." He then proceeds to inform me that my mechanic is ripping me off (um, no. he's my dad's best friend) and refuses to listen to what I want done. When I insist i get the huffy woman tone "fine".

And then there were the flashers when I was 13. That was fun, Every pubescent girl likes to have men flashing their penises. It goes so far towards boosting our confidence. Then there was the peeping tom. I still keep my curtains tightly closed when I sleep. But, hey, I should enjoy the attention. right?

And shall we even go into the fact that in this day and age a woman still makes 79 cents for every dollar a man makes? Or that women of color make 68 cents? Or that even at the top corporate levels women CEO's still make 85% if what a male CEO makes?

Or how about the fact that 1/3 of all female murder victims in the US were murdered by an intimate partner? or that 600 women are raped or sexually assaulted every day in the US? On an international level WHO reports that up to 70% of women murder victims are killed by a partner? According to WHO one in 5 women will be a victim of rape or attempted rape at one point in her lifetime. 80% of refugees are women and children.

More than 135 million girls and women have undergone female genital mutilation and an additional 2 million girls and women are at risk each year (6,000 every day) (A, UN, 2002). 82 million girls who are now aged 10 to 17 will be married before their 18th birthday (UNFP).

There's more. Shall I continue? Would you like to hear about the fact that in the UK two women per week are murdered by partners?

or would you rather just sit there and talk about how sad your lives are, and how difficult it is for you that women are making strides towards being treated with the same respect and decency that you require?

Rant over

I was going to not post the following post after i wrote it. Was one of those posts where I ramble and then realise im rambling and dont know where to go with it. But..ill leave it as it stands, and instead apologise for the disjointed rambling.

I havent gotten into this thread much..im sorry..the title put me off. Im not really up for getting into a thread about men v's women. However, i did skim read..until i got to sbks post...which i read in full. Of course its only the tip of the iceberg even.

Ive often read comments on thaivisa about why would western women want to stay in Thailand. Well..part of that reason for me is being left in peace. Not that im some supermodel or extraordinarily divine specimen of female dome, but in other countries i often got more attention that i wanted. I enjoy pleasant company, i like engaging discussions, but i dont and never have enjoyed being hit on. Sure, compliments are always nice...but being quite shy, i never know how to handle them. I particularly feel very intimidated by aggressive come ons and comments. Going out felt like a catch 22.. I like to dress up..but if i dressed up guys would think im advertising myself (and that doesnt mean wearing skimpy clothes either)...if i didnt dress up..i didnt feel sexy. If you ignore a guy or nicely tell him you arent interested/have a boyfriend/just enjoying time with friends/etc, you are a stuck up bitch, but if you smile and are pleasant..you must be interested...then its hard to avoid them (sorry, but true).

It honestly seems to me that for some men women can do no right. We are also not all made of the same mold. We are individuals, just as you are. Our reactions to things are not all the same.

..oh nvm..i have no idea why im rambling on like this... basically im just a bit fed up of feeling like we are to blame (directly or indirectly) for everything that goes wrong in a mans life. (which it sometimes feels like!)

Yes SBK, I am sure all of us men are aware of those issues......does that detract from what we, the male posters in this thread actually experience?

Does female genital mutilation in Africa mean that I have to apologise to you?

Do redneck chauvanists catcalling and whistling at you mean that I have to be happy with the general attitude of women towards me personally just because I am the same gender as the whistlers?

Does the fact that I, and I am sure all of the men here, have never flashed a 13 year old girl not mitigate my own feelings towards western women in light of it being one excuse for your attitude?

And so on.

My feelings are valid. My experiences are real. When generalising about women in the way that I have, it is with considered opinion that the generalisation is warranted. Chauvinist whistlers and genital mutilators are not representative of any of the men that I know, yet I know they exist.

Generalisations should be based on a majority sampling.

You seem to take the worst examples of men's behaviour, whereas I have only offered what is a common perception. Big difference.

Hardcourt, i get what you mean (about unfair generalisations. However, i dont believe that was Sbk's point. Im just going on your post about generalisations)

I treat men as individuals..i treat people as individuals. I try not to make any presumptions and take everyone at face value. But, then you say you are basing generalisations about women on your experiences. But, by generalising women, even when based on your own experiences, isnt that doing exactly what you dont want women to do with you? Ive had some very negative experiences with some men, but of course very many positive ones. I try not to let the negative ones cloud my judgement.

Actually, women's attitudes are shaped by their experiences. As stated by my peeping tom episode.

If a woman doesn't respond to you in the way you like then perhaps you need to consider WHY she doesn't. Maybe she's shy, like eek. Maybe she's been assaulted, maybe she is having a bad day and just wants to be left alone.

As my mom always said when she saw someone acting badly, "I wonder what went wrong in his day?"

While I understand your grievances, I think that perhaps men remain so focused on themselves that they forget that there are valid reasons for women's behavior. Empathy goes a long way.

And no, I am not rude to men, even when I don't feel like chatting, and no, I don't think it should be spelled wimmin. And no, I don't think that all men are hitting on me when they are not.

But its nice to have men talk to my FACE. Its nice when, if I am having a bad day, someone treats me kindly instead of like a piece of meat.

Sure, you have your grievances and I am sorry if you have had trouble. But, that said, blaming women for your troubles is a bit like me saying all men are bad because i get whistled at and harassed. I am adult enough to realize that those men are who they are and that not all men are to blame.

It appears my question was as rhetorical as I thought it would be. No, you dont want to know what shapes a woman's life. You are more interested in the effect it has on you. Fair enough. But don't then bitch when you dont' like what you get. Cheers.

btw..i dont trust my posts today..my brain seems to be a bit scrambled. I was on antihistamines for a few days..i think im still a bit out of it!

Bugger!!! I just wrote a very reasonable post. My dam_n mouse has a button on the side which is a "back" button. Although I have learnt not to press it, I accidentally moved the mouse too far to the left, and that button pressed up against the keyboard. Click!

Bugger.

I can't be bothered writing it all again. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm glad I'm queer

I am not the only guy, at a time of deep melancholy over a woman, that has said, "Maybe I should just be gay".

'Maybe I should just be gay' You have no f*cking idea...

I do have a f'ing idea.

It was rhetoric. Get over yourself. Good for you, you're gay. I"m not and couldn't be if I wanted to. So what?

It was rhetoric.

SBK, I was flashed at when I was 13 too!! I have also had a peeping tom, but my dad soon sorted him out.

Strange.

All my life i have had the whistles, bum pinching etc. Now i am getting older I just let it go. I dress as i wish - whether in jeans and old sweatshirts or in mini skirts etc. I don't give a shit anymore how men look at me. I dress and look as I want and feel, not to please men (which, must admit, i did for a long time). As they say, at my age of 46, i now feel good in my own skin. It's taken a long time - but i have got there!!

Two of my best friends are male, they take me as i come, bad or good. We have seen each other through bad and good times. They are the only men i tolerate pinching my bum!! And i did have a sort of relationship with both of them years ago.

I am proud to be a woman.

But i am not a fat, hairy feminazi. I am a soft centered, cry at sad movies, animal loving feminazi.

By that, I am for women's rights in every way. Having been the recipient of domestic abuse I help women who are going through that, once a week, in a centre here in Geneva. At first it was difficult (lots of bad memories), but has made me stronger in myself - helping others, helps myself. I started off as one of the women who went there for advice and ended up being the one who listens. Alot of the women don't speak French so they needed an English speaker. It brings me a bit of joy to be able to help them.

So, men out there - we are people with hearts and feelings. We do not like to be treated as cooks, cleaners, baby making machines.

Get to know us, we don't bite. Much.

Everyone has had some sort of bad experience, male or female, with the opposite sex but what fuc_ks me off no end is how on this forum in particular, is the painting of all women with the same brush. You chose these women, you chose to be treated that way. Accept your part, accept some responsibility in your own bad choices & be adult & intelligent enough to understand that it was an individual who you came across, not a whole fuc_king gender.

I can't believe I even have to post this to grown adults who should know better. <deleted>