So let me get this right, we can only call a vagina, a vagina, theres no nick names allowed such as 'front bum' , camel toe & so forth?

So much for this being Secret Mens Business. Is there anything else you ladies would like to edit in here ?

how about re-naming it.

the PC secret mens business thread.

oh and dont forget to take your shoes off before you come in and wash your hands before you sit down in front of the keyboard.

So let me get this right, we can only call a vagina, a vagina, theres no nick names allowed such as 'front bum' , camel toe & so forth?

So much for this being Secret Mens Business. Is there anything else you ladies would like to edit in here ?

how about re-naming it.

the PC secret mens business thread.

oh and dont forget to take your shoes off before you come in and wash your hands before you sit down in front of the keyboard.

and make sure the toilet seat is down!

^u see the ultimately the front bottom controls everything (typically) as usual, all the time

Wakey, wakey. You have all had time to get over the long weekend, pretending to keep those around you happy while really just going thru the motions to keep the peace. You know who you are.

Time to report. What secret stuff have you been up to while not entertaining the better half. I did naff all but read and slept and scratched my arse, which was okay with her indoors anyway - she's bored of me after 23 years now. I am happy to report, though, that after the restfull break I am now gas free and vacuated but still full of it.

Wakey, wakey. You have all had time to get over the long weekend, pretending to keep those around you happy while really just going thru the motions to keep the peace. You know who you are.

Time to report. What secret stuff have you been up to while not entertaining the better half. I did naff all but read and slept and scratched my arse, which was okay with her indoors anyway - she's bored of me after 23 years now. I am happy to report, though, that after the restfull break I am now gas free and vacuated but still full of it.

I don't HAVE a better half so my time is pretty much my own. I went out to a wilderness park with my son and hiked and swam in lovely clear river below a bunch of water falls. It was a great day well spent just BSing father to son. Matthew has his own carpentry business and he's always busy. He also has a 4 year old daughter and that means we don't get as much time to hang out together like we once did.

Looking at those pictures of you and your son getting all that exercise in the wild outdoors tired me out. Is that water nut shrinkingly cold? It certainly looks it.

Looking at those pictures of you and your son getting all that exercise in the wild outdoors tired me out. Is that water nut shrinkingly cold? It certainly looks it.

Yah, part of the hiking was steep and good exercise...

And yes, the water WAS nut shrinking cool... about 59 degrees F or 15 degrees C. But, I'm a wiley old codger and brought along my shorty wet suit that I use on the west coast ocean waves. I was able to stay in longer than my son.

It was fun to swim with the fishies

Thirty-five going on 80

I have just read a story on BBC.co.uk about the modern midlife crisis being signified by a souped-up road bike instead of a sports car.

It reads: "Given the number of men aged 35-44 who are buying fancy-pants road-racing machines, is this a 21st century mid-life crisis?" Hang on! Thirty-five isn't middle aged.

Is it?

You could consider age groups in 30-year lots (0-30 = young; 30-60 = middle aged; 60-90 = old) but I reckon discounting childhood makes things seem a little easier to stomach (0-16 = child; 16-36 young; 36-66 = middle aged; 66-96 = old).

Any thoughts?

If one lives to a hundred then a mid-life crisis would occur at 50. But since the average life span of Westerners is around 80 (lets average it out) then a mid-life crisis would technically occur at 40. So, give or take a couple of years, a mid-life crisis between the ages of 35-44 makes sense.

If one lives to a hundred then a mid-life crisis would occur at 50. But since the average life span of Westerners is around 80 (lets average it out) then a mid-life crisis would technically occur at 40. So, give or take a couple of years, a mid-life crisis between the ages of 35-44 makes sense.

That makes sense....however, I think "mid-life crisis" is related to waning testosterone; He's got less of it, thus lower levels of strength, speed, libido....all the "manly" things, and he starts fretting over it and over-compensating.

Of course, waning testosterone levels will have a connection with age.....but 35?

I'll pose a question....do guys that were geeky and nerdy and "unmanly" (so called) suffer from midlife crisis? Is it only men that really feel the difference in their manliness?

I've probably phrased that wrong....no offence meant,....I'm all stuffed up with the flu at the moment and can't think straight, nor can I be bothered changing what I wrote to make more sense.

I suffered my midlife crisis at 5 years old. All that came after that has been the "rest of my life crisis".

I think the mid life crisis is when you realize that what you've got now is what you are ever likely to have. When you are young you still have lots of goals and aspirations. I don't think the mid life crisis starts until you are in your mid fourties and probably lasts into the early fifties. That is when I noticed many, formerly good marriages breaking up. It happened to a group of my wife's friends and my first ex went along for the ride. Our little group became a little Peyton Place and it kind of surprised me. The women started thinking they were losing their charm and good looks and began flirting with other men in our group of about 8 couples. Then, some of the men were too stupid to realize what was going on and succombed to the flirting. Within 2 years the whole group of us were divorced. My children were teenagers at the time and I tried desperately to explain to my son what was happening so he wouldn't hate his mother. Fortunately, I succeeded and I stuck around long enough so the kids could graduate out of highschool.

I leave you lot alone for a few days and you start talking about mid life crisis this and mid life crisis that. <deleted>.

Now back to the real business, you hear me?

I am concerned about how many shakes is considered to be a wank. Perhaps we could have a unofficial poll here, Ive always said more than three shakes is a wank, do i hear a 2 or a 4?

To help you along abit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HBBOGRaJ44&feature=search

Sorry ND, just not funny, nothing that KBW does is actually funny, if his humour does work on any level it isn't one that I have spent any time at.

Just crass, vulgar and rubbish.

Tend to agree. Used to find him hilariously funny about 30 years ago when we watched him live at the Majestic hotel sunday sessions in Perth.

His classics: "Hey Santa, Where's my F....n Bike" and "Living Next Door to Alan" were brilliant at the time.

However, I think he is way past his use-by date. This sort of humour is now very outdated.

A bit like Monty Python, unfortunately.

A bit like Monty Python, unfortunately.

<deleted>, MP don't date ..... sorry Pats, redded you for that.

I know they haven't really dated, but maybe because I know the sketches off by heart. They just seem a bit boring nowadays. Poo to you for redding me!!

Greened you for that ..... I'm all heart

A bit like Monty Python, unfortunately.

I'm not sure I agree with that Patsy, although I understand the comments about KBW, but some of the crap that goes on the idiot box these days is certainly no better.

Sorry ND, just not funny, nothing that KBW does is actually funny, if his humour does work on any level it isn't one that I have spent any time at.

Just crass, vulgar and rubbish.

I redded you for this then greened you for belting patsy about the monty python blurt

In regards to your KBW comment, I am surprised if you can't laugh at any of his stuff, albiet outdated, crass and vulgar.

I don't think us westerners can complain about terrible Thai television. One of the stations I subscribe to shows the old Three Stooges show on a regular basis. I didn't think that was funny when it first came out. In fact I think it was one of the most terrible TV programs of all time. I won't watch it, but have to put up with the commercials advertising it until I can grab the remote to change channels. And, they have regular programing of the Jerry Springer show. How anyone can think that program is funny is beyond my comprehension.

I don't think us westerners can complain about terrible Thai television. One of the stations I subscribe to shows the old Three Stooges show on a regular basis. I didn't think that was funny when it first came out. In fact I think it was one of the most terrible TV programs of all time. I won't watch it, but have to put up with the commercials advertising it until I can grab the remote to change channels. And, they have regular programing of the Jerry Springer show. How anyone can think that program is funny is beyond my comprehension.

What is Jerry springer? Do you mean Jerry Seinfield? im an dear with no eyes

I don't think us westerners can complain about terrible Thai television. One of the stations I subscribe to shows the old Three Stooges show on a regular basis. I didn't think that was funny when it first came out. In fact I think it was one of the most terrible TV programs of all time. I won't watch it, but have to put up with the commercials advertising it until I can grab the remote to change channels. And, they have regular programing of the Jerry Springer show. How anyone can think that program is funny is beyond my comprehension.

IMHO the Three Stooges were wonderful. Jerry Springer was not so great.

What is Jerry springer? Do you mean Jerry Seinfield? im an dear with no eyes

The Jerry Springer show is a live audience performance in the USA where jilted lovers air their dirty laundry on stage. Most often it's a 3 way love triangle where some fat broad is banging two ugly dudes, of which one is supposedly her husband. It is so ridiculous that I think some of it might be pre-staged. The audience participates to a certain degree by passing on their point of view. Very often there are mock fights and hair pulling. The few times I've watched the show I haven't seen one woman that I would allow in my bed, or even my home, and it certainly makes me appreciate living in Thailand.

I don't know a soul like those who appear on Jerry Springer so I think its a huge stretch to say that its the norm in the US and that is why Thailand is better.

Ohhh that show with the old guy where everyone calls out Jerry - YUK, can't stand it. AND I agree with you SBK, those sort of trailer trash people only represent a small portion of any community, problem is that they are allowed to breed and those proportions always seem to grow, but that applies everywhere around the world.

Ian seems to fail to recognise that and they could run similar shows from Thailand as well.

ANYWAY, this is turning into a suck hole thread I wanted to see secret mens business but it appears to be lost here, there hasnt even been any toilet humour or fart references for several hundred posts, No titty shots or revelations on how to go longer than 60 seconds. On the flip side, MR PENIS, the ultimate lover hasnt taken over either

Ohhh that show with the old guy where everyone calls out Jerry - YUK, can't stand it. AND I agree with you SBK, those sort of trailer trash people only represent a small portion of any community, problem is that they are allowed to breed and those proportions always seem to grow, but that applies everywhere around the world.

Ian seems to fail to recognise that and they could run similar shows from Thailand as well.

You've met my neighbors?