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No, No And Thrice No

Featured Replies

The other day whilst working on my computer ( now that is another story )I noticed a fly had been caught in a spiders web.

With all its thrashing around it had invited the inevitable spider to a veritable feast, however it put me in a dilemma:

What do I do?

Release the fly from its labyrinthine demise?

Leave the spider to its lunch?

Or sack the wife and bring in a newer model that can actually use a feather duster?

Your thoughts kind sirs

One of the guiding rules of conservation is to not meddle in the affairs of Mother Nature; The wildlife photographer must remain hidden, clicking away with his zoom lens while the hyenas, in gory rapture, tear the innards out of a cute little fawn.

But I don't see the quandry here; A fly? Surely the room would be better off without it...and destroyed organically with no nasty chemicals at that.

As to the future of the spider; Take a leaf out of Robert The Bruce's book and find inspiration in the spider's toil.

Therein too lies the answer to the poor feather duster performance; reverse psychology. Tell her to make sure she does NOT remove the web because you are studying the inspirational arachnid.

  • Author

One effort more, his seventh and last!--

The hero hailed the sign!--

And on the wished-for beam hung fast

That slender silken line!

Slight as it was, his spirit caught

The more than omen; for his thought

The lesson well could trace,

Which even "he who runs may read,"

That Perseverance gains its meed,

And Patience wins the race.

Bernard Barton

Blimey - I thought Frankie Howerd had risen from the grave :lol:

Post pictures of the spider, the fly and the wife. Let the readers decided. I'm leaning towards the spider.

I had a baby gecko on my computer the other day. He popped up from underneath and spent some time chasing my cursor around the screen. It must have resembled a moth.

He was'nt any longer than the Toshiba label on the machine and so new he was almost translucent.

He eventually gave up the chase and jumped from the computer onto me and spent some time running up and down my bare leg, which was probably quite interesting for both of us!

My lady brought in a collection of dead moskitoes for him to dine on (she likes to spend a pleasant 1/2 hour on the back patio, in the mornings, swatting them with the electric tennis racket).

However they were apparently not to his liking and he scuttled off under the tv where we discovered his dead, emanciated body a few days later.

Vale Gordon. :(

'And just how many times a week is your wife forced to clean under the TV Oh Salty one?

Anything under my TV has fossilised before discovery. :)

I'm guessing today is a slow news day.

Regards

Oooh Er Missus

Titter ye not!

As it's World Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Now then me fine darlin'

you not be a larfin' now, yarr

'And just how many times a week is your wife forced to clean under the TV Oh Salty one?

Anything under my TV has fossilised before discovery. :)

I'm guessing today is a slow news day.

Regards

Critters could live, breed and grow healthy from what they might find under my TV. :lol:

'And just how many times a week is your wife forced to clean under the TV Oh Salty one?

Anything under my TV has fossilised before discovery. :)

I'm guessing today is a slow news day.

Regards

Critters could live, breed and grow healthy from what they might find under my TV. :lol:

About every 3-4 days my lady wields a large whisk like broom with a cavernous pan and sweeps up everything that doesn't belong from the front gate to the rear garden wall. She then mops everything on the property that resembles a tile. This whole exercise takes her about an hour.

I am constently so amazed at her industry I have trouble lifting my feet as she approaches my chair during this task.

Under the tv is childs play for her.

She waited a couple of days to break the news of Gordon's demise to me as she thought I would be upset.

What ever happens a gun in these situations is over-kill. One, if you shoot the wife, who will cook ? Two, spiders difficult to hit and flies almost Impossible so you leave a tell-tale hole in the wall which will only encourage more infestation. It's a tricky one Moss, you'll need to think it through.

'And just how many times a week is your wife forced to clean under the TV Oh Salty one?

Anything under my TV has fossilised before discovery. :)

I'm guessing today is a slow news day.

Regards

Critters could live, breed and grow healthy from what they might find under my TV. :lol:

About every 3-4 days my lady wields a large whisk like broom with a cavernous pan and sweeps up everything that doesn't belong from the front gate to the rear garden wall. She then mops everything on the property that resembles a tile. This whole exercise takes her about an hour.

I am constently so amazed at her industry I have trouble lifting my feet as she approaches my chair during this task.

Under the tv is childs play for her.

She waited a couple of days to break the news of Gordon's demise to me as she thought I would be upset.

"Lunch is for wimps"

If I hadn't lived so long in Fiji, I would have known who Gordon was, and thus would have won $50 000 on a TV game show. As it was, I flunked the question and dropped right down to $5000. :(

"Lunch is for wimps"

If I hadn't lived so long in Fiji, I would have known who Gordon was, and thus would have won $50 000 on a TV game show. As it was, I flunked the question and dropped right down to $5000. :(

Thought everyone knew he was the miserable git who became British PM when Tony finally got bored with all the ass-kissing (him kissing Clinton's ass, then Bush's).

But maybe you're talking about our ex-PM's interest in Scottish dancing and the Gay Gordons?

All those fellas dancing around in skirts, hand on hip, other wrist held limply above head - aptly named dance to us Southerners.

Oooh Er Missus

Titter ye not!

As it's World Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Now then me fine darlin'

you not be a larfin' now, yarr

....and as Frankie said..........

Oooh noo, please, it’s wicked to mock the afflicted!

Well it might be one of your own!

Don’t laugh at her, she might want paying - I told her this was an audition!

She’s known to me as Madam Vera Roper, but she’s known to everyone else as The English Open!

"Lunch is for wimps"

If I hadn't lived so long in Fiji, I would have known who Gordon was, and thus would have won $50 000 on a TV game show. As it was, I flunked the question and dropped right down to $5000. :(

Thought everyone knew he was the miserable git who became British PM when Tony finally got bored with all the ass-kissing (him kissing Clinton's ass, then Bush's).

But maybe you're talking about our ex-PM's interest in Scottish dancing and the Gay Gordons?

All those fellas dancing around in skirts, hand on hip, other wrist held limply above head - aptly named dance to us Southerners.

Oh. I got it wrong then......I thought the gecko was named "Gordon"....as in Gordon Gecko, Wall St.

Oh. I got it wrong then......I thought the gecko was named "Gordon"....as in Gordon Gecko, Wall St.

No, you are correct - the others are only plastic imitations.

"Lunch is for wimps"

If I hadn't lived so long in Fiji, I would have known who Gordon was, and thus would have won $50 000 on a TV game show. As it was, I flunked the question and dropped right down to $5000. :(

Thought everyone knew he was the miserable git who became British PM when Tony finally got bored with all the ass-kissing (him kissing Clinton's ass, then Bush's).

But maybe you're talking about our ex-PM's interest in Scottish dancing and the Gay Gordons?

All those fellas dancing around in skirts, hand on hip, other wrist held limply above head - aptly named dance to us Southerners.

Surely not! Gordon got married - eventually.

Blimey - I thought Frankie Howerd had risen from the grave :lol:

It would be like the second coming

SC

'And just how many times a week is your wife forced to clean under the TV Oh Salty one?

Anything under my TV has fossilised before discovery. :)

I'm guessing today is a slow news day.

Regards

Critters could live, breed and grow healthy from what they might find under my TV. :lol:

About every 3-4 days my lady wields a large whisk like broom with a cavernous pan and sweeps up everything that doesn't belong from the front gate to the rear garden wall. She then mops everything on the property that resembles a tile. This whole exercise takes her about an hour.

I am constently so amazed at her industry I have trouble lifting my feet as she approaches my chair during this task.

Under the tv is childs play for her.

She waited a couple of days to break the news of Gordon's demise to me as she thought I would be upset.

"Lunch is for wimps"

If I hadn't lived so long in Fiji, I would have known who Gordon was, and thus would have won $50 000 on a TV game show. As it was, I flunked the question and dropped right down to $5000. :(

He's a moron.

She is dirt cheap

Jilted John, True Love Stories, 1978.

SC

Hmmmmmmm......

My telly is wall mounted.

No idea wehat lurks behind it...unsure.gif

Often see spiders bungying down the screen and swinging around.

Then they rappell - abseil back up........

("Dunno if that is correct for going up again.")

Then they rappell - abseil back up........

("Dunno if that is correct for going up again.")

"Climb" works.

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