Would you tell a friend of yours that his wife has a past history as a bargirl, since your other friend fined her and retold it some year later after they got married?

If the friend that fined her took her out many times, and often didn't have to pay?

If you found out this was actually done after the couple married, but before they moved back to Britain for a year [as she lived alone here for a while as the Visa was being sought]?

If she also recently hit on you during a night out, when the husband didn't come out?

If your declining answer 'that NN is my friend' is replied with 'but we will never tell him'?

If her two friends ask for your number - before knowing that you know the lady in question already - and try to chat you up like freelancing professionals?

If your GF confirm your suspicion based on what the other ladies talk about that they all are out looking for customers?

If you have a falling out with the guy and no longer go out together anymore?

If you know that he, on every business-trip and late night out alone check girls out from bars [and expense it on the company card]?

If you have forgiven him for the falling out, but remain somewhat estranged?

All very hypothetical...

Tough call.

Had something similar with my own brother. He went to work elsewhere and we discovered that his gf was sleeping around with all and sundrie. We (Mrs. Rakers and I) let him know.

To cut a long one short, Mrs. Rakers and I were made the villains for 'causing trouble'. He returned to her immediately upon arriving back in Thailand, I haven't seen him since he initially left.

And that was my brother......

Too many questions to answer them all. I personally know four guys who married my ex bar girl friends. I wish them all the best and don't mention anything. A couple were still seeing me while they were supposedly "dating" their new man prior to marriage. But, I wouldn't have anything to do with them after they were married. What the gals did with other guys I have no idea and won't poke my nose in other's business. There are too many "arrangements" that actually work for the couples in question. I just won't get involved myself.

If I actually knew a guy's girl friend was cheating on him I MIGHT let him know. It all depends on the person and how I think he might take the news. There is an old story that the husband is always the last to know.

Would you tell a friend of yours that his wife has a past history as a bargirl, since your other friend fined her and retold it some year later after they got married?

If the friend that fined her took her out many times, and often didn't have to pay?

As for the first quote, No, why should you, as for your friend who relayed tales of 'past glories', perhaps I would have a word with.

And the second, what exactly is the problem here?

If you found out this was actually done after the couple married, but before they moved back to Britain for a year [as she lived alone here for a while as the Visa was being sought]?

OK, that is a dilemma, but how sure are you to the veracity of the info?

If she also recently hit on you during a night out, when the husband didn't come out?

If your declining answer 'that NN is my friend' is replied with 'but we will never tell him'?

Yes I would tell him.

If your GF confirm your suspicion based on what the other ladies talk about that they all are out looking for customers?

If you have a falling out with the guy and no longer go out together anymore?

If you know that he, on every business-trip and late night out alone check girls out from bars [and expense it on the company card]?

If you have forgiven him for the falling out, but remain somewhat estranged?

All very hypothetical...

Falling out with the guy because of other circumstances should have no bearing on the matter, expenses are not your problem, unless they are yours of course and as for him and other girls, perhaps they have an open relationship, because if they haven't, this one ain't working.

For advice, once you get involved, there is every chance they will both blame you and they will carry on regardless and youu will have probably lost all friendship, are you worried probably not?

However would I tell him, as stated above, some of your paragraphs are none of your business, but once you become actively involved, passively or not, whether you like it or not, you are involved.

So yes, based on my resonses, I would tell him certain actions and others are not in my area of worries.

As the Beatles said............

"Let it Be".

Ya gunna make people miserable.

Your in the poo poo. No matter how it pans out, someone will blame you either way

Fact

You can take the girl out the bar but you cant take the bar out the girl

I have seen countless times wetern men going back home to work and there GF is back out on the game or ' Cashier ' at the bar ....

If you have a falling out with the guy and no longer go out together anymore?

If you know that he, on every business-trip and late night out alone check girls out from bars [and expense it on the company card]?

If you have forgiven him for the falling out, but remain somewhat estranged?

Well he's clearly no angel himself and if you no longer regard him as a close friend why do you care? If it's just for the sake of getting one up it'll all end in tears IMO.

A few months ago it would have been to get even. Now I am passed it and have no such feelings. Perhaps little saddened we no longer speak.

In my experience, in the main it's best not to get involved in these types of circumstances.

A few months ago it would have been to get even. Now I am passed it and have no such feelings. Perhaps little saddened we no longer speak.

So it wasn't "hypothetical" then

Is it ever?

So, to get this straight. Your friend screws around with prostitutes on a regular basis. His wife acts as one on a regular basis.

Seem perfectly suited to each other IMHO.

So, to get this straight. Your friend screws around with prostitutes on a regular basis. His wife acts as one on a regular basis.

Seem perfectly suited to each other IMHO.

Well, if there wasn't 2 kids (not his, but he basically love and provide for them like they where) in the picture...

The argument I had with my friend [that had taken his wife out on several occasions (before we knew him btw, so he didn't know she was infact married and about to fly to UK to like there for a year)] was if our friend knew of this or not.

I think it might be possible that he knows (he knows she gets paid to go out on expensive dinners at times and that she hustles money from guys online), but at the same time my feeling is just that if he knew that she was fairly active in (now) freelancing, woulds he still give her 50k per month? (To cover the bills and some over for her.)

His local salary is decent, but the amount of flak she gives him about wanting more [to cover her shoe-fetish, aka buy all the shoes that exist with price-tags of 5k and up, she has over 200 sofar) per month...just seems ungrateful or something he would not accept knowing that him giving her money isn't enough for her luxury consumption - we are not talking about sick buffalos here.

My feeling is that he knows half-way, as outlined above, and has closed his mind that she also continue the dinner-date to a hotel at times etc.

If I didn't know better..............

A drip feed of info,

Approx £1,000 per month ( that is extraordinary in the West ) so I hope the hypothetical person isn't in Thailand....( local salary )...

Some £100 shoes and a total of approx 200no

Either this hypothetical guy is a complete numpty or the hypothetical girl is Imelda Marcos

They live together in Thailand. His salary is local, but international company and he is a fairly high manager at a new offspring-department.

Why are we having to play guessing games?

I have just reread your post:

I had assumed £1000 was for her expenses, excluding bills, I had misread it, sthat part is not extraordinary, but unusual, I hope they have a big mortgage.

But all the same 200 shoes and some @ £100's.

Hypothetically speaking I hope he has some Rugby boots,

Cathes the high ball in the 22, calls for the mark and kicks for touch

So, to make it perfectly clear. He knows his wife is acting as a paid "date" for dinners with men. Considering he also visits prostitutes then he must know what this entails or he is a total idiot. Either way, sounds like a nest of snakes. its his problem, best to leave it that way.

Show him the "One Step Up" video by Springsteen. ( brought me round to what little sense I have left ).

Sorry TAWP, if it were anyone else I'd be screaming troll. Your friend is married to an active hooker and he knows it. keep out of it.

Sorry TAWP, if it were anyone else I'd be screaming troll. Your friend is married to an active hooker and he knows it. keep out of it.

The thing is, I am not convinced he knows. I'm more inclined to think he have tricked himself to not see it. Just from they way he talks about her.

Anyway, I guess I will stay out of telling him...and will decline his wife again and again if I ever see her outside again.

Sorry TAWP, if it were anyone else I'd be screaming troll.

A sidenote, but even thought I have only been here some 6 years I have seen things - by the virtue of being a fly on the wall - that most people here would think is bar-stories etc. Since they are not questions, but merely stories, I try to avoid writing about them here in the forum however - unless some anecdotes are baked into some answer to another poster.

Once one is on the other side of the looking-glass, one see and hear things...and most of it will make one very jaded...

Sorry TAWP, if it were anyone else I'd be screaming troll. Your friend is married to an active hooker and he knows it. keep out of it.

The thing is, I am not convinced he knows. I'm more inclined to think he have tricked himself to not see it. Just from they way he talks about her.

Anyway, I guess I will stay out of telling him...and will decline his wife again and again if I ever see her outside again.

But you said he knows she goes on paid dates with men. I mean really. Is he an idiot?

Sunday afternoon

I've always liked Freddie's bum. takes your mind off more serious things.

Sorry TAWP, if it were anyone else I'd be screaming troll. Your friend is married to an active hooker and he knows it. keep out of it.

The thing is, I am not convinced he knows. I'm more inclined to think he have tricked himself to not see it. Just from they way he talks about her.

Anyway, I guess I will stay out of telling him...and will decline his wife again and again if I ever see her outside again.

But you said he knows she goes on paid dates with men. I mean really. Is he an idiot?

To be fair, going on paid dates without sex exists a lot here, a lot of models do it. And it also happens in the US etc.

One thing doesn't mean the other.

Added to that fact that I meet them when she came from a dinner with some rich Japanese guy and we three (and some other friends) went out to club, where she spent a great deal of money. On that dinner-'date' it was clear that she did *not* do any more than that.

Id be more inclined next time she makes you an offer to tell her to back off otherwise you will tell her husband that she is offering herself around to all & sundry. she sounds like a dream wife. As for telling him, you already said you aren't close anymore, so why bother. Let him learn the hard way, if he is happy enough for her getting paid to dinner "date" other guys then maybe he just doesn't give that much of a crap about her anyway & the relationship suits what he is looking for out it?

Id be more inclined next time she makes you an offer to tell her to back off otherwise you will tell her husband that she is offering herself around to all & sundry. she sounds like a dream wife. As for telling him, you already said you aren't close anymore, so why bother. Let him learn the hard way,

I have decided to agree.

if he is happy enough for her getting paid to dinner "date" other guys then maybe he just doesn't give that much of a crap about her anyway & the relationship suits what he is looking for out it?

I understand why you would say that, but let me point out a side-notice:

I know of a lot of couples (Thai-Thai) where the girl work in 'massage' places and the boyfriend work in an office etc, and they both love each-other. I wouldn't say the profession excludes love and care, only that it helps paying the bills...

Well, yes but the guy isn't Thai is he? and tbh, there is NO WAY my Thai husband would allow me to go on "paid dates" with other men REGARDLESS of how broke we were. If he is that naive then nothing you say can help or if he's that blind nothing you can say will make him see or if he's that sleazy then he isn't worth the trouble.

Either way you slice it, its a whoooolllle lot of trouble for you that you do not need.

In defence of TAWP's posting, owing to proximity to the "industry" most of us are in (whether it be geographically or socially), every now and then such a story involving somebody we're associated with. And despite how obvious the advice might be to observers once the story has been spelt out, sometimes that bit of reassurance is what's required to help the person involved see the proverbial "wood for the trees" on what action to take, if any.

This to me is an absolute no-brainer, and as Boo and other people has said, I'd be very surprised if he wasn't aware of the full antics of his missus and is perhaps is using this knowledge as a form of warped justification for his own extra-curricular affairs. The circus will move on eventually.