Nothing In My Name!

[Rigger]

I suggest you that you should look for bangkokians (girlz of course) and try to avoid Isaan (no offence to anyone plz) coz most of these isaan girlz r after money. Again this is to be judged on case to case basis.

Wish u good luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your stating the bleedin obvious mate!

Of course they are after the punters money..

IMO you need to relocate...Get out of issan if your looking to get all luvved up with a low cost thai chick..You are fighting the odds staying there..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes there are alot of isaan girls that are just after money but if think that Bankok girls are any diffrent you are a moron

I see and hear from my wife what sly shits these Bangkok girls (Friends wives) get up too and it rangers from Thai boy friends to picking up a falang just for the fun of it. Drugs. No respect for any one. talking down to any one that is not dressed as well as they are. Wanting plastic surgery and getting it nose ass tits. Very phoney

I had some mate vist from Bangkok the secound word out of his wife mouth was how much does he give you every month

Another mate moved in with a school teacher in bangkok a week after she told him she wanted 20,000bht a month for him to stay wth her

If you are going to get involved with a TG you got to set out the some rules from the start or aleast have some under standing of Thailand. Meet the faimly( I lived with my wives family for 2 years before I even thought about building a house.

So I think it is you guys that havent got you heads scewed on right

Give me country girl any day over sly city one any day

Edited August 22, 2005 by Rigger

[Nickerelastic]

For goodness sake, enough is enough.

If you as a farang / falang / foreigner are loved up. Accept the customs of the country you are living in.

Stop moaning.

[pnustedt]

If you are going to get involved with a TG you got to set out the some rules from the start or aleast have some under standing of Thailand.

My wife has rules - "What's mine is mine, what's yours is ours". Come to think of it I've got nothing in my name either

[Sir Burr]

Why not put the house in her name, then, lease it off her for 30 years. This way, she gets some face, whilst you still control the property.

OP has pretty much made up his mind that he's going to give her the "heave-ho", just hasn't got the courage up to tell her yet.

Is her complaint regarding nothing in her name the reason that the split is happening? If it is, then the OP is at fault for not showing commitment.

If there is another reason, then the OP is quite right in not putting anything in her name.

[Thaipwriter]

more than a sniff of bs from the OP IMHO

Sold up in uk and moved here and bought a house, and not planned LT?!

You must have promised her something, why else would she have quit her job and moved in with you?? In Samui you say she worked in a restaurant, r u sure? she is a whore now in her village.

sounds like you are just bored of her and now looking for a way to get rid of her. she definately expected material gain (expecting something for her family would have chie among them) when she moved in with you, but as others have pointed out we only hear one side of the story.

happens alot on TV you hear only one side not the other.

i think you have used her more than she has used you so far. 

you're going to make a clean get away.. congratulations.

you say you are a real estate agent...

Mate, If you can smell bs i'd check in your shorts, you may have soiled them.

From my first visit to Thailand to living here was 5 months.

Never promised her anything other than a better life compared to freelancing whilst parading as a waitress.

The people in her village can think what they like, it has no bearing on me.

I provide a better life for her than she is likely to be given by a Thai man in KK.

If that makes her a whore then thats fine by me. The villagers are daft, they only see the world from a very narrow angle.

If she was expecting something when she moved in with me, then she should have said so. she could have gone back to the village or Samui at that point in time. like i said before, i never really had to pay for female company in the UK so i dont do it here. I dont care if people around me lose "face". Face is never working in my favour, whenever i experience a scenario where "face" is involved it normally puts me at a disadvantage and makes me feel used or cheated.

As for using her, Im not sure where you get than idea from, but if your idea of using someone is to get her a job, pay her an allowance, house her, feed her, clothe her and generally pander to her every need, then one of us must be wrong.

As for the clean getaway????? what does this mean, we are not married!! she is a girlfriend!!!! I have known her 7 months!!!! I dont owe her a penny. you almost insinuating that because she has had been having sex with during this time that i should all of a sudden put my house in her name!!!! you must be joking!!!!

congratulations for what???

[Thaipwriter]

Why would a girl born in rural Thailand know what cricket is? Why would rural villagers, most of whom have had 6 years schooling max, know who Adolf Hitler is?

Good question!

obviously reading newspapers is to find the ad for the good cell phone.

the internet is for begging for money from farangs.

television is for watching endless soap.

My point is why is it that so many uneducated girls demand so much?

why can they not be happy with just having a man who takes care of them??

Why to they sulk when they dont get the tabian baan??

[Thaipwriter]

You should either resign yourself to be a lifelong bachelor

In Thailand ?

[longway]

more than a sniff of bs from the OP IMHO

Sold up in uk and moved here and bought a house, and not planned LT?!

You must have promised her something, why else would she have quit her job and moved in with you?? In Samui you say she worked in a restaurant, r u sure? she is a whore now in her village.

sounds like you are just bored of her and now looking for a way to get rid of her. she definately expected material gain (expecting something for her family would have chie among them) when she moved in with you, but as others have pointed out we only hear one side of the story.

happens alot on TV you hear only one side not the other.

i think you have used her more than she has used you so far. 

you're going to make a clean get away.. congratulations.

you say you are a real estate agent...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mate, If you can smell bs i'd check in your shorts, you may have soiled them.

From my first visit to Thailand to living here was 5 months.

Never promised her anything other than a better life compared to freelancing whilst parading as a waitress.

The people in her village can think what they like, it has no bearing on me.

I provide a better life for her than she is likely to be given by a Thai man in KK.

If that makes her a whore then thats fine by me. The villagers are daft, they only see the world from a very narrow angle.

If she was expecting something when she moved in with me, then she should have said so. she could have gone back to the village or Samui at that point in time. like i said before, i never really had to pay for female company in the UK so i dont do it here. I dont care if people around me lose "face". Face is never working in my favour, whenever i experience a scenario where "face" is involved it normally puts me at a disadvantage and makes me feel used or cheated.

As for using her, Im not sure where you get than idea from, but if your idea of using someone is to get her a job, pay her an allowance, house her, feed her, clothe her and generally pander to her every need, then one of us must be wrong.

As for the clean getaway????? what does this mean, we are not married!! she is a girlfriend!!!! I have known her 7 months!!!! I dont owe her a penny. you almost insinuating that because she has had been having sex with during this time that i should all of a sudden put my house in her name!!!! you must be joking!!!!

congratulations for what???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

it just doesnt add up. from 1st visit to moving to thailand 5 months, because as you said u were in 'love' with the girl.

not just test the water but sell up lock stock and barrel. you must have been head over heels completely swept off your feet mad as a hatter in love.

but no cool instead as a cucumber come up service me for a few months while i settle in.

as for the rest of it, do what you want, think what you want, you just dont sound like you give a shit or ever did give a shit about her.

you had a housekeeper, cook and sex partner for B5000 amonth plus a mob phone and a necklace.

you admitted to lying in a previous thread why should i believe what you say in this thread.

as i say we only your word for all this.

[jackr]

For goodness sake, enough is enough.

If you as a farang / falang / foreigner are loved up. Accept the customs of the country you are living in.

Stop moaning.

Spot on! Just bend over and take one up the jacksy...this is Thailand after all.

It's not too hard to believe she's one of those 'gimme gimme, my family is everything and you are nothing' types that couldn't care less and want the lot, but you should really work on your not-caring-about-face-loss attitude because 'face' here is everything.

[Sir Burr]

Face is never working in my favour, whenever i experience a scenario where "face" is involved it normally puts me at a disadvantage and makes me feel used or cheated.

You've gotta admit, this statement is generally true.

[Guest endure]

Why would a girl born in rural Thailand know what cricket is? Why would rural villagers, most of whom have had 6 years schooling max, know who Adolf Hitler is?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good question!

obviously reading newspapers is to find the ad for the good cell phone.

the internet is for begging for money from farangs.

television is for watching endless soap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And my point is why would Thais be interested in cricket and Hitler? Was your last farang girlfriend interested in takraw? Did she know who Pibun Songkram was?

[Thaipwriter]

it just doesnt add up. from 1st visit to moving to thailand 5 months, because as you said u were in 'love' with the girl.

not just test the water but sell up lock stock and barrel. you must have been head over heels completely swept off your feet mad as a hatter in love.

but no cool instead as a cucumber come up service me for a few months while i settle in.

as for the rest of it, do what you want, think what you want, you just dont sound like you give a shit or ever did give a shit about her.

you had a housekeeper, cook and sex partner for B5000 amonth plus a mob phone and a necklace.

you admitted to lying in a previous thread why should i believe what you say in this thread.

as i say we only your word for all this.

Yep i was in love with the girl, i had made some money from developing old houses in th uk. I had just sold my last house and the property market hit a blip around the turn of the year and it went very slow. I did not buy another house....i came here instead. As a result of my work in England i am lucky enough to have no mortgage here.this was a big draw to thailand for me

I spent 6 weeks in decemeber / january looking at property in Samui and decided i could not afford to live there. When i came to KK to meet my girlfriend when i arrived in Thialand to stay on April 10th i looked at some houses here, i found one i loved and bought it that week.The MD of the company offered me a job doing the customer service for his English speaking customers and I i took it......it all happened very very quickly and i just went with it, it felt ok at the time and it feels ok now.

I have since started a business here

I my profession meet guys every day who arrive in KK with a new twenty something girlfriend who have sold everything in farangland and are exited about their new life, not many of them buy in GF's name though. Testing the water is not something i see to often, most of the older guys here are having the time of their lives,they dont give a toss about testing the water.

I dont want to get invloved in too much of a discussion with you, i dont have the free time, you seem to be filling in too many blanks with your own ideas and they are mostly wrong in this case.

She is not my housekeeper, I work from home, so i am here all day i take care of the house, i do the cleaning , laundry and mainataince. she has never cooked for me , we have no kitchen, no microwave, no kettle, nothing. we eat out at restraunts or street vendors or whatever.

So that just leaves the matter of sex, or as you call it "sex partner"

where i come i would never think of a girlfriend as a "sex partner" if there is a emotional connection between the 2 people in that relationship, then sex should be something that is shared for the enjoyment of both. it should not be used as an angle for financial gain and in your case it should not i beleive, be seen as a extension of prostitution. The way you say " you had a housekeeper etc etc"

is total boll0x and i think many others would agree with me on that point.

You dont seem happy with what i do for her, that is very much your problem.

I'm 36, i dont have a pension and i have limited and irregular income.

I carry the real burdens

All she has to worry about is whether her cell phone is cool enough or whether she should get a new one or not. I already provide random chunks of baht to her folks when they have a worthy requirement (once they asked me for 3000 baht to pay the police tea money because they had been caught playing cards....i gave them 1000 and said chock dee!) this happended on the second day i was in Thailand to stay. How was i supposed to feel?, what what i supposed to think?. My prospective in-laws asking for money to pay police off.

I still do "give a shit about her" most of my issues lie with the powerful voice in the village, i will not be intimidated by the narrow minded commentary that they provide on my lifestyle or cultural beliefs.

I am spreading my personal life on a website for advice. there has been some great advice on here.

Probably the most telling advice was that if i finish this relationship, the next one will present the same problems. This is making me think i should continue trying to polish my rough diamond. I realise that i have to compromise in the future, this will be a challenge for me.

[Thaipwriter]

For goodness sake, enough is enough.

If you as a farang / falang / foreigner are loved up. Accept the customs of the country you are living in.

Stop moaning.

Spot on! Just bend over and take one up the jacksy...this is Thailand after all.

OK, on that note I will stop posting and bite the pillow!

Can anyone lend me 1 million Baht????.........i gotta build a small house in Nam Phong!

[pnustedt]

Can anyone lend me 1 million Baht

Yes, no problem. 5%/month and my wife holds the deeds to ur hse TIT

[udon]

ungrateful bas+ard???

Yep.

Go back and read Boo's 1st post again.

Dump her, she giving you probs even before 12 months is up...... Geeez!

[longway]

Yep i was in love with the girl, i had made some money from developing old houses in th uk. I had just sold my last house and the property market hit a blip around the turn of the year and it went very slow. I did not buy another house....i came here instead. As a result of my work in England i am lucky enough to have no mortgage here.this was a big draw to thailand for me

I spent 6 weeks in decemeber / january looking at property in Samui and decided i could not afford to live there. When i came to KK to meet my girlfriend when i arrived in Thialand to stay on April 10th i looked at some houses here, i found one i loved and bought it that week.The MD of the company offered me a job doing the customer service for his English speaking customers and I i took it......it all happened very very quickly and i just went with it, it felt ok at the time and it feels ok now.

I have since started a business here

I my profession meet guys every day who arrive in KK with a new twenty something girlfriend who have sold everything in farangland and are exited about their new life, not many of them buy in GF's name though. Testing the water is not something i see to often, most of the older guys here are having the time of their lives,they dont give a toss about testing the water.

I dont want to get invloved in too much of a discussion with you, i dont have the free time, you seem to be filling in too many blanks with your own ideas and they are mostly wrong in this case.

She is not my housekeeper, I work from home, so i am here all day i take care of the house, i do the cleaning , laundry and mainataince. she has never cooked for me , we have no kitchen, no microwave, no kettle, nothing. we eat out at restraunts or street vendors or whatever.

So that just leaves the matter of sex, or as you call it "sex partner"

where i come i would never think of a girlfriend as a "sex partner" if there is a emotional connection between the 2 people in that relationship, then sex should be something that is shared for the enjoyment of both. it should not be used as an angle for financial gain and in your case it should not i beleive, be seen as a extension of prostitution. The way you say " you had a housekeeper etc etc"

is total boll0x and i think many others would agree with me on that point.

You dont seem happy with what i do for her, that is very much your problem.

I'm 36, i dont have a pension and i have limited and irregular income.

I carry the real burdens

All she has to worry about is whether her cell phone is cool enough or whether she should get a new one or not. I already provide random chunks of baht to her folks when they have a worthy requirement (once they asked me for 3000 baht to pay the police tea money because they had been caught playing cards....i gave them 1000 and said chock dee!) this happended on the second day i was in Thailand to stay. How was i supposed to feel?, what what i supposed to think?. My prospective in-laws asking for money to pay police off.

I still do "give a shit about her" most of my issues lie with the powerful voice in the village, i will not be intimidated by the narrow minded commentary that they provide on my lifestyle or cultural beliefs.

I am spreading my personal life on a website for advice. there has been some great advice on here.

Probably the most telling advice was that if i finish this relationship, the next one will present the same problems. This is making me think i should continue trying to polish my rough diamond. I realise that i have to compromise in the future, this will be a challenge for me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok I stand corrected. Your OP sounded like you gave up your job, house, car to give it a go with this girl. Sounded pretty mad. But TiT

The reason i talked about it terms of prostitution was becasue it sounded like prositution. So i guess that is telling in terms of the impression i got of your relationship.

I am splitting up with my GF she is a former BG, now she works as a traditional thai massuse in Brunei, she doent ask me for much except my attention. She has not asked me for any money for splitting up and refused when I offered her some, She works hard for mother and son, so I wanted to help out. I care for her but the spark is not there now. I have bought her gifts like a mobile phone and some jewellry, this is over 2 years of knowing her.

There are decent sorts out there, but security will always be important.

I think you mentioned your girl is young 20s so she is still a kid, so you have to take that into account, it may take a long time before she 'leaves' the village, and understands what she will gain for leaving it behind, if ever.

I apologise for being suspicious.

[Fast Eddie]

Probably the most telling advice was that if i finish this relationship, the next one will present the same problems. This is making me think i should continue trying to polish my rough diamond. I realise that i have to compromise in the future, this will be a challenge for me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is true that a lot of Thai women will look at you and think of the financial benefits being with you could have for them, but not all of them are so mercenary. It might mean a longer harder search for a partner, but if you are not happy with your current circumstances then you shouldn't just settle for it. You are still fairly young and can find someone who values you more. Not all Thai women are the same, and the next one may well not present the same problems. Maybe somebody a bit older and more mature may appreciate what you have to offer.

The reason i talked about it terms of prostitution was becasue it sounded like prositution. So i guess that is telling in terms of the impression i got of your relationship.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There seems to be an awful lot of Falang - Thai relationships that constitute borderline prostitution.

[robitusson]

Ditch her. You obviously already know she's using you. Just be grateful you found out in time.

[Bikkel]

I have the same problem: My GF is complaining about that too. Basically, my GF had her own job, she could keep all her money. I paid almost everything, mortgage, health insurance, the works.

I tought that if she made her own money, she would have self esteem, it would be good for her.

After 5 years she is still "man mee tang moet" (=broke). As it turned out her family used her as an ATM machine. I found out that she send a lot of money to her family and borrowed a lot to sisters, in-laws.

So I said to her if you borrow money from or to your family it is "jappajan" she would get the boot.

In my experience, for a thai it is family first, than Boedha, then money, than the country, Tai food, than the dog and maybe on the end comes the falang.

Think about yourself first, you should never be in a position of depence so that on one bad day you have to "vacate the premisses".

If she keeps complaining I would dump her while it is not to late.

[Nickerelastic]

we have no kitchen, no microwave, no kettle, nothing. we eat out at restraunts or street vendors or whatever.

Does that mean she has to wait for you to decide when she has a drink or a snack?

[Thaipwriter]

we have no kitchen, no microwave, no kettle, nothing. we eat out at restraunts or street vendors or whatever.

Does that mean she has to wait for you to decide when she has a drink or a snack?

read the thread! she has an income, 10,000 baht a month. which round here is about twice the average salary.

I got her a job in a restraunt via a business partner...she is practically running the place now...she gets half price food.

she does not have to wait for me to decide anything, she has independance and lots more confidence than when i first met her.

does this answer your question??

[Nickerelastic]

Yes thank you.

Why be so aggressive in your reply?

Did I hit a nerve?

[malcolminthemiddle]

Chances are she shall always be a drain on you both mentally and financially, typical of the pretty, uneducated, young ones from the "villages".

The question is, can you handle such a drain over the long term?

[udon]

Yes thank you.

Why be so aggressive in your reply?

Did I hit a nerve?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think if you had added a couple of smilies, your post would have not looked so sarcastic.

[SiamOne]

Yes thank you.

Why be so aggressive in your reply?

Did I hit a nerve?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think if you had added a couple of smilies, your post would have not looked so sarcastic.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

here you are, a couple free!!

[Simbo]

Here we go again

Thaipwriter,

you are going to get the ususal advice after a post like this - She's only after your money, kick her out etc. etc.

Now, we only know what you have told us.

We have no idea how old you two are or if she gave up working to be with you.

Do you both look at this as a lifelong relationship?

Look at this from her point of view. At the moment, she has nothing. If you stay together for 10 years and you decide to trade her in for a younger model, you will leave her with nothing. In ten years time, she will be older and it may not be too easy for her. She may well be thinking of the future and wants some security. The points made by Kayo re image will also come into play.

If you are serious about this relationship, then I suggest that you start thinking the same as you would if you were part of a couple in your own country.

If you have an income (pension, investments), then put by a % every month to buy a piece of land in her name. Maybe open a bank account in her name and save it there. It doesn't have to be a large sum of money, just what you can afford. If she is not happy with this then obviously listen to the alarm bells. If you are not happy to do this, then maybe you are not ready to commit to the relationship.

What ever you do, do NOT sign over what is already in your name. That is asking for trouble.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

After only 5 months ! come on. How long did it take to earn what he has?

[loong]

Here we go again

Thaipwriter,

you are going to get the ususal advice after a post like this - She's only after your money, kick her out etc. etc.

Now, we only know what you have told us.

We have no idea how old you two are or if she gave up working to be with you.

Do you both look at this as a lifelong relationship?

Look at this from her point of view. At the moment, she has nothing. If you stay together for 10 years and you decide to trade her in for a younger model, you will leave her with nothing. In ten years time, she will be older and it may not be too easy for her. She may well be thinking of the future and wants some security. The points made by Kayo re image will also come into play.

If you are serious about this relationship, then I suggest that you start thinking the same as you would if you were part of a couple in your own country.

If you have an income (pension, investments), then put by a % every month to buy a piece of land in her name. Maybe open a bank account in her name and save it there. It doesn't have to be a large sum of money, just what you can afford. If she is not happy with this then obviously listen to the alarm bells. If you are not happy to do this, then maybe you are not ready to commit to the relationship.

What ever you do, do NOT sign over what is already in your name. That is asking for trouble

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

After only 5 months ! come on. How long did it take to earn what he has?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Simbo,

Did you actually read my post?

Nowhere did I suggest that Thaipwriter sign over anything that he has worked for previously. In fact my last paragraph was

What ever you do, do NOT sign over what is already in your name. That is asking for trouble.

I believe that any man who buys a house out of his savings in his gf's name is a total fool. Maybe only after he has known a girl for longer and then ONLY if he is prepared to say goodbye to that cash.

I actually suggested that he allow her a percentage of his INCOME each month, so that she would be able to save towards buying some land. And if this was not acceptable to her, then listen to the alarm bells.

Thaipwriter did, in a subsequent post, state that he is giving her an allowance of 5000 Baht per month.

So what's the for?

Read the post properly please

Edited August 23, 2005 by loong

[Khun Larry]

Thaipwriter,

el commentaro:

If I read correctly, you have been in LOS for only 5 - 6 months. You bought a house which IMO is a permanent "investment" as you cannot sell it (who will buy?). If you can sell it do so ASAP. Undo some of the mistakes at a loss if necessary. Do not discuss with "her"

You are 36? Too young to retire. Too young to get married..... will lead to loosing the house when you get sick of her and her you.

The relationship is unstable as is she.... how about you?

Learn about Thais ...... Read Private Dancer, you sound like the main character.

Learn about Thai women ....... Read My name Lon, You like me

Pattaya, the beach resort without a beach

Take it or leave it ... lao tai khun

Chookdee ... yai yai

[Khun Larry]

read the thread! she has an income, 10,000 baht a month. which round here is about twice the average salary.

I got her a job in a restraunt via a business partner...she is practically running the place now...she gets half price food.

she does not have to wait for me to decide anything, she has independance and lots more confidence than when i first met her.

does this answer your question??

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

To the Farang, you have helped her immeasurably. To the Thai it is meaningless ... kii neao.

You have money too much, why I have to work??

In Thailand, a hand out is better than a job anusually pays better.

[a2396]

I think what you have to realise that when you are dealing with a Thai woman is

You can take the girl out of the village but you can not take the village out of the girl.

I have been happily married now for 17 years but in that time I have been floored several times with THAI VILLAGE THINK.

One was when we had been married for 5 or 6 years and we were on one of our visits to the village

In the night I awoke to find my wife crying, after the usual protracted convoluted questioning to find what the problem was I was told that the people in the village were making fun of her because she had been married a long time to a falang and still did not have a house there.

At this time my wife had not got the confidence that she now has.

So to make her happy and restore face I arranged to build a house and to be honest I liked the idea of not living in a hotel each time we went to the village.

I won’t go into all the prose and cons of house building   but I had great fun all the way through the process.

Now many years later my wife is much more confident and would no longer be influenced by the low life’s   in the village.

She does not realise how far she has come from that timid village girl that I first met 17 years ago to the way she is now.

The strange part is that I love OUR house [in her name] in the village, I think that it was a good decision to build it but my wife thinks it was a bit of a waste and she says that she would not want to do it again.

T.I.T.

Edd

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What do you mean OUR house? You know the property ownership laws restrict ownership to your wife ONLY. If she tells you to take a hike, she keeps the house and you get zero.