Money Grabbing Pregnant Girlfriend

[Jeff1]

Why does she have you over a barrel?

Just because she is demanding, you don't have to meekly go along with her.

A relationship is supposed to be a 2 way street - not a female dictatorship!

Explain that you can only afford so much and that she will have to live within your means. You can't get blood out of a stone!

You're right. She can take it or lump it. She doesn't realize how lucky she is being a woman from Isan without any education and to be getting money every month without having to work for it and twice as much as what most Thais get for slaving away 7 days a week, 30 days a month. I should give her a ###### good kick in the butt.

Ah , the Isaan card rears its ugly head , once again .

[RDN]

Troll

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

- gets my vote.

[snoophound]

Troll or no Troll its a common thread.

Their are many on this thread who are experiencing similar or have in the past.

Most thais will always overspend,paticularly if you make it easy and if they have other relatives on their gravy train.

How much you send is a very relevant question,tons of info on this on the forum.

Perhaps you can send weekly rather than monthly.

If she gets short and ends up on the borrowing treadmill things become very messy.

One good piece of advice if you can arrange it is to pay all her major outgoings yourself,like rent,power,etc then give her pocket money balance.

Troll

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

- gets my vote.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[sanook2me]

Being fleeced or not is part of the Thai experience.

At Don Muang I'm sure they have a something to declare channel on the way in marked 'common sense' as we all leave it there.

Pay her off simple as that. 50,000Baht should do it. A one off payment don't come back again once your drunken lazy brother has spent it all. Now go and &lt;deleted&gt; off!

That should do it.

[Gazza]

Okay, let's think about this from both possibililities.. (good-hearted and pure-bullshit)

Goodhearted: She's working at Tesco or big C or wherever..as you suggested..and you've knocked her up. She#s earning 6,000 B per month and living in a studio, and now she's supposed to cope with this. You didn't say YOU WERE LIVING there too, or maybe I missed a post. So..what the f$$$ do you think she's thinking about $$$???

who looks after junior or little missy while she slaves for her 150 bucks a month? ( by the way that's 5 or 6 dollars a day..)

women are the caregivers pal..she's right to worry..

Bullshit mode: She's had many farangs before, despite what she's told you, and many issan girls hope that by working in tesco/big C, etc, they can meet a foreign guy with 'big money' who will see them as 'not-hookers', cause the real hi-so big money (the thai-chinese) guys will never get sucked in by them no matter how pregnant they get..

That's about the size of it mate..could be either..I'd need to meet her first to get a better idea..if you reckon people are basically honest and decent, then it's probably the first.

thai-gene

"Hey man, that's my moll you're talkin' about." says Gazza, removing fingernail crud with his switchblade.

The following is what I posted about MY gf's position to give the OP an understanding of what some Thais earn.

sorry for any confusion.

Lenk, for what it's worth.

My gf is working as a cashier at a superstore in BKK. Gets 6k+ a month working 10-12 hour days, 6 days a week. She stays in an apt by herself which costs a little over 2k a month. She's supporting a daughter that is being taken care of by her grandparennts in Bang Saen.

She's never yet asked me for money. If she can manage her financial affairs then.......... 

Edited September 19, 2005 by Gazza

[SiamOne]

You're right. She can take it or lump it. She doesn't realize how lucky she is being a woman from Isan without any education and to be getting money every month without having to work for it and twice as much as what most Thais get for slaving away 7 days a week, 30 days a month. I should give her a ###### good kick in the butt.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ah , the Isaan card rears its ugly head , once again .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

oh yes, the Isaan card. Always blame something, now poor Isaan gets it.

I suppose that the majority of BGs do come from Isaan, one of the poorest regions, so most "punters" will have been exploited and ripped-off by an Isaan girl. Never mind, if you meet a girl who comes from somewhere else, at least you will know it is safe to give her all your money

[raro]

This one worked well for me: Let her make a budget! Family income on the table and then she has to budget the next six months and sign the paper. Afterwards, enter every Penny you spend into MS Money (with her together) and - at least in my case - she became the most kiniau person imaginable...at least until she ran away with a richer Farang...

[SiamOne]

This one worked well for me: Let her make a budget! Family income on the table and then she has to budget the next six months and sign the paper. Afterwards, enter every Penny you spend into MS Money (with her together) and - at least in my case - she became the most kiniau person imaginable...at least until she ran away with a richer Farang...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

don't blame her...MS Money indeed!!

[loong]

Is that Microsoft Money spreadsheet?

[raro]

This one worked well for me: Let her make a budget! Family income on the table and then she has to budget the next six months and sign the paper. Afterwards, enter every Penny you spend into MS Money (with her together) and - at least in my case - she became the most kiniau person imaginable...at least until she ran away with a richer Farang...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

don't blame her...MS Money indeed!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...in hindsight, it wasn't a big loss...

[raro]

Is that Microsoft Money spreadsheet?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yes...some sort of accounting software for home use...gives you drastic bar graphics on how much you spend on booze...

[Thaipwriter]

...in hindsight, it wasn't a big loss...

financial or emotional?

[ray23]

You're right. She can take it or lump it. She doesn't realize how lucky she is being a woman from Isan without any education and to be getting money every month without having to work for it and twice as much as what most Thais get for slaving away 7 days a week, 30 days a month. I should give her a ###### good kick in the butt.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ah , the Isaan card rears its ugly head , once again .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

oh yes, the Isaan card. Always blame something, now poor Isaan gets it.

I suppose that the majority of BGs do come from Isaan, one of the poorest regions, so most "punters" will have been exploited and ripped-off by an Isaan girl. Never mind, if you meet a girl who comes from somewhere else, at least you will know it is safe to give her all your money

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I love the Issan white hat syndrome you know save then from themselves. The majority of the girls here in Issan don't need saving they work and take care of themselves. Issan bar girls may start out naive but they don't stay that way long, if mother or sister hasn't expalined the facts of life to them, then the other bar girls do rapidly.

Bar girls really don't want the old hands around here, they want that new guy who wants to save them from the bars, thats where the money is. I'm not putting them down best little actresses in the world, definetly deserve academy awards.

If for one minute you don't think these ladies are smart, your in for a semseter in Water Buffalo University, thats only fair I had mine.

The tradgedy in this case is there may be a child involved, or may not be, time will tell. Is it his or not that is another chapter. Lets see you have unprotected sex with a girl and you wonder why you have problem. Hmm!!! which Semester is the in Water Buffalo University, I missed that one.

You know if you choose to roll the dice, you can win or you can lose. Win is great but it doesn't keep coming up winners, eventually you have to lose. So why cry now surely you must have known this when you stepped up to the table.

When it comes to the money, pay what is reasonable, that is in your control not hers it is your money. If there is a child and it is yours and this seems to have came from relationship beyond a one nighter in a bar. I could care less what you give the girl, but you darn sure owe your child be a man and pay up and be prepared to do that for a very long time.

Last thought , don't repeat this Semester

[bendix]

I guess I'm old-fashioned. My view is that if he got this girl pregnant, he has a duty to support her and the child. Instead, he paints a picture of him being exploited and taken for a ride.

If you want to come here and take advantage of the easy sex, then you better be mature enough to take the consequences.

[Dragonman]

I guess I'm old-fashioned.  My view is that if he got this girl pregnant, he has a duty to support her and the child.  Instead, he paints a picture of him being exploited and taken for a ride.

If you want to come here and take advantage of the easy sex, then you better be mature enough to take the consequences.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm with you bendix! Still don't know what he gives, but it will be far less than he would be forced to give if he "pleaded guilty to faulty rubber" in farangland

Also message for would be trolls." You make yourself look more like a troll by having to mention Isaan in any post, thus allowing in all the hard done by Isaan relationship experts"

[tripperj]

my gf whom i met in a bar, now works in factory and earns only about 5k a months, i send her all i can afford only anbout another 4k a month. Sometimes when i find out from her friends that she's having promlems i send what i can, but she gets cross and tells me she wants me to save my money so i can come see her. It was a year after we met before she would let me send her anything saying that if she takes my money then i think that is all she wants from me.

If i was you i would work out what you can afford and send this. Remember she is carring you child and when it is born you have a great reponsabilty to look after it and her, but don't be takin for a ride either. Work out how much it costs for her and your child to live comfortably and provide what they need. Also remember if she was working in a bar before you met her, chances our she is responsibal for looking after her family too.

Good luck man

[lenk]

thanks for your thoughts on this everyone but I'm still not quite sure what to do. what i'd like to do and what I'm capable of doing are two different things. read 'private dancer'...can't slot every Isan woman in the same category. I mean she can't squeeze blood out of a stone and I'm not rich by any means. she knows that. so, what's her agenda? surely not the 10,000 baht a month I'm giving her. what could the worst senario possibly be I wonder? I just think it's just going to be one ###### of a head spinner and that I need to get rid of her as all my friends have said to do a long time ago but how? 1. I'd feel like an absolute ar..hole for dumping her...especially now. 2. she could cause havoc like going to where I work and getting me the boot. 3. she could have me done in. paranoia plus going on here.

[Boo]

get a dna test & decide from there, before then it is pointless worrying about it. If the child is yours then you have a duty to the child & that includes the mother & if it isn't then.....

The idea about splitting the payments you make over 2 week periods is a good one, that way she is less likely to blow the money in on go.

[lenk]

I guess I'm old-fashioned.  My view is that if he got this girl pregnant, he has a duty to support her and the child.  Instead, he paints a picture of him being exploited and taken for a ride.

If you want to come here and take advantage of the easy sex, then you better be mature enough to take the consequences.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

mate, jumping the gun a bit there aren't you? firstly...I didn't say I was being exploited nor am I implying that I am. I simply want to know what the deal is here with these women. I just read 'Thailand Fever" and it's given me some insight regarding relationships and money. Please don't get me wrong..I like the idea of having a kid but I just don't want to be taken for a ride as many foreigners do when it comes to having relationships with bar girls. I know this woman has got an unreasonable appetite for money but that seems to be justified from what I've read in 'Thailand Fever". It may be the case that she's just doing what every Thai woman does and that's to have their lovers splurge money on them, their family and friends to show how much you love her. Who knows. I'm just doing my best to understand the situation and to save my neck should the whole thing be a fake.

[lenk]

I guess I'm old-fashioned.  My view is that if he got this girl pregnant, he has a duty to support her and the child.  Instead, he paints a picture of him being exploited and taken for a ride.

If you want to come here and take advantage of the easy sex, then you better be mature enough to take the consequences.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm with you bendix! Still don't know what he gives, but it will be far less than he would be forced to give if he "pleaded guilty to faulty rubber" in farangland

Also message for would be trolls." You make yourself look more like a troll by having to mention Isaan in any post, thus allowing in all the hard done by Isaan relationship experts"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well done..I guess you know it all and are one of those hardened ones who prey on the really desparate girls on sukumvit road at 5 ..6 in the morning for freebies just so they could brag about it to their mates the next day. thanks, but I'd appreciate some constructive advice here, not put downs.

[ray23]

I guess I'm old-fashioned.  My view is that if he got this girl pregnant, he has a duty to support her and the child.   Instead, he paints a picture of him being exploited and taken for a ride.

If you want to come here and take advantage of the easy sex, then you better be mature enough to take the consequences.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm with you bendix! Still don't know what he gives, but it will be far less than he would be forced to give if he "pleaded guilty to faulty rubber" in farangland

Also message for would be trolls." You make yourself look more like a troll by having to mention Isaan in any post, thus allowing in all the hard done by Isaan relationship experts"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Would be trools, I don't get it. If your only experience in Thailand is Issan based, then from where else can you draw your expierences. I wouldn't trade my Issan girl for anyone from any where else. But that doesn't mean that I haven't had negative experiences more so here then other places in the world I have been.

I didn't bring up the fact that the girls was from Issan the original poster did, along with as I recall the fact that she was being follish, because of her poor background. I still maintain that these girls her are in fact very smart and not foolish at all.

I would not trade my Issan life for any other place that I'm aware of, but that doesn't mean that everything is perfect it is not. There are good and bad about anyplace, Issan included.

Note I referred to the bar industry, not the Issan people, who represent the majority of my friends. The bar experiences I had before settling down was with Issan girls and I don't find them stupid at all, simple as that.

[Slim Chance]

Though not the problem presented here, this brings up an obvious question that I've been wondering about:

are fathers required by Thai law to provide child support?

In the states, if it’s your kid, you pay up or go to jail. A simple blood test determines who the papa is. The court determines a fair, supposedly, amount he is to pay.

Edited September 19, 2005 by Slim Chance

[britmaveric]

Though not the problem presented here, this brings up an obvious question that I've been wondering about:

are fathers required by Thai law to provide child support?

In the states, if it’s your kid, you pay up or go to jail. A simple blood test determines who the papa is. The court determines a fair, supposedly, amount he is to pay.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well with the number of Thai Ladies that are left to fend for themselves I would say no - thai lads do a runner then Som Nam Na.

[cdnvic]

They run scared from even the most minor accident, they're certainly not apt to stick around when a kid happens.

cv

Though not the problem presented here, this brings up an obvious question that I've been wondering about:

are fathers required by Thai law to provide child support?

In the states, if it’s your kid, you pay up or go to jail. A simple blood test determines who the papa is. The court determines a fair, supposedly, amount he is to pay.

Well with the number of Thai Ladies that are left to fend for themselves I would say no - thai lads do a runner then Som Nam Na.

[loong]

What I have been told - not read in any official documents............

If a married couple have a child and then divorce, the mother can claim child support under Thai law. If the father is a foreigner and fails to pay support and the authorities are notified, he would find it difficult to renew a visa or be allowed to enter the country with 30 day permission to stay without stumping up (plus commission?).

As I say, this is word of mouth so I cannot vouch for the legality.

[toyicebear]

Well...when i stayed in europe..a typical friday night out would cost me between 12 and 16.000 bath....

My point...this is the mother of your child...why not just scrap one night out a month to give her some comfort......

And yes i second the option of splitting the montly payments and use a bi-weekly one instead..even better split it in 4 and send her weekly payments....

[phuketsiam]

assuming you want to be responsible, then lets put it in perspective. Average salary in BKK is around 10K a month. so if a court awarded child support then 10K would seem like the high end, ie 10K a month is enough for now, if you can afford 10K, let her have it. Regarding budgeting, many Thai's have this problem, look at the supermarkets and dept stores around the end of the month as opposed to the last week before payday. many people advised you give the dosh bi-weekly or weekly, I agree, pay her weekly, even if she runs short, you can bung her a couple of hundred until next the payment is due, she'll get used to it.

Good luck

[mrbojangles]

What I have been told - not read in any official documents............

If a married couple have a child and then divorce, the mother can claim child support under Thai law. If the father is a foreigner and fails to pay support and the authorities are notified, he would find it difficult to renew a visa or be allowed to enter the country with 30 day permission to stay without stumping up (plus commission?).

As I say, this is word of mouth so I cannot vouch for the legality.

Not only that Loong. As far as i am aware, Thailand is now part of the treaty where they can track you down (Foreigners) and make you pay, even if you don't live in Thailand. There is a thread on TV about it but i can't find it.

[samran]

One word: CONDOMS!!!

learn to use them

[Boo]

can can almost hear the collectives sharp intakes of breath & brains working overtime to remeber when last they rode the stallion bareback Uh Oh, hope you chaps have all been wearing your jackets