Westerners Are Too Soft

[StreetCowboy]

I think some foreigners are too stupid and many are too love starved too make a rational decision.

Lack of self respect probably as well. Lack of setting boundaries for behaviour in a relationship.

Is that why they generalise?

SC

[krangeek]

It's a well known fact that many young Thai men follow the "love em and leave em" practise. They spread their seed everywhere with no concern for the consequences and very few young men wear condoms. Evidence of that are all the young Thai mothers with no husband and no means of support for their child. In North America, a woman can go after the father of her child for support. That is not the case in Thailand, and, that is the prime reason for all the prostitution. Thai authorities don't think it's their concern that Thai men take responsibility for leaving a trail of pregnant women behind.

I just can't agree with this.

Thai authorities believe a woman shouldn't choose to have a baby unless she is married.

This is a much more just system then the west, her body, her choice, her responsibility.

In the west some women deliberately choose to have babies rather than work for a living.

But if we are talking about bodily attributes.

Generally western men have much bigger, but softer parts, only good for 2 or 3 goes a night.

Thai men are very small but very hard and are off and on all night.

Also the woman who is advising me states, for sex, Thai ladies usually prefer the small and hard.

(I think of the mechanical process involved and tend to agree with her theory)

And you know this ... how exactly? Your nik tells us not only you are 'pussy whipped'. but quite likely in er, denial.

[krangeek]

I had the opportunity to teach a class of adult factory workers for many, many years. It was a male-dominated class, with a handful of ladies who worked in the office. I was invited to all the functions at the factory and over time to their homes. I got a chance to see real live families and how they worked.

As dressedingreen said, the sexes are segregated. For a long time I didn't know that some of the students had spouses in the same class. The men stayed together and the ladies stayed together. Interaction as a couple was nil.

One of the most striking thing I saw with this group was the immense love and concern these men had for their children. Most decisions were made with their kids in mind. They worked hard to try and send their children to the best school possible. They took them places (I was often invited along). They played with their children, their children were comfortable around them and overall, I have to say I was envious of the closeness they had with their kids. Family dynamics are different from Western culture, but no less intense. Certainly no less caring.

I just haven't seen the huge slice of terrible Thai men that are reported on this forum. I've looked, but I just haven't run into them.

Excellent post Credo. Neither have I witnessed the BS that passes for what I believe to be envy and assuaging of guilt from the average farang male here. They could in fact be anywhere, so long as the women were poor and black.

[StreetCowboy]

...

...

But if we are talking about bodily attributes.

Generally western men have much bigger, but softer parts, only good for 2 or 3 goes a night.

Thai men are very small but very hard and are off and on all night.

Also the woman who is advising me states, for sex, Thai ladies usually prefer the small and hard.

(I think of the mechanical process involved and tend to agree with her theory)

And you know this ... how exactly? Your nik tells us not only you are 'pussy whipped'. but quite likely in er, denial.

You know, the only thing that gives Sarah any credibility is the people that argue with him.

Perhaps you should read and re-read his post until you can work out the answer to your own question

SC

[RedFxTrade]

...

...

But if we are talking about bodily attributes.

Generally western men have much bigger, but softer parts, only good for 2 or 3 goes a night.

Thai men are very small but very hard and are off and on all night.

Also the woman who is advising me states, for sex, Thai ladies usually prefer the small and hard.

(I think of the mechanical process involved and tend to agree with her theory)

And you know this ... how exactly? Your nik tells us not only you are 'pussy whipped'. but quite likely in er, denial.

You know, the only thing that gives Sarah any credibility is the people that argue with him.

Perhaps you should read and re-read his post until you can work out the answer to your own question

SC

..."The women who is advising me states" That ll be it.

P.S Seriously looking into one of these package tours that specialise in the fledgling but growing industry of hair tourism. Have you personally used any of them yet yourself?

[StreetCowboy]

...

...

But if we are talking about bodily attributes.

Generally western men have much bigger, but softer parts, only good for 2 or 3 goes a night.

Thai men are very small but very hard and are off and on all night.

Also the woman who is advising me states, for sex, Thai ladies usually prefer the small and hard.

(I think of the mechanical process involved and tend to agree with her theory)

And you know this ... how exactly? Your nik tells us not only you are 'pussy whipped'. but quite likely in er, denial.

You know, the only thing that gives Sarah any credibility is the people that argue with him.

Perhaps you should read and re-read his post until you can work out the answer to your own question

SC

..."The women who is advising me states" That ll be it.

P.S Seriously looking into one of these package tours that specialise in the fledgling but growing industry of hair tourism. Have you personally used any of them yet yourself?

You are a nutter!

I suppose I should, while I still can.

I'm thinking of going to Dubai for a hair cut, as I promised the barber (I suppose, strictly, a barber) there that I would join him for a cup of coffee next time, but on that evening, I was on a tight schedule for a social engagement in the aptly named "The Pub". That was some years after the great Kilkenny drought of 2008, when there was nothing to drink bar stout and lager, on either side of the river.

Sadly, my BKK hairdresser was last reported as done a runner to Bahrain, though that was some years ago.

I struggle to think of my last really memorable hair-cutting excursion.

SC

[kerryk]

It's a well known fact that many young Thai men follow the "love em and leave em" practise. They spread their seed everywhere with no concern for the consequences and very few young men wear condoms. Evidence of that are all the young Thai mothers with no husband and no means of support for their child. In North America, a woman can go after the father of her child for support. That is not the case in Thailand, and, that is the prime reason for all the prostitution. Thai authorities don't think it's their concern that Thai men take responsibility for leaving a trail of pregnant women behind.

I just can't agree with this.

Thai authorities believe a woman shouldn't choose to have a baby unless she is married.

This is a much more just system then the west, her body, her choice, her responsibility.

In the west some women deliberately choose to have babies rather than work for a living.

But if we are talking about bodily attributes.

Generally western men have much bigger, but softer parts, only good for 2 or 3 goes a night.

Thai men are very small but very hard and are off and on all night.

Also the woman who is advising me states, for sex, Thai ladies usually prefer the small and hard.

(I think of the mechanical process involved and tend to agree with her theory)

Does this also apply to the 40 year old Thai guy who worked in the fields for 12 hours 6 days a week? See, cause the 40 year old Thai guy would probably have a 35 year old Thai wife. A lot of 35 year old Thai women have 60 year old Farang man who does nothing all day long. In comparing a middle aged Thai farmer who works very hard and has an impressive but tired body to a 60 year old Farang who has a soft but not tired body?

[richard_smith237]

I think some foreigners are too stupid and many are too love starved too make a rational decision.

Lack of self respect probably as well. Lack of setting boundaries for behaviour in a relationship.

Is that why they generalise?

SC

Time for a Thaivisa.com vote for Top 10 best one-liner 'you're an idiot' posts...

This one is up there....

[sarahsbloke]

Does this also apply to the 40 year old Thai guy who worked in the fields for 12 hours 6 days a week? See, cause the 40 year old Thai guy would probably have a 35 year old Thai wife. A lot of 35 year old Thai women have 60 year old Farang man who does nothing all day long. In comparing a middle aged Thai farmer who works very hard and has an impressive but tired body to a 60 year old Farang who has a soft but not tired body?

I don't believe the item in question uses a muscle.

It is powered by hydraulic pressure, in which case a smaller item would probably be easier to inflate.

PS

Most of the girls working in Thai establishments would be working with older Asian men, as the market is far larger and more lucrative.

My advisor almost exclusively worked with Asian men as this was the top end or the market and she is very pretty, white men generally pay poorly.

The girls only work with western men after they are too old to attract Asian customers.

Although the less desirable girls (dark skin Issan) can work with white men from a far earlier age.

[MrHammer]

Money has never and will never make any woman attracted to a man, however the things that usually come with having earned money, i.e. experience, confidence, power, social status and skills are very attractive to women. That's why the Donald Trumps of this world can attract young hot women while guys who win the lottery can only get golddiggers.

[RedFxTrade]

You are a nutter!

I suppose I should, while I still can.

I'm thinking of going to Dubai for a hair cut, as I promised the barber (I suppose, strictly, a barber) there that I would join him for a cup of coffee next time, but on that evening, I was on a tight schedule for a social engagement in the aptly named "The Pub". That was some years after the great Kilkenny drought of 2008, when there was nothing to drink bar stout and lager, on either side of the river.

Sadly, my BKK hairdresser was last reported as done a runner to Bahrain, though that was some years ago.

I struggle to think of my last really memorable hair-cutting excursion.

SC

...

Sorted, just off the phone there with a booking agent. I managed to use all my know how I have built up over time when dealing with travel and tour agents and have closed on a nice deal. They said they would also include a wet shave as well as the haircut as part of the deal...I pushed for a 30 minute foot massage also, but to no avail. I love Thailand...the cheap haircuts, the cheap bottled water, the cheap street food....but on balance I think overall it is the cheap haircuts that really swing it in favour of the place to be.

[trisailer]

The short answer is yes, western guys are softer because they are blinded by Thai charm. While they are blinded they feel safe because if they met this same charming woman in the west he probably WOULD be safe. The more experience that a western man has with women the better off he is, but he is still out of his element.

While we're turning our brain off, their turning their's on. They are continuously sizing us up. They making the "close" like a great salesman does.

During my single period here that I wished I could import a couple of dozen Thai women to the US to sell timeshares because they are excellent closers. A good closer is constantly closing.

It's not necessarily always for sinister reasons. Most of them just want a better life. It's up to us to learn what that means.

[nocturn]

To call someone, or a group of people, polite and well-mannered is scarcely derogatory, but it lets you draw your own derogatory inferences. Perhaps the moderators may have deleted too much when they were censoring your brain.

Maybe your brain is unmoderated - suddenly, panic spreads throughout the land!

SC

Are you being serious? Because if you are your post is rather daft.

CallumW was saying that western men were "more polite, considerate, better mannered and less selfish' compared to Thai men.

Is this not disparaging?

Do you know the definition of derogatory or did you just not read the post properly?

no, it is just stupid.

i encounter thai men on a daily basis while out with my daughter who are interested in my experience raising a child and sharing theirs.

As your next taxi driver on an 18 hour shift about his children and how hard he works to support his family. the problems arise when the fellow has more than one family due to youthful indiscretions predicated largely on poor education on contraception and a general lack of information period. next, ask him when he last saw them.

Thai men are not all dogs despite the hard luck story you were given, single mothers exist everywhere for a variety of reasons. Ironically the notion of a single father raising his child is actually frowned upon, especially if that child is female.

Are westerners too soft? no.

Is there a certain demographic of western men who visit the kingdom whare are far too stupid? yes.

[Thaddeus]

That's why the Donald Trumps of this world can attract young hot women while guys who win the lottery can only get golddiggers.

Having a dead gerbil super-glued to your head is a talking point and must attract females who are only in it for the discussion....... oh, and the wealth.

Therefore.....

Having money attracts gold diggers.

Having money and a dead mammal on your head attracts women with a sense of integrity.

Please.

[MrHammer]

The short answer is yes, western guys are softer because they are blinded by Thai charm. While they are blinded they feel safe because if they met this same charming woman in the west he probably WOULD be safe. The more experience that a western man has with women the better off he is, but he is still out of his element.

While we're turning our brain off, their turning their's on. They are continuously sizing us up. They making the "close" like a great salesman does.

During my single period here that I wished I could import a couple of dozen Thai women to the US to sell timeshares because they are excellent closers. A good closer is constantly closing.

It's not necessarily always for sinister reasons. Most of them just want a better life. It's up to us to learn what that means.

Good post.

[Bagwan]

Therefore the older farang men living in Thailand, if they acquire themselves a younger Thai wife or girlfriend will do anything to keep them appeased, happy and contented, because most of these types of old farang man falls in lust or love with young Thai woman relationships are based on finance and giving the woman status within her community. If the old farang man does not live up to her expectations then there is a chance that the women may stray off or become dissatisfied with the relationship. Hence the Western men gain a reputation as being soft.

I know of no man among my circle of friends who would stand for any of this mush. All my friends and associates recognise that they could find another companion in half an hour at most. Some will say that their relationships are/were primarily financial and when they thought that they were not getting value for their money then they moved the lady out. Others who were emotionally involved parted for the sensible reason that the relationship no longer worked and there is no sensible reason for two people to stay together in misery.

I am all for supporting ones children but not to the extent that women sit on their backsides for the rest of their days since they have a meal ticket. It takes two to make a baby and it seems logical and practical that two pick up the tab.

[canuckamuck]

Western men are at a bit of a disadvantage when they come here, at least initially. The rules of engagement are different between Thailand and the western world. Over there, western women usually have a much greater share of the balance of power in a relationship, and men have adapted to play a very politically correct role which attempts to fit the stereotypes of perfect men perpetrated by Hollywood and Cosmo... Basically they play a complicated role and expect low return on investment.

When these same men come over here and play by the same rules, the Thai women could see this as weakness or being too soft/easy. Western men have grown up believing they have to do the work to attract and keep the female, but here it is nearly the opposite.

Both are likely surprised at how easy the game has become. The Thai woman may think that she has much better skills in controlling the western man, and the western man likely thinks that he is suddenly much more attractive because of how quickly the female capitulated.

Finally, the issue is greatly complicated because of the disparity between income levels and the reality that money is a tremendous motivator.

[trisailer]

Western men are at a bit of a disadvantage when they come here, at least initially. The rules of engagement are different between Thailand and the western world. Over there, western women usually have a much greater share of the balance of power in a relationship, and men have adapted to play a very politically correct role which attempts to fit the stereotypes of perfect men perpetrated by Hollywood and Cosmo... Basically they play a complicated role and expect low return on investment.

When these same men come over here and play by the same rules, the Thai women could see this as weakness or being too soft/easy. Western men have grown up believing they have to do the work to attract and keep the female, but here it is nearly the opposite.

Both are likely surprised at how easy the game has become. The Thai woman may think that she has much better skills in controlling the western man, and the western man likely thinks that he is suddenly much more attractive because of how quickly the female capitulated.

Finally, the issue is greatly complicated because of the disparity between income levels and the reality that money is a tremendous motivator.

Excellent point. I would add that this "white night" phenomenon has it roots in a mans desire to save himself. Saving someone else is a vicarious attempt to save yourself. Whenever I get the urge to save someone I need to carefully examine what is going on with me. Most men have no idea why they feel such a powerful need to "save" these women. There is a huge difference between men who come here and have a strong core that allows them to retain their boundaries.

Getting a Thai woman is pretty easy is you have a little money and take a shower once and awhile. Keeping them is another matter. I have a young Thai wife who I adore. We had long conversations about what each of us wanted from the relationship BEFORE we committed. She wanted a better life, security for her grandparents and a degree. She is driven to be the perfect wife, student, employee just like I was at her age. It doesn't mean that our relationship is any less challenging, it's not. I frequently think that being married to a Thai woman (my wife) is like owning an tiger. If I didn't have a strong core there is no doubt that she would eat me alive. It's a challenge and I love it. She is strong willed, proud, intelligent and she is as comfortable turning on the charm as she is mentally tough to meet the difficult goals she's set. It demands that I be strong enough to lead this relationship.

I know a couple of guys who came here, ignored the warnings and fell in love with the first woman they met. Five years later they are struggling. Instead of working on developing their core there making defensive moves to protect themselves. That process requires that they withdraw emotionally from the relationship. Now what? This is Pattaya and it is only a matter of time before they will betray their commitment.

If we are "master of my fate and captain of my soul" we have a much better chance of producing a good outcome.

[Mirth]

I read in another thread that the poster believed many Thai women think westerners are (too) soft, compared (I guess) to Thai men. And that they (the Thai women) take advantage of this character trait.

How do others react to this? Do you think the premise is true? And if you believe it is, do you also think Thai women take advantage of it?

DIG

Yes, westerners are too soft cos they treat women here the same as they would back home but here in Asia, women wants to be treated a bit different.

In some instances, this trait is taken advantage of. At the moment, i know of 2 case happening already. The guys who are here longer know the differences already and they are more or less able to cope.

[dressedingreen]

If we are "master of my fate and captain of my soul" we have a much better chance of producing a good outcome.

In view of the gathering battle cries on this subject, perhaps it's pertinent to play that one in full ...

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud,

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

-- William Ernest Henley

DIG