They never fart in front of you when you first go out with them do they.

bkk madness, off topic here.. but your topic

Marital Farts

was just above another topic

Martial Arts...

Made me grin, I must admit.

bkk madness, off topic here.. but your topic

Marital Farts

was just above another topic

Martial Arts...

Made me grin, I must admit.

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Ermm, yeah Kayo, hence me starting it, a slight play on words in a moment of boredom.

Feeling sharp tonight are we mate?

Generals do.

It's one of the functions of Brass Bands.

What is it with you guys? My husband is the same. Women have bodily functions just like guys do.

Get over it!!!

What is it with you guys? My husband is the same. Women have bodily functions just like guys do.

Get over it!!!

cue chauvanistic joke

why don't women fart..?

they cannot keep thier mouths shut long enough to build up pressure.....

Women dont fart , but there is usually a small dog nearby that did .

What is it with you guys? My husband is the same. Women have bodily functions just like guys do.

Get over it!!!

Come on sbk, just like your husband should be able to control his sphincter, girls should too. It's just nicer that way.

They never fart in front of you when you first go out with them do they.

IMHO the vast majority of female parps are of the "silent but deadly" variety.

If you detect such activity on the first date you should delete her phone number, and seek another partner

They never fart in front of you when you first go out with them do they.

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IMHO the vast majority of female parps are of the "silent but deadly" variety.

If you detect such activity on the first date you should delete her phone number, and seek another partner

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Agreed.

I long for a bird who can neck a pint, let one rip and then yell out "CHECK ME OUT!"

Maybe at Eden...

They never fart in front of you when you first go out with them do they.

IMHO the vast majority of female parps are of the "silent but deadly" variety.

If you detect such activity on the first date you should delete her phone number, and seek another partner

Agreed.

I long for a bird who can neck a pint, let one rip and then yell out "CHECK ME OUT!"

Maybe at Eden...

There's one in Birmingham called Sharon, i nearly married her....PM me for her number

IMHO the vast majority of female parps are of the "silent but deadly" variety.

I concur with this statement. I would say about 50-60% of my farts are nose hair burning, where as 90-95% of my wifes farts actually melt any plastic objects within 20 yards, she finds it highly amusing when we are in bed lets out a sbv(silent but violent) then proceeds to waft it around the room, all the time i am trying in vain to cover my face with my pillow to stop premature asphixiation(spelling)

I even find her farts more offensive than some of the posters on here

They never fart in front of you when you first go out with them do they.

Do fanny farts count?

Girls don't do those things ! Ugh ! I prefer not to think about it.

We do have one girl (a Canadian) here though (in Afghanistan) who isn't shy about much of anything (she gets a kick out of running up to people and dry-humping their leg as a joke).

As you may assume, she's not your "delicate flower" type of girl.

she finds it highly amusing when we are in bed lets out a sbv(silent but violent) then proceeds to waft it around the room

Now then, I recognise this behaviour....i have spent many years perfecting the technique commonly referred to amongst my friends as the "Dutch Oven"

To cover ones sleeping partners head with the duvet whilst simultaneously releasing a silent gift......to go 50/50 and cook the other half.

It's an absolute pleasure to share this technique with the girl of your dreams, especially when you have consumed much spicy food and beer.

Please feel free to try this act, you will forever endear yourself to your lady

What is it with you guys? My husband is the same. Women have bodily functions just like guys do.

Get over it!!!

Come on sbk, just like your husband should be able to control his sphincter, girls should too. It's just nicer that way.

Since when do guys feel the need to control their farts? Never seen one

What is it with you guys? My husband is the same. Women have bodily functions just like guys do.

Get over it!!!

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Come on sbk, just like your husband should be able to control his sphincter, girls should too. It's just nicer that way.

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Since when do guys feel the need to control their farts? Never seen one

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If I look really close, I'm sure I can see my wifes! Enough methane in her SBV to run a small power station.

A fan is a man's best friend in delivery of high speed farts to the gfs general direction.

Since when do guys feel the need to control their farts? Never seen one

Mike Read, the ex Eastenders and Cockney comedien, recently stated in an interview that he had never farted in front of a woman in his life.

Fart is ok..no need to give a piece of GOLD as souvenir

Since when do guys feel the need to control their farts? Never seen one

Mike Read, the ex Eastenders and Cockney comedien, recently stated in an interview that he had never farted in front of a woman in his life.

That's a sign of being a gentleman. Never fart in front of a woman......let the woman rip one off first.

Fart is ok..no need to give  a piece of  GOLD as souvenir

that should read nugget , bambina - its known as following through...

Fart is ok..no need to give  a piece of  GOLD as souvenir

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that should read nugget , bambina - its known as following through...

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Can also be referred to as a brown Budgie...

Fart is ok..no need to give  a piece of  GOLD as souvenir

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that should read nugget , bambina - its known as following through...

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Can also be referred to as a brown Budgie...

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The turtle head.

Fart is ok..no need to give  a piece of  GOLD as souvenir

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that should read nugget , bambina - its known as following through...

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Can also be referred to as a brown Budgie...

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The turtle head.

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im faint

A "Rosebud"

(according to "Fat Bastard" from Austin Powers fame, in reference to those little bud shaped chocolate candies)

Gotta watch for the wet ones though, sometimes you just never know.......

A "Rosebud"

(according to "Fat Bastard" from Austin Powers fame, in reference to those little bud shaped chocolate candies)

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Can also be called a rino horn.....

touching cloth

touching cloth

What you really have to worry about is not the turtle head touching cloth which indeed is bad in itself, no you really need to worry when the turtle head touches sock, because then you know it is too late to save your dignity

touching cloth

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What you really have to worry about is not the turtle head touching cloth which indeed is bad in itself, no you really need to worry when the turtle head touches sock, because then you know it is too late to save your dignity

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I think you are talking about the "gravy train" Happend to a mate of mine in his white trou on the golf course.After a big night on the turps and a 7AM next day start, he wasn't feeling too great.To cut a long story short, on the ninth he chipped in from a bunker...the proceeding jump in the air and cry of "yippeeeee" resulted in the "gravy train" effect......