Doctor...

[Longsands]

Mrs Jones goes to the doctor's...

What's the problem, Mrs Jones?

Well doctor, I've been having problems with my aviaries...

Your what?

My aviaries, doctor.

Oh Mrs Jones you mean your OVARIES...

No DOCTOR! I mean my AVIARIES.

Listen Mrs Jones. I've been a doctor for 30 years and I'm telling you, you DON'T have aviaries, you have ovaries...

YOU LISTEN TO ME DOCTOR! It IS my aviaries.

OK OK, get undressed, sit in the chair, and put your legs in the stirrups, and let me have a look.....JESUS CHRIST Mrs Jones, you are right, you do have problems with your aviaries. You've had a cock or two up here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kan Win]

Doctors ?

Four doctors, a Brit, a German, a Russian and an American, were all bragging about the progress their profession has made in their respective countries.

The British doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."

The German brags, "That's nothing; we can take a lung out of one person put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."

Then Russian doctor boasts, "In my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person put it in another - and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

The American doctor informs them matter-of-factly, "You know, I think you guys are way behind us.

We just took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House - and now half the country is looking for work, and the other half preparing for war!"