I just can't thank you all enough really, you have given me some great advice and I do really appriciate this

I'm really sorry to hear that - when I first read your message I thought the text might be cut and paste from somewhere, but then I realized you were actually talking about your own life...

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Same here. It's because she writes so danm well.

Quite moving, wasn't it?

I'm really sorry to hear that - when I first read your message I thought the text might be cut and paste from somewhere, but then I realized you were actually talking about your own life...

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Same here. It's because she writes so danm well.

Quite moving, wasn't it?

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Thanks

I'd had a few drinks and it really came from my heart.

Ice...

I'm really sorry to hear about your news.. my best wishes are with you and your family at this time..

It's also nice to see so many supportive posts from everyone here... it's nice..

I can't really add anything new, as so much good advice has already been posted..

take care

totster

Well I'm going to Bangkok now for more tests and that kind of thing.

Hopefully we can get some better advice and know some more information etc

Ice...

I'm really sorry to hear about your news.. my best wishes are with you and your family at this time..

It's also nice to see so many supportive posts from everyone here... it's nice.. 

I can't really add anything new, as so much good advice has already been posted..

take care

totster 

Same here.

Please add my best wishes and support as well Icey.

Good luck in BKK today.

And don't forget... I'm local to you too... so if you want a shoulder or a chat or a phone call or anything... just PM me.

Hey Ice....

Really sorry to hear the news. I hope your Dad and step-mum can pull through to work this one out. As people have mentioned, you can still live a normal, long life with HIV+.

Your father must be really proud he's got a daughter as mature and strong as you are. I'm sure you'll all work this one through together.

Best wishes.

Very sorry to hear your terrible news.

I have a friend who has had HIV for 16 years. He is very strong still.

Life, as someone said throws curved balls at us, it how we react that is imoportant.

When I use trouble as my teacher, I develop the art of living. I am taking a spiritual approach, using my higher power as my guide. I can choose today to use my difficulties for my learning and growth. I might ask myself, "what can I learn from this experience about myself as a man? How can I use this to strengthen myself for the future?" Serenity develops, not by eliminating life's difficulties, but by having a reliable relationship with my "Higher Power" in the midst of it all.

One day at a time you will be able to cope with this. Be strong and be there to support them.

I'm still stunned by this news 24 hours in.

Like Sweetball I thought the Original Post was a feel-good philosophical muse, then halfway-down KABOOM !

If i'd been here longer I would have escorted them all to Bumrungrad or Wetthani Hospital here, but i'm literally packing my bags to leave this weekend.

One tends to assume that one's own inconsequential gripes are a nuisance, till one hears that something catastrophic has befallen someone else.

My thoughts echo everyone's on here Icey. A couple thing's are certain and absolutely (!) on your side, as well as your Dad and his lady-

From what I've read (some of it from members experiences) modern meds are for sure ensuring longer and fuller lives. Also, it was pretty obvious from early on, you're a remarkable, intelligent and caring person. This will help get you through and you've got a whole extended family here to lean on as back up. Try to keep a chin up but when it gets a bit much, lean away!

Good luck in Bkk today. BTW, I live beside Bumrungrad and if you need someone in to liase or assist in any way in the future, just pm.

Best wishes to you and your family. I hope you will all find a way to get through this hard time.

Remember, the rose has died because we picked it, but without picking it we could've never taken it with us.

Best wishes from here too IM.

As mentioned HIV is no longer a death penalty and treatment can bring it too a non-detectable level these days with a full life following it.

Just PM should I be able to help in any way w. me living in BKK.

Don't know what to say really. Many people give good advice but in the end you have to deal with it in your own way so I wish you good luck.

Very sorry to hear this news IM. My thoughts and best wishes with you and family.

Well just got back from the hospital. And it was Bumrungrad we went to.

My Step-mum was the main concern today, unfortunatley she has meningitis. But hopefully the operation will be a success. The doctor reassured us all today that it should be fine and will take two weeks.

After that she should live a year at the least. It is pretty strange talking about time limits on peoples lives. The doctor said he can't say for certain but he personally thinks 10 years for her possibly more. But he has to say a year, he can't give us false hopes.

There is no way in saying this but my Dad and her have HIV for sure after more tests. My Step-mum is a bit further on but luckly (about my Dad) he has been diagnosed early on.

As soon as I heard the news about my Step-mum I was happy because it should be a success and I've been filled with hope from everyone I cried with happyness really

But I can't really give myself false hopes.

Can you please get in touch with Scouser at this point, because I believe he knows a lot about taking a loved-one with HIV to the UK, and he may have missed this topic. He would be a goldmine of information.

I mentioned this to 'Butterfly' tonight at my leaving-do and he was really upset for you.

Icey, I'd really like to give you a big hug right now. As others have said people with HIV can live long and productive lives.

The replies on this thread are really helping me, thankyou again.

Well last night we took my stepmum out for some food and she seemed great like she was getting better. We all went to sleep but I got woken by my Dad, my steepmum had collapsed and was really ill.

We took her to the hospital in Bangkok and saw the same doctor, he asked of we wanted to know the truth, we both said yes. He told us she has three months left and all we can do right now is make her feel comfortable.

It was upsetting for us, really upsetting but her request was to be nearer her family in Pattaya, we took her to Bangkok Pattaya hospital last night and stayed with her all night. My Dad kept telling me he was next and I kept trying to tell him he wasn't, it was hard.

She kept telling me she knew she was dying. I felt really bad and didn't know what to say but reassure her it would be okay.

For the past few days since this has happened I've been getting blinding headaches and being sick so my Dad thought I should see a doctor. The doctor thought I had some form of meningitas like my stepmum and checked me out with some blood tests.

At the same time I was tested for HIV so was my brother. We both don't have it and I'm okay. It's just stress, the doc said I'm thinking too much and I need to start relaxing and take a night away from the hospital, been given some meds aswell so I don't think a lot and some sleeping pills.

Slept most the day and those pills really did relax me and stopped me from thinking. Feel guilty though about not being with them tonight but I will tomorrow.

......

She kept telling me she knew she was dying. I felt really bad and didn't know what to say but reassure her it would be okay.

.......

Slept most the day and those pills really did relax me and stopped me from thinking. Feel guilty though about not being with them tonight but I will tomorrow.

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Gosh, I don't know what to say. Your thread is so very touching. I'm happy to hear that you and your brother are okay.

Please though, be careful for yourself. You mentioned taking your dad our for some drinks, and also getting some medication from the doctor to help you sleep. Please be careful for yourself to not do one if you've done the other.

I've never had to take anyone through hospice care, so I can't imagine how tough that must be, or how to advise anyone with it. All I can think of is help keep her comfortable, and to help her remember positive things when you can.

Try to think of everything in your lives that has been a positive. Find your pictures. Think of pleasant memories, anything that can bring a smile or a laugh. Share them again with her. Make sure that she remembers and believes that her life has had and still has value to everyone.

Possibly everyone she knows may not be able to come and visit with her. But maybe they could write a note, send it to you, and you can read them to her. Maybe the best thing is to try and not dwell on anything for too long. Try to keep yourself busy, although I know that's hard.

Stay strong for your dad and stepmum. Stay strong for your brother. Stay strong for yourself. Through your messages in this thread, you've shown that you have the courage to be strong and help lead your family through. I hope this inner strength and courage stays with you. Good luck and best wishes.

Ice Maiden,

I don't see how the doctor can state with such accuracy that your step-mother has 3 months to live whilst apparently not treating her condition. Was the doctor you saw an HIV specialist? If not, I'd get one to see your step-mother quickly. It is possible (no matter how slight) that proper treatment now could be effective in fighting off opportunistic infections and reinforcing your step-mother's immune system.

I can't reinforce strongly enough that it is an HIV specialist which your step-mother (and father) should see. They will know how to effectively treat the condition rather than offering some meaningless statement that all that can be done is to make the patient comfortable. In my experience too many Thai doctors can't wait to shake you down for the bill and get you out through the hospital door, once they know you're HIV positive.

Scouse.

I understand about that Spee, I've already been warned about drinking with my medication. My cousin is staying with me now and he has taken my tablets for his peace of mind incase I get addicited or anything and he is giving me them at the right times too.

I have been making her smile every now and then, telling her some funny memories we have had, that kind of thing. Her whole family visited her today and she felt lots better and even ate some food which is good.

I feel a bit strange right now like my feelings have been put in a box somewhere but thats the meds.

I'm not a Doc but how can the Pattaya medics be so sure? Its not the Aids that kills a patient - its a related infection or illness. Perhaps her T Cell count is bad, but the anti-retrovirals should help rapidly if administered. I think you need to get her to a more pro-active facility.

Ice Maiden,

I don't see how the doctor can state with such accuracy that your step-mother has 3 months to live whilst apparently not treating her condition. Was the doctor you saw an HIV specialist? If not, I'd get one to see your step-mother quickly. It is possible (no matter how slight) that proper treatment now could be effective in fighting off opportunistic infections and reinforcing your step-mother's immune system.

I can't reinforce strongly enough that it is an HIV specialist which your step-mother (and father) should see. They will know how to effectively treat the condition rather than offering some meaningless statement that all that can be done is to make the patient comfortable. In my experience too many Thai doctors can't wait to shake you down for the bill and get you out through the hospital door, once they know you're HIV positive.

Scouse.

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It was a HIV specialist that she saw in Bangkok but the doctor she is seeing in Pattaya I'm not sure about.

I don't like the Pattaya hospital to be honest. The nurses took ages getting the results from previous testing faxed to their hospital from Pattaya and didn't do it until I stressed out at them.

They even had the cheek to come and tell my stepmum "Nevermind we will get the results later"

Nevermind! They don't understand anything. I shouldn't of really but I flipped out at the nurses, at least it got something done.

She was given some antibiotics earlier and some other tablets that I'm not sure about. But I think that may of been for her immune system, I'm not sure.

My concern is the amount of blood samples they keep taking from her because that really can't be making her feel any better.

Edit - It's the meningitas that seems to be the main problem. According to testing it is pretty serious now and thats what the doctors are worried about. Tomorrow they are going to drain some fluid from her by putting something in her back I'm sorry I don't know any medical terms.

I think you're being given the runaround.

The hospital don't sound like they're giving anti-retrovirals or any complex (expensive) meds. Just treating the current problem and sending her home.

Ice Maiden,

The blood samples are a necessary ordeal, unfortunately. Right, I'm no doctor, but it sounds vaguely promising that your step-mother's at least being given antibiotics (presumably for the meningitis). I would hope, too, that they've started her on a course of anti-retrovirals. It may be too late for them to be effective, but, likewise, it's not a foregone conclusion.

Scouse.

I think you're being given the runaround.

The hospital don't sound like they're giving anti-retrovirals or any complex (expensive) meds. Just treating the current problem and sending her home.

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Thats what my Dad was getting angry about before. We want her in Bumrangad hospital for better treatment but all my Stepmum wants right now is to be somewhere close to her family. We can't really argue with that.

We are getting annoyed about the healthcare in Pattaya but my stepmum just seems to be going with the "Mai bpen rai" about the doctors and nurses.

Me and my Dad seem to be running around getting the nurses to come and see her.

I feel a bit strange right now like my feelings have been put in a box somewhere but thats the meds.

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Sorry, didn't mean to lecture before. You are going through enough as it is.

Don't worry about how you feel. From your writing, everything you've been feeling is natural. There is no easy way other than to keep on keeping on.

Continued best wishes!

I think you're being given the runaround.

The hospital don't sound like they're giving anti-retrovirals or any complex (expensive) meds. Just treating the current problem and sending her home.

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Thats what my Dad was getting angry about before. We want her in Bumrangad hospital for better treatment but all my Stepmum wants right now is to be somewhere close to her family. We can't really argue with that.

We are getting annoyed about the healthcare in Pattaya but my stepmum just seems to be going with the "Mai bpen rai" about the doctors and nurses.

Me and my Dad seem to be running around getting the nurses to come and see her.

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Sorry for being rude, but the attitude of your stepmum is typical Thai...everything the doc says is gospel etc...i'll just go home and die etc.Well &lt;deleted&gt; them. i treat Doctors like plumbers...they are not God and can be changed with a flick of the wrist.Half the Thai Doctors that I have had anything to do with have been &lt;deleted&gt;.

Give you stepmum a rocket up the jacksie...life is too short for the mai pen rai crap.

Ice Maiden,

The blood samples are a necessary ordeal, unfortunately. Right, I'm no doctor, but it sounds vaguely promising that your step-mother's at least being given antibiotics (presumably for the meningitis). I would hope, too, that they've started her on a course of anti-retrovirals. It may be too late for them to be effective, but, likewise, it's not a foregone conclusion.

Scouse.

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Thankyou for all your advice Scouse

I'm going to call my Dad now and see if we know anything more on the situation.

Edit - Chuchok, I see what you mean, thanks for that life is definately too short.

If you acquired a list of medicines then we could look them up.

Is there any idea of how long they've had it for, or how they got it? It might just be sero-conversion taking place if they're feeling lousy. That is way way ahead (years) of full-blown AIDS,