You Think Thailand Is Bad? Try The Uk Pensions Lot!

[transam]

Ha, so whats your opinion that l did all that's necessary but lost most cos my wife wanted to tour the world with another guy and took most of my financial and home building in the settlement.

Some here are blind to individual cases. fuc_k, l get angry with some snotty nosed do gooders.

I see three mistakes here.

1. Choosing the wrong wife

2. Having made mistake number 1compounding it by choosing the wrong lawyer

3. Having made mistake numbers 1 and 2 resorting to the argument that your problems are caused by other people.

Mistake number 3 is the big one, it hangs round your neck like a dead albatross - Move on, get on and stop whinging here on TV every other week about the choices you made/did not make.

And as for "Do Gooder", I'm not that, I don't think there is any point in doing anything for anyone other than giving them a chance - Thereafter it is up to them what they make of it.

Some will get off their ass and do something for themselves, others will not, usually resorting to giving a list of excuses that point at other people.

Think you can stop at No.1 Dave , where your argument really falls apart. Met my ex and said to her I will never ask you to marry me. Five years later SHE asked me to marry her. Great. Another 20 years on she wanted o do something different, end of my story and your No.1.

[GuestHouse]

Think you can stop at No.1 Dave , where your argument really falls apart. Met my ex and said to her I will never ask you to marry me. Five years later SHE asked me to marry her. Great. Another 20 years on she wanted o do something different, end of my story and your No.1.

She asked you to marry her and you presumably agreed and since then your life has gone to rat shit.

Like I said it's mistake number 3 that is the biggy, this whole "Its not my fault thing" - Hell you're even blaming your wife for the fact you married her now.

[tmd5855]

Ha, so whats your opinion that l did all that's necessary but lost most cos my wife wanted to tour the world with another guy and took most of my financial and home building in the settlement.

Some here are blind to individual cases. fuc_k, l get angry with some snotty nosed do gooders.

Ah??

We are the same in some way then??

2004 my wife wanted rid of me, so took an overseas posting to Indonesia while she went to the lawyers.

2007, lawyers drew up the papers, she kept a 4 bed house 48 miles from London heathrow. All the money in the bank, shares and the 3 cars.

I had two suitcases, zero money in the bank but kept my Merchant navy officers pension.

Worked all the extra days possible, done freelancing and by 2010 had got back on my feet.

August 2011 started building my retiement home (No GF, land etc protected).

Pictures below

Reason why I did this??

My ex thought she had crippled and broke me, little did she realise that with no more access to a joint bank account she was depleting her bank balance as I were building mine. When she became assest rich but cash poor, I were now cash rich mak mak. It made my day to see the look on her face when after telling her tales of woe and needed money, my reply was "No" the look was was priceless.

Took me 5 years to get everything back, why don't you do the same

[ludditeman]

Ha, so whats your opinion that l did all that's necessary but lost most cos my wife wanted to tour the world with another guy and took most of my financial and home building in the settlement.

Some here are blind to individual cases. fuc_k, l get angry with some snotty nosed do gooders.

I see three mistakes here.

1. Choosing the wrong wife

2. Having made mistake number 1compounding it by choosing the wrong lawyer

3. Having made mistake numbers 1 and 2 resorting to the argument that your problems are caused by other people.

Mistake number 3 is the big one, it hangs round your neck like a dead albatross - Move on, get on and stop whinging here on TV every other week about the choices you made/did not make.

And as for "Do Gooder", I'm not that, I don't think there is any point in doing anything for anyone other than giving them a chance - Thereafter it is up to them what they make of it.

Some will get off their ass and do something for themselves, others will not, usually resorting to giving a list of excuses that point at other people.

I think you are well out of order with your personal comments against Transam.

He and I had similar experiences, with women we had been with a long time (20+ years).

I know many other guys that have had the same happen to them.

Just because it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean we were stupid and you were clever, or our lawyers were stupid, or we were lazy and sat on our <deleted>, or that it even preys on out minds to any great extent.

I'm not even sure we are whining about what happened in our past, just recounting stories.

I'm fairly sure that both transam and I were merely unlucky to be with women that turned into 'bunny boilers'.

It could happen to any man, and frequently does.

I have had the good fortune to end up here with a new, younger, prettier wife, a better life than I ever had before, a replacement son (my own) and a replacement daughter (not my own). It was a good deal for me as life in the UK would have been shit with the previous misses. Actually, I suspect life in the UK may now be shit under any circumstances.

PS

I can't see anywhere, where either of us claim to have not recovered or to be broke.

Edited February 23, 2012 by ludditeman

[GuestHouse]

Ha, so whats your opinion that l did all that's necessary but lost most cos my wife wanted to tour the world with another guy and took most of my financial and home building in the settlement.

Some here are blind to individual cases. fuc_k, l get angry with some snotty nosed do gooders.

Took me 5 years to get everything back, why don't you do the same

Precisely and thanks for posting a positive story about taking control of your own life.

[endure]

]My problem with Bendix's post quoted was his attitude which is always supercilious; the anonymity that a forum such as this provides frequently provides the bully with the opportunity to demean others. I cannot accept that

Get over yourself, princess. It's a discussion forum.

But thanks for your constructive criticism and feedback. I will take it on board, consider it carefully, and then promptly ignore it.

Thank you - I expected no less from you

I think bendix ''was'' someone else. Ooooooooooooooooooh

No - Bendix has always been Bendix.

Edited February 23, 2012 by endure

[transam]

Sadly.

[hughben]

I remember talking to someone at the NI office a few years ago and they told me that in 'X' amount of years your contributions won't matter as there will be a blanket rate for pensions. I was inquiring about paying some missing years and they advised me not to bother.

[GuestHouse]

I remember talking to someone at the NI office a few years ago and they told me that in 'X' amount of years your contributions won't matter as there will be a blanket rate for pensions. I was inquiring about paying some missing years and they advised me not to bother.

You should revisit that advice before its too late.

The advice you have been given is very wrong.

[mommysboy]

Poor OP! very bad luck but I'm sure it will be sorted. " If it aint bust don't mend it".

But OP has now really jeopardised his chance of dashing back to Blitey should urgent medicine be needed. I don't know how clever the powers that be are, but there is a chance they'll link this to NHS entitlement.

I think by the time I retire, not only will the age be around 99, but entitlement will be based on residence.

Benefits like the dole are not so bad for a society to pay, as the money just gets spent locally, but money that just drains away to another country is actually highly damaging. The basic idea of the welfare system is (was) to provide a safety net for those disadvantaged, and the young and elderly, it is not to provide an investment vehicle to retire in comfort abroad, which is not good for me at all as I much prefer to stay out here.

[endure]

I remember talking to someone at the NI office a few years ago and they told me that in 'X' amount of years your contributions won't matter as there will be a blanket rate for pensions. I was inquiring about paying some missing years and they advised me not to bother.

You should revisit that advice before its too late.

The advice you have been given is very wrong.

Not necessarily

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-12954888

[RonanTheBarbarian]

Ha, so whats your opinion that l did all that's necessary but lost most cos my wife wanted to tour the world with another guy and took most of my financial and home building in the settlement.

Some here are blind to individual cases. fuc_k, l get angry with some snotty nosed do gooders.

I see three mistakes here.

1. Choosing the wrong wife

2. Having made mistake number 1compounding it by choosing the wrong lawyer

3. Having made mistake numbers 1 and 2 resorting to the argument that your problems are caused by other people

Well, GuestHouse, in fairness, not sure how having a good lawyer would be have made much difference in this case. I don't know if you know much about British divorce law, but my understanding is that if he was married to the wife for 20 years, no matter even if he had Rumpole of the Bailey as his lawyer, she is going to get a good chunk off him.

This isn't a woman bashing point, by the way, just a point of information. I actually find it interesting how posters in threads like this always seem surprised that the wife gets a lot of the assets (there seems to be an awful lot of men in the western world who find a wife divorces them after 20-30 years of marriage who like whinging on the internet). But the wronged husbands rarely tell the whole story. I know a guy in real life, was married for 25 years with three children. Last one was mildly mentally handicapped, wife stayed at home with kids for all the years. They split up and she got the house, and a small enough maintenance payment. Later one found out he was on a message board (not this one) and i looked at some of his threads. He went into several threads about divorces whining about the fact that he had been robbed in his divorce - nothing about the fact that the wife had devoted her life to minding the house and kids. He even had the cheek to say that the wife "never bothered getting a job even when the kids were grown" without adding the fact that one of the kids had the mind of a child even when he had reached adulthood.

I

[GuestHouse]

Endure and Hughben.

From Endure's BBC Link.

Two options are suggested. One is a universal £140-a-week payment to anyone who has 30 years of National Insurance contributions.

The second would bring forward plans to replace the second state pension with a payment of £1.60 for each qualifying year. So, somebody with 30 years of contributions would receive £97 in basic state pension and £48 in state second pension, making a total of £145 a week.

Caring for a young child or an elderly dependant would count as a qualifying year, in the same way as a year in employment.

But it is the option of a universal flat-rate payment that would be the biggest overhaul of the system for decades.

Some of the key points will include:

• The flat-rate pension will only be available for new pensioners reaching state pension age, rather than the millions of existing pensioners
  
• ...........
  
• At least 30 qualifying years of National Insurance contributions will be required for the full state pension. A minimum level of seven years will be set, under which no state pension will be paid.
  

The proposals, if given the go-ahead, could create a two-tier system of state pension for some time.

Take note.

The requirement for 30 years of contribution to get a FULL FLAT RATE pension remains.

Less than 7 years contribution no pension to be paid.

So between 7 years of contribution and 30 years of contribution you get what?

The pension system is indeed being overhauled. Right now under today's rules you can pay up missing years of contribution at a very cheap rate. Are the government going to allow this after the overhaul?

Again, don't take my word for it, get advice from an IFA.

For the record, my own IFA advises me to pay up missing years, he regards being able to buy a UK state pension at such a low rate of payment as being one of those unmissable bargains in life.

[GuestHouse]

Well, GuestHouse, in fairness, not sure how having a good lawyer would be have made much difference in this case. I don't know if you know much about British divorce law, but my understanding is that if he was married to the wife for 20 years, no matter even if he had Rumpole of the Bailey as his lawyer, she is going to get a good chunk off him.

This isn't a woman bashing point, by the way, just a point of information. I actually find it interesting how posters in threads like this always seem surprised that the wife gets a lot of the assets (there seems to be an awful lot of men in the western world who find a wife divorces them after 20-30 years of marriage who like whinging on the internet). But the wronged husbands rarely tell the whole story. I know a guy in real life, was married for 25 years with three children. Last one was mildly mentally handicapped, wife stayed at home with kids for all the years. They split up and she got the house, and a small enough maintenance payment. Later one found out he was on a message board (not this one) and i looked at some of his threads. He went into several threads about divorces whining about the fact that he had been robbed in his divorce - nothing about the fact that the wife had devoted her life to minding the house and kids. He even had the cheek to say that the wife "never bothered getting a job even when the kids were grown" without adding the fact that one of the kids had the mind of a child even when he had reached adulthood.

I agree entirely with everything you said, though I disagree with the attitude "She's going to get/Did get and chunk of him"

As the example you give indicates there are other issues - what actually happens is a sharing of the family wealth and an assignment of on going responsibility.

Thereafter the point made a few posts up that this could happen to anyone is irrelevant.

It is not what happens to us, it is what we do about it.

If life leaves you broke, but still able to work then it is what you do for yourself that matters.

We know that Thailand attracts a proportion of guys straight out of the divorce courts, we know that it is virtually impossible to find well paid employment here but very easy to find an outlet for grief and cash in our wallets. So it is not a surprise that Thailand and Thailand forums get so many post divorce, anti western women views.

But it is right at the centre of all these discussions about pensions, life after divorce and choosing your own life.

If you want your own life, take responsibility for your own life.

I don't think I've ever heard people who have taken responsibility for their own life whinging. And please, not all of those are loaded with cash and pensions.

[StreetCowboy]

Well, GuestHouse, in fairness, not sure how having a good lawyer would be have made much difference in this case. I don't know if you know much about British divorce law, but my understanding is that if he was married to the wife for 20 years, no matter even if he had Rumpole of the Bailey as his lawyer, she is going to get a good chunk off him.

This isn't a woman bashing point, by the way, just a point of information. I actually find it interesting how posters in threads like this always seem surprised that the wife gets a lot of the assets (there seems to be an awful lot of men in the western world who find a wife divorces them after 20-30 years of marriage who like whinging on the internet). But the wronged husbands rarely tell the whole story. I know a guy in real life, was married for 25 years with three children. Last one was mildly mentally handicapped, wife stayed at home with kids for all the years. They split up and she got the house, and a small enough maintenance payment. Later one found out he was on a message board (not this one) and i looked at some of his threads. He went into several threads about divorces whining about the fact that he had been robbed in his divorce - nothing about the fact that the wife had devoted her life to minding the house and kids. He even had the cheek to say that the wife "never bothered getting a job even when the kids were grown" without adding the fact that one of the kids had the mind of a child even when he had reached adulthood.

I agree entirely with everything you said, though I disagree with the attitude "She's going to get/Did get and chunk of him"

As the example you give indicates there are other issues - what actually happens is a sharing of the family wealth and an assignment of on going responsibility.

Thereafter the point made a few posts up that this could happen to anyone is irrelevant.

It is not what happens to us, it is what we do about it.

If life leaves you broke, but still able to work then it is what you do for yourself that matters.

We know that Thailand attracts a proportion of guys straight out of the divorce courts, we know that it is virtually impossible to find well paid employment here but very easy to find an outlet for grief and cash in our wallets. So it is not a surprise that Thailand and Thailand forums get so many post divorce, anti western women views.

But it is right at the centre of all these discussions about pensions, life after divorce and choosing your own life.

If you want your own life, take responsibility for your own life.

I don't think I've ever heard people who have taken responsibility for their own life whinging. And please, not all of those are loaded with cash and pensions.

You'll here me whinging often enough about having to work till I'm 70, but I hope at least the rest of you can maintain a sense of humour about it and have a little chuckle,

SC

[exeter]

some interesting stories here and some bad treatment to, for those of you who have recovered I salute you, even though it seems to be a bit off topic.

[StreetCowboy]

Ha, so whats your opinion that l did all that's necessary but lost most cos my wife wanted to tour the world with another guy and took most of my financial and home building in the settlement.

Some here are blind to individual cases. fuc_k, l get angry with some snotty nosed do gooders.

I see three mistakes here.

1. Choosing the wrong wife

2. Having made mistake number 1compounding it by choosing the wrong lawyer

3. Having made mistake numbers 1 and 2 resorting to the argument that your problems are caused by other people

Well, GuestHouse, in fairness, not sure how having a good lawyer would be have made much difference in this case. I don't know if you know much about British divorce law, but my understanding is that if he was married to the wife for 20 years, no matter even if he had Rumpole of the Bailey as his lawyer, she is going to get a good chunk off him.

This isn't a woman bashing point, by the way, just a point of information. I actually find it interesting how posters in threads like this always seem surprised that the wife gets a lot of the assets (there seems to be an awful lot of men in the western world who find a wife divorces them after 20-30 years of marriage who like whinging on the internet). But the wronged husbands rarely tell the whole story. I know a guy in real life, was married for 25 years with three children. Last one was mildly mentally handicapped, wife stayed at home with kids for all the years. They split up and she got the house, and a small enough maintenance payment. Later one found out he was on a message board (not this one) and i looked at some of his threads. He went into several threads about divorces whining about the fact that he had been robbed in his divorce - nothing about the fact that the wife had devoted her life to minding the house and kids. He even had the cheek to say that the wife "never bothered getting a job even when the kids were grown" without adding the fact that one of the kids had the mind of a child even when he had reached adulthood.

I

Its difficult to get a decent job when you've been out of your career for say ten years, and you'r priorities and mental attitude change. That's one of the reasons why people who take maternity leave, and whose lives revolve around their children (predominantly women) don't progress so well as other people who are not so bothered about family life and socialise (i.e. brown-nose / politically maneuvre) with work colleagues at the expense of time with wife and kids. However, we still claim that the kids are ours as much as our wife's, and therefore presumably our careers and our salaries are our wife's as much as our own

SC

[mommysboy]

Brits between the ages of 50 and 70 (that's the old gits whinging about pensions) have been raised in a welfare state, left school at a time of full employment, had free higher education if they had payed enough attention in school to pass selection, alternatively had access to apprenticeships, lived through decades of increasing personal wealth, rising house prices, had access to jobs with defined benefit pensions...basically this demographic group have had oportunity and wealth handed them on a plate.

If you're a Brit coming up to retirement and the only pension daving you have is the state pension then you must have ducked, ignored or squandered the multitude of oportunities handed to you over decades.

Now you want us to listen to "it's 'snot fair"

Then there's the real life of bad decisions, redundancies, mis sold endowments, ponzi scheme pensions, failed relationships, physical and mental illness, and of course recessions. The age group mentioned are also those most likely to have been taught to rely on the state. Misfortune comes in all guises, who knows you may even suffer a mighty fall from that high horse you are on (joke).

However there is some merit in what you say, times that will not be seen again for sure, and I'm dumbfounded how anyone can live out here on state pension alone anyway!

Personally, I can quite understand those on a meagre pension, and experiencing ever shrinking exchange rates, having a good old moan, after all they are genuinely suffering. It's the ones that have a bulging bank account and 2 pensions, and still complain about being short changed that I don't understand.

[thaibeachlovers]

Ha, so whats your opinion that l did all that's necessary but lost most cos my wife wanted to tour the world with another guy and took most of my financial and home building in the settlement.

Some here are blind to individual cases. fuc_k, l get angry with some snotty nosed do gooders.

I see three mistakes here.

1. Choosing the wrong wife

2. Having made mistake number 1compounding it by choosing the wrong lawyer

3. Having made mistake numbers 1 and 2 resorting to the argument that your problems are caused by other people.

Mistake number 3 is the big one, it hangs round your neck like a dead albatross - Move on, get on and stop whinging here on TV every other week about the choices you made/did not make.

And as for "Do Gooder", I'm not that, I don't think there is any point in doing anything for anyone other than giving them a chance - Thereafter it is up to them what they make of it.

Some will get off their ass and do something for themselves, others will not, usually resorting to giving a list of excuses that point at other people.

I take issue with #2. How that h_ll does someone that never had anything to do with lawyers get to know what constitutes a "good" lawyer, especially back before the internet and google?

However, my "after" problems were of my own making, caused, not by whinging, but by thinking it was a good idea to go into a low paid occupation to "help society". I should have been a selfish b**tard and done something to just make loads of cash and give the finger to society's unfortunates. At least I'd have been all right, Jack!

[GuestHouse]

I can see this is eating you up TBL.

But honestly, refusing to see yourself as a Victim does help. <deleted> happens, and if I read your correctly and your <deleted> happened before the advent of Google, you've had plenty of time to move on, pick yourself up and get on with it.

Oh and I don't disagree, it is not a good thing that many of the overtly socially useful jobs are low paid. But don't make the mistake of setting yourself up as a martyr for it.

I was cheated and robbed, then I gave my life to the service of others....... That's why I'm where I am.

Its just not a healthy line of thought.

[GuestHouse]

I take issue with #2. How that h_ll does someone that never had anything to do with lawyers get to know what constitutes a "good" lawyer, especially back before the internet and google?

Even before the days of Google the advice "Jewish and Female" was always a good guide.

[thaibeachlovers]

I can see this is eating you up TBL.

But honestly, refusing to see yourself as a Victim does help. <deleted> happens, and if I read your correctly and your <deleted> happened before the advent of Google, you've had plenty of time to move on, pick yourself up and get on with it.

Oh and I don't disagree, it is not a good thing that many of the overtly socially useful jobs are low paid. But don't make the mistake of setting yourself up as a martyr for it.

I was cheated and robbed, then I gave my life to the service of others....... That's why I'm where I am.

Its just not a healthy line of thought.

Agreed. Unfortunately it also happens to be true!

However, after many years I no longer blame others for my situation. It was my mistake. I have learned my lesson, and am now a selfish b**tard.

When I am old enough, I shall be in the q for whatever I can bludge out of the social welfare state. Mind you it's a pretty extensive q these days, so I hope I have the stanima to fend off all the idle youth and pregnant teenagers with their hands out too.

[thaibeachlovers]

I take issue with #2. How that h_ll does someone that never had anything to do with lawyers get to know what constitutes a "good" lawyer, especially back before the internet and google?

Even before the days of Google the advice "Jewish and Female" was always a good guide.

Oh dear, I never heard of that before, but that might be because when I needed one, I don't think there were many, if any female lawyers in my country, and Jews were people in the Bible, not much seen around in "real life".

[GuestHouse]

Agreed. Unfortunately it also happens to be true!

However, after many years I no longer blame others for my situation. It was my mistake. I have learned my lesson, and am now a selfish b**tard.

When I am old enough, I shall be in the q for whatever I can bludge out of the social welfare state. Mind you it's a pretty extensive q these days, so I hope I have the stanima to fend off all the idle youth and pregnant teenagers with their hands out too.

Just make sure you don't miscalculate the price of your last ticket home. I'd hate you to miss out on something for the sake of not being able to get there.

[kenmar]

Why is it bad???

[GuestHouse]

Why is it bad???

Why is what bad?

[thaibeachlovers]

Why is it bad???

Why is what bad?

Uh oh- snap!

Edited February 25, 2012 by thaibeachlovers

[mahtin]

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning little relevancy bore

[nong38]

The topic has come a long way from the UK pension dept.

[elliss]

the UK goverment is likely to implement a ,STATE PENSION OF £140. per week across the board.

so people who have paid a state, earnings related pension ,

tough <deleted>.