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Pre-Menstrual Women

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Im sticking this in Bedlam, but its not actually here for a joke. Its here because i feel the men here are a little more considerate in their replies, than the general fray in the forum outside.

A genuine query, as to what (if any) your experiences are/have been with women with pms? (note: this isnt purely a western womans issue! Or an excuse to be mean to men!)

Im asking this, because quite honestly, i get it terribly. Im a changed person. Anyone who knows me, knows me as a fairly level headed, good natured, quiet person, with little drama going on. But, for two or so days before my period im like Mr Hyde. Its actually horrible to experience as a WOMAN, let alone how it affects the one we love. ive tried to find herbal ways, meditative ways, etc, and now Im trying to find a medical way, to handle it, Oestrogen cream etc, because its not fair on me or my partner. At a drop of a hat i can be tearful, or fly off the handle snarling, or have totally irrational thoughts and responses.

For those who think PMS is an excuse, fake, etc, believe me, its not.

So guys, truly, would be nice to know your own experiences and what you did yourself to handle it, or what you think of it etc etc.

Honesty would be nice, so even if on the critical side, ill accept your point of view.

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My daughter had/has similar problem eek and she opted to a shot/injection which resulted in no periods for several months, Some kind of birth control method was the orginal use/development, if *I remember correctly..

My missus gets it somewhat (not as badly as others I've known). I have learned to give her a bit of space during this time, and all is well after a few days. Difficult for women who work, I expect.

Guess I have been lucky.

Both my late wife and my new wife have never shown any signs of PMS.

My Thai gal from a few years back did, or I reckon she did as she was sulky and sullen for a few days, but was no worry.

EEK, not the end of the world, most guys are understanding of what's up.

  • Author

Guess I have been lucky.

Both my late wife and my new wife have never shown any signs of PMS.

My Thai gal from a few years back did, or I reckon she did as she was sulky and sullen for a few days, but was no worry.

EEK, not the end of the world, most guys are understanding of what's up.

At the moment it feels a bit like that.

My bf is working away, and we only chat a couple of times a week at the moment. Yesterday evening we planned to chat. However, i got upset about something regarding him, so was simmering before he even called. Then, after waiting on skype for him for some time, he calls up my mobile to say he will be late for our chat and that he was at the hotel pub as the owner bought him a drink and wanted to have a word about something. I told him that i really needed to talk to him about something and he said he would be 15 minutes. Of course, gets past 15 minutes..and by this time my blood is boiling. So (which i of course regret), i called up his mobile via skype. I tried to keep it together as i asked him why he was keeping me waiting and i had something important to talk about etc etc, with my bad skype connection he apparently didnt hear the anger in my voice, and said the owner of the hotel wanted to say hello to me. ...which i did not hear my bf say. So anyway..the owner of the hotel apparently received my full on angry rantathon about why the hell does he think its ok to keep me waiting and that i have something important to discuss and blah blah blah blah... ..apparently the owner went white as a sheet and passed my bf back the phone..and my bf apparently heard me through the phone shouting whilst it was at the owners ear and asked me what the hell was wrong with me and that i had embarrassed him.

Resulted in a terrible fight later on, where everything just unraveled and he basically told me how i completely humiliated him in front of the owner and the entire hotel/bar staff and members.

No reply to my message today of course.

Ended up taking myself to hospital to find out if there is anything they can do to help my moods during this time.

Feel like a total monster...and feel utterly shit.

My partner takes a guiness or two . I think it is to do with the iron content of the drink . There is also some kind of concoction she takes occasionaly that comes in a medicine bottle with a picture of an old lady on the label . It is called satee penpak . The medicine helps bring the cycle to an end , is strong and if she has the two together she is quite out out it .

Personally, I have never had a problem with PMS, however, .......

wife is terrible with it. Completely changed person, snarls at everyone like a rabid dog.

Almost so bad some months that she has to be locked up out of fear for causing harm to herself.

Won't go and see a doctor either because that would be admitting she is wrong, so I load up on Ponstan pills everytime I go past a chemist, and leave them everywhere within easy reach, ie. car, bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, office.

Sort of like secreting small bottles off grog all through the house so whenever you feel the urge, a quick nip of whisky is always within easy reach. :o

My last serious gf in Oz suffered the same way as you. She was a completely different person, angry, irrational, teary, and even suicidal, and the first time I saw it I was totally unprepared! She eventually sought help, and went on the pill, skipping the sugar pills for months at a time, so we only had the weather the storm every five months or so.

I'm sure your bf has been with you long enough to know you suffer through this every month, so it will just take him some time to get over the humiliation and embarrassment of last night. Once he does, he will understand. Especially if you're now looking for a solution. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up over it - you can't take back what happened, you can only try to ensure it does't get so bad in the future.

This is one thing that gets me about PMT. How are we supposed to know when it has started?

I am understanding once I realise but almost always end up with a flea in my ear a couple of times before I've cottoned on. Sure its a whole different relationship experience for two or three days each month.

Don't worry about your bf too much eek, when he understands what has happened he will forgive ya.

It don't do us any harm to have a bit of embarrassment from time to time! (Just don't do it againtongue.png )

  • Author

Thanks guys. Its good to hear male perspectives.

Smokie, with regards to knowing when its started, the only way to know is if the girl tells you its coming, or if you keep a note of roughly when its coming. My bf seems to know my cycle better than me these days, i guess for self-preservation! But, thing is,..it came a bit late this month..so in his mind, the storm was already finished. I guess thats why the incident took place in a way. He wasnt prepared and i wasnt in my right mind. Anyway, things are ok, hes still a bit sore from the humiliation factor, but really nothing i can do about that, can just move on and think of what to do next time. Wish to try to find a way to reduce this so the future months are not as problematic. Fact is, nearly every month we end up having some kind of fight during that time. Rest of the month is fine, some normal hiccups maybe, but nothing..but then all hell can break loose once a month. One thing generally works, but as my bf is working away, that is not feasible.. laugh.png..dont think he would be too happy about me finding an alternative source just to calm my pms. But with that, im still snappy. So, now i can only think that we must take time out to do our own thing and avoid each other during this time, or find a way to reduce the symptoms.

Bloody hormones... saai.gif

He needs to learn to not react, yes you can search out medical treatments and they may or may not help but hes got a role to play in this and the fact that he feels the need to react enough that you get into arguments says that he needs to learn to step away, not take it personally.

Its not easy to do but it must be done for both of you, My mother went through a horrendous menopause, she had a hysterectomy when she was younger and they put her on hormones, she then developed estrogen senstive breast cancer (probably because in those days they gave mega doses of the stuff) so when she was diagnosed they pulled her off the hormones immediately. she went from an extremely high level to zero overnight and had a terrible time, Awful hot flashes, so bad she would turn beet red and sweat for 15 minutes and rapid mood swings from a woman who was always gentle, kind and loving. I was a teenager at the time and I just had to learn to realize it wasn't my mom, it was her menopause and not take it personally and go and give her a hug.

Your boyfriend needs to learn to do that.

I like to deal with it by going on holiday for a few days....give her her personal space....I am not selfish like that.

Remember for that long? Especially with over three weeks of happiness and bliss in between? You flatter me! tongue.png

I'm gonna have a look for a smartphone app. wink.png

Don't buy all the "BF needs to learn" stuff. It's not our fault chicks get on the train to Romford once a month, but get off at Barking. I just weather the storm as best as I can, but will not sit there and needlessly cop a load of abuse and <deleted> just because of PMS. Sorry, but no. Invariably it starts currently with a throwaway comment being misunderstood, followed up with a day of "I'm fine" through to 12 hours of "I'm moving out; no body can be with me" blah blah. Turn the TV up, few extra beers and give me a nudge when you've returned to planet sane again.

Women - You need to learn. When you are throwing a tantrum over nothing, and you know it is PMS, understand what is happening and calm the heck down OR accept the fact it is your problem and sure, you might not be able to help it, but deal with it. Like men do.

Don't buy all the "BF needs to learn" stuff. It's not our fault chicks get on the train to Romford once a month, but get off at Barking. I just weather the storm as best as I can, but will not sit there and needlessly cop a load of abuse and <deleted> just because of PMS. Sorry, but no. Invariably it starts currently with a throwaway comment being misunderstood, followed up with a day of "I'm fine" through to 12 hours of "I'm moving out; no body can be with me" blah blah. Turn the TV up, few extra beers and give me a nudge when you've returned to planet sane again.

Women - You need to learn. When you are throwing a tantrum over nothing, and you know it is PMS, understand what is happening and calm the heck down OR accept the fact it is your problem and sure, you might not be able to help it, but deal with it. Like men do.

well said.....
  • Author

Works both ways Pseudolus, if you want harmony in your relationship. A woman who isnt prepared to try her best during pms isnt fair, but also, a man whos a total ass about it isnt either. The fact is, its hormonal. So basically telling someone to sort their shit out, is like telling someone clinically depressed to cheer up. Women will remember a man who is tolerant, and in return he gets treated like a king and let off the hook for the things he does thats a pain in the ass for the rest of the month.

.....but deal with it. Like men do.

I know a man who was put on female hormones due to testicular cancer. He was tearful and snappy. He said to me during the course of this that he will never again think pms is something easy. He said it felt like hell.

-----

sbk, he does generally handle it well. I just wish there wasnt any need for it to be "handle-able", so im working out the best way forward. ..for both of us.

Also, he is working like a cart-horse at the moment, 12 and sometimes 14 hour shifts. Very tired man. Its not fair on him to have a gf go bonkers, especially during this time, even if i dont mean it.

Don't buy all the "BF needs to learn" stuff. It's not our fault chicks get on the train to Romford once a month, but get off at Barking. I just weather the storm as best as I can, but will not sit there and needlessly cop a load of abuse and <deleted> just because of PMS. Sorry, but no. Invariably it starts currently with a throwaway comment being misunderstood, followed up with a day of "I'm fine" through to 12 hours of "I'm moving out; no body can be with me" blah blah. Turn the TV up, few extra beers and give me a nudge when you've returned to planet sane again.

Women - You need to learn. When you are throwing a tantrum over nothing, and you know it is PMS, understand what is happening and calm the heck down OR accept the fact it is your problem and sure, you might not be able to help it, but deal with it. Like men do.

well said.....

Excellent comment.

Yeah, take responsibility for their actions, stop blaming 'men'.

  • Author

Don't buy all the "BF needs to learn" stuff. It's not our fault chicks get on the train to Romford once a month, but get off at Barking. I just weather the storm as best as I can, but will not sit there and needlessly cop a load of abuse and <deleted> just because of PMS. Sorry, but no. Invariably it starts currently with a throwaway comment being misunderstood, followed up with a day of "I'm fine" through to 12 hours of "I'm moving out; no body can be with me" blah blah. Turn the TV up, few extra beers and give me a nudge when you've returned to planet sane again.

Women - You need to learn. When you are throwing a tantrum over nothing, and you know it is PMS, understand what is happening and calm the heck down OR accept the fact it is your problem and sure, you might not be able to help it, but deal with it. Like men do.

well said.....

Excellent comment.

Yeah, take responsibility for their actions, stop blaming 'men'.

Who are blaming men?

Works both ways Pseudolus, if you want harmony in your relationship. A woman who isnt prepared to try her best during pms isnt fair, but also, a man whos a total ass about it isnt either. The fact is, its hormonal. So basically telling someone to sort their shit out, is like telling someone clinically depressed to cheer up. Women will remember a man who is tolerant, and in return he gets treated like a king and let off the hook for the things he does thats a pain in the ass for the rest of the month.

.....but deal with it. Like men do.

I know a man who was put on female hormones due to testicular cancer. He was tearful and snappy. He said to me during the course of this that he will never again think pms is something easy. He said it felt like hell.

-----

sbk, he does generally handle it well. I just wish there wasnt any need for it to be "handle-able", so im working out the best way forward. ..for both of us.

Also, he is working like a cart-horse at the moment, 12 and sometimes 14 hour shifts. Very tired man. Its not fair on him to have a gf go bonkers, especially during this time, even if i dont mean it.

Fair is Fair - women get away with murder, pulling out the PMS card as mitigating circumstances and men on the whole accept it. However, PMS women gets the wind up about something. Man ignores it (or as you might all it, supports her lol ) and then the argument continues beyond the end of the PMS. How is that fair? Sitting there minding your own business, get accused of cheating which is a usual one I guess because "no one should love me" but then the accusation is out there. Surely if men are to accept it all, they must also be given a week when they are allowed to act like a complete tosser and get away with it.

All men sympathise. However, I get gout and sometimes after a couple of days of excruciating agony when I've not taken the pills quick enough I get snappy. However, I know I am being irrational and grumpy and apologise about it, and try to stop myself no matter how wound up I am getting. How do I do it? Well I know that my foot hurts, and therefore I am irritable. I then compensate for this and try not to be a beast. if I can do it, so can women. Why? Well you all know what is happening, but because it is the trend to hammer your blokes all the time anyway and they put up with it, you continue when your all PMS'y. In actual fact though, when you start feeling all hormonal how hard would it be to understand that and deal with it? Secret is I expect that most women just don't want to. They want to have a week long vent to get it all off their chests with the PMS mitigation in place. Give it a try though next month and report back how it all goes. :)

Works both ways Pseudolus, if you want harmony in your relationship. A woman who isnt prepared to try her best during pms isnt fair, but also, a man whos a total ass about it isnt either. The fact is, its hormonal. So basically telling someone to sort their shit out, is like telling someone clinically depressed to cheer up. Women will remember a man who is tolerant, and in return he gets treated like a king and let off the hook for the things he does thats a pain in the ass for the rest of the month.

.....but deal with it. Like men do.

I know a man who was put on female hormones due to testicular cancer. He was tearful and snappy. He said to me during the course of this that he will never again think pms is something easy. He said it felt like hell.

-----

sbk, he does generally handle it well. I just wish there wasnt any need for it to be "handle-able", so im working out the best way forward. ..for both of us.

Also, he is working like a cart-horse at the moment, 12 and sometimes 14 hour shifts. Very tired man. Its not fair on him to have a gf go bonkers, especially during this time, even if i dont mean it.

Fair is Fair - women get away with murder, pulling out the PMS card as mitigating circumstances and men on the whole accept it. However, PMS women gets the wind up about something. Man ignores it (or as you might all it, supports her lol ) and then the argument continues beyond the end of the PMS. How is that fair? Sitting there minding your own business, get accused of cheating which is a usual one I guess because "no one should love me" but then the accusation is out there. Surely if men are to accept it all, they must also be given a week when they are allowed to act like a complete tosser and get away with it.

All men sympathise. However, I get gout and sometimes after a couple of days of excruciating agony when I've not taken the pills quick enough I get snappy. However, I know I am being irrational and grumpy and apologise about it, and try to stop myself no matter how wound up I am getting. How do I do it? Well I know that my foot hurts, and therefore I am irritable. I then compensate for this and try not to be a beast. if I can do it, so can women. Why? Well you all know what is happening, but because it is the trend to hammer your blokes all the time anyway and they put up with it, you continue when your all PMS'y. In actual fact though, when you start feeling all hormonal how hard would it be to understand that and deal with it? Secret is I expect that most women just don't want to. They want to have a week long vent to get it all off their chests with the PMS mitigation in place. Give it a try though next month and report back how it all goes. smile.png

Aye , well . Are you trying to say women don't understand or experience illness and painful illness because they have menstruation ?

  • Author

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Pseudolus, maybe you have met some pretty nasty women who used it as an excuse..i dont know. Maybe they had issues with you in general and pms was a good way out. Again, i dont know. But any woman that truly cares about their partner wants a harmonious happy relationship, not friction. Otherwise, why be together?

I personally have a couple of days when my temper is short and my moods are erratic. Im emotional and snappy. I dont throw things, i dont scream and yell. I am guilty of ranting and raving, taking things the wrong way, being over sensitive, and generally unreasonable. Of course i am sad about that, and apologetic. What person actually would want to feel like that?

I love my bf. No wish whatsoever to make his life hell. We just got off the phone and was a wonderful conversation. He also said he doesnt like the idea of my taking anything, which is great of him, considering how i am at that time. But, ill look into what i can do anyway, as ive no wish for this to be a part of our lives every month.

Im believe i am a nice person to be around, dont like fuss and aggravation, but for a few days im not fun to be around. It doesnt go beyond those days. When i get my period, the storm passes, and im back to myself again. If you have experienced women going beyond pms days, thats something more.

Anyway, glad to have views on this. If i wasnt considerate and trying to work out what to do, i wouldnt even have posed the question.

blink.png

Anyway, glad to have views on this. If i wasnt considerate and trying to work out what to do, i wouldnt even have posed the question.

How long do we have till the next explosion ??

blink.png

Pseudolus, maybe you have met some pretty nasty women who used it as an excuse..i dont know. Maybe they had issues with you in general and pms was a good way out. Again, i dont know. But any woman that truly cares about their partner wants a harmonious happy relationship, not friction. Otherwise, why be together?

I personally have a couple of days when my temper is short and my moods are erratic. Im emotional and snappy. I dont throw things, i dont scream and yell. I am guilty of ranting and raving, taking things the wrong way, being over sensitive, and generally unreasonable. Of course i am sad about that, and apologetic. What person actually would want to feel like that?

I love my bf. No wish whatsoever to make his life hell. We just got off the phone and was a wonderful conversation. He also said he doesnt like the idea of my taking anything, which is great of him, considering how i am at that time. But, ill look into what i can do anyway, as ive no wish for this to be a part of our lives every month.

Im believe i am a nice person to be around, dont like fuss and aggravation, but for a few days im not fun to be around. It doesnt go beyond those days. When i get my period, the storm passes, and im back to myself again. If you have experienced women going beyond pms days, thats something more.

Anyway, glad to have views on this. If i wasnt considerate and trying to work out what to do, i wouldnt even have posed the question.

I appreciate that. I was just doing a kind turn to your BF and trying to draw your fire away from him and give him a restful couple of days thumbsup.gif

  • Author

Guess you'll know it when it arrives. :P

My bf knows, so thats all that matters.

However, maybe ill happen on a miracle cure by then.

unless you have experienced pms you cant make comment on how we should learn to deal with it. comparing it to gout is pointless. gout is usually self inflicted due to poor diet & alcohol, pms can hit any women at any time for the only reason that she is female. there is very rarely any control to be had so not even remotely the same thing.

I rarely get pms these days but if I want to get pissed off I will. but that said I know more men who have regular mood swings more than women, at least women only get the strop for a couple of days a month.

Guess you'll know it when it arrives. tongue.png

My bf knows, so thats all that matters.

However, maybe ill happen on a miracle cure by then.

Finest chocolate you can lay your hands on, and I hope your BF knows this and brings you baskets of the stuff as I do for my GF. She does not understand quite why, but it seems to take the edge off.

unless you have experienced pms you cant make comment on how we should learn to deal with it. comparing it to gout is pointless. gout is usually self inflicted due to poor diet & alcohol, pms can hit any women at any time for the only reason that she is female. there is very rarely any control to be had so not even remotely the same thing.

I rarely get pms these days but if I want to get pissed off I will. but that said I know more men who have regular mood swings more than women, at least women only get the strop for a couple of days a month.

Pointless to comment on gout when you have not had it, and do not know where it comes from. Mine started aged 9 after a biking accident that perforated my spleen and I would gladly swap it for a few days feeling grumpy once a month. All men get PMS because they suffer the effects just as much as the lady, only that we have no ability to do anything other than to take the abuse tongue.png

Yup. Poor men.

I can imagine how well you would cope with having a period every month; oftentimes with great pain or emotional mood swings, then having annual exams where a speculum is stuck up inside you and twisted round, then a hand goes in there too, just to feel up the uterus, and this starting at around age 16 or 17 and going on every year for the rest of your life. Then ooh, mammograms, those are super fun too, nothing like standing half naked on your tippy toes with your breast completely squished between two metal plates so it can be xrayed. Never mind giving birth or any of that. I mean it can hardly compare to the suffering you poor men must go through. smile.png

And with that, I am done here, the responses from a few men are so typical it really just is pointless to bother.

unless you have experienced pms you cant make comment on how we should learn to deal with it. comparing it to gout is pointless. gout is usually self inflicted due to poor diet & alcohol, pms can hit any women at any time for the only reason that she is female. there is very rarely any control to be had so not even remotely the same thing.

I rarely get pms these days but if I want to get pissed off I will. but that said I know more men who have regular mood swings more than women, at least women only get the strop for a couple of days a month.

Sorry, but gout is something no-one should ever experience.

It is not due to poor diet, I have had to cut out such things as shellfish, kidneys, hearts, pulse vegetables such as peas and beans. My diet is now poor, but my gout only re-occurs a couple of times a year.

It is brought on by a malfunction in my kidneys, which do not convert the uric acid into urea, or some such process. This means that crystals are flowing around my body and accumulate in joints - usually in my feet, but can be anywhere. When the concentration builds up I can guarantee a week without sleep, often unable to walk, but I am adult enough not to inflict any of this on other people (unless they tread on my feet).

There is no cure, only management of the problem.

unless you have experienced pms you cant make comment on how we should learn to deal with it. comparing it to gout is pointless. gout is usually self inflicted due to poor diet & alcohol, pms can hit any women at any time for the only reason that she is female. there is very rarely any control to be had so not even remotely the same thing.

I rarely get pms these days but if I want to get pissed off I will. but that said I know more men who have regular mood swings more than women, at least women only get the strop for a couple of days a month.

Sorry, but gout is something no-one should ever experience.

It is not due to poor diet, I have had to cut out such things as shellfish, kidneys, hearts, pulse vegetables such as peas and beans. My diet is now poor, but my gout only re-occurs a couple of times a year.

It is brought on by a malfunction in my kidneys, which do not convert the uric acid into urea, or some such process. This means that crystals are flowing around my body and accumulate in joints - usually in my feet, but can be anywhere. When the concentration builds up I can guarantee a week without sleep, often unable to walk, but I am adult enough not to inflict any of this on other people (unless they tread on my feet).

There is no cure, only management of the problem.

Indeed there is a thread on the subject.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/481395-gout/page__hl__%20gout

Have any of you guys had that sample taking thingy down the eye of your penis ??

And the girls think they have something to complain about......

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