A normal task like showering becomes a tactical battle between me and my arch enemy the mosquito.

I go to the bathroom ( well... kind of a bathroom) with my trusty "tennis bat' electronic mosquito exterminator. The ritual starts with executing all the mosquitos I can find... zap, fizzle pop...

Then I sweep the dark areas, after that move the water in the jars and zap anything that flys out.. scan the walls for five minutes zapping any newcomers. After that it is relatively safe to bare my flesh ready for showering.

So last night after all the precautions I'm all lathered up and I fell the tell tale sting.. on my butt ! Slap, I get the bugger, and as a warning to all other mosquitos I smear him on the wall (my blood visible). You would think this warning (along with the smell of cooked mossies) would deter them.. no.. i have to grab the exterminator with soapy hands and fend off the onslaught... I escape with minor injuries, about three of them !

At night time, if i wake up wanting a piss, I have to run the gauntlet.. no cream, no tennis bat... just speed...

Couple of observations/questions

• If you swat a mosquito taking a drink on your body.. do you end up squeezing it's insides through it's nozzle and into your skin ??
  
• Why aren't they scared of my exterminator ?
  
• How can they find the smallest place you have forgotten to make cream.?
  
• It's bloody annoying when the get you through the clothes
  

Sitting here at the computer is risky too... just got bitten on the ear.. must have forgotton to out cream there... and another thing.. Why do the bites on the fingers hurt so much ?!

totster

Solution - try showering indoors.

Solution - try showering indoors.

I do...

totster

I just get the wife to go in before, drop one of her legendary farts, wait 10 minutes then enter into a mossie free enviroment. Works every time

Nice one tots

If you swat a mosquito taking a drink on your body.. do you end up squeezing it's insides through it's nozzle and into your skin ??

Yes, you must be very careful. If you spill his drink it will make him extremely angry, only looking at his wife will upset him more.

Why aren't they scared of my exterminator ?

You obviously don't have an exterminator with the noise....to make the noise simply make the lightsaber swooshing noise from Star Wars.

How can they find the smallest place you have forgotten to make cream.?

Mosquitos can read minds and, like dogs they can sense fear. You might not know you missed a spot, but they will by performing a vulcan mind scan. Their hands aren't as big as vulcans, but it is the same procedure.

It's bloody annoying when the get you through the clothes

It's more annoying when they get inside your armour.

I've found the best way to get rid of mosquitos is to drink heavily from your 15th floor balcony and listen to Thai Love songs, when you've had enough open the balcony door and go to bed. In the morning simply walk beneath your window and sweep the suicide mozzies into a bag and safely dispose.

Problem solved.

Have you ordered your MozzieBan yet Totster?

I ordered mine last Thursday and it arrived yesterday ( good service or what?)

When I came into my office this morning there were 3 of the little Bastards in here.

They have all dissappeared now

Have you ordered your MozzieBan yet Totster?

I ordered mine last Thursday and it arrived yesterday ( good service or what?)

When I came into my office this morning there were 3 of the little Bastards in here.

They have all dissappeared now

What's MozzieBan TP?

I just get the wife to go in before, drop one of her legendary farts, wait 10 minutes then enter into a mossie free enviroment. Works every time

Nah... they've had to endure my wife's farts for too long, they're immune now !

If you swat a mosquito taking a drink on your body.. do you end up squeezing it's insides through it's nozzle and into your skin ??

Yes, you must be very careful. If you spill his drink it will make him extremely angry, only looking at his wife will upset him more.

I was kinda thinking that it would make him spit his drink back into me... rather than spill it Anyways.. it's the wives that cause all the trouble anyway right ?

Why aren't they scared of my exterminator ?

You obviously don't have an exterminator with the noise....to make the noise simply make the lightsaber swooshing noise from Star Wars.

I tried that just now.. I'm sure they were laughing at me...

Mosquitos can read minds and, like dogs they can sense fear. You might not know you missed a spot, but they will by performing a vulcan mind scan. Their hands aren't as big as vulcans, but it is the same procedure.

I knew they had some kind of trick up their sleeves... but who would have thought it was a Vulcan mind scan eh ?

It's bloody annoying when the get you through the clothes

It's more annoying when they get inside your armour.

Hmmm... one sneaker sucker managed to creep under my T-shirt and get me about 5 times in the same area yesterday.. now that is annoying

I've found the best way to get rid of mosquitos is to drink heavily from your 15th floor balcony and listen to Thai Love songs, when you've had enough open the balcony door and go to bed. In the morning simply walk beneath your window and sweep the suicide mozzies into a bag and safely dispose.

Not good advice for pattaya residents though...!!

Have you ordered your MozzieBan yet Totster?

I ordered mine last Thursday and it arrived yesterday ( good service or what?)

When I came into my office this morning there were 3 of the little Bastards in here.

They have all dissappeared now

Hmm... that is good service.... it's a plan...and a plan worth following !

totster

Have you ordered your MozzieBan yet Totster?

I ordered mine last Thursday and it arrived yesterday ( good service or what?)

When I came into my office this morning there were 3 of the little Bastards in here.

They have all dissappeared now

What's MozzieBan TP?

It's a little gadget powered by a single aa battery (looks like a small mobile phone) .

Just clip it on your belt or shirt (or leave on the table next to you) It emmits a high frequency noise that biting Mozzies don't like so the fukc off and leave you alone. Works for a range of 2 metres.

Costs about $20.

Let me know if you are interested I will pm you the address or you can check it out on the Mosquito thread that ran on General topics a couple of weeks ago.

Cheers

TP

PS. If everyone ordered one of these there would be no need for any more MOSQUITO threads

PPS I dont have shares in the Company, just trying to help people, I was given a bit of stick in the last forum about this gadget, its up to people themselves if they WANT to get bitten or not. This wee wonder definatley solves the problem

I remember those MozzieBan from about 20 years ago. A national testing centre made scientific tests with it proving it to be useless. Don't waste 800 baht on those things.

I remember those MozzieBan from about 20 years ago. A national testing centre made scientific tests with it proving it to be useless. Don't waste 800 baht on those things.

We've already been through this in another thread..

Don't hijack my thread.. go and discuss it here if you must http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...724&hl=mosquito

totster

Buy one Tot F... the naysayers.

Three days on, not a bite....normally at least 1 a day, I sit in my Missus restaurant and say dont bother with the Mozzie coil I am already protected !!

It WORKS

Buy one Tot F... the naysayers.

Three days on, not a bite....normally at least 1 a day, I sit in my Missus restaurant and say dont bother with the Mozzie coil I am already protected !!

It WORKS

So where can i buy one of these the TP? I cant be arsed to read through six pages ont the other thread, so a simple answer here and i can stop hijacking tots thread Got a website?

Im going to get about 10 of those things . Put them all around the house . I hate mosquitos with a passion . Really hate them when they bite my 8 month old .

Another thing I have learned here is that , you can't drown a mosquito with that bathroom sprayer no matter how hard you try . It only makes them mad and gets the bathroom all wet .

Buy one Tot F... the naysayers.

Three days on, not a bite....normally at least 1 a day, I sit in my Missus restaurant and say dont bother with the Mozzie coil I am already protected !!

It WORKS

So where can i buy one of these the TP? I cant be arsed to read through six pages ont the other thread, so a simple answer here and i can stop hijacking tots thread Got a website?

www.car-travel-games.co.uk

9 quid plus 3 for P&P

Well...

We have got the little buggers in the house now, as the bigguns must've been shagging. They are harder to get, and the lump after the suck is larger... some of the really small ones can fly between the electrifyed grid in the "bat".

Just this morning one got me though my jeans... THROUGH MY JEANS... unbelievable !

I also got bit on the nose at some point yesterday.... not funny !

totster

Spay is the answer, yes it stinks but it is a very good way of killing all mozzies in one room...not just the ones that you are lucky to kill with the tennis zapper.

I find that the average Isaan mozzie will be dead within 10 mins of spraying any room with the "Mortein" brand spray. The best one is in the yellow can with a red label on the front.

Just spray your bathroom 10 mins before you use it, then you can go in and wash the dead mozzies down the plughole 10 mins later.

Spay is the answer, .

I would have thought neutering would be a very delicate and difficult operation on a mosquito. You would have to perform it on a lot of the bastards to make a difference.

Spay is the answer, .

I would have thought neutering would be a very delicate and difficult operation on a mosquito. You would have to perform it on a lot of the bastards to make a difference.

I hear that samuris are very skilled at this art........

Spay is the answer, .

I would have thought neutering would be a very delicate and difficult operation on a mosquito. You would have to perform it on a lot of the bastards to make a difference.

Only the females.

Just this morning one got me though my jeans... THROUGH MY JEANS... unbelievable !

bemused silence

I also got bit on the nose at some point yesterday.... not funny !

Are you kidding ?of course it's funny

Spay is the answer, .

I would have thought neutering would be a very delicate and difficult operation on a mosquito. You would have to perform it on a lot of the bastards to make a difference.

Only the females.

Yes, but if you get the males, the lady mozzies can't get up the duff.

too late to edit now!

Buy one Tot F... the naysayers.

Three days on, not a bite....normally at least 1 a day, I sit in my Missus restaurant and say dont bother with the Mozzie coil I am already protected !!

It WORKS

So where can i buy one of these the TP? I cant be arsed to read through six pages ont the other thread, so a simple answer here and i can stop hijacking tots thread Got a website?

www.car-travel-games.co.uk

9 quid plus 3 for P&P

Nice one cheers TP

Spay is the answer, .

I would have thought neutering would be a very delicate and difficult operation on a mosquito. You would have to perform it on a lot of the bastards to make a difference.

Only the females.

I heard that it's only the female mosquito's that suck the blood .....

Spay is the answer, .

I would have thought neutering would be a very delicate and difficult operation on a mosquito. You would have to perform it on a lot of the bastards to make a difference.

Only the females.

I heard that it's only the female mosquito's that suck the blood .....

It is indeed, after thay have emptied your wallet, and taken the shirt off your back

Nice one DB

Word of warning... slap on the lotion all over and they will still get you on the soles of your feet..

totster

It sounds like you're have a hard time of it up in Kalasin Totster...

It sounds like you're have a hard time of it up in Kalasin Totster...

Nah not really .. it's great 'ere... the mossie thing is more of a game

totster