House Proud............... Yes Or No ?

[thequietman]

Hi guys,

I have always been brought up to look after what I have. It has stood me in good stead.

My question............... are thais house proud ?

I see it everyday, in every village. new house, shining, newly painted, new furniture, everything shining.

Party commences, people come, face is saved and people leave.

6 months in, 2 years in and the house and property looks like crap. nobody will paint it, the gardens over grown and the once pretty 'face' house and property is no more.

I asked....... why ? response was, why worry. i can't make money from tending the garden or painting the walls, so why bother.

Now, don't get me wrong, I commend the thinking behind this. what is the point in getting upset or annoyed about such trivial things as this. sit back, relax, let the day go by. I agree................ however,

when a thai wife asks for pretty things and a nice home and garden but is unwilling to do the simplest thing like cleaning it herself as there is no financial incentive to do it............... then it bothers me.

do you find that thai people want the best in life but are unwilling to maintain it ?

from homes to gardens, to their pets, it seems there is an unwillingness to look after it after you have it.

any similar experiences ?

[transam]

I know what you mean. Because folk never had it they want it. When they've got it it means nothing.

I know a lady married to a rich guy that live in a HUGE house that she wants another room built on .

Why l ask. Husband has told her nicely to FO, but the question is why. BUT, it is because they or she can, but she employs folk to clean the place.

Edited September 27, 2012 by transam

[norrona]

their response is normally 'just buy new one' in my experience.....

I was brought up in a frugal house but see my father and mother work hard for everything they had, there was no dad watching me at school sports day or to take me fishing, he was out working...but if I got a bike or a new pair of trainers and I wasn't looking after it then they would certainly say something and I am like them now...

my experience I am married for 2 years nearly now we live in the UK and every now and then I go through the same thing, show some respect for the home, clean up your shit and tidy up after yourself....I just got back from a business trip and walked through the door of our 2 bed flat...walked into the kitchen and a pot of the most rancid fish gut curry was sitting on the stove with the lid off.....in my rant I said to her I thought someone had taken a dump on the floor, I could rant more but want to hear others experiences first....

[transam]

their response is normally 'just buy new one' in my experience.....

I was brought up in a frugal house but see my father and mother work hard for everything they had, there was no dad watching me at school sports day or to take me fishing, he was out working...but if I got a bike or a new pair of trainers and I wasn't looking after it then they would certainly say something and I am like them now...

my experience I am married for 2 years nearly now we live in the UK and every now and then I go through the same thing, show some respect for the home, clean up your shit and tidy up after yourself....I just got back from a business trip and walked through the door of our 2 bed flat...walked into the kitchen and a pot of the most rancid fish gut curry was sitting on the stove with the lid off.....in my rant I said to her I thought someone had taken a dump on the floor, I could rant more but want to hear others experiences first....

It's a big learning curve, for you and her.

[thequietman]

their response is normally 'just buy new one' in my experience.....

I was brought up in a frugal house but see my father and mother work hard for everything they had, there was no dad watching me at school sports day or to take me fishing, he was out working...but if I got a bike or a new pair of trainers and I wasn't looking after it then they would certainly say something and I am like them now...

my experience I am married for 2 years nearly now we live in the UK and every now and then I go through the same thing, show some respect for the home, clean up your shit and tidy up after yourself....I just got back from a business trip and walked through the door of our 2 bed flat...walked into the kitchen and a pot of the most rancid fish gut curry was sitting on the stove with the lid off.....in my rant I said to her I thought someone had taken a dump on the floor, I could rant more but want to hear others experiences first....

It's a big learning curve, for you and her.

yes, but can you explain the rationale behind it ? it bothers me........ it really does.

[transam]

their response is normally 'just buy new one' in my experience.....

I was brought up in a frugal house but see my father and mother work hard for everything they had, there was no dad watching me at school sports day or to take me fishing, he was out working...but if I got a bike or a new pair of trainers and I wasn't looking after it then they would certainly say something and I am like them now...

my experience I am married for 2 years nearly now we live in the UK and every now and then I go through the same thing, show some respect for the home, clean up your shit and tidy up after yourself....I just got back from a business trip and walked through the door of our 2 bed flat...walked into the kitchen and a pot of the most rancid fish gut curry was sitting on the stove with the lid off.....in my rant I said to her I thought someone had taken a dump on the floor, I could rant more but want to hear others experiences first....

It's a big learning curve, for you and her.

yes, but can you explain the rationale behind it ? it bothers me........ it really does.

Weeeell, I/we have a nice place, nice furniture, big TV, karaoke stuff, 3 toilets etc, all perfect, BUT, my mrs has a wash machine room that is a tip, she cannot get away from her poor family background in a small way. She in herself is immaculate in every way, BUT, this crap corner is part of her unforgotten life.

[norrona]

their response is normally 'just buy new one' in my experience.....

I was brought up in a frugal house but see my father and mother work hard for everything they had, there was no dad watching me at school sports day or to take me fishing, he was out working...but if I got a bike or a new pair of trainers and I wasn't looking after it then they would certainly say something and I am like them now...

my experience I am married for 2 years nearly now we live in the UK and every now and then I go through the same thing, show some respect for the home, clean up your shit and tidy up after yourself....I just got back from a business trip and walked through the door of our 2 bed flat...walked into the kitchen and a pot of the most rancid fish gut curry was sitting on the stove with the lid off.....in my rant I said to her I thought someone had taken a dump on the floor, I could rant more but want to hear others experiences first....

It's a big learning curve, for you and her.

I have been far too lenient but all that's gonna change, i remember when i lived in thailand and see places after they had been supposedly cleaned by 'maids' it was very half arsed....before anyone gets offended i know some thai ladies who have taken the western approach and are very house proud and take care of things

[kurnell]

In our mooban 80% of people still take good care of their house after 5 years. 10% are rented out. 5% abandoned and overgrown. 5% seem to be lived in and the owners take no care of the house and it looks like crap.

[arthurwait]

My best Thai mate built his house and for several years it was immaculate. His wife said he got on her nerves a bit with how much of a clean freak he was. Then they had their first kid.

Now the dust is thick and there's stuff everywhere.

In my experience old Thai people are either just interested in work and there business and spend all their time on that or they like to relax . Cleaning DIY isn't a priority for them.

The children either stay at home and carry on the lifestyle around the home. Or there's the ones who do want to change things , but the parents won't let them throw anything out and modernise. Or there's the ones who do leave the house and adopt a modern lifestyle and have very clean maintained houses.

Plus of course there is so many Thais working 12 hours a day 6 or 7 days a week and are just too plain tired to do anything else along with not being able to afford anything to maintain the property anyway.

And most the property being rented (in the cities anyway) it's down to the landlord to do the maintaining anyway.

Edited September 27, 2012 by arthurwait

[sotsira]

A house in the western ideology is an investment that over a period of time

if maintained properly will gain in value considerably.

In Thai ideology it's just a place to live in with no consideration of an investment

or long life span, as most houses are only built to last 20-25 years.

[Trembly]

A lot of Thai houses are so poorly constructed that it's an exercise in futility to try to stop them from looking tatty after only a few years. You could clean the bejeezes out of it and it would still look like a ruin.

Edited September 27, 2012 by Trembly

[seasia]

Almost the opposite, my Thai gf keeps the place we live in very clean and tidy.

If anything, too much so.

It`s a rental, if that makes any difference.

Guess just wants somewhere comfortable to live.

[villagefarang]

After five years our house is still immaculate. I guess it depends on who you marry. Our condo was the same for the ten years previous.

[mania]

I am sure it does not apply across the board.

I never changed anything about my wife & she has always been a neat person.

I like that as I am pretty organized & take care of my things too.

Although there are times like when we go to visit her folks that I feel a little

worried. My wife gets there & within 10 minutes is busy scrubbing & cleaning everything

from top to bottom. I always worry & say to my wife that maybe her mother & sister who lives next door might get the wrong

idea. I don't want to make them feel like their house is not clean enough etc.

After all it is their house.

My wife always just tells me don't be silly this is my mother & I am just helping.

So I just go back to sitting outside with her dad

Edited September 27, 2012 by mania

[thenervoussurgeon]

My wife is for ever cleaning and doing the garden ,so does my friends wife in the next street ,our neighbours who i would class as quite wealthy are uncaring as is another neighbour ,perhaps its because they have young kids ,who can tell ,but it does amaze me how scruffy some quite expensive houses get

[Scully]

My ex was an obsessive cleaner, soon as an empty coffee cup hit the table it would be cleaned. All Thai women are not the same though believe it or not.

I have had a few lazy girlfriends in the UK too.

[cheeryble]

Back in England my brother in law has always had lots of energy and one would see him cleaning the street outside the house and so on always ready to pick up a broom.

I rebuilt a house and he and my sister visited one day. I was chatting with sis and then I noticed Colin had not only swept outside but was down the road twenty yards sweeping away. "hey Colin", I called. "Thanks, but you don't need to do that."

I never forget his reply.....it means a great deal to me and almost makes me shudder with affection:

He said "this is your Shangri-la mate".

Edited September 27, 2012 by cheeryble

[pattayadingo]

From some who have had to work hard and struggle to get their new house I have seen them keep the place very clean, tidy and cared for.

Others do not seem to take the same amount of care, maybe because they did not struggle to buy the place?

[bina]

depending on from where your thai partners come from cleanilnes is not seen in all eyes as the same.

ifu live in an open wooden farm issaan style house/shack, where the walls are open at the top, and everything is wood, the ceilings tend to leak, and people dont own a lot of stuff, then u would realize that stuff is just to be used as functional (and the decorative stuff stays in plastic wrap in cabinets).

as hubby says, up til about ten years ago, most stuff in villages was made of decomposable stuff, or wood, or u used what u had and made do, so 'things' didnt have muchvalue. only gold, buddha images, have value. trying to find documents in in laws hut was amazing. no one knew where the papers were. but a clean swept front yard, food ready to eat, rice in the pot, that was the housekeeping. almost impossible to keep spiders and other animals out of an open house, impossible to wash floors or sweep a wooden upstairs sleeping area, and no need to clean the kitchen when it is /was outside in the yard. dishes few, and cheap tin or nowadays plastic (my gripe since hubby breaks dishes by the dozen so now, we too, have plastic in the kitchen); thngs that are maintained: animals that work, fightiing chickens, fishing nets, traps, pillows (the fancy types)...

and hi/so and upper middle class thais probably had servants / and lower class/working/poor live/ed in crowded areas, work long long days, most days a week, so no time to sit around and polish the silver.

i think also that in thailand houses are not investments but meant to be family abodes, that stay in the family as a place to take shelter and prepare food. not meant as 'might be sold in the future'. also stuff in the tropics seems to fall apart faster, get moldier, termites, whatever.

[silverb]

When I was married my now ex-wife was awful at keeping the place clean and tidy. In fact she NEVER did any house work. After questioning her on this, her reply was " I go to work, I can't work and do housework".

Based on that logic the house would never be cleaned! As I like to have a clean and tidy place I used to do all the housework.

[Travel2003]

It is so clean and tidy in our house, anyone visiting notices.

My wife is extremely proud of the house (and the previous apartment as well), she is up with the sun to start cleaning (dusting, washing, etc).

I have told her to calm down and maybe we can hire someone to help.

After all, she is my wife, not my maid.

She doesn't want to spend money on someone when she can do it herself.

I called her Monica, after a character in the sitcom Friends (she knows it), and she laughed and took it as a compliment.

[bkkjames]

My wife's idea of tidying up is moving a bunch of old receipts from one counter to another.

[cooked]

Is this a Thai question? I've seen the same mentality all over the place - some villages in France haven't seen any paint for sincethe war.

[Chittychangchang]

All of the above.

[giddyup]

My Thai lady is extremely house proud and keeps the place immaculate. She is either cleaning, cooking or working in the garden. I've offered to pay for some extra help but she won't hear of it, says she doesn't trust anyone else to do a good job.

[mjj]

I would say its about setting rules for farangs and their wives. For me I said to my wife that if we are going to be serious living together, the house must be clean. This is not me telling her she had to tidy up after me as I have always had my living accommodation tidy when I was living alone.

That said, it does suprise me going into some people's houses and seeing the thick layers of dust.

About a year ago I went to a colleagues newly build house. Very nice house it was too. He asked me if I would like a drink, which I accepted. Then I watched him pick up a glass from the table that had been used by another guest, look inside, run his finger around the rim and pour me my drink. Classy!

[uptheos]

After all, she is my wife, not my maid.

She doesn't want to spend money on someone when she can do it herself.

Sounds like she's more farang than you.

I was cleaning out the attic the other day with the wife. Dirty, filthy and covered in cobwebs.....................but she's a great cook.

Edited September 28, 2012 by uptheos

[chiangmaikelly]

I live with a clean freak. She can't go to bed with one spec of dirt anywhere. She works 12 hours a day and then comes home and starts cleaning and cooking. She just bought us a new house of which she is very proud.

I grew up on a sailboat and she bought us light house lamps and sailing paintings so I would feel at home. I bought stuffed leather furniture; not Thai looking but comfortable. The new puppy is driving her nuts because it is a four legged mess machine.

[robblok]

Here in the village most people keep the house good, some don't but certainly not a majority.

I live mostly alone as the gf is a guide, that means i have to clean. Can't get a maid because we keep 2 bangkaew dogs that are our home security system. Everyone is affraid of them but if word gets out they are actually quite nice and easy to befriend that advantage is gone.

I am not the most clean guy alive, so i usually wait for her to return home after a while and do the cleaning. I do keep the kitchen real clean as i cook a lot. Do laundry when i have to but things like vacuum cleaning and mopping make me crazy.

[David006]

Yes and maybe no...some farangs are happy to live in tips..me... if I want something clean and tidy I do it myself..not that the wife is lazy but she views priorities differently..not a problem..me retired and nothing else to do.

Think Thais are sometimes big face as far a houses are concerned..( CORINTHIAN PILLARS AND WHATNOT?) wife cleans sweeps etc etc when we have visitors..not an issue for me. We are in the middle of no place so nobody sees our dwelling.

Retired and happy ....I accept it ,this is Thailand