How To Prevent Horny Tourists From Hitting On My Girlfriend?

[SteeleJoe]

Heh.. I didn't notice because we haven't had any tourists yet Maybe 1 every month at the most come in here in low season. She was talking about the last high season. She actually said sometimes if she couldn't get a guy to leave she would say her dad is her husband. Now that I'm here I have a feeling things will progress from boyfriend to husband on a few occasions...

As someone who -- a long time ago -- ran bars and clubs, who had a restaurant where his beautiful GF (now beautiful wife) worked, who has been here a long time and thinks this story sounds like it might not be what you think it is, I have a few things I could say about this but in fact I think it's all been covered.

But I have to comment on the above:

She had to say her dad was her husband?! Telling someone 1) "sorry, I'm not interested" and 2) "my dad's right there" didn't suffice?

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Edited October 9, 2012 by SteeleJoe

[brewsterbudgen]

Look in the mirror. If you respected her you would not go to her place of work, period, stop, end.

Indeed.

She dealt with it before you arrived, she'll deal with it once you've gone home.

I suspect her real cause of embarrassment is you hanging around her place of work watching her all the time. Find another way to spend your evenings.

You're obviously unable to read. Her "place of work" is her family's restaurant, which is where we both live. If she didn't want me around she wouldn't be my girlfriend.

Anyway, enough for me. Thanks to everyone who helped.

She works there, but do you? Even if she's your girlfriend do you need to be with her all day while she works?

[gray42]

Being friendly and cute is good for business.

Could it be she is being nice to you so they can rent the room in the low season?

They don't charge me for rent now that she's my girlfriend.

[Konini]

Should have said in my earlier post - I was pretty much brought up behind the bar of Working Men's Clubs in north east England. Smile and be friendly to the customers was a given. No matter what, put on the slap, do your hair and paint on your smile and talk nicely to the paying customers. It's all part of the job and why you rarely see ugly barmaids. I know it's not the same as the situation here in Thailand, but the principle is the same. People go to the bar, pub or club to escape, not to have some sourfaced hag ignore you. If they wanted that they'd buy beer from the shop and drink at home. Totally against all feminist and probably moral beliefs, but it's true, and I can't see anyone being able to argue me down on this one.

One evening I walked into my local pub in Jersey....I was the first to arrive as usual .

Anyway the old witch of a barmaid had strung up a noose from the ceiling...and barked at me that she was having a bad day and the first to annoy her was getting a long drop.

Great barmaid bless her!

We all know that anyone from further south than Middlesboro are a peculiar lot. Even the Smoggies are a strange bunch.

[thehelmsman]

I liked the playground analogy - very good. And, the OP did come back to play.

[Rob8891]

For the sake of my girlfriend's dignity, and for those of you who can't read, this is a family owned restaurant and bungalows. There are no bar girls here, my girlfriend will not come sit with you for money, she would never go home with a customer, and she does not dress sexy. I live in a bungalow here. My girlfriend and I do not stay in the same house together. I'm interested in having a good relationship. There's some seriously disrespectful people here.

"For the sake of your girlfriend's dignity" you should never have posted about her in TV . It's like throwing Bambi to ravenous wolves.

[gray42]

For the sake of my girlfriend's dignity, and for those of you who can't read, this is a family owned restaurant and bungalows. There are no bar girls here, my girlfriend will not come sit with you for money, she would never go home with a customer, and she does not dress sexy. I live in a bungalow here. My girlfriend and I do not stay in the same house together. I'm interested in having a good relationship. There's some seriously disrespectful people here.

"For the sake of your girlfriend's dignity" you should never have posted about her in TV . It's like throwing Bambi to ravenous wolves.

Lesson learned

[pauljones]

Being friendly and cute is good for business.

Could it be she is being nice to you so they can rent the room in the low season?

They don't charge me for rent now that she's my girlfriend.

The Thais gave you a free bungalow?

Now I know this story is complete BS.

[noob7]

Teach her following sentences:

'Think, I (and you) shouldn't do that. My future husband is the local Muay Thai Champ. a little bit to jealous, anyway. And we need our customers!'

With a friendly smile, there is a chance, that this will stop them.

But you know, it will lower her tips, too!

Usually, a bar working girl, that only works serving drinks/food, should be able to handle it.

I think, there is a big chance, you feel more in trouble with this, than she is!

[Konini]

if it is indeed a family business where by the mother and brother are present then what is the worry, surely it is all just harmless fun and conversation?

If she starts being frosty to those who are friendly and like to talk to her then perhaps they won't be repeat customers?

But really you hanging about all day with no agenda and always looking out the corner of your eye I personally think could ruin their business and most of all your relationship, it's just not healthy!

Sorry to the OP, but I have to agree with norrona. When I got older, I hated it when boyfriends would turn up while I was working. You have to have a good or even flirtatious personality to work behind a bar, your job is to keep the customer entertained and coming back to put more money into the cash register. More so if you're not the paid barmaid, but part of the family that makes the money. There was no harm in it, nothing serious, just enjoyable and sometimes flirtatious banter. Boyfriends did NOT like to see this, so I always discouraged them from being around when I was working. I never cheated on anyone, but I could see how it must have looked from their side so tried to keep them out of the way.

[DrTuner]

If she's got the vocal register, she could try lowering her voice for the "Hello hundsum" in deep bass. Although that'd backfire again if the tourists are German.

[gray42]

Being friendly and cute is good for business.

Could it be she is being nice to you so they can rent the room in the low season?

They don't charge me for rent now that she's my girlfriend.

The Thais gave you a free bungalow?

Now I know this story is complete BS.

Jing jing.

[Semper]

Look in the mirror. If you respected her you would not go to her place of work, period, stop, end.

Indeed.

She dealt with it before you arrived, she'll deal with it once you've gone home.

I suspect her real cause of embarrassment is you hanging around her place of work watching her all the time. Find another way to spend your evenings.

You're obviously unable to read. Her "place of work" is her family's restaurant, which is where we both live. If she didn't want me around she wouldn't be my girlfriend.

Anyway, enough for me. Thanks to everyone who helped.

She works there, but do you? Even if she's your girlfriend do you need to be with her all day while she works?

Well, they have only been together 4 months, ie. very much in love. Give it a few years and he would be happy not to be with her 24/7.

[eek]

Sorry but it is obvious that your gf is enjoying the conversations and having the horny tourists hit on her. if she wasn't, she would simply not work in the bar and she would change her body language towards the horny men she enjoys talking with.

I'm sure she enjoys it. I enjoy it when Thai girls hit on me, so I can't blame her.

Then take off your jealous hat and let her enjoy herself.

You probably didn't read all my replies, but what I said a couple times is she asked for my help with this. Her talking to other guys isn't a problem. Her being uncomfortable with someone talking to her too much is a problem, but it seems like the best advice is she's just gotta deal with it herself as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

I worked in a restaurant bar when a student, and after about 6 months, i left the job. I actually liked a lot about my job, it was an upmarket restaurant with a handful of tables, and most customers were couple thankfully and not guys on the make. But even so, being fairly shy, the discomfort i felt when guys were came on to me, had me realise i just wasnt cut out for it. I took a job at a womans designer concession after that instead, dealing only with women.

Your girlfriend is either going to have to find a way around this, or find a different kind of job.

She could try being busy all the time with something (even if made-up), or, as others suggested a more managerial role with other girls under her.

If she really cant find a way around it that makes her comfortable, then what other skills does she have?..because maybe a different job and you employ someone else for her role.

Being able to flirt is actually beneficial for bringing in customers and money (if mainly a male clientele) . If i had a restaurant i would want girls who were good at buttering up the punters.

If she hates it, find someone else, and she can bring in money another way.

But you need to work out if your jealousy is playing a part in this or not too.

[Ohyesuare]

If she has a brother or male cousin etc working in the restaurant as well, tell her to go hug him when a guy is relentlessly hitting on her. A lot of male foreigners are afraid of Thai men and they wouldn't dare hit on her after that.

[eek]

Being friendly and cute is good for business.

Could it be she is being nice to you so they can rent the room in the low season?

They don't charge me for rent now that she's my girlfriend.

The Thais gave you a free bungalow?

Now I know this story is complete BS.

..thats pretty sad if your experience of Thai people would have you think that.

There are many kind and generous Thai people.

[Vale Tudo]

Being friendly and cute is good for business.

Could it be she is being nice to you so they can rent the room in the low season?

They don't charge me for rent now that she's my girlfriend.

So you pay no rent and have no job,as you watch your girlfriend like a hawk every day,all day?

Interesting and you wonder why she doesn't sleep with you,do you think maybe she's trying to give you the old 'Spanish Archer'?

[gray42]

Being friendly and cute is good for business.

Could it be she is being nice to you so they can rent the room in the low season?

They don't charge me for rent now that she's my girlfriend.

So you pay no rent and have no job,as you watch your girlfriend like a hawk every day,all day?

Interesting and you wonder why she doesn't sleep with you,do you think maybe she's trying to give you the old 'Spanish Archer'?

I don't watch her like a hawk. She asked me to help her at the bar to keep guys from hitting on her too much.

[Chittychangchang]

She's obviously a natural at her job and it won't take her long to realise it.

My advice to you is to marry her quick before someone else does.

The sexpats/ tourists can spot a new hottie a mile off, not some gold draped, tattoed veteran.

She'll eventually wake up and smell the roses and not some falang living rent free with her.

Sorry for being brutally honest.

[stiggy]

How old are you both?

[SteeleJoe]

Being friendly and cute is good for business.

Could it be she is being nice to you so they can rent the room in the low season?

They don't charge me for rent now that she's my girlfriend.

So you pay no rent and have no job,as you watch your girlfriend like a hawk every day,all day?

Interesting and you wonder why she doesn't sleep with you,do you think maybe she's trying to give you the old 'Spanish Archer'?

I don't watch her like a hawk. She asked me to help her at the bar to keep guys from hitting on her too much.

Really?! (Maybe I'm mis recollecting; is this the first time you've said that?)

She's getting hit on so much and so dislikes it that she has her boyfriend around to (by means that neither she nor he have worked out) discourage it. Where are her brother and father in all this?

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EDIT TO ADD: Ignore the first question -- I see that you did already say that.

Edited October 9, 2012 by SteeleJoe

[soi41]

Being friendly and cute is good for business.

Could it be she is being nice to you so they can rent the room in the low season?

They don't charge me for rent now that she's my girlfriend.

Yeah sure, and her uncle is the Minister of Interior, and next week he is going to fix your Permanent Recidency!

[thaibeachlovers]

Do you have a work permit to be working as your GF's bodyguard?

In my opinion, there isn't a good looking woman around that can't deal with unwanted attention if she WANTS to avoid it.

Perhaps you should take Trini Lopez's advice "never make a pretty woman your wife........................" or in your case GF.

[DrTuner]

She could make red spots on the face with lipstick and use a hacking cough to keep customers in check. Apart from a small section of perverts who go with the old "If they cough, they ain't charlie" - rules, should work.

[somtumlion]

I have made some crass, cash offers to non working girls, got turned down but was surprised they took it as a compliment. Get her to wear these fake-teeth-b-bob-jethro-28021-sml.jpg

Shocked by that Paul, really really shocked...

[smokie36]

This thread has a comforting bovine innocence.

[SteeleJoe]

This thread has a comforting bovine innocence.

Hah!

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[Beetlejuice]

I had this problem with an ex boyfriend of mine. I worked in a bar in the UK and guys would get drunk and hit on me. My boyfriend didn't actually work in the bar but he did voice his concerns about guys hitting on me.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to whether you trust your girlfriend or not. Guys may look and stare at a woman but its whether she reels them in - that's the key. When a guy hit on me when I was serving drinks, I wasn't impolite. I would smile and be flattered but that's it, it ended there. You have to remember that if you put yourself in a woman's shoes... She cannot stop doing her job just because someone is flirting. It would be bad for business. Unless you hire and pay someone else to work in the bar in her place so she is not so much in the public limelight but if you was to do something like that to me I would see you as very controlling and I would be wary. (She might be fine with it but I like to make my own decisions)

If you trust her, you should be able to smile and be flattered that people find your girlfriend hot. Your jealousy is your own problem, not anyone else..

Absolutely spot on.

If the girlfriend is the type who enjoys the attentions of guys, customers or not, than the OP has a problem.

It`s up to her to send out the message that there are limits to her friendliness and if the OP feels that he has to compete with other guys who may take a fancy to her and she is the type who will play they’re games, than it`s time to find another girlfriend.

Edited October 9, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[poanoi]

Why do you bother ?

[jvs]

Easy to fix if she wants to,when a guy is coming on too much let her ask him where he is from and when he answers she should just say,hey my husband is taking me there next month!