How Much Of An Age Gap Is Too Much?

[payak]

if people get defensive the gap may be to great, shows a complex regarding the issue.

if you have or had a daughter, what age would you be comfortable with regarding her partner, there you will find your answer.

[robblok]

I'm curious about somethig the age gap arbiters can perhaps help me with: does the correct or acceptable gap remain constant regardless of respective ages?

Example:

Is a 31 year old allowed to be with a 20 year old?

How about a 50 year old with a 39 year old?

Both examples are fine in my book though i must say the first example would have more problems in a serious relationship as thai girls mature late. Many at 20 are not real mature.

I believe there is even a formula for it seen it here once.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect App

My question wasn't meant for someone as sensible as you! (I was really hoping that someone like the OP or the guy who thinks he has an idea of the age gap between me and my missus would opine. And my question wasn't actually sincere -- I don't need anyone's input on that).

Anyway, I think as a general rule, you are probably right. But you are smart enough to use the word "many". What if the first example, 20 years later, became the second? Would the concerns about maturity be lessened?

And (for those who seem to care about who is or isn't truly in love) what if the 31yo had virtually nothing to offer in terms of financial gain and if the 20yo initially supported him stuck with him over years of hard times and with zero assurance of any future financial comfort? Could it possibly be "true love"?

Im not oftrn called sensible on this subject. Anyway i don't believe in absolutes, there is always a chance something is genuine but im a realist too often at large gaps its not but i have seen where it is.

And yes in 20 years things would have changed. Fact does remain with the real large gaps people are often in different phases of their life that can make it reAl hard if you want a genuine relation. Questions like will she still like me if she has to take care of me are relevant then.

Im not talking about the relationship s whete both know its financial and the guy just want a good sexy partner for fun. Knowing he can stop it at any time and take a new younger one or where she can leave for a better offer.

Anyway we all must do what we want. Just dont bash thai girls if it goes wrong. I made a mistake once with only my naivity to blame.

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[MAJIC]

How Much Of An Age Gap Is Too Much?

It's their life,and their choice, so wouldn't that question be best answered by the couple concerned?

[endure]

If more than a fifty year difference, it might not be true love.

Even though the man is very hansum?

[payak]

How Much Of An Age Gap Is Too Much?

It's their life,and their choice, so wouldn't that question be best answered by the couple concerned?

it would be and will be.

but oppinions are allowed,thats why we have forums, our thoughts will not change a thing but we can and do share them.

[payak]

If more than a fifty year difference, it might not be true love.

Even though the man is very hansum?

the elephant man is hansum when his pockets are full, brad pitt is ugly here when there empty.

unless its love they have.

[NanLaew]

How Much Of An Age Gap Is Too Much?

It's their life,and their choice, so wouldn't that question be best answered by the couple concerned?

it would be and will be.

but oppinions are allowed,thats why we have forums, our thoughts will not change a thing but we can and do share them.

... ad nauseum. On this so-called 'topic' anyway.

[MAJIC]

How Much Of An Age Gap Is Too Much?

It's their life,and their choice, so wouldn't that question be best answered by the couple concerned?

it would be and will be.

but oppinions are allowed,thats why we have forums, our thoughts will not change a thing but we can and do share them.

Let's hope that will be the case and not the usual thought Police,telling people how they should conduct their lives,to suit the narrow minded bigots!

[cheechoo]

dont be so negative.....................lol.

i just saw a grils apt. and i was shocked to see posters of 70+ uk balding, obese , no hair, drooling , men with their heart medication and pension checks in their wrinky hands all over the apt. there was like 7 posters in all..............lol.

[Seismic]

Its funny, for the first 15 years I visited Thailand, all the girls I spent time with were older than me, granted by no more that 10 years. But as I got older it seemed to reverse a little, I married a girl only two years older than me, and after we split up 15 years later I married a girl 12 years younger than me and we are pretty happy, although I have to say she is (on an intellectual level) much closer.

I dont really believe there is any age gap that is too much, I have seen people happily married with a 30 year difference and I have seen relationships disintegrate when the gap was 1-2 years.

[SteeleJoe]

if people get defensive the gap may be to great, shows a complex regarding the issue.

if you have or had a daughter, what age would you be comfortable with regarding her partner, there you will find your answer.

Why not be specific and answer the question? You felt confident to make a comment about me and my partner despite knowing nothing about us, why pussyfoot around now?

As for people being defensive and why, I think you are right. What about people who aren't defensive but just offended by other people thinking it's their business to judge other people's relationships?

My daughter is a toddler and I really couldn't say but I'm confident that I'd not be so hypocritical as to feel any discomfort if she, like her mother, were 11 years younger than her partner. (Just as I'm not bothered by the fact that my mother is 13 years younger than my stepfather).

[SteeleJoe]

I'm curious about somethig the age gap arbiters can perhaps help me with: does the correct or acceptable gap remain constant regardless of respective ages?

Example:

Is a 31 year old allowed to be with a 20 year old?

How about a 50 year old with a 39 year old?

Both examples are fine in my book though i must say the first example would have more problems in a serious relationship as thai girls mature late. Many at 20 are not real mature.

I believe there is even a formula for it seen it here once.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect App

My question wasn't meant for someone as sensible as you! (I was really hoping that someone like the OP or the guy who thinks he has an idea of the age gap between me and my missus would opine. And my question wasn't actually sincere -- I don't need anyone's input on that).

Anyway, I think as a general rule, you are probably right. But you are smart enough to use the word "many". What if the first example, 20 years later, became the second? Would the concerns about maturity be lessened?

And (for those who seem to care about who is or isn't truly in love) what if the 31yo had virtually nothing to offer in terms of financial gain and if the 20yo initially supported him stuck with him over years of hard times and with zero assurance of any future financial comfort? Could it possibly be "true love"?

Im not oftrn called sensible on this subject. Anyway i don't believe in absolutes, there is always a chance something is genuine but im a realist too often at large gaps its not but i have seen where it is.

And yes in 20 years things would have changed. Fact does remain with the real large gaps people are often in different phases of their life that can make it reAl hard if you want a genuine relation. Questions like will she still like me if she has to take care of me are relevant then.

Im not talking about the relationship s whete both know its financial and the guy just want a good sexy partner for fun. Knowing he can stop it at any time and take a new younger one or where she can leave for a better offer.

Anyway we all must do what we want. Just dont bash thai girls if it goes wrong. I made a mistake once with only my naivity to blame.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect App

I think you've possibly misunderstood me but I was being deliberately misleading, I guess. The 20yo and 31yo were me and my wife. The 39yo and 50yo are also me and (the same) wife.

You are absolutely right about different phases though. Logic would dictate that it is generally so.

[cbrer]

When I was 17 I gave myself up to a 27 year old.

But she was really drunk.

Still, that's too much, that would have been like me doing a 7 year old going by some guy's logic, so it has to be less than 10 years.

[SteeleJoe]

If more than a fifty year difference, it might not be true love.

Even though the man is very hansum?

the elephant man is hansum when his pockets are full, brad pitt is ugly here when there empty.

unless its love they have.

Even as a joke it's totally wrong: a good looking guy -- like anywhere -- will still be attractive to women here even if he has no money. If he's young and charming? Even more so. (At least I doubt that's changed).

[fletchsmile]

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your informative post about the appropriate ages for people getting married. We've been happily married for several years. Please accept our sincerest apologies, but in our happiness, we seem to have overlooked the need for someone to vet the age gap between us before we got married. We thought as two mature adults our love and mutual consent might suffice. Unfortunately we now realize the error of our ways. If we send you our details, will you check to see if it's OK and we conform or if it would be better for us to split up at once?

We also have two lovely children with a gap of 2 years and 4 months between them. Do you think that gap is also appropriate? Or should we put one or both up for adoption? What should we do with them in the event you recommend our age gap is too large and we should split up?

Thank you in anticipation of your judgement and assessment of our lives.

Yours sincerely

Mr and Mrs Smile

[Banzai99]

If Hugh Hefners girlfriends were 25 years younger than him, they'd be over 60.

Hefner would probably say 60 years minimum difference in age is perfectly acceptable.

[Yahooka]

if people get defensive the gap may be to great, shows a complex regarding the issue.

if you have or had a daughter, what age would you be comfortable with regarding her partner, there you will find your answer.

My daughter would never date those who frequents thai forums ...................................

But for me personally I see the age gap less of a problem the older I get ................

[Gweiloman]

Some of you guys still believe in this thing called "love" and think this is the formula or recipe for living happily ever after?

The age gap is totally irrelevant. Heck, even real love is totally irrelevant for eternal happiness (sorry, religion's not the answer either). The only sure path to being totally happy is to be content with what you have, to realistically manage your expectations about life (depending on your looks, financial wealth and generosity) and to accept that sometimes, shit happens.

[stoneyboy]

Thailand the hub of age gap relationships.

[cdnvic]

I've known many couples with a large age gap who are perfectly happy. These couples don't fool themselves. They each know they and their partners are making a trade-off and accept it.

[skippybangkok]

If Hugh Hefners girlfriends were 25 years younger than him, they'd be over 60.

Hefner would probably say 60 years minimum difference in age is perfectly acceptable.

And they are in it for love !

[pattayadingo]

If more than a fifty year difference, it might not be true love.

great im okay then,its only 49 years difference,

You're lucky, my missus is only 30 years older than me.

Not even a twinkle in your fathers eye yet?

[Zatoichi]

If you want to know if the age gap is too much simply take money out of the equation and see what happens. If everything is still cool then it's fine. If not, then well, you may have a age gap problem, or a hooker, or maybe both.

[cdnvic]

You could also say "Take the youth out of the equation" and see if the man stays. As I stated before, both sides are making trade-offs. If they both accept this and are happy with it, more power to them.

[endure]

No age gap is too much if the people in the relationship are happy together. It's the cynical sadsacks who go round criticising the relationships of people they know nothing about who ought to look in the mirror.

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

So which would you rather see a 21 year old guy with a 12 year old girl or a 75 year old with a 25 year old girl? I don't think you can pick a fixed age difference. Depends on the circumstances. By the way I don't think much of either of them but dislike child abuse most.

[nottocus]

If both are getting what they want then what's the problem. Others are just being judgmental busy-bodies.

[Mossfinn]

I've known many couples with a large age gap who are perfectly happy. These couples don't fool themselves. They each know they and their partners are making a trade-off and accept it.

I know a few married couples with a large age gap, who are very happy, the trade off, they are in love, no fooling themselves, or others there.

[Mossfinn]

So which would you rather see a 21 year old guy with a 12 year old girl or a 75 year old with a 25 year old girl? I don't think you can pick a fixed age difference. Depends on the circumstances. By the way I don't think much of either of them but dislike child abuse most.

A 75yo and a 25yo is not child abuse. You are right, you cannot fix an age difference, but you can fix a lower age limit.

[SeaVisionBurma]

Formula for the age gap

Woman's age = half the man's age + 7

And yes its just an old generalisation (before everyone cites examples to prove otherwise)

I kind of like it - plugging in any number gives something realistic.

Doesn't work for Hef though - and why should it. If I had that much money, I wouldn't give a stuff about maths.