Responding To Thais In Retail Who Diss You In Thai To A Coworker Right In Front Of You

[Jingthing]

OK, I speak a little Thai and I understand a little Thai but living in Pattaya I often don't bother revealing that and let new people just think I'm another tourist in commercial settings.

Recently I have been shopping for new shoes. I am usually picky when shopping for shoes especially around the issue of DO THEY FIT. So I admit I am not the easiest customer. I want the salespeople to actually HELP me, offering me sizing options so I can be confident enough that the size I do buy is the best I could have done.

Anyway, three times recently, just shopping like this, with money in pocket and ready to buy if I can be satisfied, Thai sales clerks have insulted me, right in front of me, laughing and joking about me to a workmate.

How to respond to this kind of rude behavior?

Now I know Thais have a different concept of rude than westerners, but even if a person DIDN'T understand enough of the language to know they were being dissed, just the WAY they are talking gives strong clues to an aware person.

Last night this happened, and rather than speak to them in Thai about it, which would not have been very effective as I am not fluent enough, I just looked hard in face of the clerk of the person who did it. The other clerk picking up there was an issue starting telling lies about what they were saying, silly things like if I buy one shoe I get another one for free.

Yes looking hard, long, and directly in the eyes of the rude clerk WAS a rather an aggressive stance to take. Any better suggestions on how to react? In this case, it made sense as this person had tried to physically PUSH me towards trying on a shoe about 5 times already (I wasn't ready for that as I was still perusing the styles).

Of course the obvious thing is NOT to buy from such rude people. Generally, I don't. But I really want to buy some new shoes so if I didn't buy from rude clerks, I might not ever have any new shoes!

Yes I fully understand that becoming fluent in Thai and approaching the clerks in Thai would change the dynamic. But this topic isn't about that. It's about what it's about. How the clerks tend to act if they don't think you understand any Thai.

Comments please (as if I have to ask).

Edited January 28, 2013 by Jingthing

[robblok]

I just make sure they know i understood them. I am not fluid but good enough to put them on tgeir place. Not as eloquent as i woud in Dutch or English.

Just letting them know you understand changes things.

[Jingthing]

I just make sure they know i understood them. I am not fluid but good enough to put them on tgeir place. Not as eloquent as i woud in Dutch or English.

Just letting them know you understand changes things.

Yes I do that sometimes but I thought the STARE got the same message across, that I had been offended by something she did and I doubt she wouldn't have gotten the connection. This case might have been different as the clerk was really over the top with her aggressive pushing. She actually deserved a good SLAP!

Another thing I kind of like about the STARE, which I am not saying is a good idea in all cases, is that they got this unpleasant reaction from someone they assume understands NO Thai. So imagine if a lot of people they didn't think understands Thai reacted to their insults that way. Is it possible they would learn that foreigners can pick up INSULT CUES even if they don't understand Thai? Probably optimistic, that thought.

Anyway, when this happens, I really don't want to buy from them anyway. It seems to me you're rewarding rudeness by buying at that point. Not saying I never do. Like I said, sometimes you just need stuff no matter what.

Edited January 28, 2013 by Jingthing

[robblok]

Thing is many clercs just want to sell what gives them the most commission. Some are hired by brands and will never sell you an other brand or tell you about it.

I do my research and then buy. I try not to rely on them.

[Jingthing]

Well that can depend on the product. There is nothing wrong with browsing in shops and seeing what's on offer. This clerk who PUSHES people wasn't new in business. I mean she really PUSHES with both hands, and kind of hard. So this is working for her. Scary.

Edited January 28, 2013 by Jingthing

[Payboy]

Recently I have been shopping for new shoes. I am usually picky when shopping for shoes especially around the issue of DO THEY FIT.

I've solved that problem by switching completely to flip flops.

Edited January 28, 2013 by Payboy

[Xangsamhua]

It's a good question. I don't remember having had this experience, but I would think a good hard sustained stare would be an appropriate response. It should certainly discomfort any but the most insensitive salesperson (though the one you encountered seemed to be particularly ignorant). Prime Minister Samakh used it effectively a few years ago when he was unhappy at the tone of some reporters' questions. It certainly shut them up.

[OxfordWill]

Be careful however, with a little understanding it is very easy to get the wrong jist of what is being said. Hell, even with a lot of understanding, it is easy to get the wrong message. Ive embarassed myself more than once taking a stance on something I thought I heard only to be proven wrong. Unless you are 100% positive, assume the best. Anything else is a waste of time. As is, quite frankly, being annoyed by someone whose job it is to sell shoes.

[Kilgore Trout]

OK, I speak a little Thai and I understand a little Thai but living in Pattaya I often don't bother revealing that and let new people just think I'm another tourist in commercial settings.

Recently I have been shopping for new shoes. I am usually picky when shopping for shoes especially around the issue of DO THEY FIT. So I admit I am not the easiest customer. I want the salespeople to actually HELP me, offering me sizing options so I can be confident enough that the size I do buy is the best I could have done.

Anyway, three times recently, just shopping like this, with money in pocket and ready to buy if I can be satisfied, Thai sales clerks have insulted me, right in front of me, laughing and joking about me to a workmate.

How to respond to this kind of rude behavior?

Now I know Thais have a different concept of rude than westerners, but even if a person DIDN'T understand enough of the language to know they were being dissed, just the WAY they are talking gives strong clues to an aware person.

Last night this happened, and rather than speak to them in Thai about it, which would not have been very effective as I am not fluent enough, I just looked hard in face of the clerk of the person who did it. The other clerk picking up there was an issue starting telling lies about what they were saying, silly things like if I buy one shoe I get another one for free.

Yes looking hard, long, and directly in the eyes of the rude clerk WAS a rather an aggressive stance to take. Any better suggestions on how to react? In this case, it made sense as this person had tried to physically PUSH me towards trying on a shoe about 5 times already (I wasn't ready for that as I was still perusing the styles).

Of course the obvious thing is NOT to buy from such rude people. Generally, I don't. But I really want to buy some new shoes so if I didn't buy from rude clerks, I might not ever have any new shoes!

Yes I fully understand that becoming fluent in Thai and approaching the clerks in Thai would change the dynamic. But this topic isn't about that. It's about what it's about. How the clerks tend to act if they don't think you understand any Thai.

Comments please (as if I have to ask).

Put on a big smile and say about the rude person that they must not be thai because thai people are polite and welcoming to guests in their country, then ask if he/she is from myanmar:D

Sent from my GT-S5660 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[robblok]

Be careful however, with a little understanding it is very easy to get the wrong jist of what is being said. Hell, even with a lot of understanding, it is easy to get the wrong message. Ive embarassed myself more than once taking a stance on something I thought I heard only to be proven wrong. Unless you are 100% positive, assume the best. Anything else is a waste of time. As is, quite frankly, being annoyed by someone whose job it is to sell shoes.

But i bet you were right often too.

But i get what your saying it happened to me too.

[Morden]

My understanding of Thai is limited but I've picked up a sixth sense to the pee taking. They usually giggle too and that I take as a giveaway. I find that a hard, knowing stare is usually enough to stop them but I don't feel happy about spending my money with them. If I know I can shop for what I want elsewhere, I walk out.

A friend who is fluent in Thai has a few choice phrases ready for these occasions. He claims it brings them to heel.

[Jingthing]

I don't believe I usually get this wrong. I do agree be careful about overreacting. It isn't worth it. People who act like that aren't worth it.

Speaking of related rare occurrences, once in a blue moon I get a case "Expat Breakdown" and let loose with some correct but "dangerous" comments to a Thai about how badly they are doing their job. I did a few weeks ago to a pharmacist who was shockingly lazy and incompetent in his "efforts" to help me with a basic request. So I said some things to him that were truthful but not wise to say. This guy reacted with some stunning insults of me to his coworker. In THAT case (very rare) I realized I deserved it and couldn't really blame him. I even made an effort to apologize but of course he'll remember me for life as a very bad man. Yes I still think the guy was shockingly bad at his job but we're not supposed to ever SAY that to a Thai.

Surely I can't be the only one who occasionally experiences a flareup of Expat Breakdown?!?

Edited January 28, 2013 by Jingthing

[OxfordWill]

I bottle it deep down and plan to have a full-scale breakdown at 40.

[TommoPhysicist]

'Arai wa' often works.

[robblok]

'Arai wa' often works.

Good one did not think of that one.

[Morakot]

I bottle it deep down and plan to have a full-scale breakdown at 40.

No need to bottle it all up; a big smile followed by some rapid eye movement and you're already on your way to let go. As you assume the best, your post hoc rationalisation will do the rest to put you at ease as you may wonder what did "really" occur.

[sbk]

Seems all rather pointless, if you know you can avoid hassle and being treated like a tourist by speaking even rudimentary Thai then why complain when you get hassle and get treated like a tourist when you choose not to speak Thai?

[loong]

'Arai wa' often works.

Good one did not think of that one.

True, I didn't think of that either, something that I only use with children when they are being extremely cheeky.

For those that don't know

Arai na means "Pardon?" or "what did you say?"

Arai wa means "WHAT DID YOU SAY!!"

[Litlos]

Funny story from a few years ago that is relevant.

I was here with my wife, whilst I worked in Thailand she was definitely "tourist". We had gone into Robinsons at Asok and sort of browsing. She was in the book section and I had wandered off to the sporting goods area. Anyway she had found an interesting looking book, but no price so she heads off to the counter to find out the price, I spot the movement towards the till and decide I had better head back before it costs me a fortune. I arrive back at the counter in time to hear the junior female sales assistant tell her the price was something stupid like 4000Baht, the wife says sorry too much. The sales assistant then replies with "Som Nom Nah" and giggles to male sales assistant. I then repeat to her " Som Nom Nah" whilst holding the wife's hand so she knows we are somehow related? She disappears behind the counter but I can tell where she is by the red glow of embarrassment (loss of face even). The male sales assistant has this look on his face which is straight out of a Thai soapy (<deleted> am I doing here). Allowed a few seconds and we did a dignified exit. Basically the lesson here is if they insult you in Thai, repeat it back to them to let them know you know. Good for a few laughs to offset the annoyance.

PS - For JT, not sure what sort of shoe you are after, but I have had good experiences at Robinsons, although this is Asok not Pattaya.

Cheers

[Kilgore Trout]

Seems all rather pointless, if you know you can avoid hassle and being treated like a tourist by speaking even rudimentary Thai then why complain when you get hassle and get treated like a tourist when you choose not to speak Thai?

So you're saying that being made fun of in your presence by people who assume you don't understand what's being said is being treated like a tourist? Remind me never to visit where you're from.

I come from a city that has tons of tourists and I would never do that even if I had reason to believe that they didn't understand what I said. It's not polite and it's just not right.

[Ulysses G.]

Be careful however, with a little understanding it is very easy to get the wrong jist of what is being said. Hell, even with a lot of understanding, it is easy to get the wrong message. Ive embarassed myself more than once taking a stance on something I thought I heard only to be proven wrong. Unless you are 100% positive, assume the best. Anything else is a waste of time. As is, quite frankly, being annoyed by someone whose job it is to sell shoes.

This was my first thought too. I speak reasonable Thai, but have often misunderstood something, only to realize it a few hours later. IMO,it is better to keep one's mouth shut unless you are 100% sure that you understood what was said and what was meant by it.

[TommoPhysicist]

I then repeat to her " Som Nom Nah" whilst holding the wife's hand so she knows we are somehow related?

"Your tits are well matched"????? ............ that would embarrass most girls, I'm sure.

Edited January 28, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[Ulysses G.]

I arrive back at the counter in time to hear the junior female sales assistant tell her the price was something stupid like 4000Baht, the wife says sorry too much. The sales assistant then replies with "Som Nom Nah" and giggles to male sales assistant.

What is the insult? I must be missing something unless there is more to the story. Som Nom Nah can be insulting, but don't see how it relates to a high price.

Edited January 28, 2013 by Ulysses G.

[Litlos]

I then repeat to her " Som Nom Nah" whilst holding the wife's hand so she knows we are somehow related?

"Your tits are well matched"????? ............ that would embarrass most girls, I'm sure.

I may have spelt it wrong but the literal translation as far as I am aware of what I wrote is " Sh!t happens", could be different tones.

Cheers

[robblok]

I then repeat to her " Som Nom Nah" whilst holding the wife's hand so she knows we are somehow related?

"Your tits are well matched"????? ............ that would embarrass most girls, I'm sure.

I may have spelt it wrong but the literal translation as far as I am aware of what I wrote is " Sh!t happens", could be different tones.

Cheers

Thought it meant what goes around comes around

[TommoPhysicist]

Thought it meant what goes around comes around

That would be "som naam naa"

[robblok]

Thought it meant what goes around comes around

That would be "som naam naa"

That is what the guy tried to type.

[TommoPhysicist]

That is what the guy tried to type.

Nair jai mai

[raro]

Had a great one years ago in an elevator. Two fat Thai girls giggling and looking at me. One states that I am very tall (which I am indeed).

I say in Thai "but not fat".

Instance silence with a couple of floors to go. Must have been the longest elevator ride of their life

[Ulysses G.]

I then repeat to her " Som Nom Nah" whilst holding the wife's hand so she knows we are somehow related?

"Your tits are well matched"????? ............ that would embarrass most girls, I'm sure.

I may have spelt it wrong but the literal translation as far as I am aware of what I wrote is " Sh!t happens", could be different tones.

Cheers

Thought it meant what goes around comes around

It does.This is a pretty good example of someone thinking that they have been insulted when they just misunderstood.