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In A Relationship: Are Lies Acceptable?


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Posted

There is a big difference between a mere white lie and a secret that can destroy a relation.

I just love rationalizations. So where do you draw the line? Is it when you find out that her brother is not really her brother, or when you find out that the money she asked for yesterday did not get used for it's intended purpose? Sorry, if someone is going to lie about small things do you really think they would have any compunction in lying about big things too? If so, I wish you luck.

Where do YOU draw the line? I have left the 'scene' and went on a trip to search for normal and respectable people in Thailand. Didn't take me long to find them.

Learn the language and get involvedthumbsup.gif .

  • Like 1
Posted

"white lies" is actually an english expression.

Duh. This whole thread is made of "English expressions."

If Thais are so far in denial about their white lies and even black lies that they don't have a term for it, it doesn't change the fact that they do it culturally.

How about < Thai script removed, this is the English language side of the forum, if you need to post in Thai, go over to the Thai language forum >

True, true Mr. Neversure. So i suggest splitting these lies in two forms;

1 Lies to safe face(which is culturally acceptable)

2 Lies to defend survival in order to earn as much money as they can during their golden years.

wai.gif

Posted (edited)

The most commonly used lie in Thailand probably is "rot dtit". Usually used without an apology.

Key Mo Mark

^ ^ Chaaai! Menmen makmak duwaai..cool.png

Edited by Dancealot
Posted

I wear belt and suspenders and never believe my wife.

i know what the belt is for.....but WHAT do the suspenders hold up?cheesy.gif

Posted

There is a big difference between a mere white lie and a secret that can destroy a relation.

I just love rationalizations. So where do you draw the line? Is it when you find out that her brother is not really her brother, or when you find out that the money she asked for yesterday did not get used for it's intended purpose? Sorry, if someone is going to lie about small things do you really think they would have any compunction in lying about big things too? If so, I wish you luck.

Where do YOU draw the line? I have left the 'scene' and went on a trip to search for normal and respectable people in Thailand. Didn't take me long to find them.

Learn the language and get involvedthumbsup.gif .

Not sure l understand your post. I don't speak Lao/Thai (me brain dead), BUT, from body language and eyes l can instinctively know whats going on. Always clarify with her in doors regarding my assumptions, smile.png , usually l am right. biggrin.png

PS. Glad I don't speak Thai cos if they thought l did the conversations would be very different. laugh.png

Posted (edited)

No lies ever??? Sure that would be a recipe for disaster for any relationship

"Honey do these pants make my butt look big?"

Truthful answer may be ... No the pants are fine... It's the 10kg you put on after the 3rd child that makes you look fat...

How do you think that would go over in any country with a woman of any nationality?

If it is a small white lie that is said not to hurt some ones feelings or is it a lie that is made to hide some dirty dark secret that if known would be seen as a betrayal of trust.

Would venture the first is ok and sometimes needed in any relation while the second should not happen in any healthy relationship

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

Edited by CWMcMurray
  • Like 2
Posted

No lies ever??? Sure that would be a recipe for disaster for any relationship

"Honey do these pants make my butt look big?"

Truthful answer may be ... No the pants are fine... It's the 10kg you put on after the 3rd child that makes you look fat...

How do you think that would go over in any country with a woman of any nationality?

If it is a small white lie that is said not to hurt some ones feelings or is it a lie that is made to hide some dirty dark secret that if known would be seen as a betrayal of trust.

Would venture the first is ok and sometimes needed in any relation while the second should not happen in any healthy relationship

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

Rubbish, l told my mrs yesterday her ass was getting enormous. cheesy.gif

Posted

I dislike liars of any nationality yet there are always liars about. If a relationship only survives because of lies it is a piss poor relationship.

Are some lies acceptable? Yes, but depending on the circumstances - did he/she die in agony? They will generally answer No. Isn't that acceptable?

In a relationship there will be some untruths and a relationship with many Thai women tends to lead to a lot more lies IMHO and from previous experiences. That is not acceptable to me but to them it seems the norm in the majority of cases. Yes, I've terminated relationships here because of lies and will do so again in the future. Though I can accept the odd lie as no-one is perfect.

  • Like 1
Posted

It depends on whether the lie was in answer to a question or not.

If you asked a question, then she in entitled to lie to you.

A womans number 1 priority is to keep her man happy.

If you ask her a question and she knows that the truth will make you unhappy, then she should tell a lie in order to prevent you from becoming unhappy.

If she is telling you lies, then It's all your fault for asking her questions in the first place.

Ask her no questions and she will tell you no lies.

  • Like 1
Posted

It depends on whether the lie was in answer to a question or not.

If you asked a question, then she in entitled to lie to you.

A womans number 1 priority is to keep her man happy.

If you ask her a question and she knows that the truth will make you unhappy, then she should tell a lie in order to prevent you from becoming unhappy.

If she is telling you lies, then It's all your fault for asking her questions in the first place.

Ask her no questions and she will tell you no lies.

Your 15 eh. laugh.png

Posted (edited)

It depends on whether the lie was in answer to a question or not.

If you asked a question, then she in entitled to lie to you.

A womans number 1 priority is to keep her man happy.

If you ask her a question and she knows that the truth will make you unhappy, then she should tell a lie in order to prevent you from becoming unhappy.

If she is telling you lies, then It's all your fault for asking her questions in the first place.

Ask her no questions and she will tell you no lies.

If you need to ask the question, it;'s probably not worth asking.

But it's only deceitful if she expected you to believe it...

Unfortunately, Thais need to learn the same. If you're not going to like the answer, don't ask the question...

Edited by StreetCowboy
Posted

It depends on whether the lie was in answer to a question or not.

If you asked a question, then she in entitled to lie to you.

A womans number 1 priority is to keep her man happy.

If you ask her a question and she knows that the truth will make you unhappy, then she should tell a lie in order to prevent you from becoming unhappy.

If she is telling you lies, then It's all your fault for asking her questions in the first place.

Ask her no questions and she will tell you no lies.

If you need to ask the question, it;'s probably not worth asking.

But it's only deceitful if she expected you to believe it...

Unfortunately, Thais need to learn the same. If you're not going to like the answer, don't ask the question...

clap2.gifclap2.gifclap2.gif

Posted

Asked my wife if she ever lies.....she stated if You believe I have lied to you then you know the truth. If I say I have never lied to you would you believe me?

I think she is saying she has never lied to me........still trying to figure this one out though??!

Posted (edited)

In Thai culture and politics, 'white lies' are ok.

"white lies" is actually an english expression.

Definition given by Google is "A harmless or trivial lie, esp. one told to avoid hurting someone's feelings"

Basically, while lying is something that should be avoided, western culture still consider that sometime it can be tolerated.

Nothing to do with Thai culture or politic.

white lies, are unique to caucasians

a convicing liar is also known as a politician.

i do say the occasional porkie , it is a part of the survival strategy.

i never go lady bar , darling .

wai2.gif

Edited by elliss
Posted (edited)

In Thai culture and politics, 'white lies' are ok.

I was once told by a wise old man, that sometimes it is kinder to lie than to tell the absolute truth. Depends on the circumstances no matter which culture we come from and considering that if we were always upfront and told some people exactly our thoughts and what we really think of them, we would be very lonely indeed. Edited by Beetlejuice
Posted

ALL women lie

Some truth in that.

There are lots of Thai women who lie and then lie a bit more and then lie even more and then lie to the point where their entire existence is a lie.

I really pity farangs who talk loudly about their "lovely" Thai GF's/wives.

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