Who Is Going To Look After Wife

[Lefty]

On another thread in this forum it asks who is going to look after you in old age. Let's look at the reverse-who is gong to look after your wife after you die. Will she have resources to survive without undo hardship. Three neighborhood friends recently passed away all leaving their wives destitute, in two cases with large hospital bills that will never be paid. Really sad situation. For some(many) it's too late to make a real difference.

Are you satisfied your wife can carry on after your passing.

Lefty

[NeverSure]

I'm not married and don't plan to be, but I've given the "how to" some thought. I think it's different for each from different countries.

For instance, I understand that a Thai wife couldn't draw my social security unless she had lived in the US for a total of 5 years. That's too bad because a Thai widow could live very nicely on that.

If I made her joint on everything, I expose myself to great loss by a variety of means.

I think that if I was married I'd leave everything in the US in my name, and draw as needed. I'm not real trusting, especially when I don't see myself having time to build another estate. I simply can't be ripped of everything I have.

Then I would hire a good US lawyer who specializes in estates, and let him figure out how to assure the wife got the balance of everything upon my death. I'd appoint some friends who would know to contact that lawyer upon my death.

Then I wouldn't let the wife have a clue about it. I'd let her believe I didn't have anything, and only while I'm alive is money sent to me. If I die there's nothing. Then she would get a nice surprise if I died.

There has to be a way to do this.

[MaiChai]

She would probably look for another sponsor? Might be difficult if she isn't young.

The smarter thing to do is to teach her how to be self sufficient. You can do this by taking her to your home country, let her integrate, get her own job, and stand on her own two feet.

Sent from my Andriod smartphone.

[Morden]

My wife was self-sufficient for years before I met her and she's still a worker.

I have helped her to set up some businesses that earn profit with much less time and effort than the business she had when I met her. When I pop my clogs she will have a good income, some of my cash reserves and some of my pension.

She will also have a house on a big plot, and suv, a pick-up and a motorbike. She also has a lot of land that can earn money or be sold.

Isn't it normal to make sure that your wife is provided for? Judging by a lot of derogatory remarks I hear from expats. about their partners, it may be normal but not common.

[billd766]

Every time I read threads like this I get the feeling that I am strange and out of touch with the world as I understand it.

In my first marriage in the Western world my wife and I shared everything, house , bank accounts etc.

The divorce was 100% my fault and I walked away from the marrige in 1999 with my pensions and what fitted into a Ford Mondeo estate car.

In 2000 I remarried to my Thai lady and surprisingly enough to many people the house and land are hers, so what in trust for our son, we have joint bank accounts and she is named as beneficiary on my pensions and while she won't be quite as well off she will be able to live fairly well for the rest of her life when I die.

Perhaps it is me that is weird and wrong in giving my wife 100% trust but she does the same for me and it seems to have work so far in the 20 years we have known each other and the 13 years this month that we have been married.

Maybe it is just me and us but I have had a wonderful life with her plus we have an 8 year old son but I feel sorry for those of you who can't, don't or won't trust your wives.

[USNret]

All of our accounts are either jointly held, or she has POD benefits. So it all goes to her in the case of my demise. I could retire now if I wanted, but not with enough to provide for her indefinitely so I choose to work a few more years while we sock away more cash.

I am teaching her about investments, particularly stock options which we find to be quite profitable. These funds are jointly in her name and we can easily manage them online with a U.S. broker.

Contrary to what another poster said, your Thai wife can & will be eligible for U.S. social security at either age 60 or 65, I forget. There is no need for her to have lived in the States although we are presently working on U.S citizenship for my wife. The amount she will be sufficient for her needs in LOS, especially if she owns her house free & clear. So really my challenge is to leave her enough to last until she reaches that age, which is no problem.

[ThaidDown]

Every time I read threads like this I get the feeling that I am strange and out of touch with the world as I understand it.

In my first marriage in the Western world my wife and I shared everything, house , bank accounts etc.

The divorce was 100% my fault and I walked away from the marrige in 1999 with my pensions and what fitted into a Ford Mondeo estate car.

In 2000 I remarried to my Thai lady and surprisingly enough to many people the house and land are hers, so what in trust for our son, we have joint bank accounts and she is named as beneficiary on my pensions and while she won't be quite as well off she will be able to live fairly well for the rest of her life when I die.

Perhaps it is me that is weird and wrong in giving my wife 100% trust but she does the same for me and it seems to have work so far in the 20 years we have known each other and the 13 years this month that we have been married.

Maybe it is just me and us but I have had a wonderful life with her plus we have an 8 year old son but I feel sorry for those of you who can't, don't or won't trust your wives.

I can assure you that it is not just you. Myself and several friends locally are in similar situations. Personally have passed the 20 year married mark, not looking for medals or sympathy.

Personally I think it all starts with how well you know the girl before you are married, and how she manages her family. Also if you came to Thailand with the intention to be married within a certain time frame the odds of success decrease.

The odds are not that good for a lasting any marriage anywhere, but I meet people here that claim to be married but appear to be in a controlling 'long term rental' situation. Even better chance of failure.

[473geo]

Every time I read threads like this I get the feeling that I am strange and out of touch with the world as I understand it.

In my first marriage in the Western world my wife and I shared everything, house , bank accounts etc.

The divorce was 100% my fault and I walked away from the marrige in 1999 with my pensions and what fitted into a Ford Mondeo estate car.

In 2000 I remarried to my Thai lady and surprisingly enough to many people the house and land are hers, so what in trust for our son, we have joint bank accounts and she is named as beneficiary on my pensions and while she won't be quite as well off she will be able to live fairly well for the rest of her life when I die.

Perhaps it is me that is weird and wrong in giving my wife 100% trust but she does the same for me and it seems to have work so far in the 20 years we have known each other and the 13 years this month that we have been married.

Maybe it is just me and us but I have had a wonderful life with her plus we have an 8 year old son but I feel sorry for those of you who can't, don't or won't trust your wives.

I can assure you that it is not just you. Myself and several friends locally are in similar situations. Personally have passed the 20 year married mark, not looking for medals or sympathy.

Personally I think it all starts with how well you know the girl before you are married, and how she manages her family. Also if you came to Thailand with the intention to be married within a certain time frame the odds of success decrease.

The odds are not that good for a lasting any marriage anywhere, but I meet people here that claim to be married but appear to be in a controlling 'long term rental' situation. Even better chance of failure.

Why do we get these judgemental "I think" posts, your initial paragraph is fine.......why not follow it with the acceptance that others may not have had your opportunities. I know now I was fortunate to be encouraged to take out a private pension, not a huge income but I am aware that others were not so lucky and did not receive such important direction. I don't intend to leave this planet for quite some time, but my pension fund administrators are already under instruction. My understanding is that being a fully paid up contributor to my UK government pension my wife will also receive income from this on my demise. I confess I have yet to set up an NI no. But the receipt of this income is dependant on showing proof of marrige which is why we did the paperwork to ensure any benefits available were attainable. Perhaps some who are happily rolling along with a long term "girlfriend" may wish to give this some thought.

[givenall]

Planning is even more important if you have any children

[AnotherOneAmerican]

She survived before you were here, she will survive after you are gone.

I really don't understand these pointless topics, "Who will look after me", "Who will look after her".

Learn to rely on yourself and your own resources.Grown-ups look after themselves.

[473geo]

She survived before you were here, she will survive after you are gone.

I really don't understand these pointless topics, "Who will look after me", "Who will look after her".

Learn to rely on yourself and your own resources.Grown-ups look after themselves.

You are correct you "really don't understand"......have you any children....or a wife?

[ThaidDown]

Every time I read threads like this I get the feeling that I am strange and out of touch with the world as I understand it.

In my first marriage in the Western world my wife and I shared everything, house , bank accounts etc.

The divorce was 100% my fault and I walked away from the marrige in 1999 with my pensions and what fitted into a Ford Mondeo estate car.

In 2000 I remarried to my Thai lady and surprisingly enough to many people the house and land are hers, so what in trust for our son, we have joint bank accounts and she is named as beneficiary on my pensions and while she won't be quite as well off she will be able to live fairly well for the rest of her life when I die.

Perhaps it is me that is weird and wrong in giving my wife 100% trust but she does the same for me and it seems to have work so far in the 20 years we have known each other and the 13 years this month that we have been married.

Maybe it is just me and us but I have had a wonderful life with her plus we have an 8 year old son but I feel sorry for those of you who can't, don't or won't trust your wives.

I can assure you that it is not just you. Myself and several friends locally are in similar situations. Personally have passed the 20 year married mark, not looking for medals or sympathy.

Personally I think it all starts with how well you know the girl before you are married, and how she manages her family. Also if you came to Thailand with the intention to be married within a certain time frame the odds of success decrease.

The odds are not that good for a lasting any marriage anywhere, but I meet people here that claim to be married but appear to be in a controlling 'long term rental' situation. Even better chance of failure.

Why do we get these judgemental "I think" posts, your initial paragraph is fine.......why not follow it with the acceptance that others may not have had your opportunities. I know now I was fortunate to be encouraged to take out a private pension, not a huge income but I am aware that others were not so lucky and did not receive such important direction. I don't intend to leave this planet for quite some time, but my pension fund administrators are already under instruction. My understanding is that being a fully paid up contributor to my UK government pension my wife will also receive income from this on my demise. I confess I have yet to set up an NI no. But the receipt of this income is dependant on showing proof of marrige which is why we did the paperwork to ensure any benefits available were attainable. Perhaps some who are happily rolling along with a long term "girlfriend" may wish to give this some thought.

I certainly was not being judgement in any way, that is just my personal opinion, which I am entitled to. It does not in any way imply others should think the same way, or in some cases even think at all.

[billd766]

Every time I read threads like this I get the feeling that I am strange and out of touch with the world as I understand it.

In my first marriage in the Western world my wife and I shared everything, house , bank accounts etc.

The divorce was 100% my fault and I walked away from the marrige in 1999 with my pensions and what fitted into a Ford Mondeo estate car.

In 2000 I remarried to my Thai lady and surprisingly enough to many people the house and land are hers, so what in trust for our son, we have joint bank accounts and she is named as beneficiary on my pensions and while she won't be quite as well off she will be able to live fairly well for the rest of her life when I die.

Perhaps it is me that is weird and wrong in giving my wife 100% trust but she does the same for me and it seems to have work so far in the 20 years we have known each other and the 13 years this month that we have been married.

Maybe it is just me and us but I have had a wonderful life with her plus we have an 8 year old son but I feel sorry for those of you who can't, don't or won't trust your wives.

I can assure you that it is not just you. Myself and several friends locally are in similar situations. Personally have passed the 20 year married mark, not looking for medals or sympathy.

Personally I think it all starts with how well you know the girl before you are married, and how she manages her family. Also if you came to Thailand with the intention to be married within a certain time frame the odds of success decrease.

The odds are not that good for a lasting any marriage anywhere, but I meet people here that claim to be married but appear to be in a controlling 'long term rental' situation. Even better chance of failure.

Why do we get these judgemental "I think" posts, your initial paragraph is fine.......why not follow it with the acceptance that others may not have had your opportunities. I know now I was fortunate to be encouraged to take out a private pension, not a huge income but I am aware that others were not so lucky and did not receive such important direction. I don't intend to leave this planet for quite some time, but my pension fund administrators are already under instruction. My understanding is that being a fully paid up contributor to my UK government pension my wife will also receive income from this on my demise. I confess I have yet to set up an NI no. But the receipt of this income is dependant on showing proof of marrige which is why we did the paperwork to ensure any benefits available were attainable. Perhaps some who are happily rolling along with a long term "girlfriend" may wish to give this some thought.

I certainly was not being judgement in any way, that is just my personal opinion, which I am entitled to. It does not in any way imply others should think the same way, or in some cases even think at all.

I was not being judgemntal either but at 55 I changed my life around for the better and the opportunities that I had were the ones that I made for myself.

I have had 4 careers, 25 years in the military from boy to man, 5 years as a civil servant working for the Home Office and 21 years as a cellular engineer building networks first in the UK and then worldwide, 10 of those years were in a company and 11 as a contractor. I left school with virtually no qualifications and chose what I wanted to do and was good enough to be able to do it. If I can anybody can if they want to enough.

As an alternative I could have stayed in my home town, had the regulation 2.5 children, 3 bed house and now be tending my flowers in the garden. Nah, not really.

Edited April 8, 2013 by billd766

[rgs2001uk]

Every time I read threads like this I get the feeling that I am strange and out of touch with the world as I understand it.

In my first marriage in the Western world my wife and I shared everything, house , bank accounts etc.

The divorce was 100% my fault and I walked away from the marrige in 1999 with my pensions and what fitted into a Ford Mondeo estate car.

In 2000 I remarried to my Thai lady and surprisingly enough to many people the house and land are hers, so what in trust for our son, we have joint bank accounts and she is named as beneficiary on my pensions and while she won't be quite as well off she will be able to live fairly well for the rest of her life when I die.

Perhaps it is me that is weird and wrong in giving my wife 100% trust but she does the same for me and it seems to have work so far in the 20 years we have known each other and the 13 years this month that we have been married.

Maybe it is just me and us but I have had a wonderful life with her plus we have an 8 year old son but I feel sorry for those of you who can't, don't or won't trust your wives.

I can assure you that it is not just you. Myself and several friends locally are in similar situations. Personally have passed the 20 year married mark, not looking for medals or sympathy.

Personally I think it all starts with how well you know the girl before you are married, and how she manages her family. Also if you came to Thailand with the intention to be married within a certain time frame the odds of success decrease.

The odds are not that good for a lasting any marriage anywhere, but I meet people here that claim to be married but appear to be in a controlling 'long term rental' situation. Even better chance of failure.

Why do we get these judgemental "I think" posts, your initial paragraph is fine.......why not follow it with the acceptance that others may not have had your opportunities. I know now I was fortunate to be encouraged to take out a private pension, not a huge income but I am aware that others were not so lucky and did not receive such important direction. I don't intend to leave this planet for quite some time, but my pension fund administrators are already under instruction. My understanding is that being a fully paid up contributor to my UK government pension my wife will also receive income from this on my demise. I confess I have yet to set up an NI no. But the receipt of this income is dependant on showing proof of marrige which is why we did the paperwork to ensure any benefits available were attainable. Perhaps some who are happily rolling along with a long term "girlfriend" may wish to give this some thought.

I confess I have yet to set up an NI no.

If you mean a NI no. for your wife, no need

My understanding is that being a fully paid up contributor to my UK

government pension my wife will also receive income from this on my

demise.

Correct, a 2,000 pound death grant and a reduced pension for one year, then apply again at age 65.

So if your wife is say aged 50 when you die she will receive the pension for one year, then nothing until she applies again at age 65.

[villagefarang]

"Are you satisfied your wife can carry on after your passing?" Yes, of course.

[Songhua]

We have mutual life insurance policies. ie we are each other's beneficiary. In the event we both kick it at the same time, our (now adult) kids will benefit. Same deal with my superannuation funds.

And as an Australian citizen she'll receive her own old age pension.

Edited April 8, 2013 by Songhua

[Almera]

She survived before you were here, she will survive after you are gone.

I really don't understand these pointless topics, "Who will look after me", "Who will look after her".

Learn to rely on yourself and your own resources.Grown-ups look after themselves.

But they need to continue providing for the poor little thing that they rescued from unjust poverty.