Do Tourists All Think Expats Are Married To Ex-'working Girls'?

[Morakot]

I worked in a university for a few years and estimate that at least 20% of the girls there worked as 'escorts' or 'good time girls'.

How did you estimate this?

[Soutpeel]

but I do think that quite a few are and don't know it.

but there will more as a percentage who do know it...

[wamberal]

Who cares what ignorant tourists think? Most of them only know which country they are in because it tells them on the ticket.

[Soutpeel]

I worked in a university for a few years and estimate that at least 20% of the girls there worked as 'escorts' or 'good time girls'.

How did you estimate this?

Based on in-depth practical research...

[Morakot]

I worked in a university for a few years and estimate that at least 20% of the girls there worked as 'escorts' or 'good time girls'.

How did you estimate this?

Based on in-depth practical research...

Sounds more like fantasy or wishful thinking.

[ragamuffin]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Like marriages between most people in this world? Have a look here, research from the US says that people have love relationships for all sorts of reasons. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200007/whats-your-love-story

Nope. Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies from less developed countries are certainly something different. Fair enough but please be honest about it.

[IrishIvan]

Define prostitute. Is that were a women sleeps with a man for money? So after 20 years of marriage if the woman gets half a million dollar settlement does that make her a whore? Or is this term used only when its a cash transaction on the night?

Of course it doesn't make her a prostitute - prostitution is a job and involves sleeping with many men.

But if you sleep with one man for half a million then they arent? Just seems its a question of price and race. Google Rose Hancock who was a Filipina maid to a billionare Australian named Lang Hancock. It didnt take her long to jump in his bed. Interesting story. The general public all thought she was a whore. If she wasnt asian then it might have been a different opinion

[Paangjang]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

correct

[Paangjang]

i would think a very high percentage of tourists or even people who haven't been to thailand,would make the assumption that all thai/western couples are either exbargirls or "mail order brides",this is re-enforced to them when they see older guys with much younger asian wives or westerners who have asian wives much more attractive to them.

Before thailand was the flavour of the month it was filipino wives.

It certainly seems to be that way in australia anyway.

Australia and the rest of the world...

[Morakot]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Like marriages between most people in this world? Have a look here, research from the US says that people have love relationships for all sorts of reasons. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200007/whats-your-love-story

Nope. Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies from less developed countries are certainly something different.

Well that's new! "Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies" wasn't really the topic you referred to; instead you made a generalisation about marriages between Thai and Westerns persons. Exactly like the person in the pub the OP talked about.

[KarenBravo]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

correct

Incorrect.

An assumption is an assumption. Only facts are correct.

[somtampet]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

correct

Incorrect.

An assumption is an assumption. Only facts are correct.

GOOD POINT KAREN

[somtampet]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Like marriages between most people in this world? Have a look here, research from the US says that people have love relationships for all sorts of reasons. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200007/whats-your-love-story

Nope. Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies from less developed countries are certainly something different.

Well that's new! "Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies" wasn't really the topic you referred to; instead you made a generalisation about marriages between Thai and Westerns persons. Exactly like the person in the pub the OP talked about.

good post,bang on the button

[Neeranam]

I worked in a university for a few years and estimate that at least 20% of the girls there worked as 'escorts' or 'good time girls'.

How did you estimate this?

Based on in-depth practical research...

I worked in Mahasarakham University for 5 years. At the time it was a fairly small town. I stayed there regularly without my wife so went around town a lot talking with many people including students. Karaoke bars, nightclubs etc. So yes, practical research although I was never unfaithful. Ask the next 'escort' 'karaoke girl' you meet if she is a student.

[Neeranam]

Define prostitute. Is that were a women sleeps with a man for money? So after 20 years of marriage if the woman gets half a million dollar settlement does that make her a whore? Or is this term used only when its a cash transaction on the night?

Of course it doesn't make her a prostitute - prostitution is a job and involves sleeping with many men.

But if you sleep with one man for half a million then they arent? Just seems its a question of price and race. Google Rose Hancock who was a Filipina maid to a billionare Australian named Lang Hancock. It didnt take her long to jump in his bed. Interesting story. The general public all thought she was a whore. If she wasnt asian then it might have been a different opinion

No, I'd sleep with one man for half a million and I'm not a prostitute.

[akspace]

Define prostitute. Is that were a women sleeps with a man for money? So after 20 years of marriage if the woman gets half a million dollar settlement does that make her a whore? Or is this term used only when its a cash transaction on the night?

Of course it doesn't make her a prostitute - prostitution is a job and involves sleeping with many men.

But if you sleep with one man for half a million then they arent? Just seems its a question of price and race. Google Rose Hancock who was a Filipina maid to a billionare Australian named Lang Hancock. It didnt take her long to jump in his bed. Interesting story. The general public all thought she was a whore. If she wasnt asian then it might have been a different opinion

No, I'd sleep with one man for half a million and I'm not a prostitute.

By definition you are a prostitute if you have sex with anyone for money. It doesn't matter if it's one person or one-thousand.

[pattayadingo]

In the U.K. especially, most people I have met think we are all here with bar girls, the women especially think that is all we have come here for.

As to the guy the OP spoke to, I think he is only one of many who are led to believe Thailand is one big brothel, so he made his comments on what he is led to believe. On that basis i can understand his reaction.

On the other hand, I'd try to educate him a little and if he still thought the same way after some education, then I'd let him know what a prat he is.

Many people around the world believe what they hear. It is only when they actually go somewhere or experience something for themselves that they might alter their perception.

[toybits]

The tourist was obviously a Sex tourist. But then again, there are a lot of farangs that have taken ex-BGs as their partner and that only reinforces that belief.

[HardenedSoul]

This thread's been amusing. I mean, here we are berating the OP's tourist drinking buddy for daring to ask if his wife was ever a bargirl when each day, without fail, the mere mention of a forum member's wife or girlfriend prompts similar questions from people who've lived here for years.

At least the tourist had inexperience as a defense for his ignorance.

What excuse does the TV forum's membership use to defend theirs?

[BookMan]

Never meet anyone in Thailand or abroad who made such an assumption. To be honest never heard about (Thai) "bar girls" or what not, until I found this forum.

I hadn't heard the expression 'bargirls' before Thailand.

There was a lot of negative stereotyping regarding Thai women (and Filipino women) in Australia. This was more to do with the 'mail order bride' aspect rather than an assumption the women had been bargirls

I wouldn't think the average tourist would even consider that an ex-pats wife might have been an ex-working girl.

The age disparity factor, yes, that is noticed and commented on, but not the women's prior possible occupation

[Neeranam]

Define prostitute. Is that were a women sleeps with a man for money? So after 20 years of marriage if the woman gets half a million dollar settlement does that make her a whore? Or is this term used only when its a cash transaction on the night?

Of course it doesn't make her a prostitute - prostitution is a job and involves sleeping with many men.

But if you sleep with one man for half a million then they arent? Just seems its a question of price and race. Google Rose Hancock who was a Filipina maid to a billionare Australian named Lang Hancock. It didnt take her long to jump in his bed. Interesting story. The general public all thought she was a whore. If she wasnt asian then it might have been a different opinion

No, I'd sleep with one man for half a million and I'm not a prostitute.

By definition you are a prostitute if you have sex with anyone for money. It doesn't matter if it's one person or one-thousand.

No, this is not true. It matters a lot. I'd be a guy who slept with a man once for a large amount of money.

I carried someone's golf clubs in 1981 for 18 holes, Does this make me a caddie?

If it's a business or practice then yes, but a one off.

Edited May 2, 2013 by Neeranam

[somtampet]

This thread's been amusing. I mean, here we are berating the OP's tourist drinking buddy for daring to ask if his wife was ever a bargirl when each day, without fail, the mere mention of a forum member's wife or girlfriend prompts similar questions from people who've lived here for years.

At least the tourist had inexperience as a defense for his ignorance.

What excuse does the TV forum's membership use to defend theirs?

Exactly,the bm has accused all thai girls,working in Pattaya as whores

[BookMan]

I don't think that all expats are married to former BGs, but I do think that quite a few are and don't know it.

Have you noticed any difference in longevity between these relationships and ones you presume the woman was not an ex BG?

[Kilgore Trout]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible <deleted> the guy was.

How would others respond?

My response would have been; "no, is yours?"

[ragamuffin]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Like marriages between most people in this world? Have a look here, research from the US says that people have love relationships for all sorts of reasons. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200007/whats-your-love-story

Nope. Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies from less developed countries are certainly something different.

Well that's new! "Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies" wasn't really the topic you referred to; instead you made a generalisation about marriages between Thai and Westerns persons. Exactly like the person in the pub the OP talked about.

Nope. I pointed out that this is a combination you rarely find outside less developed countries simply because of the fact that such conditions barely exist in e.g. the US or Europe.

And yes, I doubt most of the young Thai ladies who marry elderly Farang here are truly on love with their wonderful personalities.

[Theoutsider]

Tourist are myopic.

When they come to find bargirls and prostitutes, they see all Thai women as being BGs and pros!

Should we all assume they all have fat, disgusting, greedy, piggish wives waiting for them to return home after their sex-tourist vacation in LOS?

so tell us again why you came to Thailand in the first place.?..yeah yeah I am know it was the temples and beaches

How many times have I heard that one before. Edited May 2, 2013 by Theoutsider

[theblether]

Put it this way............there's enough members of this forum that assume that every Thai women is for hire, ( and I mean every ), never mind the others who take a great and sick delight in trolling the membership with the same assumption.

That brain damaged former member Tommophysicist was a prime example, he arrived in Thailand by his own admission as a sex tourist, claimed he couldn't get it on with a bar girl, then a hooker took him up country and married him off to her sister that couldn't speak a word of English. He then took delight in trolling everyone else as being a sex tourist.

It's guaranteed to inflame, I happen to know the partners of a couple of guys he accused of being a sex tourist and I can tell you that in his dreams would he be with them. One in particular flies all over the place as senior executive with a highly connected company, I was highly amused when she sent the company limousine to pick that member up at Swampy.

If we have a coterie of idiots here that take the assumption that every girl is for hire / bar girl / ex bar girl, then what chance have the tourists got when they are subjected to relentless negative coverage and stereotyping of Thai women?

To me, it's up to us that know better to confront this stereotyping. It doesn't mean that we cannot see the truth of some relationships but equally we must contest that every relationship is of that ilk. It's an uphill battle to say the least, but those among us that have loving, hard working Thai partners should take every chance we get to break down that stereotype.

What would I have done last night? I wouldn't have knocked the guy out, all you make is an enemy, and he would possibly be thinking to himself that you reacted thus because the " truth hurts ". Don't react aggressively, do this.........

" I can understand why you would ask that, before I came to Thailand I was of the same opinion. It was only when I got here I realized how despised prostitution is by normal Thais.............many Thai women are extraordinarily hard working and would rather die than sell their bodies, just look at all the young women working in banks, 7 / 11, Macro and the like, just look at all the young women spending years at University to improve their lives, in fact I met my lady................"

At this point the guy will do one of two things, he'll either say I wasn't aware of that and you've converted someone to understanding a bit more about Thailand and Thai society, or he'll call you a liar.

At this point hit him with your best Muay Thai moves, a quick sai kwa to the face, two sog kwas, three sog sais to the stomach, and one the way down hit him with three raid dek kwas. ( left right to the face, two right elbows, three left knees to his stomach, and three rapid right hand kicks to his head ).

As he's lying their bleeding, bend over him and say........." if it was up to me you would have got that right away, but theblether said I'd to give you a chance to understand where you were going wrong........but he also said that if you were cheeky after it I'd to kick your head in. "

See, simple!! Just blame me, everyone else does anyway.

[Soutpeel]

I doubt most of the young Thai ladies who marry elderly Farang here are truly on love with their wonderful personalities.

the young Thai ladies are certainly in love with something, but most certainly isnt the farangs sparkling personalities....

Daarling...go balcony, I come sit with you, have brother visit today from Isaan...

[JLCrab]

Back to Post #1, I just choose to remind myself:

- Don't talk with strangers, at least without keeping in range the nearest exit.

- If you must talk with them, don't have a drink with them.

- When asked if you have a wife or a girlfriend, just say 'Both!' and make a quick exit as they try to fathom your response.

[HardenedSoul]

Did the OP's tourist drinking buddy enquire about both spouses' ages before asking if the wife had ever been a brass?