Sinsod from a poor man

[David48]

I'll give you two reasons why he wouldn't.

1 - Sin sod used to have a place in society when taking away a daughter would have a financial impact on the family. It has no place in the modern world. It is now just an excuse for grubby inlaws to try and get their hands on some free cash they dont deserve under the guise of 'tradition'.

Not everyone's mileage is the same.

I have to disagree with the universal statement above.

My other half is MissFarmGirl who lives on the Farm with her family.

She was the only one the family they could afford to put through University.

With her education she was able to secure a job locally within a International Firm and according, received a decent salary.

Taking her contribution away from the Farm income would have a significant effect.

You are welcome to email and ask her that question.

As MissFarmGirl often remind me ... not all Thai same ...

So Kananga, while SinSot may or maynot be applicable in your circumstance, it is still relevant in Thai Society.

.

Its still not relevant. If your wife feels the need to continue to support her family then she can send them a portion of her pay check every month, like I assume she is doing now. Still no reason for you to give her inlaws any money. Unless you are buying off her monthly contribution with one payment. Which in my opinion is a bad idea as they will most likely spend the money in a heartbeat and then start asking for monthly handouts again which your wife will be obliged to pay.

My post is relevant ...

You have made a universal statement that you think implies universally throughout all of Thailand.

It's obviously relevant to you.

It's relevant to many here.

But it's not relevant to EVERYONE.

Plus ... you have made a number of assumptions which are just ... assumptions.

Did I mention that MissFarmGirl and I are married? NO

You assume that she is working. NO

You assume that 'I' will be paying a SinSot. NO If, when that time comes both my gf and we will contribute together.

Lot's of assumptions ... none of which are correct.

So Kananga, ... are you married?

Did you pay a SinSot?

Any money or gold?

If you did marry, was your bride married before?

Has children?

All this things, as you well know, are relevant.

.

.

[David48]

Your post is not particularly clear.

Your wife already left the farm once to work for a multi nat who in turn (via a salary) recompensed the family for their loss of a 'worker' if you will?

Now you say she still remains on the farm, yet you still paid a sin sod?

Could you just clear that up old bean?

For you HeavyDrinker .. never a problem ..

MissFarmGirl never worked at the Farm ... except come harvest time, not more then a morning a month, if that. Come Harvest time ... everyone works ... including me (... don't tell Immigration).

What she did do was to go to work, 6 days a week at the Company and then paid part of her salary as a contribution to the Farm.

Many Thai Girls send money back to the parents ... but you know that already. After all, they (her parents) did sacrifice their money to send and support her at University.

We're not married ... it was an assumption of the poster above who said that.

Click on the link I've shown above and drop by and meet MissFarmGirl and how her Farm works ... not many words, lot's of photos ... and easy read.

OH ... she's my best friend and the best thing that every happened to me ...

.

Edited June 29, 2013 by David48

[David48]

But ... this is the rub ... my experience is different from yours ... and yours ... and even yours.

What I didn't mention was what the Thai Family does for the gf and for me.

Nor what has been offered for the future.

When we go for a collective meal out, sometimes 6 adults and maybe 4 ankle biters.

Who pays? ... The Farm Father ... (I have paid a few times, but the balance is with him)

Who throws the whole Family into the truck for a Sunday drive somewhere?... The Farm Father ...

He's been offered Petrol/Gas money many times ... always refused.

Everyone's situation is different, different rules, different assumptions.

So, come SinSot time ... sure we will show something.

Some will stay with the Farm ... some will come back to us.

The gold will go to Lassie ... and that means us.

Negotiation is everything in Thailand, a key to respect.

I've taught them (the Thai Family) part of my Culture that kindness doesn't equal weakness.

In learning that lesson, they lost a bit of skin to learn that.

So, that's part of our story ... our experience is everyone is different.

.

[brewsterbudgen]

I just took a 'straw poll' of the neighbours asking how much sin sod they paid. They just laughed at me and called me a silly arse and if I ever shout over their fence again they'll shoot me...

I'm not surprised, if you did this in farang-land!

Edited June 29, 2013 by brewsterbudgen

[belg]

little tip: if you don't have the money, DONT GET MARRIED

what will you doing here? working illegaly in "her" shop ?

what about supporting your already 100% farang child first?

thinking with the little head in stead of the big one ? (some cases, no different in seize or working ability)

[Kananga]

I'll give you two reasons why he wouldn't.

1 - Sin sod used to have a place in society when taking away a daughter would have a financial impact on the family. It has no place in the modern world. It is now just an excuse for grubby inlaws to try and get their hands on some free cash they dont deserve under the guise of 'tradition'.

Not everyone's mileage is the same.

I have to disagree with the universal statement above.

My other half is MissFarmGirl who lives on the Farm with her family.

She was the only one the family they could afford to put through University.

With her education she was able to secure a job locally within a International Firm and according, received a decent salary.

Taking her contribution away from the Farm income would have a significant effect.

You are welcome to email and ask her that question.

As MissFarmGirl often remind me ... not all Thai same ...

So Kananga, while SinSot may or maynot be applicable in your circumstance, it is still relevant in Thai Society.

.

.

Your post is not particularly clear.

Your wife already left the farm once to work for a multi nat who in turn (via a salary) recompensed the family for their loss of a 'worker' if you will?

Now you say she still remains on the farm, yet you still paid a sin sod?

Could you just clear that up old bean?

He's contradicting himself to argue a point. Forst of all he said his girl lives on the farm, then he said they paid for her university education, now he's saying she doesn't work. Just to prove a point about assumptions. Its obvious that when conversing with strangers on the internet you have limited knowledge of that assumptions will be made, some correct and some not. Its hardly rocket surgery.

[saroq]

Does you GF know of your dire financial condition? Maybe you should be stressing about how you're going to maintain a happy marriage with no money and no plan beyond stumping up a minimal dowry so that you can move in and live off the proceeds of your GF's business.

[Kananga]

I'll give you two reasons why he wouldn't.

1 - Sin sod used to have a place in society when taking away a daughter would have a financial impact on the family. It has no place in the modern world. It is now just an excuse for grubby inlaws to try and get their hands on some free cash they dont deserve under the guise of 'tradition'.

Not everyone's mileage is the same.

I have to disagree with the universal statement above.

My other half is MissFarmGirl who lives on the Farm with her family.

She was the only one the family they could afford to put through University.

With her education she was able to secure a job locally within a International Firm and according, received a decent salary.

Taking her contribution away from the Farm income would have a significant effect.

You are welcome to email and ask her that question.

As MissFarmGirl often remind me ... not all Thai same ...

So Kananga, while SinSot may or maynot be applicable in your circumstance, it is still relevant in Thai Society.

.

Its still not relevant. If your wife feels the need to continue to support her family then she can send them a portion of her pay check every month, like I assume she is doing now. Still no reason for you to give her inlaws any money. Unless you are buying off her monthly contribution with one payment. Which in my opinion is a bad idea as they will most likely spend the money in a heartbeat and then start asking for monthly handouts again which your wife will be obliged to pay.

My post is relevant ...

You have made a universal statement that you think implies universally throughout all of Thailand.

It's obviously relevant to you.

It's relevant to many here.

But it's not relevant to EVERYONE.

Plus ... you have made a number of assumptions which are just ... assumptions.

Did I mention that MissFarmGirl and I are married? NO

You assume that she is working. NO

You assume that 'I' will be paying a SinSot. NO If, when that time comes both my gf and we will contribute together.

Lot's of assumptions ... none of which are correct.

So Kananga, ... are you married?

Did you pay a SinSot?

Any money or gold?

If you did marry, was your bride married before?

Has children?

All this things, as you well know, are relevant.

.

.

Am I married? Yes

Did I pay a sin sod? Well, now you are making the assumption she is Thai. (See how these assumptions come into play in these types of conversations?)

Anyway, to answer your question. No, I didn't. But then my inlaws live in the 21st century.

Was my wife married before? No.

Did she have children before? No.

Would I pay a sinsod if asked? Yes, but only on the condition that my traditions are considered and that means the father of the bride pays for the wedding.

If they couldnt afford to then no, I still wouldnt. If marrying their daughter had a financial impact on their livelyhood then my wife and I would agree on a long term and sustainable approach to assisting them, but they wouldnt get a large handout to show off in front of their neighbours and then promptly squander.

There is absolutely no need for it in any relevant situation in this day and age. Its an outdated tradition which was relevant when taking a family member had an impact on the household income and the groom couldnt be trusted to provide ongoing support if required. The idea of 'buying' a wife from a family and them showing off how much they got for her is quite frankly abhorrent to me.

Edited June 29, 2013 by Kananga

[ukrules]

I don't see the need to ever get married. It's just a silly old tradition.

It could be useful for getting a hassle free visa though.

[RigPig]

Well I read all of this and the ONLY thing I can say is think the worse until proved otherwise !!

1. Sinsod is paid at weddings not engagements

2. The business to support both of you will eventually be financed by you (always making a loss and any money coming in will be sent home).

3. If you can't get together 100K Baht ($3000 approx) <deleted> are you going to do when you get here!! Thailand is a great place but not when you have no money. Are you intending to work here? Earning what maybe 20,000 Baht a month?

4. You are Farang not Thai!!!

If you are not being scammed then let her prove it, as others have said just live together until you get on your feet.

Oh also as others have said, how old are you and she? Does she have children? (if so you are buying "damaged goods" and should pay nothing)

IMHO

[MissFarmGirl]

My advice would be to think outside the square ...

Ask to 'borrow' the 100,000 Baht from a relative of your future Mother-in-Law.

Offer maybe 5,000 Baht for this privilege.

You have to be careful who you borrow from so that everyone's 'face' is saved.

Your gf will know who to borrow from. If not a relative then maybe a friend of your gf?

Plus, you have overcome the issue that you might not get your money back.

Don't stress too much about 'the ring' ... it plays 2^nd fiddle to the Baht Gold.

The art of negotiation is one of the keys to gaining true respect in Thai Culture.

Remember though ... one humble man's suggestion ... others will have their own advice and experience.

.

this is good advice

but you not listen your woman

she 'pay what you can, up to you'

your new family can help you if you ask them

[12DrinkMore]

I had my Thai wedding my way.

Cost 10k baht in total.

Lots of food and JWB for those we care about. Had a great ol' day and night. Probably less than 10 adults there in total.

Idiots spending more than that on people they don't know or care about is just silly.

After a few years here you think you should do it big so they can all get face off wasted money. After a few more years here you realize how silly it is, and you're also more in control of your testicles. You call the shots, not them.

Last sentence is so true.

In that respect it was such a RELIEF to get past 50.

There are a number of downsides, I have to admit.

But finally the big brain can dominate the blinkered balls.

I don't regret too many of the previous episodes, but luckily managed to always get back on the rails.

[David48]

He's contradicting himself to argue a point. Forst of all he said his girl lives on the farm, then he said they paid for her university education, now he's saying she doesn't work. Just to prove a point about assumptions. Its obvious that when conversing with strangers on the internet you have limited knowledge of that assumptions will be made, some correct and some not. Its hardly rocket surgery.

* ... sigh ...

Mate, you are so full of wrong assumptions ...

No contradictions ... none.

MissFarmGirl lives at her Parents' Farm.

Yes, they paid for her University education.

No, she doesn't work now.

So ... please explain just how those three facts can be mutually exclusive.

How am I 'contradicting himself' ?

.

[David48]

Am I married? Yes

Did I pay a sin sod? Well, now you are making the assumption she is Thai. (See how these assumptions come into play in these types of conversations?)

Anyway, to answer your question. No, I didn't. But then my inlaws live in the 21st century.

Was my wife married before? No.

Did she have children before? No.

Would I pay a sinsod if asked? Yes, but only on the condition that my traditions are considered and that means the father of the bride pays for the wedding.

If they couldnt afford to then no, I still wouldnt. If marrying their daughter had a financial impact on their livelyhood then my wife and I would agree on a long term and sustainable approach to assisting them, but they wouldnt get a large handout to show off in front of their neighbours and then promptly squander.

There is absolutely no need for it in any relevant situation in this day and age. Its an outdated tradition which was relevant when taking a family member had an impact on the household income and the groom couldnt be trusted to provide ongoing support if required. The idea of 'buying' a wife from a family and them showing off how much they got for her is quite frankly abhorrent to me.

Mate ... you never did make the debating team at school ... did you?

I never made the assumption that your wife is Thai ... I simply asked if you paid a SinSot.

You say that, if asked, you would pay a SinSot. Then you say that ... "There is absolutely no need for it in any relevant situation in this day and age."

Once you get invited to numerous Wedding you will realise that the tradition of SinSot is indeed, alive and well ... amongst the Thais and some Farangs.

Again ... while this practise is not for you, nor for maybe many here ... it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen every day in Thailand.

Just two days ago a member here affirmed that the Culture of SinSot was in compensation for the milk the mother gave to her daughter when she was being raised.

You can read that Here

A good mate of mine swore blind that it was to pay for the ladies 'honour' ... yes, breaking the Hyman.

You probably don't even know that there is a lesser form or SinSot called an 'Apology' ... Kho sa maa = ขอสมา You speak Thai ... don't you?

Again, I'm not saying that for you, SinSot is an outdated practise ... I'm not trying to change your mind ... it's obviously set in concrete ... but to say that it, SinSot, doesn't apply in other's circumstances, is plainly incorrect.

Next ...

.

Edited June 29, 2013 by David48

[Kananga]

He's contradicting himself to argue a point. Forst of all he said his girl lives on the farm, then he said they paid for her university education, now he's saying she doesn't work. Just to prove a point about assumptions. Its obvious that when conversing with strangers on the internet you have limited knowledge of that assumptions will be made, some correct and some not. Its hardly rocket surgery.

* ... sigh ...

Mate, you are so full of wrong assumptions ...

No contradictions ... none.

MissFarmGirl lives at her Parents' Farm.

Yes, they paid for her University education.

No, she doesn't work now.

So ... please explain just how those three facts can be mutually exclusive.

How am I 'contradicting himself' ?

.

Dear oh dear. Her family pay for a university education and she is now sat on her backside on a farm doing bugger all. And he's not only going to marry her but give her family a chunk of cash as well. There's one born every minute and as usual they are always the last to see what's coming.

[Kananga]

Am I married? Yes

Did I pay a sin sod? Well, now you are making the assumption she is Thai. (See how these assumptions come into play in these types of conversations?)

Anyway, to answer your question. No, I didn't. But then my inlaws live in the 21st century.

Was my wife married before? No.

Did she have children before? No.

Would I pay a sinsod if asked? Yes, but only on the condition that my traditions are considered and that means the father of the bride pays for the wedding.

If they couldnt afford to then no, I still wouldnt. If marrying their daughter had a financial impact on their livelyhood then my wife and I would agree on a long term and sustainable approach to assisting them, but they wouldnt get a large handout to show off in front of their neighbours and then promptly squander.

There is absolutely no need for it in any relevant situation in this day and age. Its an outdated tradition which was relevant when taking a family member had an impact on the household income and the groom couldnt be trusted to provide ongoing support if required. The idea of 'buying' a wife from a family and them showing off how much they got for her is quite frankly abhorrent to me.

Mate ... you never did make the debating team at school ... did you?

I never made the assumption that your wife is Thai ... I simply asked if you paid a SinSot.

You say that, if asked, you would pay a SinSot. Then you say that ... "There is absolutely no need for it in any relevant situation in this day and age."

Once you get invited to numerous Wedding you will realise that the tradition of SinSot is indeed, alive and well ... amongst the Thais and some Farangs.

Again ... while this practise is not for you, nor for maybe many here ... it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen every day in Thailand.

Just two days ago a member here affirmed that the Culture of SinSot was in compensation for the milk the mother gave to her daughter when she was being raised.

You can read that Here

A good mate of mine swore blind that it was to pay for the ladies 'honour' ... yes, breaking the Hyman.

You probably don't even know that there is a lesser form or SinSot called an 'Apology' ... Kho sa maa = ขอสมา You speak Thai ... don't you?

Again, I'm not saying that for you, SinSot is an outdated practise ... I'm not trying to change your mind ... it's obviously set in concrete ... but to say that it, SinSot, doesn't apply in other's circumstances, is plainly incorrect.

Next ...

.

Oh dear, the 'i can write Thai tactic'. Haven't seen that one for a couple of days.

Don't sweat it. I also used to have pointless arguments on the Internet with people when I was 21. You'll grow out of it.

[nottocus]

I predict that the Op.....ah...it doesn't matter.

He'll find out.

[rosst]

"Well done for not marrying a $2 bargirl with kids like the rest of us."

I hope that statement was written tongue-in-cheek, but if not, then it's a very insulting comment to many here, and only shows your own ignorance. I agree that there are many men who do fall into that grouping, but there are also many, myself and all of my known farang friends included, who do not. All of us are around 60, and our wives are within 10 years of our age, and they all had good jobs or successful business ventures going when we met them.

And I hate to burst the bubbles of some of you, but whether you believe it or not, there actually are Thai women who consider other factors as more important than money, especially the older ones. Before meeting me, my wife had the chance to marry an Aussie who really was a millionaire business man who could have given her everything except the one thing she wanted - to stay and live in Thailand where her son of 24 was. When I came along, I explained my finances to her, explaining what 100% military disability is, and how much it comes to. She told me that was fine, and that we could live very happily on that, but that the one thing that mattered most to her was that I actually wanted to live with her IN Thailand. My best friend here was "selected" by his Thai wife because he was the "most polite and respectful" to her of the men she had experience with, even though she also could have had her pick of much "wealthier" men.

As for the OP, I suggest you follow the suggestions of a few others here - Come here, live with her for a couple of years, let the family get to know who you are, and yes, explain to them about your finances. If they really want their daughter to be happy, and aren't gold diggers, they will help you find ways to give the all important "face" to things when it actually comes time for marriage. Talk to your future wife, and her family, and find out if the sin sod WILL be returned to you, and if so, then have g/f or her family borrow it for a couple of days, then repay it with small "interest" as has been suggested by others. I know of a couple of situations where that was done.

One thing to remember is that marrying a Thai woman presents a whole different set of "problems" and "challenges" that you will have to learn how to accept and deal with, but at the same time, don't surrender your own identity and beliefs in the process. The first time I head the comment: "You don't understand Thainess," I just smiled and replied: "You're right, I don't. But on the other hand, you, as a Thai, don't have any concept of anything outside of Thailand, and have no clue about "farangness"."

If you really love this girl, and you're sure she loves you, the two of you will find ways to work things out in a manner that is acceptable to all. Communication is the most important "tool" you have. Use it.

Yes to all of the above, proceed with care and do ensure you have enough money to take care of yourself as well as your G/F. Mother Father if genuine will only want happiness for their daughter. Good luck

[bra]

If you intend to buy gold for Sin Sod it should be presented at the wedding. I suggest this will be good for you as the gold price has been rising for 12 years and gravity has taken over and its on the way down and I think it will continue down for a while yet. When the OP gets married it could be about to turn round again. I knew when this might happen I would not be working on Sunday morning.

Some of the comments about the father of the bride paying for the wedding in other cultures including western countries, where have the contributors been for the past 20 years? In Australia its now common for the bride to pay (women earn good money now - my son's wife paid) ) or the groom's parents if the bride and her parents cant afford it. So don't claim this as a custom now.

Loosing face? I have lived and worked in various countries in Asia for the past 35 years, and learnt the value that some cultures put on face. Never make someone loose face - you can make an enemy for life and that can be very dangerous in family and business relations.

I will marry my Isaan GF next month and shock horror she is an ex bar girl so no insulting comments please. I have known her for 7 years so its not an instant decision and is based on mutual love and respect not money. I will pay modest Sin Sod to her family and I have the greatest respect for them too.

To the OP best of luck for your future in Thailand. Use you judgement about the various comments made in this forum.

[NoshowJones]

You say she is working to support you!

Why aren't you helping? Get a job!

Sent from my GT-P1010 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I may be wrong, but I think there are very few worthwhile jobs a Farang can get in Thailand without a Bachelors Degree, maybe the OP does not have that.

[Nowisee]

I look forward to the Thai woman and her family that try and squeeze me for out of date customs, business, land, house and what ever else money.

I made it through two relationships financially sound where they self destructed financially, by keeping my money safe and separate.

That said, I will always treat my gf (Thai or ...Ethiopian) with respect, kindness and equality and will most likely be very generous. That said, once I identify any deception that cannot be explained she's without me.

Some people are clearly more naive, more trusting, more conservative, more generous .... Blah, blah, blah.

The OP sounds naive and the advice of Kananga, Just1Voice is good.

Im intrigued by these Asian relationships that have money so imbedded in the subject. Makes me think it's so not real. Dunno.

[konjianghai]

If You only want to engage now why not just buy her a ring and a little amount of money on sinsod let say 50.000 baht and keep the party to just family and close friends.

Normally Thai engagement goes along with a wedding short afterward even at the same day. For this you have to pay lots of money for food drink, locations if you want to hold a party in a luxury hotel or cheap at home but then you have to set up tents, chairs ect... Plus paying for sinsod, clothings...you can sum all up.

Best to hold a small party, put a bit of money in, ring or juwelry, you can do cheap at your house have a feel of privacy or you can hold it in a resort/restaurant (rent out for the event) if it makes you feel more official/classy. It would suggest the latter because you then have a control of how many folks you want to invite, if you do at home maybe the whole village will come if they know and perhaps will feel like they are not invited so have some anger, a possible chance is there you know.

By that time you can save up more money for the real wedding, this will eventually cost more.

Dont' worry about saving face, saving face is not everything. If she understand it and don't mind about keeping the posh up for the sake of others. You should not be either but i understand you want to give her the best and showing her that by keeping the rest of the band happy to attent a weathly engament ceremony.

I guess if you look at the essential of this event, what the heart of this ritual is just to bond 2 person up, okay lots of stuff gets involved but then do these stuff last with you at the end? No, so, don't bother too much on objects. Commitment/love/trust and understanding is way more important to make love last.

I wish you lots of luck and happiness with the love of your life.

Edited June 30, 2013 by konjianghai

[PattyR]

First of all let me introduce myself...I am the GF in this topic

Since some of you'd like to know our age; I'm 33 and he's 46. My education is Bachelor degree in Business Management from Davenport University in MI, USA. I was working for several large corporations both overseas and in Bangkok but I decided to start my own business which I manufacture and distribute juice products. I also own a small coffee shop. My family(Chinese-Thai) has their own ice business so they are not expecting any income from me. I also have been married and divorced but no children. So hopefully this clears up some of you guys' questions.

The reason why Sin Sod is an issue here is because my BF insists that he wants to do what is right or expected of him. After all if he's going to live in this country then he should respect its culture and traditions (his word not mine). As for the ceremony, I don't want anything big. Just want a very small and only close friends and family.

(Ok if anyone needs a barf bag now is a good time to grab it) I love my BF very much, I just want to be with him. I believe that obstacles are there for us to overcome together. Honey...(aka Denmyos) my family'll love you for the fact that you make me happy.

That's my two cents....for now! By the way thank you for all the best wishes, hope the same for you guys too.

Edited June 30, 2013 by PattyR

[David48]

First of all let me introduce myself...I am the GF in this topic

Since some of you'd like to know our age; I'm 33 and he's 46. My education is Bachelor degree in Business Management from Davenport University in MI, USA. I was working for several large corporations both overseas and in Bangkok but I decided to start my own business which I manufacture and distribute juice products. I also own a small coffee shop. My family(Chinese-Thai) has their own ice business so they are not expecting any income from me. I also have been married and divorced but no children. So hopefully this clears up some of you guys' questions.

The reason why Sin Sod is an issue here is because my BF insists that he wants to do what is right or expected of him. After all if he's going to live in this country then he should respect its culture and traditions (his word not mine). As for the ceremony, I don't want anything big. Just want a very small and only close friends and family.

(Ok if anyone needs a barf bag now is a good time to grab it) I love my BF very much, I just want to be with him. I believe that obstacles are there for us to overcome together. Honey...(aka Denmyos) my family'll love you for the fact that you make me happy.

That's my two cents....for now! By the way thank you for all the best wishes, hope the same for you guys too.

Welcome to ThaiVisa ...

AFP. That is truly an awesome first post ...

Denmyos is truly lucky to have such a highly educated Chinese-Thai woman such as yourself.

Up until now, I've heard unsavoury reports on English tuition within the Thai education system, but they would appear unfounded as your grasp of slang, grammar, spelling and sentence construction puts many here on the Forum, native English speakers, to shame.

My Thai dentist was also educated to the States and has nowhere near such a good grasp of the language.

With all your credentials, you could have the choice of almost any man, Thailand or Farang, it certainly it must be true love for you both.

The pressure from your wealthy Thai-Chinese family must be enormous to have a Big Face, large wedding ... are a strong individual ...

I wish you both good luck and since you are here to help your bf on Thai Visa, my input is no longer required.

Since you have joined the Forum, there are many other areas that might interest you.

A Forum especially dedicated to Female subjects ... the choice is almost ended.

But, if you can be generous with your time, having experienced both Thai and Farang culture, excellent English comprehension and being both Thai and a Female, your advice to many men, new to Thailand would assist them immensely to bridge the Cultural divide.

I look forward to reading more of you here ...

.

[jpinx]

First of all let me introduce myself...I am the GF in this topic

Since some of you'd like to know our age; I'm 33 and he's 46. My education is Bachelor degree in Business Management from Davenport University in MI, USA. I was working for several large corporations both overseas and in Bangkok but I decided to start my own business which I manufacture and distribute juice products. I also own a small coffee shop. My family(Chinese-Thai) has their own ice business so they are not expecting any income from me. I also have been married and divorced but no children. So hopefully this clears up some of you guys' questions.

The reason why Sin Sod is an issue here is because my BF insists that he wants to do what is right or expected of him. After all if he's going to live in this country then he should respect its culture and traditions (his word not mine). As for the ceremony, I don't want anything big. Just want a very small and only close friends and family.

(Ok if anyone needs a barf bag now is a good time to grab it) I love my BF very much, I just want to be with him. I believe that obstacles are there for us to overcome together. Honey...(aka Denmyos) my family'll love you for the fact that you make me happy.

That's my two cents....for now! By the way thank you for all the best wishes, hope the same for you guys too.

Welcome and thank you for entering the lion's den

For starters I want to wish you both all the best for everything in your lives. Domestic and social pressures can be a killer in relationships - maybe you should consider a new life in Hawaii (or should that be Ecuador?)

Joking aside -- You have probably seen the comments in here and some - including my own - are cynical to a greater or lesser extent. I would be really happy if you can explain to us farang guys how to deal with the whole history of thai culture which leads us to have these cynical opinions. I say this without rancour because I have a great girlfriend now, but many guys have had some terrible experiences. Look at this for an extreme example......

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/406005-abdution-of-my-daughter-by-my-thai-wife/

11 pages spanning 3 years of misery for a farang who fell foul of a femme-fatale of Thailand.

By the way -- your written English is excellent.

Edited July 1, 2013 by jpinx

[Kananga]

First of all let me introduce myself...I am the GF in this topic

Since some of you'd like to know our age; I'm 33 and he's 46. My education is Bachelor degree in Business Management from Davenport University in MI, USA. I was working for several large corporations both overseas and in Bangkok but I decided to start my own business which I manufacture and distribute juice products. I also own a small coffee shop. My family(Chinese-Thai) has their own ice business so they are not expecting any income from me. I also have been married and divorced but no children. So hopefully this clears up some of you guys' questions.

The reason why Sin Sod is an issue here is because my BF insists that he wants to do what is right or expected of him. After all if he's going to live in this country then he should respect its culture and traditions (his word not mine). As for the ceremony, I don't want anything big. Just want a very small and only close friends and family.

(Ok if anyone needs a barf bag now is a good time to grab it) I love my BF very much, I just want to be with him. I believe that obstacles are there for us to overcome together. Honey...(aka Denmyos) my family'll love you for the fact that you make me happy.

That's my two cents....for now! By the way thank you for all the best wishes, hope the same for you guys too.

Welcome to ThaiVisa ...

AFP. That is truly an awesome first post ...

Denmyos is truly lucky to have such a highly educated Chinese-Thai woman such as yourself.

Up until now, I've heard unsavoury reports on English tuition within the Thai education system, but they would appear unfounded as your grasp of slang, grammar, spelling and sentence construction puts many here on the Forum, native English speakers, to shame.

My Thai dentist was also educated to the States and has nowhere near such a good grasp of the language.

With all your credentials, you could have the choice of almost any man, Thailand or Farang, it certainly it must be true love for you both.

The pressure from your wealthy Thai-Chinese family must be enormous to have a Big Face, large wedding ... are a strong individual ...

I wish you both good luck and since you are here to help your bf on Thai Visa, my input is no longer required.

Since you have joined the Forum, there are many other areas that might interest you.

A Forum especially dedicated to Female subjects ... the choice is almost ended.

But, if you can be generous with your time, having experienced both Thai and Farang culture, excellent English comprehension and being both Thai and a Female, your advice to many men, new to Thailand would assist them immensely to bridge the Cultural divide.

I look forward to reading more of you here ...

.

What exactly is 'farang' culture? Don't you mean American culture?

[rgs2001uk]

First of all let me introduce myself...I am the GF in this topic

Since some of you'd like to know our age; I'm 33 and he's 46. My education is Bachelor degree in Business Management from Davenport University in MI, USA. I was working for several large corporations both overseas and in Bangkok but I decided to start my own business which I manufacture and distribute juice products. I also own a small coffee shop. My family(Chinese-Thai) has their own ice business so they are not expecting any income from me. I also have been married and divorced but no children. So hopefully this clears up some of you guys' questions.

The reason why Sin Sod is an issue here is because my BF insists that he wants to do what is right or expected of him. After all if he's going to live in this country then he should respect its culture and traditions (his word not mine). As for the ceremony, I don't want anything big. Just want a very small and only close friends and family.

(Ok if anyone needs a barf bag now is a good time to grab it) I love my BF very much, I just want to be with him. I believe that obstacles are there for us to overcome together. Honey...(aka Denmyos) my family'll love you for the fact that you make me happy.

That's my two cents....for now! By the way thank you for all the best wishes, hope the same for you guys too.

Welcome to ThaiVisa ...

AFP. That is truly an awesome first post ...

Denmyos is truly lucky to have such a highly educated Chinese-Thai woman such as yourself.

Up until now, I've heard unsavoury reports on English tuition within the Thai education system, but they would appear unfounded as your grasp of slang, grammar, spelling and sentence construction puts many here on the Forum, native English speakers, to shame.

My Thai dentist was also educated to the States and has nowhere near such a good grasp of the language.

With all your credentials, you could have the choice of almost any man, Thailand or Farang, it certainly it must be true love for you both.

The pressure from your wealthy Thai-Chinese family must be enormous to have a Big Face, large wedding ... are a strong individual ...

I wish you both good luck and since you are here to help your bf on Thai Visa, my input is no longer required.

Since you have joined the Forum, there are many other areas that might interest you.

A Forum especially dedicated to Female subjects ... the choice is almost ended.

But, if you can be generous with your time, having experienced both Thai and Farang culture, excellent English comprehension and being both Thai and a Female, your advice to many men, new to Thailand would assist them immensely to bridge the Cultural divide.

I look forward to reading more of you here ...

.

What exactly is 'farang' culture? Don't you mean American culture?

What exactly is Thai culture, and does it differ from Khmer (Issan) culture?

[Kananga]

First of all let me introduce myself...I am the GF in this topic

Since some of you'd like to know our age; I'm 33 and he's 46. My education is Bachelor degree in Business Management from Davenport University in MI, USA. I was working for several large corporations both overseas and in Bangkok but I decided to start my own business which I manufacture and distribute juice products. I also own a small coffee shop. My family(Chinese-Thai) has their own ice business so they are not expecting any income from me. I also have been married and divorced but no children. So hopefully this clears up some of you guys' questions.

The reason why Sin Sod is an issue here is because my BF insists that he wants to do what is right or expected of him. After all if he's going to live in this country then he should respect its culture and traditions (his word not mine). As for the ceremony, I don't want anything big. Just want a very small and only close friends and family.

(Ok if anyone needs a barf bag now is a good time to grab it) I love my BF very much, I just want to be with him. I believe that obstacles are there for us to overcome together. Honey...(aka Denmyos) my family'll love you for the fact that you make me happy.

That's my two cents....for now! By the way thank you for all the best wishes, hope the same for you guys too.

Welcome to ThaiVisa ...

AFP. That is truly an awesome first post ...

Denmyos is truly lucky to have such a highly educated Chinese-Thai woman such as yourself.

Up until now, I've heard unsavoury reports on English tuition within the Thai education system, but they would appear unfounded as your grasp of slang, grammar, spelling and sentence construction puts many here on the Forum, native English speakers, to shame.

My Thai dentist was also educated to the States and has nowhere near such a good grasp of the language.

With all your credentials, you could have the choice of almost any man, Thailand or Farang, it certainly it must be true love for you both.

The pressure from your wealthy Thai-Chinese family must be enormous to have a Big Face, large wedding ... are a strong individual ...

I wish you both good luck and since you are here to help your bf on Thai Visa, my input is no longer required.

Since you have joined the Forum, there are many other areas that might interest you.

A Forum especially dedicated to Female subjects ... the choice is almost ended.

But, if you can be generous with your time, having experienced both Thai and Farang culture, excellent English comprehension and being both Thai and a Female, your advice to many men, new to Thailand would assist them immensely to bridge the Cultural divide.

I look forward to reading more of you here ...

.

What exactly is 'farang' culture? Don't you mean American culture?

What exactly is Thai culture, and does it differ from Khmer (Issan) culture?

I am assuming you mean Lao (Issan) culture and not Khmer, unless of course you specifically mean the lower provinces of Issan such as Surin where some people also speak Khmer?

[David48]

But, if you can be generous with your time, having experienced both Thai and Farang culture, excellent English comprehension and being both Thai and a Female, your advice to many men, new to Thailand would assist them immensely to bridge the Cultural divide.

I look forward to reading more of you here ... .

What exactly is 'farang' culture? Don't you mean American culture?

Sounds like a topic for discussion to be asked in the General Forum ... I'll defer to you on that one.

OH, when you say 'American' ... do you mean the United States, Canada, or a nation in South America?

.

[rgs2001uk]

Post #88,

I actually meant the culture found round Surin/Buriram area, not that it matters either will do.

No mention of northern hill tribe culture, is it part of Thai culture?

What about Viet influences, do they count as part of Thai culture?

Lets move on down south, is it also considered part of Thai culture?

Havent even got started on the religious differences, do they come under Thai culture?

The farang too often is passed off with any old toss thats dressed up as "Thai tradition", when its nothing of the sort.

Have a look at the funerals carried out in Bkk and Issan for starters.

Have a look at the monk piss up parties carried out in both areas, one seems to be nothing more than a show of face and a waste of money, the other is a dignified affair, is one more Thai than the other?