Older Men – Attitude and Personality

[Old Croc]

I've been a grumpy bastard all my life. A lifelong friend has me listed as Grumblebum on his phone.

Nothing has changed in my dotage, except I now have more time to exhibit my skills and, with this forum, more material to work with.

[hellodolly]

"It is all a state of mind not the age". This is it exactly, you are only as old as you feel. I am much more at home with younger people because they keep you going. Even when I was involved in coaching sport I found that I was able to go down to the kids levels and associate easily with them and get them to play a much better quality of game than other coaches. When you think old you become old, I am still not believed when people find out my age, most take me as much younger. Just that my body doesnt realize this, bugger, bugger, bugger............

B S

You can believe you are any age you want to believe but your body will not always listen.

I think like a younger person and there was a time when I was associated with a lot of them but my body still got old.

Believe any crap you want. I am 71 and at the age of 69 my body got older. today I am unable to go play with the younger ones and honest enough to except it. I am an outsider to them. I just slow them down. But my mind is still running the mile in five minutes.

As for younger ones disrespecting the experience of the older ones. How many of them think they know better than the experienced ones. Of course they are going to get rebuffed by the experienced ones. I was the stubborn one who stayed around long enough to learn the rite and the easiest way. Generally it was like the old timers at it did it.

In the job I did I was the old experianced one and went through a lot of know it all's who just couldent make the grade doing it their way. In addition I commanded respect from my employers and the other business companies I had to deal with.

[hellodolly]

Grumpy old man syndrome is really a biological fact.

With falling testosterone levels men naturally become grumpy.

And if you add to that life experience and dealing with idiots all your life and trying to be patient with them well it all becomes to much for many.

Of course I dont fall into that category....

Now lets all go to supplement that test ill supply the needles the world would be a better place

I am not sure you are right there as I am quite sure my good old dad does not ad any testosterone to his body. But it is known that testosterone has an impact on mood.

It doesnt have to be one thing or the other.

I mean you can be a grumpy type but still active, intelligent, good company etc but just have a grumpy nature.

And you can be grumpy, mean spirited unhappy, bad company etc

I prefer sarcasm

[squarethecircle]

A good doctor once said "you're only as old as the last time you changed your mind". I hope to never grow mentally old, but it must be annoying to deal with know-it-all young brats as well.

[mrdome]

It's been my experience that the traits we were born with and developed along the way only increase in strength as the years pass.

[robblok]

I agree with you, I think it is all the medication they take for their blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetes. That being said I just turned 65 yesterday and I don’t want to hang out with them either. I hang out with mostly younger Thais and have a great time. I go with them camping, hiking and party with them. I ride my bike every morning at 6 to 7 AM I also walk 7 kilometer and work out weight training 3 to 4 days a week. My doctor says my body is that of a 40 year old. I take no medication only vitamins daily. It is all a state of mind not the age. If I don’t take care of myself I will turn out like them and that is scary.

Enjoy Life,

Randy

Do you hang out with younger people maybe because you don't want to admit that your old too now? Just asking. With respect.

He is just a guy that takes care of his body and so he does not need to stay with the older group who look old and fat (in general). If you live an active life and eat healthy you can keep up with a younger age group. No need to stay with the average people in your own group.

Most people have no idea what is possible and are to lazy to do so.

[puukao]

This is a HUMAN question; applicable anywhere in the world. But it can be fun to generalize, as long as you don't take yourself too seriously.

ages 0-10. super nice, non-threatening, fun. (remember, all generalizing)

ages 11-15. super sensitive, confronting, argumentative

ages 16-19. independent, confident, sensitive

ages 20-25 knows everything, owns the universe, self-absorbant

ages 26-30 maturing slightly, questioning, slightly insecure

ages 30-35 more mature, more relaxed, still on edge at times

ages 36-45 doesn't care what others think of them

ages 45-65 political, still doesn't care

ages 65+ really doesn't care what others think

so grumpy could be a form of "i don't care what you think" and a non-PC way to vent. I don't like it, but i get it. too much of any age group drives me mad.

[MrHammer]

I really think it depends on who you meet, some of those oldies are infuriating and others are good. It depends on how flexible and happy they are. As my dad is aging he is still great and even gets better.

Many OAP that I met think they deserve respect because of their age, like it is something special to reach a certain age. You don't have to do anything for it its not a badge of honor. Real accomplishments and character that is what counts not reaching a certain age. If your dumb at 18 reaching 65 does not make you any smarter. If you have real character and really did something you get the respect without asking for it.

This, but I'd like to encourage the older guys to try to reach out and socialize with younger people. Being 31 myself, I am old as dirt to a 16 year old and a child to a 60 year old, yet I know people in their 50s and people in their late teens who are really no different to me as friends and aquintances because they are positive and smart enough to understand that age isn't a divising factor. Older guys who are willing to share their experiences while still being respectfull of younger people seem to me to be universally well liked.

[northernjohn]

I agree with you, I think it is all the medication they take for their blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetes. That being said I just turned 65 yesterday and I don’t want to hang out with them either. I hang out with mostly younger Thais and have a great time. I go with them camping, hiking and party with them. I ride my bike every morning at 6 to 7 AM I also walk 7 kilometer and work out weight training 3 to 4 days a week. My doctor says my body is that of a 40 year old. I take no medication only vitamins daily. It is all a state of mind not the age. If I don’t take care of myself I will turn out like them and that is scary.

Enjoy Life,

Randy

Do you hang out with younger people maybe because you don't want to admit that your old too now? Just asking. With respect.

He is just a guy that takes care of his body and so he does not need to stay with the older group who look old and fat (in general). If you live an active life and eat healthy you can keep up with a younger age group. No need to stay with the average people in your own group.

Most people have no idea what is possible and are to lazy to do so.

With all due respect maybe you two want to explain what I could have done to have stopped arthritis from destroying my hip which I had replaced and a knee that is going down hill now. All so starting to feel it in my knuckles now

Yes I get a bit grumpy when I hear nonsense like you two are spewing. Maybe you will get lucky and die before old age catches up to you. I was 68 or 69 when it caught up to me. Fortunately it wasn't that hard to accept because of other things happening around me. I still had a little work excepting I was old. But I still think young only now I have both feet planted firmly on the ground.

I suppose with the attitude you two have and others like you, you are not making any plans for your spouses because you take care of your self's and never will get old and pass away.

Fire away I am old and can take it.

[cpofc]

I can understand why some young blokes sometimes feel the way they do about 'grumpy old men'. Experience is a great teacher.

In the Mid 70's I had a GF in Wanchai, Hong Kong. She was well known and respected in both Wanchai and Kowloon. She was quite older than me, At first we were just good friends and drinking oppos but that eventually lead to other things. No she was not a 'Bar Girl' as most know them to be in places like Pattaya and Cowboy. Alot of people were very surprised when she had a relationship with a westerner, me.

One afternoon we were having a drink and eats together in the Club when a very old English gentleman came in. I had seen him around the traps before but had no idea who he was.

He would sit tucked away in the corner, on his own. The girls would flock around him and make a big fuss of him. He didn't pay bar prices. The girls would take his money and go outside the bar and buy large bottles of San Mig at the grocery shop and take them back to the bar for him. Something I had never seen the Chinese allow before or since. it wasn't as if he didn't have a quid. He was well dressed and well groomed. Sort of aristorcratic you could say. White hair, in his 70s at least. It was plain to see the local Chinese had alot of respect for him.

My GF, Anna, was very keen to introduce me to him. He spoke Chinese like a native and according to her he was a fair dinkum 'Old China Hand'. He had been in China most of his life, well before WW2. I said for Anna not to worry about it, but she insisted. They were very old friends and she was most eager for me to meet him. Me too really, I was interested in hearing his story.

So she lead me over to the table, some of the other girls were sitting around him. He sat there with his head bowed looking directly down at the table. I stuck out my hand to shake his and said something like, Hello, nice to meet you. He said nothing. He did not look up. He refused to look up. He would not even acknowledge my presence. I stood there like a shag on a rock, hand outstretched, not knowing what to do. No way was he even going to look at me, let alone shake hands.

Words were exchanged in Cantonese. I really did mind too much, no biggy. But for Anna it was a devastating loss of face. A few long term friendships were destroyed that afternoon. She was beside herself right through the afternoon and that night, swapping between fits of sobbing and fits of anger.

It was a rotten thing to do. For no good reason. Except that he was just an old bastard. I can remember it like it was yesterday,

I always said I wouldn't ever get like that.

[elgenon]

One thing that can effect the outlook of an elder is the reality that you are old and are going to die in the not too distant future. Not a happy thought. But you have to handle it and be pleasant or your later years will be less happy.

[Naam]

Speaking as a 59 year old, I tend to agree with you and find most old people intolerant and unpleasant to be around, with a few notable exceptions.

i can't stand old men who are 10-15 years younger than i am

[NeverSure]

I always wonder when a doctor tells a 60+ plus year-old that they have the body of a 40 year old what is it they tell those who actually are 40 years old.

If someone in his 60's tells me he has the body of a 40 year old, I tell him he should return it.

[cbluck58]

I am 58 and not grumpy generally - must be because I am content with who I am , who I am with, where I live and how I live and my life in general however.........

When I see people from my native country behaving like animals in my adopted country IT SEVERELY PISSES ME OFF - since these persons are generally younger than me , perhaps they construe my attitude as that of a grumpy old man and perceive me to be just that .

Perception can be altered by circumstance....look at yourself before you look at others.

[ChangMaiSausage]

Simple answer YES.

Many reasons, been there done that attitude.

I imagine once you reach a certain age its possible to switch off (selective hearing) or complain dependant on your frame of mind at the time.

Depends on how long you have lived in Thailand LOL

Edited October 23, 2013 by ChangMaiSausage

[Gandtee]

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

A male knows he has reached 'middle age' when he is driving and his tits bounce when going over a speed bump!

I think this applies more to youngsters now.

[Gsxrnz]

I've found that the majority of older blokes who are pricks were generally pricks when they were younger. When they were young they were called "little prick". As they get older they're called "old pricks".

Being a prick has nothing to do with age, but everything to do with attitude.

I just love it when a little prick and an old prick have an argument - it's impossible for them to have a discussion because of their character traits.

[bocceball1]

"Young men THINK old men are fools; but old men KNOW young men are fools."

[overherebc]

I met an elderly man on the streets of Blackpool, he didn't look happy.

Conclusion: British men in the agegroup 50-70 are bitter and twisted!

And about as Thailand related as the OP.

What a load of generic crap Before you condemn someone ...try and walk and walk a mile in their shoes. Better still try and talk with them...something that Farangs never do in Thailand. Just ignore you even when you greet them by saying good morning...or whenever. Seems like a number of Farangs in Thailand do not posess social skills or common courtesy . Maybe they have their own hang ups that they bring with them from their homelands So leave out the British men 50 - 70, !! I find that most aggressive and ignorant do not come from UK.. So guess where?

Walk a mile in their shoes before you condemn then, and when you do, you will be a mile away and you will have his shoes.

From a grumpy old man

[Theo007]

I am seventy and every time I get behind the wheel of my car here in Pattaya I turn into a grumpy old man!

[monkey4u]

My wife keeps telling me the older I get, the more grumpy i get.

i dont have such a good memory anymore so it may be so

[OxfordWill]

If life isn't going your way, at any age, you become grumpy. Elevated expectations, poor decision making, lack of ability, etc etc all help to cause this and I doubt it has much to do with age. I've met just as many happy oldies and grumpy ones. But the happy ones are usually doing pretty well (defined as whatever causes them to be happy).

[Somnambulist]

Here's two more cents worth. Gross overgeneralizations but true enough often enough.

Cultures around the world have been changing at mind spinning speed. Many grumpy old men of today were raised in families that followed the ethos Children are to be seen and not heard, and Spare the rod, spoil the child. Today families are smaller, having often just one child, who is showered with attention by parents and both sets of grandparents. Educational systems have changed, too. Now it's all about self esteem. Students today (I'm speaking of the U.S.) may not be able to do math or science like previous generations but they feel just great about it because they never get criticized. So we have know-it-all 20-somethings who have been indulged, spoiled and never challenged clashing with old guys who were raised to shut up, work hard and do as they were told. Being only in my early 50s, I feel I'm in between these two groups but I know that my parents never went to schools that told them There's no such thing as a stupid question. It was, keep quiet, pay attention, and memorize the material. So while the older generation may not have been taught communication skills, they may fail to see the need and fume when young people don't show the deference that was (sometimes) beat into them when they were young.

[shaurene]

I am 72 had a very experienced life, ran out of school in Liverpool at 15 walked all the way down the main shopping street called into every shop asking for a job, I got one at a big food shop riding an order bike with a big wicker basket on delivering orders, 3 months later I was given the chance Behring the counter serving, I learnt a lot by listening to my elders and asking things, at 17 I was teaching elder people how to bone sides of bacon pigs out and slicing the bacon.

At 22 I became the youngest supermarket manager for Tesco. I always tried to tell my son, look listen to what people say you do not have to do it their way but just listen you may learn something. In live you have to earn respect and gain trust 2 very important things.

My son thinks he knows every thing and says he is stupid if they do not go his way.

I went to New Zealand when I was 37 to see my brother and he booked a small plane to take us out into the bush for deer shooting, coming back the pilot gave me a go and told me what to do on the stick, he controlled the peddles, when I got back to the UK I decided I was going to fly a plane, I joined a flying school and within 9 months after 48hrs flying I went for my test and gained my PPL private pilots license. I had a mild heart attach when I was 42 and sold my business and bought a wreck of a steel boat 58ft I spent 18 months refurbishing it and went to night school and got my skippers ticket and took the boat to Majorca and got a charter license.

But I have always said, you are never to old to learn.

[jpeg]

But living in Pattaya, which is famous for the dubious 'quality' of expats, I find very few who I wish to spend any time with. Honestly, they just seem to be so ignorant,frequently racist, highly critical of everything , not only in LOS but back in the UK and are frankly, dishonest and very devious and untrustworthy..

Just why it is that ex-tradesmen, artisans, lorry-drivers and the like, think they are God's gift to the skills of running a bar in a country where they don't even speak the rudiments of the language, and have zero experience in the catering or entertainment industry is totally beyond the powers of my grey hairs to comprehend.

I have had the exact same experience with old men on Bournemouth-on-Sea, aka Phuket.

I used to mix with all different ages in the UK and found the majority of the old ones good and interesting company. NOT so here. A more miserable self obsessed closeted know-it-all bunch of old farts I've had the misfortune to stay well out of the way of On the other hand, the ones who've made Bangkok their home are much more engaging, IMO.

[robertson468]

Grumpy old man syndrome is really a biological fact.

With falling testosterone levels men naturally become grumpy.

And if you add to that life experience and dealing with idiots all your life and trying to be patient with them well it all becomes to much for many.

Of course I dont fall into that category....

Now lets all go to supplement that test ill supply the needles the world would be a better place

I am not sure you are right there as I am quite sure my good old dad does not ad any testosterone to his body. But it is known that testosterone has an impact on mood.

Exercise everyday and you will release testosterone into your system, which gives you the feel good factor. If you feel good, you are less likely to be grumpy. As a young 69 year old next month, I still thoroughly enjoy flirting with the Girls and going out for a few beers with my young male friends. My aim is to keep running as long as possible combined with anarobic exercise afterwards. This helps to maintain a good blood flow through the body and sustain bone density. My only worry is someone several years ago bought me an unbreakable mug with "GRUMPY OLD GIT" in capital multi coloured letters - really can't understand that at all. Must have been bought for someone else

[ExpatOilWorker]

I am 72 had a very experienced life, ran out of school in Liverpool at 15 walked all the way down the main shopping street called into every shop asking for a job, I got one at a big food shop riding an order bike with a big wicker basket on delivering orders, 3 months later I was given the chance Behring the counter serving, I learnt a lot by listening to my elders and asking things, at 17 I was teaching elder people how to bone sides of bacon pigs out and slicing the bacon.

At 22 I became the youngest supermarket manager for Tesco. I always tried to tell my son, look listen to what people say you do not have to do it their way but just listen you may learn something. In live you have to earn respect and gain trust 2 very important things.

My son thinks he knows every thing and says he is stupid if they do not go his way.

I went to New Zealand when I was 37 to see my brother and he booked a small plane to take us out into the bush for deer shooting, coming back the pilot gave me a go and told me what to do on the stick, he controlled the peddles, when I got back to the UK I decided I was going to fly a plane, I joined a flying school and within 9 months after 48hrs flying I went for my test and gained my PPL private pilots license. I had a mild heart attach when I was 42 and sold my business and bought a wreck of a steel boat 58ft I spent 18 months refurbishing it and went to night school and got my skippers ticket and took the boat to Majorca and got a charter license.

But I have always said, you are never to old to learn.

At 72 are you still the same old open minded and energetic self or do you see signs of an age related tendency to be less patience and tolerant to other people?

[Gandtee]

My twelve year old nephew from Bangkok has stayed with us for the last couple of weeks to meet up with my son. My son sails every day so he cannot be with the nephew until the evenings. During his stay he has refused to go to see his old pals at the sailing club or venture out of the house. He is content to sit from morning till the time my son comes home, watch cartoons on the TV, play computer games and stuff his face with food. This is making me exceedingly grumpy. If he was my son I would kick his arse, but as my wife, the appeaser, says 'it's only for a short time and he is not your kid so leave him alone to do as he pleases'.Is this not the attitude that has made Thailand and many other countries including my own, what they have become? No wonder we old farts get grumpy. The world is going to the dogs. I'm off for a beer!

[crumpled]

I always wonder when a doctor tells a 60+ plus year-old that they have the body of a 40 year old what is it they tell those who actually are 40 years old.

If someone in his 60's tells me he has the body of a 40 year old, I tell him he should return it.

And get a younger one

[FiftyTwo]

I am 72 had a very experienced life, ran out of school in Liverpool at 15 walked all the way down the main shopping street called into every shop asking for a job, I got one at a big food shop riding an order bike with a big wicker basket on delivering orders, 3 months later I was given the chance Behring the counter serving, I learnt a lot by listening to my elders and asking things, at 17 I was teaching elder people how to bone sides of bacon pigs out and slicing the bacon.

At 22 I became the youngest supermarket manager for Tesco. I always tried to tell my son, look listen to what people say you do not have to do it their way but just listen you may learn something. In live you have to earn respect and gain trust 2 very important things.

My son thinks he knows every thing and says he is stupid if they do not go his way.

I went to New Zealand when I was 37 to see my brother and he booked a small plane to take us out into the bush for deer shooting, coming back the pilot gave me a go and told me what to do on the stick, he controlled the peddles, when I got back to the UK I decided I was going to fly a plane, I joined a flying school and within 9 months after 48hrs flying I went for my test and gained my PPL private pilots license. I had a mild heart attach when I was 42 and sold my business and bought a wreck of a steel boat 58ft I spent 18 months refurbishing it and went to night school and got my skippers ticket and took the boat to Majorca and got a charter license.

But I have always said, you are never to old to learn.

Your post implies you stopped learning at age 42.

I'm not that impressed!