Why Thai women is so casual about spouse infidelity?

[Scarpolo]

oldest trap in the book trust me coming from a woman and i shouldnt be saying this secret but the only reason we ever say were ok with it is i we are joking about to get you to tell the truth then if youbare and idiot and fall for it then thats when true feelings come out lol

finally,

the voice of truth and reason,

its hard to believe that any woman wants to be made a mockery of

and, I may not understand fully, face,

but, the female must feel inadequate if her man has to seek sex elsewhere

[Scarpolo]

Berkshire

I'm not really happy with it . One time I had to drive her to the meeting point , on the way she asked my advice on good sex . I said do it the way you

always do it , which is pretty off puting . She remembered she hadn't put in a nightgown , so we stopped at a big store and I bought her one , I couldn't

let her go without one . I belong to a site called LushStories.com and have correspondence friends who have very open marriages and share with me all their infedelities , every detail . One compensation is that when my wife returns she knows I expect her to give me all the sex I like , however I like it .

My wife is an educated woman 2 university degrees and has a professional job . But sex to Thais seems to be just like having a pee or a poo , there seems

to be little emotion involved .

Now you make sense OP,

you belong to a swingers website, and you are trying out your kink thoughts on the unsuspecting,

you are not credible

[Scarpolo]

IME Thai ladies may like to giggle and tease you about this subject, but do it and you'll be like Mr. Bobbick.

My wife always teases me, about using escorts and massages when I'm travelling - knowing full well that I don't. She'll tease me about eyeing up nice looking girls etc. All in good fun.

Having an affair - she'd go bananas ! I dread to think the nastiness, physical and mental that would come out, and you could forget any kind of reasonableness. And, she's normally a very calm good natured person. Do this and they see it as a snub of their love, sexiness, and massive loss of face. They say Thailand is a small place and everyone will know, look down and laugh at them. This thought drives them crazy - and violent.

This is my experience of normal Thai ladies - not the bar girl or professional sex workers. I've no idea if they'd be more tolerant or not. Possibly, as they're more concerned with money.

Great Post! Especially the part about the "Massive Loss of Face" to them for us being unfaithful. I couldn't agree more!

Since you have enlightened us on your experience, perhaps I can do the same concerning the "Working Girl". Before I met my Thai Wife I had a couple of years to Bach it here. I was working one month on then one month off. Which I came here to enjoy that time off, as any single man would like to do. Tested the Fish Pond for awhile but finally settled for one Bar Girl for about 6 months.

On one of my many trips here I decided I wanted to go fishing again for a few nights. Figured Omn wouldn't mind, considering the business she is in. Would even throw her a couple of Thousand, so she would not loss any money, giving me and her this time away. But after I paid her Bar Fine, and then her to, that she was surprised at as I always paid the next day, I told her not to come over that night.

She was simply heart broken. I saw that in her face right away. Hell, if someone paid me the same to stay home and not work, I would have been happy. Anyway, and without her knowing, I saw her later that night as she spent the whole night just walking around outside back of my hotel, from a distance. I saw her when I peeped out my window, which faced the back on the 4th floor, and for no particular reason. Had I left she would have never known, except for the light being turned-off. Which could also mean I went to bed early, and like I did very often after many drinks.

I decided not to go out that night after all, but not because of this. I just decided that I preferred to stay in my room alone that night, and play with my computer. When I called Omn to come over early the next morning she was there in a flash. I figured she got dressed while running to my hotel down the street.

She asked me about my night and was so happy to hear that I decided not to be with anyone else then. I won't call this love! But it also can't be money, as I paid her the same as if she was with me. Although she ran the risk of losing me to someone else, which is money I guess. But I had been with many other before her, and she knew we got along great together now. She knew my habits and I could trust her. So no reason for me to want to change.

For me it was actually far more of a big surprise then anything else. I had to ask her why it bother her so much, as when I am away working she might be sleeping with 20 or 30 men. In shock, I will never forget her answer. She simply said to me, with a very serious and straight face, "But that is different P.....!" "That is Work!" We both moved on, as friends, but I can never forget those words.

I also met many other Bar Girls who many were married at that time to a Thai Husband. Many of them were very happy married together and planning a child later on. One even had a couple of kids together already. But in all of them that I met, their Husbands knew they worked as Bar Girls and approved of it. I guess now, for the money, but mostly for the same reason I already mentioned. "That it is only Work".

So their you have it in a nutshell. A Bar Girl, Working Girl, or Professional Sex Worker as you called them, have an unusual job, but still always liked to be treated like a Lady. But above all else, they are still, and will always remain, Very Proud and Jealous Thai Women. In this I am sure!

Is it possible that your entire long story, was a shiton of gibberish and you only made sense in your past paragrapgh?

I have to go clean up the barf now

[Scarpolo]

my wife of 3 years told me after we were 'thai' married that she did not like sex so it was ok for me to get a mianoi...second wife. so stupid me, i did. she found out after about 2 weeks, said her heart was no good for me anymore and left. all i did was do what she told me to do.

do not fall into that trap.

after 2 years gone she came back, much to my delight. but was living with another woman at that time. as i had been up front with her from day one, telling her that i was married and if my wife came back she would have to leave. so she left and my wife came back.

the new girl sent me an sms asking how i was.

my wife read it, deleted it, said she was having lunch with a friend, came

back 2 days later and moved out, telling to get the other girl.

so, matter what they say, tell you or push you to do. DON'T.

I still have my dick and money, house, land and car but that is another story.

you are much better off staying with what you have. we had fun, she was a good cook, funny, good driver, took good care of me, watched my money closer than i did.

now i sit here alone watching law and order.

should have gotten a new sim card and number

You actually threw out a good current woman, for one who already flaked out on you?

Why?

[umbanda]

That would depend on your definition of infidelity. I have been with many normal Thai women who say it is fine for a man to go have sex with someone, but that is where it ends. I hold the same views. To me, a pole in a hole is not infidelity. Infidelity is when you start spending time with and caring for someone who is not your significant other.

If for you is fine to have sex outside the marriage just for fun......may be your wife think that will be fine for her too...just for fun. Do you agree?

[umbanda]

I had a thai lady who just wasnt interested in sex. When we first met, she would prance topless and have sex frequently. After we were together for a bit, she said she is not interested in sex, but to get farang bf, need to give sex quick.

She said I could have a gik or mia noi, but she needs to approve of the lady

Interesting..

In just 3 years I met so many Thai women with exactly the same behavior....and I met so many Thai men having 2 or 3 "wives" with each one knowing the existence of the others....even meeting them.....and a Thai man living together with 2 "wives"....His first older..and a new younger....Took some time for the real wife to divorce him.....I think that Thai women really do not like to be cheated....but are accepting it for many reasons.....

I am talking about mid class to high class mid age Thai people. Probably doesn't happen with younger people. One reason may be that most of Thai women after 40 believes that are too old to be much interested in sex.....I met so many of those too.....

That's why I started this topic....

[Scarpolo]

I had a thai lady who just wasnt interested in sex. When we first met, she would prance topless and have sex frequently. After we were together for a bit, she said she is not interested in sex, but to get farang bf, need to give sex quick.

She said I could have a gik or mia noi, but she needs to approve of the lady

Interesting..

In just 3 years I met so many Thai women with exactly the same behavior....and I met so many Thai men having 2 or 3 "wives" with each one knowing the existence of the others....even meeting them.....and a Thai man living together with 2 "wives"....His first older..and a new younger....Took some time for the real wife to divorce him.....I think that Thai women really do not like to be cheated....but are accepting it for many reasons.....

I am talking about mid class to high class mid age Thai people. Probably doesn't happen with younger people. One reason may be that most of Thai women after 40 believes that are too old to be much interested in sex.....I met so many of those too.....

That's why I started this topic....

After 40?

they better cut down on their pork consumption,

You probaby mean, in their 50's

[umbanda]

I had a thai lady who just wasnt interested in sex. When we first met, she would prance topless and have sex frequently. After we were together for a bit, she said she is not interested in sex, but to get farang bf, need to give sex quick.

She said I could have a gik or mia noi, but she needs to approve of the lady

Interesting..

In just 3 years I met so many Thai women with exactly the same behavior....and I met so many Thai men having 2 or 3 "wives" with each one knowing the existence of the others....even meeting them.....and a Thai man living together with 2 "wives"....His first older..and a new younger....Took some time for the real wife to divorce him.....I think that Thai women really do not like to be cheated....but are accepting it for many reasons.....

I am talking about mid class to high class mid age Thai people. Probably doesn't happen with younger people. One reason may be that most of Thai women after 40 believes that are too old to be much interested in sex.....I met so many of those too.....

That's why I started this topic....

After 40?

they better cut down on their pork consumption,

You probaby mean, in their 50's

42, 44, 46 is after 40...or not?..and I am not talking about the ones that don't do, or just do sex and fake to pleasure its partners...I am talking about the one that really likes sex.......So few Thai after 40....comparing with women from other Asian countries...

Probably they feel in that way because Thai men even look to older women....or they do not want to upset Buddha because are not married... or.... Anyway..even .if interested in sex..always they will say that they are too old for this...too old for that....only young women use this...or use that...or do this ..or do that...Just ask. If they can be open with you and sincere...you may have some surprises...

[umbanda]

I had a thai lady who just wasnt interested in sex. When we first met, she would prance topless and have sex frequently. After we were together for a bit, she said she is not interested in sex, but to get farang bf, need to give sex quick.

She said I could have a gik or mia noi, but she needs to approve of the lady

Interesting..

In just 3 years I met so many Thai women with exactly the same behavior....and I met so many Thai men having 2 or 3 "wives" with each one knowing the existence of the others....even meeting them.....and a Thai man living together with 2 "wives"....His first older..and a new younger....Took some time for the real wife to divorce him.....I think that Thai women really do not like to be cheated....but are accepting it for many reasons.....

I am talking about mid class to high class mid age Thai people. Probably doesn't happen with younger people. One reason may be that most of Thai women after 40 believes that are too old to be much interested in sex.....I met so many of those too.....

That's why I started this topic....

After 40?

they better cut down on their pork consumption,

You probaby mean, in their 50's

42, 44, 46 is after 40...or not?..and I am not talking about the ones that don't do, or just do sex and fake to pleasure its partners...I am talking about the one that really likes sex.......non waiting for BF or husband to ask. So few Thai women after 40....comparing with women from other Asian cultures or westerners ......

Probably they feel in that way because Thai men never look to older women....or they do not want to upset Buddha because are not married... or.... Anyway..even .if interested in sex..always they will say that they are too old for this...too old for that....only young women use this...or use that...or do this ..or do that...Just ask. If they can be open with you and sincere...you may have some surprises...

[Scarpolo]

having to "ask" for sex, from a woman over 40?

is there a punch line I am missing?

and you want to know why 50+ year old men, are interested in girls under age 35?

[SPIKECM]

I doubt if you can back up the AIDS figure with any statistics. African countries are all in the top AIDS figures. Women mainly catch AIDS from men anyway...apart from men how else could they contract the disease, apart from needles?

That said, what the aid agencies fail to understand is that a girl working as a prostitute in farang bars in Thailand is at risk, not from her customers, but by her Thai "geek".

Then there is the other side of the coin. A Thai wife married to a Thai man will cheat with a farang. I'm no "hunk" by any means, but have been hit on by attractive Thai women about 40 yo or so who are married. Never took them up on it. I like breathing in and out.

Happens with me too..and always will happen specially with farangs..in any country, but here, to date a married woman is a suicide adventure, for both lovers. In western culture, infidelity is a path to divorce, here is a part of marriage. Anyway.....I posted this question because I saw many Thai men talking freely about affairs, even charming other women, in front of their wives....and doing things that I cannot comment here..I was invited many times by professional Thai married men to go out with them to karaoke bars full of prostitutes.....and with wives knowledge. I come back home alone..them...the next day.

Thailand is the #1 country in the world when HIV is contracted by wives and children because spouse behavior.

I think that is a down side of their culture.

[arthurwait]

You answered your own question in the OP. You are old and ugly she wants someone else to have sex with you so she doesn't have to.

Oh and why do other women accept it ? They don't ones that are financially independent don't they will dump you quicker than a flash.

There are 2 reasons why some accept it.

1. They don't want sex with the husband themselves.

2. They are not financially secure enough to survive on their own and have to put up with it knowing the man will do it anyway.

[In Search of Space]

What she says is not what she means....It's a trap!

Trust me, if you play around and she finds out about it.....You're gonna have hell to pay!

If you live in Thailand......Sooner or later she will find out.

Exactly right, it is a test, see what happens if you say yes, or admit to something - knives & ducks !

Never tell them anything

[Scarpolo]

You answered your own question in the OP. You are old and ugly she wants someone else to have sex with you so she doesn't have to.

Oh and why do other women accept it ? They don't ones that are financially independent don't they will dump you quicker than a flash.

There are 2 reasons why some accept it.

1. They don't want sex with the husband themselves.

2. They are not financially secure enough to survive on their own and have to put up with it knowing the man will do it anyway.

These can be the most dangerous

[Mosha]

I too marvel at Thai womens view of sex and fidelity . Prostitution is seen as a legitimate source of income , not as something to be frowned on .

My wife started combing Thai dating sites for a man for a widowed friend . Then she started looking for a rich man for herself , getting me to write to

them or write the chat . Eventually she found one coming to Thailand who wanted to date her . She had been doing this so long that I felt she needed to

get it out of her system . I let her go two times for a couple of nights each with an elderly man , but insisted that she got money or more discreetly gold. The first time she got a 2bt necklace and the second time a 1bt bracelet to match . I said to her that's prostitution , what's that she said . The man

thought he'd been talked out of a lot of money and didn't ask her again . My wife is post menopause and doesn't like sex , so he didn't get much joy out of it .

If I was to go with another woman , my wife would be so jealous , she tell me to pack my bags and leave , go back to your own country .

I know of a woman who's husband couldn't keep his dick under control when she was pregnant. He and his wife are now dead, and 4 kids orphaned. At least she found homes for them all.

[Scarpolo]

she offed him?

[LOWH]

Hey guys, let me tell you a woman's secret. We are jealous always, no matter what, we will be jealous.

But there's a rule of jealousy... it's only and exclusive for the beloved one.

Only reason your woman isn't jealous if you have someone else, it's because she have someone else as well.

[Duggsie]

What she says is not what she means....It's a trap!

Trust me, if you play around and she finds out about it.....You're gonna have hell to pay!

If you live in Thailand......Sooner or later she will find out.

Exactly right, it is a test, see what happens if you say yes, or admit to something - knives & ducks !

Never tell them anything

Agreed.

And don't even flirt, for that matter. Leastways not if your woman is around or your doing so on your own doorstep within sight of anyone (everyone) who will be only too eager to ensure she can find out and suffer a huge "loss of face" as a result.

Gab-gab (quack-quack).

[Fookhaht]

Why?

After the Thai guy hits 45 or 50 and has a little success under his belt, getting the "Mia Noi" is the natural next step/thrill. It's embedded in the culture.

Why the wife's casual attitude? "If you can't lick 'em, join 'em."

She'll play too, given the right farang with a bulge in his wallet/pants.

[Esso49]

On 1/21/2014 at 10:41 AM, tonypace02 said:

Or maybe it is because Thai women themselves are the second worst female cheaters in the world. Thai men were the worst male cheaters.

"Women from Ghana and Thailand landed the top spots as the world’s most unfaithful lovers in a new survey.
According to the survey carried out by condom producer Durex on 29,000 women in 36 countries, Malaysian women came third - 39 per cent admitting they often cheat on their mates, behind Ghana (62 per cent) and Thailand (59 per cent).
Full Story: http://www.indianexp...l-study/993788/

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/580258-women-from-ghana-and-thailand-most-unfaithful-study/"

And in a country where corruption is the norm,  then it is only money that matters and infidelity is a minor issue

[Mavideol]

On 1/17/2014 at 9:10 AM, CraigSchuler said:

What she says is not what she means....It's a trap!

Trust me, if you play around and she finds out about it.....You're gonna have hell to pay!

If you live in Thailand......Sooner or later she will find out.

and better sleep with eyes wide open or wake up in the morning with missing parts mostly between the legs

[madusa]

On 1/21/2014 at 10:51 AM, Baerboxer said:

IME Thai ladies may like to giggle and tease you about this subject, but do it and you'll be like Mr. Bobbick.

My wife always teases me, about using escorts and massages when I'm travelling - knowing full well that I don't. She'll tease me about eyeing up nice looking girls etc. All in good fun.

Having an affair - she'd go bananas ! I dread to think the nastiness, physical and mental that would come out, and you could forget any kind of reasonableness. And, she's normally a very calm good natured person. Do this and they see it as a snub of their love, sexiness, and massive loss of face. They say Thailand is a small place and everyone will know, look down and laugh at them. This thought drives them crazy - and violent.

This is my experience of normal Thai ladies - not the bar girl or professional sex workers. I've no idea if they'd be more tolerant or not. Possibly, as they're more concerned with money.

Yes, you got a pretty accurate picture of how the minds of thai ladies work. From a loving gentle creature to a nasty cruel creature even buddhist teaching cannot help at all.

[metisdead]

As this is a 4 year old topic:  Closed