Urgent help needed!

[oogster8]

I have fallen in this trap 10 years ago. Do nothing! And do not get stressed. Wait till the newborn is there (if any) and have a DNA check AT AN OBJECTIVE INSTITUTION.

If the child is yours you have to take responsibility, not earlier. The worst you can do is sent money and start believing the child is yours at this point.

For me; I paid my lesson. After taking care very well for my GF and her family, the baby was born, it was 'mine', they kept him away from me for 6 months and I paid USD$16,000 for the custody signed.

You could say I know about these things

Each case is different!!!!!!!!!!!

[oogster8]

ok lad first things first why did she stop talking to you, I mean did you have a row, because even thai girls do things

for a reason even if its difficult for us farangs to understand.

the fact that you mention this implies to me you were not totally happy when she stopped communication.

the fact that she is/was not a bar girl is irrelevant, a friend was dating a girl from a laundry who had multiple boyfriends

with names photo's and details pinned to the wall above her computer desk. very well organised and not shy to show

resident farangs how clever she was.

so take nothing for granted and plan for the worst scenario and hope for the best, I have seen quite a few expats get

caught with the baby thing some turn out to be thai some are farang but in a lot of cases it is viewed as a way to tie

down the farang (just like the uk when I was a lad)

a friend up country after spending £200k and nine years on farming confided that if not for the baby he would of been long gone by now, so slowly slowly do not dive in, you have your whole life ahead, there are a lot of things to consider, like

would it be best to pay a decent P.I to check this lady out, if I was at your age in your predicament I would seriously

consider it. but as they say here up to you. good luck.

200,000 pounds is $331,500 . What kind of thai family farming needs $331k? more hilarity! i can see op doing the same same!

[Tchooptip]

Sounds like you already have a plan. However if you take the girl to Aus, have the baby, get the DNA done and then find out it's not yours, what will you do then? I fear she will already have you inextricably trapped by then. Next then look at her profile. What does she do in Pattaya? She will have known she missed her period for 4 months. Has she been working all that time and now cannot work anymore? She had unprotected sex with you the second holiday meeting? Have you been to her room in Pattaya? If she is on love links she could have several boyfriends. If she is smart and super devious as many as one a month. Need to do some serious background checks before you get to the point of no return.first thing I would do is have her meet me at the airport and pretend you will stay in a hotel in pats. Once in the center of pats tell her change of plan you need to stay in her room and have the taxi take you straight there. Can't wait to have a peek inside her laptop!

I have been to her room in Pattaya many times when I have been there. I have no suspicion any any other boyfriends and I guess I have the option of going through her ipad when I'm over there. Thanks for your time in writing back.

A question that could look stupid: Is she from Pattaya or from another region in Thailand?

Of course not every Thai girls from Pattaya are hooker or bar girl or have any relation with the sex industry, on the other hand if she is not from Pattaya, why she comes and for what kind of job, where did her money comes from?

[FlorenceM]

I really like that you feel responsible for this but as a Thai I have to say what I know about my country.

You might not know how many Thai girls (especially Pattaya girls) are ready to get pregnant just to get a foreigner husband to support them and their families.

And you might not know how many people here have STD and HIV as you decided to have unprotected sex.

And...one sperm can make you a father in 9 months, that one sperm (or 1000 more) can come out before you have orgasm.

Anyway, I'm sorry that this happens when you're not ready and causes stress but you have to make sure about everything before you take full responsibility.

My boyfriend was claimed to be the father of his ex-thai date's baby (he used condoms). I knew the story after we are together.

My boyfriend and his family always supported her very well, even took her to Austria to take care of her.

She acted so nice in front of his family but acted like a b_tch in front of us and said she was 1000% sure that the baby was my boyfriend's.

I suffered a lot because of the fact that someone was gonna have my bf's baby but finally when the DNA test came out, it wasn't his.

Now she says "I'm not sure anymore but I'm not a bad girl" (yeah yeah...)

So, get the DNA test. It's important. If it's yours, congratulations! If not, umm you should stay away from this girl and learn your lesson.

My bf lost a lot of money and learned his lesson already.

[cream]

I would go to atleast 2 hospitals to have the paternity tests done to prove it is yours. Doctors there and especially in Pattaya are dishonest.

My best mate was lied to by the doctor from a respectable hospital stating the baby was his. He spent over 1.5 million baht on preperations for the birth.

But when the baby was born it was 100% thai, no farang resemblence what so ever. He took the baby and himself to get DNA tested and their was no match.

The thai ex girlfriend did indeed get pregnant from her thai boyfriend and was just scamming money from my friend.

And surprise, after he immediately ended the relationship and financial assistance the thai boyfriend also left her too and hooked up with another girl.

[DeeMockMark]

I have learn't so much from these posts.

1) ALL women who live in Pattaya are hookers, HHMMM

2) ALL Thai women are crafty, greedy and dishonest liars. HMMMM

3) ALL Farangs who ask for opions are stupid and deserve to be insulted, (by their peers). HMMMMM

4) There is no such thing as meeting a decent woman on a dating site, and if there is an age difference then you are nothing more than a walking ATM.

Very interesting, Thankyou for enlightening me, I will now tell my Thai Fiance that it is over between us, thankyou all for the good advice.

Good move.

[belg]

she probably have 10 other baby daddy candidates....maybe some will send money to do an abortion of a child that does not excist or does belong to her thai husband / brother / uncle ...

drop it and find another one .... THAINESS

[breezer]

A doctor will tell through ultrasound due date and how long gone she is within a few days. The longer it goes the

More they can tell you.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Nemesis7]

By all means I do not wish to sound mean to you. But mate, you met her in aughts and she declares she is pregnant in December!?! It took three months for her to realize she isn't having her period? thats something doesn't sound right. I can feel your tension. But please before you do anything must ensure the baby is yours. Like I said I do not wish to sound mean but hey she works at Pattaya...

[mdmayes]

Man up and accept responsibility. You came to play...now you pay.

[fire2rescue99]

She is 20 and lives in Pattaya..... What does she do in Pattaya? Have you gone to her place of work? And met and have meals with coworkers? I wouldn't do anything until you are sure the child is yours. Anything else you are entering a sequential vortex that an inexperienced newbie should not go alone. You should look at Stickman or elsewhere (is there one that advertises here?) site and hire a detective to verify her daily activities. You should install spyware on the iPad you gave her. The Lovelinks site has a reputation for players. Tread carefully. Good luck, don't let deceit or a world class actress ruin your life. I mean not to demean your relationship, just giving you experienced advice.

[chorizo]

if you come to do the Ultrasound, have a trusted Thai speaking friend with you, so he hears all that is said to the doctors. Do not let her talk alone with the doc. YOU arrange the USound with hosp. Then tell her the day u take her.. Doc should be able to tell you almost to the day how far along she is.

DO NOT tell her why you are doing the Usound ..have her send a picture showing her belly..should be quite large by now....make sure "her" face is in pic too....

Doubt she could bribe a doctor to fake an DNA( I have done them here in TH)...if timeline shows it may be your child, DNAs can be done before child is born......again arrange it yourself at good hosp. in bkk.........instruct them to give results only to you....

Even if it is your child, nothing says you would have to marry her...you don't even know her really. support the child if you like....for a sum she would probably give you the child...

Other posts have said it all....take ur time....no reason to go to Th asap...think before you leap....

Good luck with all.......chorizo

Thanks everyone. I think it's best I do not even talk about Australia until I am 100% certain it is mine. I'm disappointed that she didn't tell me she was late with her period but then again, I'm disappointed in myself for putting myself at risk, even it it is very remote. I need to find out more details and it's hard when I'm over here which is why I was thinking of going to Thailand for 1 - 2 weeks to get an ultrasound done, ask some more questions, talk to the mother, etc,. Maybe I could get a copy of the ultrasound and take it to my doctor here in Australia?

If it is my child, then I have to man up and take responsibility.

Thanks for your advice.

[Showbags]

Where are you Jayme ?

[fire2rescue99]

Sorry, I meant to add, as far as a hospital to use. In Bangkok, BNH Hospital on Convent Rd. or Bumrungrad off Sumkhumvhit. These are the only 2 hospitals that the Canadian Embassy will take blood work documents from as trustworthy.

[breezer]

I've just been too Bangkok hosp total price for all this 2400 that's 350 for the nurse and 1500 for the doc and the rest for US but if she's pregnant all her clothes but now will be too tight and people would know! Trust me my girl is 4 months. The doctors will tell you what's what. Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see here and you'll be right!!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[ABCer]

OP, could the last thing on your list be done first?

[Sayonarax]

Man up and accept responsibility. You came to play...now you pay.

Do you know how to read ?

[kotsak]

They should have this TV show here in Thailand..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDZ4fjZq-H4

[petercarr3]

I have learn't so much from these posts.

1) ALL women who live in Pattaya are hookers, HHMMM

2) ALL Thai women are crafty, greedy and dishonest liars. HMMMM

3) ALL Farangs who ask for opions are stupid and deserve to be insulted, (by their peers). HMMMMM

4) There is no such thing as meeting a decent woman on a dating site, and if there is an age difference then you are nothing more than a walking ATM.

Very interesting, Thankyou for enlightening me, I will now tell my Thai Fiance that it is over between us, thankyou all for the good advice.

Good move.

I was being sarcastic to all the doom and gloom posters.

I met my Fiance on Thai Lovelinks, Yes she is from Isaan, 14 years in BKK in the banking industry, no children, VIRGIN when she met me after 6 months of Skype EVERY day 1-2 hrs plus emails.

Yes she loves me and yes I love her. 2 weeks together last August, met family etc. 2 more weeks coming March and wedding in May.

Yes I am 53 and she is 35, so to all you synics, Tell me how stupid I am, By the way I am a branch manager for a multi national company and I didn't get here because I'm stupid.

[JLCrab]

Re just above post, David Letterman from December 2000:

“The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings... (Jack Benny-type long pause) You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.”

[Korat28]

Not to hate on you bro, but it sounds like she's taking you for a sucker and trying to hook you bait, line, and sinker. I've lived in SE Asia for three years, so I'velearned through trial-and-error mind games women here play.

Signs the girl may be a trick (not trustworthy and out to scam you):

1) You met her on Thai Love Links (I was on there too and A LOT of women are looking for a farang husband/walking ATM to bring them to their native country)

2) She lives in Pattaya (Bar girl capital of Thailand, if not world)

3) You bought her an iPad and give her a monthly stipend (If you give them an inch, they'll take you for a foot and keep wanting more)

4) She is from Isaan (Khon Kaen); Not a bad thing in itself, but I lived in Khon Kaen and believe me, many "poor" women there want to date/marry any farang they can, just so they can get either free English lessons or start a new life in the West (women have told me this point blank)

5) Of course she's going to say she's 100% sure the baby is yours if she's out to scam you. You seem like a friendly new-to-Thailand kind of guy and women like that can sense it on you and they'll try to financially bleed you if they think you're a "sucker."

6)If she's not college educated and has no true education and works in Pattaya, chances are she got knocked up by another farang after working in a gogo bar/massage parlor/etc and now she wants to save face to her family by telling she loves you and wants you to get married. This way she can tell her family you both are in love and you planned the pregnancy.

7) How long have you two known each other and how well do you know each other?

Again, not trying to be a "hater" but PLEASE make sure without a doubt the kid is yours. If it is, then helping to raise it would be noble, but I'd never trust the majority of women I met on TLL.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Korat28

[mmh8]

What s that , it looks liek someone posted this jsut for me. Ok well this is a difficult dilemma. I suggest making a start now, on impregnanting other females. You only have a limited amount of time in which to do this before the water makes you sterile!

[jackr]

I have learn't so much from these posts.

1) ALL women who live in Pattaya are hookers, HHMMM

2) ALL Thai women are crafty, greedy and dishonest liars. HMMMM

3) ALL Farangs who ask for opions are stupid and deserve to be insulted, (by their peers). HMMMMM

4) There is no such thing as meeting a decent woman on a dating site, and if there is an age difference then you are nothing more than a walking ATM.

Very interesting, Thankyou for enlightening me, I will now tell my Thai Fiance that it is over between us, thankyou all for the good advice.

No worries, you know it makes sense.

[DeeMockMark]

Re just above post, David Letterman from December 2000:

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings... (Jack Benny-type long pause) You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

LOL!!

To the OP...... just remember no good deed remains unpunished. Remember that through your trials. Please do man up and take responsibility. (If it is yours.) but don't think just because you do the right thing you will be appreciated and everything will be ok. Do it because that is who the hell you are! And if it is not who you are... grow up and become that man! This is life Boyo. Manning up means exactly that. MAN UP! No punking out. No changing courses in mid stream. No future whining. (I hate that s**t.) Ok?

Now....... Make absolutely 100% for sure and then .....

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!

I wish you the best.

[MyFriend You]

I have learn't so much from these posts.

1) ALL women who live in Pattaya are hookers, HHMMM

2) ALL Thai women are crafty, greedy and dishonest liars. HMMMM

3) ALL Farangs who ask for opions are stupid and deserve to be insulted, (by their peers). HMMMMM

4) There is no such thing as meeting a decent woman on a dating site, and if there is an age difference then you are nothing more than a walking ATM.

Very interesting, Thankyou for enlightening me, I will now tell my Thai Fiance that it is over between us, thankyou all for the good advice.

Good move.

[MyFriend You]

I have learn't so much from these posts.

1) ALL women who live in Pattaya are hookers, HHMMM

2) ALL Thai women are crafty, greedy and dishonest liars. HMMMM

3) ALL Farangs who ask for opions are stupid and deserve to be insulted, (by their peers). HMMMMM

4) There is no such thing as meeting a decent woman on a dating site, and if there is an age difference then you are nothing more than a walking ATM.

Very interesting, Thankyou for enlightening me, I will now tell my Thai Fiance that it is over between us, thankyou all for the good advice.

Good move.

I was being sarcastic to all the doom and gloom posters.

I met my Fiance on Thai Lovelinks, Yes she is from Isaan, 14 years in BKK in the banking industry, no children, VIRGIN when she met me after 6 months of Skype EVERY day 1-2 hrs plus emails.

Yes she loves me and yes I love her. 2 weeks together last August, met family etc. 2 more weeks coming March and wedding in May.

Yes I am 53 and she is 35, so to all you synics, Tell me how stupid I am, By the way I am a branch manager for a multi national company and I didn't get here because I'm stupid.

Good Luck with this............but as they say - keep a jaundiced eye opened, he fact she is 35 and unmarried is a real 'red flag' - or maybe was just being used as an ATM by her family so her brothers could go to School - its quite common for the Sister to become servitude to their family, to but the brother the Motorcycle, pay for his education, pocket money etc etc etc.

Just make sure the Pee-Chai is really the Brother, and not the 'Lao Cow' drinking Thai Husband.

[DeeMockMark]

Yes she loves me and yes I love her. 2 weeks together last August, met family etc. 2 more weeks coming March and wedding in May.

Yes I am 53 and she is 35, so to all you synics, Tell me how stupid I am, By the way I am a branch manager for a multi national company and I didn't get here because I'm stupid.

I am not going to say you are stupid. But it is not 'synics' its 'cynics.'

You see? We all make mistakes. Even branch managers of a multi national company. And that is the point of these C-Y-N-I-C-S.

I hope you live and not regret your brashness or just live to regret it. Because living is nice. Just don't tempt her or anyone in her family with a situation where they can materially profit from your untimely death. That is not cynicism. That is wisdom.

Good luck.

[Sheryl]

"I went back for around 4 weeks in August 2013 which we travel together and I met her family in Khon Kaen. There was 2 occasions where I didn't use a condom but pulled out well before. Now she is saying she is pregnant and has known since December."

From what you say, while pregnancy is not impossible it is unlikely. Also, if she conceived in August she ought to have known well before December.

I would focus on verifying (1) that she is in fact pregnant (2) that the pregnancy duration is consistent with conception in August and (3) that it is your child.

Only if all 3 of these things check out should you investigate getting her to Australia and so forth.

[DeeMockMark]

Not to hate on you bro, but it sounds like she's taking you for a sucker and trying to hook you bait, line, and sinker. I've lived in SE Asia for three years, so I'velearned through trial-and-error mind games women here play.

Signs the girl may be a trick (not trustworthy and out to scam you):

1) You met her on Thai Love Links (I was on there too and A LOT of women are looking for a farang husband/walking ATM to bring them to their native country)

2) She lives in Pattaya (Bar girl capital of Thailand, if not world)

3) You bought her an iPad and give her a monthly stipend (If you give them an inch, they'll take you for a foot and keep wanting more)

4) She is from Isaan (Khon Kaen); Not a bad thing in itself, but I lived in Khon Kaen and believe me, many "poor" women there want to date/marry any farang they can, just so they can get either free English lessons or start a new life in the West (women have told me this point blank)

5) Of course she's going to say she's 100% sure the baby is yours if she's out to scam you. You seem like a friendly new-to-Thailand kind of guy and women like that can sense it on you and they'll try to financially bleed you if they think you're a "sucker."

6)If she's not college educated and has no true education and works in Pattaya, chances are she got knocked up by another farang after working in a gogo bar/massage parlor/etc and now she wants to save face to her family by telling she loves you and wants you to get married. This way she can tell her family you both are in love and you planned the pregnancy.

7) How long have you two known each other and how well do you know each other?

Again, not trying to be a "hater" but PLEASE make sure without a doubt the kid is yours. If it is, then helping to raise it would be noble, but I'd never trust the majority of women I met on TLL.

Well said.

OP you did the right thing by coming to Thaivisa. We will bust your balls. But we will also give you good advice. You have received your share today. You know the deal. Heed the good advice you have gotten. And of course .... being guys.... we will give you a rough time sometimes but you have brought out some really good responses. So the ball is in your corner.

[oogster8]

3) You bought her an iPad and give her a monthly stipend (If you give them an inch, they'll take you for a foot and keep wanting more)

Just experienced this for the worse. Im fair dealing with thai girls........lol. But there comes a point where a guy juts says NO and girl ends up with nothing..

is my reaction the exception where the fellow say NO MAS NO MAS, no more no more............lol.